#self-hatred Tumblr posts

  • i swear i push people away with my depressing energy. 

    they think it’s all an act, so they stick around to try and figure me out just cause i’m “intriguing” 

    honey, you’re in for a big treat.

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  • Never assume one’s unemployed position. 

    Not all of us choose to be unemployed. Yes, we’ve applied to as many job openings as possible. No we did not choose to have ZERO income and laze in bed all day. 

    have you tried applying?” YES. YES WE HAVE. But it’s not up to us whether or not the company wants to call back for the interview. 

    So please stop making an ass out of yourself. 

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  • Getting hit hard with memories of … call him Iodine … being super nice and kind and concerned with my wellbeing.  And from there I fall back into feeling like he did nothing wrong and it’s my fault that I’m traumatized from it, because I’m not rational and I believe in God …

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  • self-loathing should not be this comfortable

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  • Do you know that feeling…?

    When you thought everything was alright… Suddenly they ask you to forget them the next second? I mean, i feel like you’re suffering because of my shit. You’re tired of my shenanigans, my thoughts, my chats and specially me. But hell do i want to forget you, hell do i want to let go, hell do i want to leave you, but i didn’t, yet i tried but i couldn’t. Maybe it’s not you who needs me, it was me who needs you. But hell you want to forget me, hell do you want to let me go, hell do you want to leave me, but you couldn’t because i can’t either.


    Everyone’s tired of me and my shit.

    But i can’t kill myself because I’m a “coward”.

    Well, I’m sorry for being a coward.

    Soon…

    I’ll sum up the courage to do it and tell you that “everyone does something for a reason and sometimes those reasons aren’t reasonable enough to be true so you won’t believe them when they say they’re tired.”

    I’ll give you signs if I’m already tired. But don’t be shocked when I’m gone the next second, because i wanted this to happen because i wanted you of all the people i met, happy.

    Yeet, imma go sleep now.

    I’ll delete this first thing in the morning.

    #suicide#depression#self-hatred#self-harm #i can't take this anymore
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  • I shy away from social media. 

    I remember twitter being my haven to just rant without anyone judging me. But it backlash. So I opened a private account with people whom i trust. I could rant my heart out there without the insecurities. 

    Instagram was a different ballgame. I used to not give a fuck of what I posted, whether it was just a photo of food or an unglam group photo. But now, there’s standards on the ‘Gram that is apparently accepted socially. I stopped posting silly photos, better yet, I only posted handfuls in a year. 

    But from there, I kept seeing how others’ lives were filled with people that cared for them, with their replies and likes or retweets or how many comments they get on their photos. That feeling of not being socially accepted and alone deepens as I focused on those numbers. I decided to delete the app. Throw away negativity that is unnecessary in life. Due to that, I admit, I’ve been late to the latest trends or gossips that everyone’s talking about, which made me feel even more left out. So what the actual fuck am I supposed to do now right?

    I don’t have that many friends to start with, let alone someone I could basically put my whole life and trust. 

    It sucks to know that I will never be someone’s first. 

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  • Wenn du Stück Scheiße vergessen hast, wo deine Klinge ist und sogar zum bluten zu dumm bist.

    #me #piece of shit #Selbsthass#self-hatred#svv#suizid #dumm wie 3 meter feldweg
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  • I want to stop hating myself.

    Not because I want to love myself or I think I should, but because all this hate builds up like jars of dirty paint water and every time I kick one over I end up spilling hatred onto the ones I love.

    And if hating myself means ruining their pictures, then I can’t do it anymore.

    #self-hatred#family love #hate is a double edged sword #only you can’t see it #my writing#writeblr#personal #I hate myself #I want to be stronger
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  • its real sad fucking hours in this Denny’s tonight

    Keep reading

    #depression#anxiety#self-hatred #I should probably get some therapy #or at least work up the courage to get back on my medication
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  • (TW: alcoholism, suicide, self-hatred)

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    #do no.t re/bl0g #not seeking advice #alcoholism tw#suicide tw#self-hatred
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    How to make a whole ass clown of yourself and get destroyed by receipts.Just be happy with yo white man and leave the rest of us alone.

    #interracial dating#self-hatred #anti-blackness for the lose
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  • So I got some angst inspo and this is what came out of it! Thanks to @etalice for alphaing! She did an amazing job! And thanks to my drarry squad for screaming encouragement too! This is now 3.2k long but screw it, that’s what cuts are for!

    TW: DEPRESSION, SELF-HATRED, DISSOCIATION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS,  SELF-NEGLECT

    “I’m proud of you…”

    They were words he’d always craved hearing. Words he’d heard so often as a young child. When he’d been able to recite the family motto. When he’d mastered both English and French. When he’d corrected his friends on details about blood status. When he got into Slytherin at Hogwarts. Each time, the rare, thrilling glint would shimmer in his father’s eyes and a warm glow would bloom in Draco’s chest. 

    “I’m proud of you…” 

    Of course, as he grew up, those words were uttered less frequently. There was Granger overshadowing him, top of the class in every subject. A Mudblood. There was his inability to dabble in politics as his father had; by the age of 13, Lucius had already established a network of contacts; all Draco had was a broken nose. And then there was the small task of serving the Dark Lord in the place of his father, proving his devotion and worth to the cause with an impossible task. 

    “I’m proud of you…” 

    No parents thought to say that they were proud of you when they were too busy praying for their lives to be spared—not even when you’d signed your own death sentence with a grotesque, burning tattoo on your arm just to save them. Not that becoming one of them was anything to be proud of—no Death Eater deserved to have someone be proud of them.

    “I’m proud of you…”

    Still, he tried in Eighth Year. He tried to keep up with the syllabus, to keep his grades up, to change his views, his actions and words, hoping that someone, anyone would notice. Would hate him less. Would consider him worthy of being left alone. Would give him a reason to keep that tiny flicker of hope alive. For what was there left to fight for, but that ever wavering, ever weakening, glimmer of hope?

    But every day was harder. Every curse at his back more painful. Every homework assignment more difficult to concentrate on. Every mouthful of food more tasteless. Every night more sleepless. Every memory of those four little words more distant. More unattainable. 

    “I’m proud of you…”

    Before he knew it, he couldn’t leave his bed before noon, if at all. Couldn’t shower. Couldn’t face food. Couldn’t even look at the ever-growing stack of homework that was deposited next to his bed by the house elves and classmates tasked with delivering his work to him. Before he knew it, he was curse free. Not because people had stopped hexing him, but because he hadn’t left the dorm in over a week. Before he knew it, he was a skeleton, too weak to stand for long, and too exhausted to care. 

    “I’m proud of you…”

    No one cared. Not one professor queried him about his absence. Not one dorm-mate stopped over—not that he expected them to. Not one whisper was uttered about him. 

    And that was fine. 

    He didn’t deserve anyone. He didn’t deserve anything. He barely deserved the blankets that kept him from freezing. There were times when he woke up screaming, tangled in them, and he was thankful for the fact that they were suffocating him. He deserved every ounce of pain he felt. 

    “I’m proud of you…”

    When, after so long neglecting himself, he could barely stand, barely move without feeling dizzy, and was ravaged by cramps of hunger so harsh he doubled over in pain and nearly retched, he didn’t even think to change anything. He simply carried on sleeping and dissociating, ignoring his body’s cries, only leaving his bed when his bladder control threatened to fail—though what his body could be expelling, he had no idea. 

    It was during one of those all too frequent, inescapable moments when he had to use the toilet—which only ever served to painfully remind him of the fact that he was still alive, somehow, unfortunately—when it happened.

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    #drarry#aprilwrites#my writing#depression tw #tw: suicidal thoughts #dissociation#self-hatred#self-neglect #well this was fun to write #thanks again to Etalice! #drarry squad #draco x harry #harry x draco
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  • I feel like crap today :(

    I don’t want to eat. I feel so fat. I’m bound to gain weight if I keep eating. I’m so scared. I don’t want to get fat. Food makes me nauseous, but I can’t quit it. Why is it so difficult to deal with this? Why does my brain insist on thinking and thinking AND THINKING? I just want to die already. I hate myself.

    Who’s ever gonna love me? I’m disgusting.

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    Self-Hatred ⤑ Learning to Forgive

    “Because this isn’t about me. This is about you. Not gonna let you use me as an excuse to avoid dealing with what is behind all of this. 

    You always talk about how much you hate being blamed for humanity’s sins. You know, ‘The Devil made me do it’. And I think I know why you hate it so much, because deep down, you blame yourself just as much… if not more. You have to stop taking responsibility for things you can’t control. Lucifer… you need to forgive yourself.”

    #Lucifer#Lucifer Morningstar#Chloe Decker #detective chloe decker #lucifer x chloe #save lucifer #Lucifer season 4 #self-hatred #Lucifer + self-hatred #learning to forgive #Lucifer learning to forgive #gifset#my gifset#gifs#tom ellis#lauren german
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