~ Over the Rainbow 14 ~
AN: I’ve just spent two days at MCM London comic con so I’m in an extra good mood :’) plus tomorrow is the start of my autumnal week! So there’ll be a fic a day for seven days plus OTR series is still going on. So enjoy!
DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NEW TO MARVEL AND HAVEN’T SEEN AVENGERS: ENDGAME YET AS THERE ARE A FEW SPOILERS
🌈 Part 13 here 🌈:
Parings: Bucky Barnes x Rogers!F!Reader
Characters: Y/N Rogers, Steve Rogers, Scott Lang, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff & Tony Stark. Bucky Barnes is mentioned.
warnings: screaming, crying, swearing, grieve, mentions of food and angst. Sorrrry!!!
(gif not mine):
Five whole years of being without Bucky again. Again. You hated it. You hated the grieving progress again.
You weren’t taking care of yourself. Your only form of food, when you remembered to eat, were again, plums. Just to have some form of closeness to Bucky.
You hadn’t properly slept, you’d wake up in cold sweats in the night because of nightmares.
The look of terror on Bucky’s face as he turned to dust played over and over in your mind.
You moved back to the compound for now, Wakanda was too painful.
“Y/N?” Steve asked gently.
You were in your room, your record player bursting volume of songs - songs you didn’t even like. If a room was silent, you just heard Bucky calling yours and Steve’s names as he vanished.
You hated silence.
Steve opened the door and the sight broke his heart, you were curled in your bed, wrapped in Bucky’s clothing, clutching a photograph of Bucky close to your chest.
“PUT THAT BACK ON!” You shouted, shooting up from your bed as Steve turned the record off.
“Y/N, you’ll loose your hearing,” Steve said, he hated seeing you like this, he was scared. Scared for you.
“I’d rather loose my hearing than constantly hear Bucky call our names,” you snapped, running over to the record player and turning it on again.
“Y/N. Please, stop. You’re scaring me,” Steve pleaded as he turned it off.
“Steven, I’m not joking. Turn that back on now!” You demanded.
“Y/N, please -“ Steve begged, his eyes shining with tears.
He hadn’t seen you grieve. When your mum died, you stayed strong for him. Only crying in your own time and alone.
He wasn’t there when you lost Bucky the first time. It terrified him. He needed you as well, he hated seeing you fall apart.
“Steve, stop it please. Leave me alone,” you said, turning the record back on.
“Please, Y/N. I can’t bare to see you like this. You’re not acting like yourself,” Steve’s voice broke.
“Yeah well I’m not me anymore, Steve. I had Bucky back for what? A few years? What have I done to deserve all this cruelty?” You asked, tearfully.
Steve stared at you. Finally, you were speaking.
“What have I done?! Have I done something to piss someone off somewhere?! All I’ve ever done was put others before me. I’ve never … never ever EVER asked for anything. The only thing I want is Bucky and HE’S FUCKING DEAD!” You screamed.
Steve stood there while you finally got everything off your chest. He flinched as you three books off the bookshelf you were both standing next to.
He knew you had to get out whatever you’re feeling, but he hated seeing you like this. It hurt.
“I JUST WANT BUCKY AND HE’S NOT HERE AND IT’S NOT FAIR!” You screamed, after all the books fell off the shelves, leaving the record player the only thing on the now empty shelves.
Steve stood staring at you as you angrily threw whatever you could find, screaming at the top of your lungs that it wasn’t fair.
Steve stood and watched you tearfully. He was at a loss and scared.
“WHY DID YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE BUCKY ONLY TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME TIME AND TIME AGAIN?! WHY?!” You screamed at the sky.
Steve swallowed a lump in his throat as he watched you.
“…why Steve? What … what did I do?” You sobbed looking at Steve desperately.
“I don’t know … I don’t … I’m so sorry,” Steve said tearfully.
You fell to the ground and cried into your hands. Steve took no time into running over and hugging you tightly. Rocking you back and fourth as you cried.
After your crying fit, Steve made you something warm to eat that wasn’t plums.
He made you soup. The same kind of soup your mum made you both when you had a nasty shock. You learnt how to make it with her, and then you taught Steve after she passed away.
“I haven’t had this in such a long time,” you said, peacefully eating the soup, it warming and comforting you.
“It’s not nearly as good as when you make it. Or when Mom made it,” Steve said, smiling fondly as he ate with you.
“It’s even better,” you said smiling gently at him, he smiled softly back.
Then he took you on a walk, you hadn’t really left the compound in five years.
“It’s so quiet,” you whispered, wrapping Bucky’s shirt tightly around you as you walked.
“Even some birds went,” Steve said sadly.
“How have you been, Steve? I’m …I’m sorry I haven’t helped you grieve properly,” you said gently when you both found a spot in a park to sit.
“I’ve been okay,” Steve said gently.
“Steve,” you said worriedly, your position as big sister came back.
“…it’s my fault,” Steve said, hanging his head.
“No. It’s not your fault, you mustn’t think like that,” you said tearfully, looking at your baby brother.
“Y/N….” Steve said tearfully.
“Steve, it’s not your fault. None of this is,” you said firmly.
Steve nodded tearfully, he learnt at an early age not to argue with you, you always won.
“Why did Bucky look like Jesus?” Steve asked suddenly after a silence.
You whipped your head at him.
“…oh my god,” you said, after it dawned on you.
You both looked at each other, then laughed.
“He suits long hair though,” Steve said after a while.
“He does … he did,” you said, sadly correcting yourself.
You sat playing with the rim of Bucky’s shirt, Steve sat next to you in silence.
“I have to find a way to bring everyone back. Will you help me, please? I … I need my big sister,” Steve wobbled, looking at you.
“I’ll help. Of course I will,” you said gently.
You both hugged again. Tightly.
“You shaved,” you said as you pulled apart, only noticing your baby brother’s clean shaved face.
“You’re only noticing now?” Steve said, smiling at you.
You both shared another breathy laugh.
“Hiya, Y/N. Long time,” Natasha smiled at you.
“Hiya, Natty,” you smiled, giving her a hug.
“Is that Scott?” Natasha asked, seeing Scott on the monitor.
“Is this old?” You asked.
“It’s live,” Natasha confirmed.
You and Steve whipped your heads at her. You all ran out. You stared at Scott, he smiled at you.
“Whoa! Hey. Missed you too,” Scott smiled as you ran over to him and hugged him tightly.
“So those decks really did come in handy, huh?” Scott asked gently.
He had just explained how he could get everyone back. You were sitting alone, shuffling the deck of cards that Scott gave you a few years ago.
“They’ve never left my pocket,” you smiled up at him as he sat down next to you.
“Learnt anything new?” He asked.
“Nothing that you wouldn’t know, I’m sure,” you said.
Scott smiled again. You loved Scott. He was like a father to you. You and Steve never had a good father, your father was always drunk and hit your mum more times than you’d like to count.
“I’m sorry about Hope and her family,” you said gently.
“Hey. It’s alright. I’m sorry about Buck,” Scott said gently.
“…Bucky. I’d just tell you now because he gets really grumpy when someone other than me or Steve calls him Buck,” you said gently, Scott smiled.
“Noted,” Scott said softly, you smiled.
“When you first gave me these cards and Bucky finally remembered me. I made him laugh with a trick. Bucky’s laugh is something I miss the most about him. He had the most beautiful laugh,” you said, smiling fondly.
Scott smiled at you.
“I can’t imagine Bucky laughing. He’s always so grumpy,” Scott said gently, you looked at him.
For a while Scott thought he had offended you and was about to apologise when suddenly, you snorted with laughter. Scott smiled.
“He always acted grumpy around everyone else, but in reality he’s a big teddy bear,” you smiled, then your face fell a little. “Do NOT tell him I said that!” You said.
“I won’t,” Scott smiled.
“Scott, we need you,” Steve said gently.
“Right. Let’s get everyone back, shall we?” Scott smiled at you as he stood up.
He extended his hand to you, you smiled and took it as you stood up, you slid the deck of cards back into your pocket and zipped it up.
“Let’s get everyone back,” you smiled.
You looked to the sky as Scott and Steve went inside.
“I’m bringing you home,” you whispered, looking down at your ring finger with the beautiful engagement ring on. “I’m bringing you home, Bucky. I promise.” You whispered.
You sighed heavily then put your brave big sister face on and went inside.
“That’s a baby,” Steve said after a trail of test runs.
“It’s Scott,” Bruce shrugged.
“As a baby!” Steve said, he was getting frustrated.
“It’s fine, he’ll grow!” Bruce shrugged.
“Y/N. Talk sense into the green guy!” Steve snapped at you.
“I dunno. He’s quite cute,” you shrugged.
Steve growled at you but he was happy to see you acting like yourself again.
“C’on, Banner. I’m sure Scott doesn’t wanna go through puberty again,” you said, firmly.
“Fine,” Bruce sulked, you giggled.
Scott came back, he looked shocked.
“How’d you feel?” Steve asked gently.
“I think I peed myself. I’m not sure if it was old me or baby me or just … me …me,” Scott said slowly, you giggled.
You noticed Steve leave the lab, you got worried. You followed him. He did look frustrated.
“We’ll do it, Steve,” you said reassuringly.
Steve looked at you.
“That didn’t work,” Steve’s voice was quiet.
“We can try again,” you said gently.
You both saw a car pull up. Tony sat in the car, You beamed.
“He turned into a baby, didn’t he?” Tony asked as he got out of the car.
You smiled softly. Tony explained stuff to you and Steve.
“Besides, you’re gonna need this,” Tony said getting the shield out, You smiled. “If I don’t get it out of my garage Morgan’s gonna take it sledding.” He added gently.
“I’d pay to see that,” you said, Tony smiled.
“Come on. Let’s go,” Tony said, you followed him.
You were gonna get Bucky back.
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