I haven’t slept properly in days. My mind wont stop racing. I’m so tired. I’m trying to sleep now and my whole body is shaking. I feel scared like something bad is going to happen. I just want to sleep.
my mom found out i self harm. she said i should stop because is not something good, she also said she didn’t even want to see my body because it’s probably full of cuts and scars.
I went to the doctor a few days ago with my mom for a check up and she literally saw my arm and went “those are obviously from self harm”. I NEVER felt more uncomfortable in my life. I just wanted to disappear. The doctor later talked with my mom about how that should be treated with medications and therapy, and my mom was like “yes!! I saw them too and I think the same!”, later at home she sat down with me and started to tell me how sorry she was but that I should stop that because it’s wrong. WHO TF SHE THINKS SHE IS. like I know its wrong but I dont need anyone to tell me that. I feel so disgusting I never wanted them to find out NEVER because I knew they would never understand. I was right they just won’t. she said she is always there for me but that’s a big lie I know better now and i can’t trust anyone. My parents are one of the reasons why I’m so bad. Who tf can I trust them??? I don’t want to either. I’m so scared because self harming is so addictive to me and I dont want to stop but now the she knows she will check my wrists and that scares me so much.
Why does my anxiety make me feel like I’m gonna go CRAZY. I feel like I’m not in control of my thoughts… the way my mind races and I cant relax or sleep anymore. It feels like I’m gonna go psychotic or something. LET ME JUST RELAX PLEASE. PLEASE JUST LET ME FEEL NORMAL.