#serene Tumblr posts

  • #music#serene #this is god tier as always
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  • Haunted

    Prologue - Let’s meet again

    —–

    5-7-15


    I woke up to the soft, tranquil sound of the clock and the honey like glow of the sun through my apartment window. I turned my head and soaked in the image I saw everyday, but could never take the time to observe.

    Something felt like it clicked inside of me. Something small,yet something that caused the gears to turn a newer and more better way.


    The morning was tranquil, with the sweet chirping of birds on my windowsill, singing a lovely song I used to consider chatter. they’re of a serene color, a lovely little baby blue. Their little beady eyes reminded me of little marbles,reflecting the sun in a small orb. the trees they sat upon rustled softly with beautiful,vibrant greens. the wood was seemingly old and scrunched up, but did not affect the extravagant glow it gave off.


    I sat up slowly, keeping my mind empty and soaking in my surroundings like a sponge. my bed was warm and felt like a small cocoon. My cat,Munko, sat beside me, curled up into a small ball of purring fur. She was warmer than the bed.


    I decided not to disturb her and slowly got off the bed. As soon as my feet made contact with the cold tile floor, it sent a small ball of comfort. like heat slowly rising up your legs. This one day felt like home more than the years I’ve ever spent trying to recollect myself and move on in this apartment.


    I took in a deep breath and walked towards the door, taking note of how organized everything was, despite being quite messy back in college.


    It felt very different.


    I twisted the door knob open, and uninterestedly walked towards the kitchen, like my muscle memory had taken over. 



    All the pans and pots were in their places,spotless and shining. The curtains were blowing gently with the flow of the morning breeze. I might’ve left the window open. I stood there for a few minutes, thinking back on the events that transpired last night, but my mind was too cloudy. 


    I reached up for a cup and filled it up with water, gulping it down before it even filled halfway. My throat felt better and like the air could easily through now. A few stray droplets trickled down the cup.


    I looked around more. Everything was too familiar and brought back a pang of nostalgia,the best and worst feeling I’ve ever felt,seen and heard of. 


    I looked at the plain calendar that hung in the corner. It started back at me, marking that it was the fifth day in July,2015. A mixed feeling of contentment and comfort swirled within me like warm waters. It’s been 3 years since then, and I feel numb. 


    Something warm tickles my face as it moves down. I move to touch it and realise it’s not any new feeling.


    Its salty. Filled with regret,sweet sorrow and lost memories.


    More tiny droplets fall down my face, like a little sparrow escaping its cage it was holed up in.


    I stood there, despondent.


    4-7-15


    I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried. Something in the corner of my mind tugged hard at me, and distracted me from doing anything. Like I forgot something important, and I had to remember it like my life depended on it. That will only got more curious progressively as the day went on. I couldn’t focus on my job, on talking, on eating or anything. It held me back from sleeping.


    I was missing something important. But I don’t know what.


    She’d been gone for 5 years. And since then, I’ve felt a hole I couldn’t fill no matter how hard I tried, like an empty keyhole that lost its key years ago. There was no hope for me anymore. Even I didn’t have hope for myself. 


    The rain wasn’t forgiving that night either, coming down at full force. The droplets glistened like glycerin in the haunting moonlight. Sometimes thunder would accompany so. 


    I’ve always liked the rain for some reason. It gives me a reason to think, a reason to smile and a reason to find something missing from me. The rain always felt like home, its sweet scent enveloping me in a fragile, cloudy dream that would always return to me at some point. There was a connection with the rain I could never describe. Like the rain would comfort me at my worse and make my dreams slightly more bearable. I’ve had weird dreams the days it would rain. By weird, I mean fascinating.


    I remember every detail word for word. There would be soft clouds I would sit upon with the hold of an angel’s touch. Sometimes it would interfere me from seeing something beyond it, sometimes it would urge me to step off the little encasing and look around. The sky would stretch across infinitely, vibrant hues of blues,indigo and purples. The sun would always be in the middle of rising or setting, I could never figure out. The air would be cold, but it would make my lungs feel like its sucking in nothing because of how soft the air was. Little cloud footsteps would follow me whenever I walked, mocking that of a child in a playground, or snow. Time would always be infinite, no worrying about whatever would happen below, or what was going on.


    There were times where there were mysterious figures, looking back at me from my encasing. Although, I could never confirm if it was the mist or something I used to think.


    A particularly loud thunder cracked across the sky, like it was tearing the clouds apart. I flinched at the sound, never really liking the thunder as much. Sometimes it wouldn’t even rain, just grey clouds with the intention of lightning. They always felt like they had their dreams sucked out of them, a lifeless,hollow husk of a child’s dream that shatters as it grows up.


    But my fatigue takes over anyway, not caring to the harsh winds outside and the pelting of raindrops.


    -

    This dream wasn’t like it was supposed to be. Some things are off. It makes me feel unsafe.


    The encasing I would always wound up in watch more open this time, with the heavy mist covering the great views of the dream. There was no sky anymore, just mist. My lungs felt heavy at this sight. The air was harder to breathe and some thick chunks of clouds would impede in my path towards an unknown destination. 


    I saw a mysterious figure in the distance, silent and looking around, like a child in an extravagant ballroom. They seemed confused. But they finally turned around, facing me from a distance. The heavy mist was slowly vanishing, but it was still covering a thick chunks of the figure, like the face, their middle torso and their right ankle.


    I kept my distance, but my heart longed to know who this unknown character was. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, because I couldn’t hear myself. It was like my voice fizzled out. I couldn’t keep myself calm,my heartbeat steadily rising and my fears making out the figure instead for my eyes. I was scared of my own dreams. I couldn’t stop trying to talk, I screamed, I tried to whisper but nothing made my voice come out, I couldn’t stop panicking until-


    -until they laughed.


    It was a woman, a girl in fact, judging from the pitch of her voice. It was smooth and sweet, like cotton candy. I didn’t realise that the mist had almost faded away, beautiful blue skies coming into the view instead of the diverse indigos and purples. There was no sun in sight.


    The girl wasn’t just any girl.


    It was her, from 3 years ago.


    The void that left me empty with a grievance.


    She looked just like she did any other day back in college. Her hair tied back to a firm ponytail, her eyes strong and unwavering, but had the contrast softness of sympathy and understanding. Her hands folded in front of her. The signature maroon acrylic sweater made her features more contrasting. Her smile never faltering from that stupid grin she’d always have after defeating me in a batte of teasing.


    She asked me,

    “Hey there, you little Peony. Missed me?”

    .

    My knees weakened as my hands started shaking. That horrid image of her lifeless corpse flashed like a brief warning in my eyes telling me this wouldn’t be real in any logical sense. She was dead, I saw her corpse! She couldn’t be alive either way. My brain racked against my skull for a logical answer.


    Even if it was a dream, I wanted it to be real.


    She looked at me sadly, but her smile never faltered as much. 


    “Its been long, hasn’t it?”


    I stopped whatever my brain was trying to sum up, at this point. I focused on her words.


    “I’m not alive, actually. I mean,you should’ve probably figured that out, but you seemed confused.”


    I replied, feeling like my voice finally returned to me,“then if you’re dead,what are you?”


    She laughed a bit,“didn’t even try to censor the word ‘dead’ did you?”


    She took in a deep breath and sighed. “Its me, Enko. I’m not sure myself, actually. I think I’m a ghost. I’ve been wanting to talk to you in these dreams, but I never really had the courage to.”


    I thought a bit. And my head started asking more questions.

     "Aren’t ghosts supposed to be in the afterlife? Or Heaven? Or Hell? Is there a reason why you’ve been appearing as an apparition?“


    Her sad look disappeared for a bit as she thought about it. She said,"dummy, if you knew about ghosts or apparitions, you’d know I’m here for my undying wish.”


    Oh,right. I used to think that was just fiction. Ghosts or Apparitions have an undying wish they sometimes need to complete, before they can peacefully rest. These undying wishes are sometimes completed with the help of other people closely connected with the deceased significant in question.


    “I want you to move on from me.”

    -

    “Enko? Is that really your undying wish?”


    She had an empathetic look on her face, knowing what trouble she would be getting into.


    “Of course I do. There’s nothing I want from this world than for you to move on from me.”


    I remember how deep we were in love. Almost everyday never went by a loving remark about each other. We understood each other’s feelings just by looking deep into each other’s eyes. Everyone knew how close we were, despite not showing any public affection on the college campus. They’d always pass remarks around us. Some would comment how caring I was towards her despite having my own needs and being a guy. I never understood the point of my gender, but nevertheless, I couldn’t care enough. Some would compliment her on her boldness, and how contrasting we were. 


    Everyone knew how heartbroken I was, when I saw her lifeless corpse in front of that god forsaken car.


    Her best friend murdered her.


    I couldn’t sleep any nights, I could never focus on basic tasks, I couldn’t even look her her pictures without breaking down. I couldn’t attend her funeral,no matter how hard I tried.


    I never grieved for her properly, and I could never move on. I still carried the sorrow with me, 3 years from then.

    -

    Even if I couldn’t,I wanted to try. I want her to rest peacefully.


     I want to complete her undying wish.


    She smiled brightly, as I heard a loud buzz that sounded quite familiar interfering with my dream.


    And I woke up.

    -

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  • - found on pinterest

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    Always chase waterfalls 💕

    #blonde girl #girls that lift #serene #girls with tattoos #backpacking#camping #girls that hike #granola
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  • I’ve been working on something because I was bored hhhhh

    Haunted

    —–

    5-7-15


    I woke up to the soft, tranquil sound of the clock and the honey like glow of the sun through my apartment window. I turned my head and soaked in the image I saw everyday, but could never take the time to observe.

    Something felt like it clicked inside of me. Something small,yet something that caused the gears to turn a newer and more better way.


    The morning was tranquil, with the sweet chirping of birds on my windowsill, singing a lovely song I used to consider chatter. they’re of a serene color, a lovely little baby blue. Their little beady eyes reminded me of little marbles,reflecting the sun in a small orb. the trees they sat upon rustled softly with beautiful,vibrant greens. the wood was seemingly old and scrunched up, but did not affect the extravagant glow it gave off.


    I sat up slowly, keeping my mind empty and soaking in my surroundings like a sponge. my bed was warm and felt like a small cocoon. My cat,Munko, sat beside me, curled up into a small ball of purring fur. She was warmer than the bed.


    I decided not to disturb her and slowly got off the bed. As soon as my feet made contact with the cold tile floor, it sent a small ball of comfort. like heat slowly rising up your legs. This one day felt like home more than the years I’ve ever spent trying to recollect myself and move on in this apartment.


    I took in a deep breath and walked towards the door, taking note of how organized everything was, despite being quite messy back in college.


    It felt very different.


    I twisted the door knob open, and uninterestedly walked towards the kitchen, like my muscle memory had taken over. 



    All the pans and pots were in their places,spotless and shining. The curtains were blowing gently with the flow of the morning breeze. I might’ve left the window open. I stood there for a few minutes, thinking back on the events that transpired last night, but my mind was too cloudy. 


    I reached up for a cup and filled it up with water, gulping it down before it even filled halfway. My throat felt better and like the air could easily through now. A few stray droplets trickled down the cup.


    I looked around more. Everything was too familiar and brought back a pang of nostalgia,the best and worst feeling I’ve ever felt,seen and heard of. 


    I looked at the plain calendar that hung in the corner. It started back at me, marking that it was the fifth day in July,2015. A mixed feeling of contentment and comfort swirled within me like warm waters. It’s been 5 years since then, and I feel numb. 


    Something warm tickles my face as it moves down. I move to touch it and realise it’s not any new feeling.


    Its salty. Filled with regret,sweet sorrow and lost memories.


    More tiny droplets fall down my face, like a little sparrow escaping its cage it was holed up in.


    I stood there, despondent.


    4-7-15


    I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried. Something in the corner of my mind tugged hard at me, and distracted me from doing anything. Like I forgot something important, and I had to remember it like my life depended on it. That will only got more curious progressively as the day went on. I couldn’t focus on my job, on talking, on eating or anything. It held me back from sleeping.


    I was missing something important. But I don’t know what.

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  • i want to talk about expressionism with my soulmate, as the night gets darker and the stars feel closer.

    is that too much to ask for?

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