To all writers/artists out there
You don’t suck. Practice makes perfect. With work and time, you’ll get as far as you want. And if you can’t believe in yourself right now, I’ll believe in you. 💙
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History of the shadow:
Everybody has a shadow self, it’s not possible to be shadow-less. Whether it’s your primitive self or aspects that you reject. From the time that we develop a sense of the world we begin to sort out what we think we need to reject within the world and within ourselves. The more things that we reject and the longer we reject them, the bigger and deeper the shadow grows and plants itself. Once we examine our shadow self, we begin to break down the walls of things we previously saw as taboo and reject worthy and start to nurture those things as dark aspects that must exist in order to have light (law of polarity: one extreme cannot exist without the opposite extreme). The purpose of shadow work is to break down those walls to be able to see the darkness with more compassion. This allows us to acknowledge the things we suppress within ourselves, from there we can sort out what darkness could be used for good (anger = passion = what are you passionate about? = how can you use this for good?) and what darkness we need to heal and move on from.
What the shadow is:
The shadow aspect of ourselves are the parts we don’t want to admit to having. This can include anything we reject within ourselves. We might reject these aspects due to learned behaviors or beliefs, things we were told aren’t okay to do or be, or things we personally have told ourselves aren’t okay to do. For example: many people hold the belief that crying over simple things isn’t okay and it’s something that only children should do, therefore the adult avoids doing it. Not only does this damage and suppress the inner child we all have within us, it also allows our shadow to grow larger and more prominent the more we repress our natural emotions. Not every aspect of the shadow is a negative one - within the behaviors we see as dark or negative, we are able to find our personal power; we can find our fighter side through our anger and so on.
Examples of the shadow self: Any emotion or attribute you don’t want to admit you have (laziness, rage, cruelty, manipulativeness, sadness, but also, social beliefs, likes and dislikes, what makes you who you are)… anything that you hold inside of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having. For me personally - I couldn’t admit I was a lazy, indecisive, eccentric, grudge holding bisexual witch for the longest time until I began exploring my shadow side. I used to get upset when people would call me those things and I used to suppress those sides of myself. When I began exploring my shadow self, I realized that all of those things are a part of me, and I was able to explore which of those things will serve me well, how they can do good for me and how I can heal them or express them in a healthy way and use them to my benefit.
How the shadow appears:
Just like with real shadows; we stand in the light and if we look back we can see a dark shape with the same form as our bodies - sometimes these shadows are large and sometimes they can be small. Although this is a metaphor, our shadow self is basically a mirror image of ourselves and the dark and rejected aspects of our mind - these parts aren’t always obvious or prominent, they mostly appear subconsciously and through subconscious behaviors that we don’t always recognize. For example: You are having a conversation with a friend and they mention a belief that you do not agree with. Instead of explaining your belief in a calm and respectful way while trying to understand where they are coming from,, you immediately get angry at what they said, but you suppress your anger and change the topic or you have an outburst of anger. This is your shadow self coming up, this can happen with any and every emotion and topic imaginable. One way to recognize your shadow self in this situation is to ask yourself, “what topic set me off? Why would that topic upset me? What in my DNA or in my past could make me be upset towards that opinion? What was my reaction? Why did I react that way? How could I use that reaction in a positive way?” The purpose of shadow work is not to get rid of your negative emotions, but to recognize them and use them in a positive or healthier way. The longer you allow your natural emotions to be suppressed or expressed in an unhealthy way, the bigger and more prominent your shadow grows. So, in short, the shadow appears through subconscious and repressed behaviors, thoughts and beliefs.
Explained as psychology:
The shadow self is actually a term created by psychologist Carl Jung. Although the definition in psychology is a little different - Jung explained the shadow as the uncivilized//primitive sides of ourselves (if we took society away, how our primitive ancestors lived and how we hold those attributes in society today). Jung’s theory was that in order to live a fully integrated human life within society, we need to understand both the primitive and modern aspects of ourselves and how these attributes appear in the collective society. He spoke of the collective shadow; how people unite their shadows within society. Some aspects are based on ethnicity for this reason; throughout history our ancestors have left us hypothetical notes on our DNA telling us what we need and don’t need, that we need to fear and not fear certain things. For example: a person of Irish descent may have the ancestral shadow need to eat as much as they can or to not waste food with the purpose being that their ancestors during the food crisis’ in Ireland left those hypothetical notes in their DNA to warn their descendants of the need to conserve food. These appear in our shadows because even though the current descendent of that ancestry may have a stable food supply, they might still harbor that ancestry-based fear and see it as irrational, when it’s really just a note from their ancestors in their shadow.
That is one example of ancestral primitive needs - we all have collective primitive needs regardless of descent; food, water and security. Jung’s theory was that people unite all of these shadow aspects into their modern societies, and that it becomes dangerous when we project these primitive shadows into modern societies. This is all up for theorization, but I personally see it as a positive and negative thing at the same time.
Negative Examples: (1) A descendent of colonizers will most likely have racist or entitled ancestral notes in their DNA - leading to the racism and entitlement we continue to see every damn day. (2) The collective primitive need for food and safety existing in a corrupt and unsafe modern world where not everyone has access to food or safety.
Positive Examples: (1) Descendants of minorities and activists holding ancestral notes to continue to rise against oppression and fight for fair equality. (2) The collective primitive actions of compassion - during prehistory and for some people living after that period, while there were groups who did not accept outsiders under any circumstances, there were many groups who accepted and cared for those who were struggling or injured regardless of who that person was. This shows today with select individuals choosing to put themselves at risk to help others, taking people in and helping them get on their feet and so on.
Conclusion:
The Shadow Self Is:
The attitudes, behaviors, emotions and values within ourselves that we reject
All parts of ourselves that we ignore
The collective primitive needs we hold in our DNA
The ancestral primitive needs we hold in our DNA
Any attitude or act that we cannot rationally explain (Ex: “I am sad but I have no idea why.”)
The Purpose of Shadow Work:
To acknowledge the dark parts of ourselves to be able to use them for good
To acknowledge those dark parts and approach them with more understanding and compassion, further allowing us to act with our higher consciousness rather than the learned worldly-programming.
To recognize what things we need to heal and move on from and what things can be transformed into something good
To uncover what fears and beliefs belong to us and what things are primitive notes in our DNA
To begin to act as our higher self, or our true selves.
In the craft: to connect with our ancestors and culture. It unlocks a portion of the mind needed to understand the world around us. It becomes easier to connect with your guides and perform spell work.
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This is what happens when you become an adult and stop letting your guardians keep the house a complete mess so you take it upon yourself to clean out the linen closet and wash ALL of the sheets and blankets. It may not look like alot but I promise that chair is pretty big and the washer and dryer are both full too. Normalize changing your surroundings to the best of your ability!
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A Live Guided Meditation Experience!
This method is super simple and easy and is changing the live of those all of the world.🌎🕊 Free Online Event Saturday at 3pm EST.
also 1 on 1 session available too!
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marylandmeditation.org
301-770-7778
0Am I Sherlock, or is the trauma poking through my habit of dramatising life?
I hate having to wake up. It’s the worst part of my day, even though I am a morning person. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s just how I am.
I love being asleep, i.e not having to be awake and ergo, exist. But unfortunately for me, I am most productive in the morning(I consider this to be anytime in the am) , so I have to wake up and do stuff.
And I HATE doing stuff I’m forced to do because of the superficial expectations of society.
So, back to me being Sherlock and having crazy anxiety I will probably never tell my parents about.
I can tell my friends lie to me. Don’t worry, it’s nothing dramatic, it’s just- everyday I make an effort to ask them “how are you doing today? How do you feel?” And tell them that I love them. I try to do this every single day.
Some days, when they answer in affirmatives, I don’t believe them. I don’t know whether it’s because I am picking up on clues (that may not even be there and might be a result of me overthinking every fucking thing ever) or because I know they haven’t been okay, and am aware of something that might be bothering them. I don’t like those days, because for some reason, no matter how hard I try- they feel unable to talk to me.
And it breaks my heart because I love them so so so freaking much and hate the thought of them hurting.
I know these things are difficult to talk about, no matter how close you are to someone, and some people prefer to keep it in. I just hope the people I love, know that I love them, and that I am here for them whenever they need me, for whatever it may be.
And I hope you know that too, stranger reading this. I don’t know anything about you, but- I love you. I like that you exist, I want you to keep existing, I am here for you if you need to rant to me about anything, to listen, to hold, to advise if that’s what you want.
I love you, and I will never be the only one to do so.
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did you remember to…
- Drink some water
- Take a deep breath
- Think a kind thought about yourself
do these now! then go on about your day and have a good one ✨
0🌿 Reasons to stay alive:
1) Discovering yourself (you are worth discovering)
2) How silly people get when they’re sleepy
3) Sitting in hammocks
4) long hugs
5) Going to the zoo
6) Carving pumpkins
7) cute baby animals
8) kissing in the rain
9) singing
10) The smell of baking cookies
11) picnics
12) Warm blankets when it’s cold
13) you are so loved
14) octobers
15) staying up all night and sleeping in
16) water balloon fights
17) making babies smile
18) movie marathons
19) foreign cities, languages, people & food
20) Those “this never leaves the room” moments
21) rainbows
22) you will be missed
23) Drinking hot chocolate/coffee/ & tea
24) Binge-watching a series
25) Slow dances
26) you are never alone
27) meeting new people
28) traveling
29) Watermelon in the summer
30) sunsets
31) naps
32) road trips
33) Finally understanding what something means
34) late-night phone calls
35) Listening to rainstorms
36) Cuddling
37) climbing trees
38) Going for walks
39) Doing crazy things with your best friends
40) getting married someday
41) Kind comments from others
42) tears of joy
43) drawing
44) cartoons
45) laughing really hard
46) making other people happy
47) sleeping in
48) jumping in puddles
49) Flowers
50) you are needed
51) fireflies
52) undiscovered forests
53) art
54) Really good books
55) finding love of all kinds
56) jumping really high on a trampoline
57) hugging
58) full moons
59) crunchy leaves
60) Seeing yourself recover
61) concerts
62) stargazing
63) kissing
64) secrets and promises
65) Autumn leaves
66) knowing all of the lyrics to a song
67) orgasms
68) the smell after rain
69) Getting handwritten notes in the mail
70) Halloween
71) Clean sheets
72) The first snow of the winter
73) petting puppies
74) City lights
75) late night walks
76) Building forts
77) Smiling in the middle of a kiss
78) people care about you
79) you are important
80) bonfires
81) thunderstorms
82) having kids if you want
83) sunrises
84) When a baby holds onto one of your fingers with it’s whole hand
85) going to comic con
86) kind strangers
87) bowties
88) treehouses
89) music
90) slow dance parties in your room
91) new video games
92) long drives
93) being awake when everyone else is asleep
94) eye sex
95) smiling at strangers
96) onesies
97) you could save someone’s life
98) The sky and it’s beautiful colors
99) walks on the beach
100) sitting on rooftops
101) paint fights
102) There will be a time you’ll see that you’re glad you didn’t do it
103) pillow fights
104) lying on grass and watching clouds
105) you matter
106) watching fireworks
107) graduating
108) snow cones
109) bay windows
110) silence that isn’t awkward
111) messy hair
112) Your pets wouldn’t understand why you’re not around
113) warm showers
114) making smores
115) when you start smiling and can’t stop
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You wanted me on my knees.
(Although flirty in nature, this is not an invitation. I have no interest in sexting with you or seeing your genitalia. Also DON’T call me sexy, it makes my skin crawl. This is simply a woman sharing the love of her body with the world.)
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Learning German to keep the mind healthy, and working out to try and improve on this “dad-bod”. So, what are you doing during lock-down?
1There are many things I need to work on, and I realise now that I’m self-sabotaging my journey the most of the time and this is a path I need to change. A path that belongs to my old self, someone I’m gradually leaving day by day. Today is important to start a new routine, everyday is a new challenge and opportunity to love myself and prove to my inner self, to my inner child, that she is worth it. She deserves happiness and joy, she deserves my attention and care. She deserves a plan that will make her a better self. I’m the only one in power to do this. To deeply love myself and to love my growth.
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