Day 3 retry for me.
Fuzzy hair and rainy days. Today I tried to just enjoy myself and embrace who I am.
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what are….. “boundaries”? ….. when u say not to let people take advantage of me……….. can u explain…… further…………. lemme kno
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I moved out of my apartment today. The one bedroom apartment that my sister, her ex boyfriend, a cat and a puppy lived in, letting me move in with my boxes of stuff, packed in a day after my abusive housemate threatened me and said I would never leave.
I slept on the couch that I had picked up off the street, the same couch my housemate had said he would never let me take because my furniture was now his. Naturally, I took the fucking couch.
The same night I moved into this apartment, my appendix decided to give up on life. 48 hours later I came back to this apartment minus an appendix. My sister, her ex boyfriend, her cat and her dog all moved out a week later and it became my apartment. My home.
I was single for the two years that I lived in this apartment. I starved myself in this apartment. I also learned to feed myself in this apartment. I came back to this apartment after being raped, suffered PTSD alone within its walls. I also discovered my own personal strength here. My desire to live, to love.
I slept with strangers in this apartment. Men I hoped would carry me away and men I hoped would leave as soon as they were done. I slowly learned that the flow of men in my life was unnecessary and wouldn’t heal the wound that rape and a life full of unresolved issues left behind.
I learned how to make myself tea and plop myself into pyjamas and teach myself this strange concept called self love. (I’m still teaching myself this). I learned how to change light bulbs, turn off the goddamn fire alarm and blow out candles before I go to bed.
I learned that I am capable of being alone and the “alone” does not always equate to loneliness.
2Reason #1855
I want to recover to live out each plan I have made with my best friends and the lives we could live together
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Day 2 redo…
I’ve been staring at student papers all day so I’m a bit tired and it shows. But, that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate myself a little too…even if I look a bit haggard.
3The movie you tell your friends to see.
I have a whole list! Let’s get on with it, shall we?
- Lilo and Stitch
This is my childhood right here. You wanna be my friend? Watch this first, then get back to me. Then I’ll spend time with you and determine if you’re worth my time or not….it’s usually not.
- The Heathers
Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw! I LOVE this movie. It’s the perfect dark comedy to parody classic 80′s high school films. And the quotes are to DIE FOR! Mean Girls, nah…I’ll stick with the Heathers, thanks.
- The Breakfast Club
I don’t hate 80′s films. That’s why I’ve posted this one. It’s so unique. Not many films are based in a single setting and manage to make a successful movie off of it. I love the Breakfast Club! We’re all a princess, a brainiac, a basketcase, an athlete, and a criminal. Well, at least I think we are…
- Stand By Me
Probably the first-ever coming-of-age 80′s film I’ve ever watched. The story stuck with me for a long time and I always find myself thinking about it from time to time. I miss River. He’s an amazing actor.
1Follow @themanfestationpower for more affirmations or take the Free Test to find out what’s blocking you from manifesting the life of your dreams: https://bit.ly/quizTMP
5in the end i am a perpetually angry ugly boy who is building his life on a bridge of insecurities.
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Recycle ♻️ that energy Black Queens! Rise each other up, not tear each other down!
413I must be one of the few singe people who barely notices Valentine’s Day come and go. A lot of people (whether in relationships or not) observe it every year. Many of my friends not in relationships make jokes about it (although you can tell it bothers them) and the internet has no end of “no date on Valentine’s memes”. I’m not saying I’ve never been bothered about being single but I will say I never let it get to me because of Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if I’ll even want to celebrate it when I do get in a relationship.
It’s just a good way for plenty of companies dealing in flowers, chocolates, cards, and fine dining places to stuff their pockets with extra money cashing in on this holiday. Do people really need this specific day to show they love and care for someone? You don’t need an excuse to show you care. There’s plenty of days throughout the year to show you do. Love isn’t based on one a day year, it’s every day.
If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it’s no different than being single any other day. You’re worth isn’t based on whether or not you’re in a relationship. Its probably better to stay single until you can see your worth apart from anyone else. For those of you feeling the Valentine’s Day blues, I say cheer up! Treat yourself! Buy yourself something nice go out and do something. Use the day to show you love yourself. Build yourself up.
0Acknowledging your needs, boundaries, and emotions is not a weakness.
Refusing to compromise on the things that keep you safe is not selfish.
Getting to know yourself is not Egotism
Loving and accepting yourself is not narcissistic.
Asking for respect is not rudeness.
Refusing to tolerate things that harm you is not silly or ridiculous
Caring for yourself is not laziness.
Strength and kindness towards yourself take many forms, and the things you do for the sake of your health, happiness, and safety are valid regardless of the opinions of people who do not understand. You are strong, compassionate, kind and brave for caring for yourself and your needs. There is immense strength in your devotion to your recovery. You are not alone, keep fighting.
R
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