For one moment, I thought you love me. #swimsuits #sex #girlswimwear
（在 Dongcheng Dist., Dongguan City, Guangdong Prov., China）
https://www.instagram.com/p/CCVXPdGH5bT/?igshid=161hcgny5hjbl0Why (for most guys my age/men in general) is sex the only thing that proves your affection/love for him?
There are so many other ways one can show affection but why is it that it comes down to how often you have sex with him? What does that prove?
As a teen I thought this (sex/physical intimacy) was the only way that I could prove that I’m into him but now at this stage I’m looking for companionship - someone I can have a conversation with about anything & everything, someone that’s fine with sitting quietly in a room doing our own things but also someone you’d make an effort for, someone you remember little things about so on and so forth. Is there no other way besides sex that I can prove that I’m into you, like I’d rather you tell me about your insecurities, so I know what to not roast you about.
For the love of God it’d just be a refreshing change to meet a guy my age/around my age who’d like to actually have a conversation, who’d like to know why I am the way I am (vice versa).
I don’t really care about fancy dinner dates, huge bouquets of flowers, jewellery/ expensive gifts because (and I know it sounds pretentious) but
a) I’ve grown up in privilege
b) If I wanted those things I’d buy them myself - I mean yes the occasional bouquet of flowers on a random day would be heart-warming but I’d rather have you make me a tea/ do the dishes or better yet,
1) allow me to be me without trying to control/change me/make me feel bad about myself,
2) respect my ambitions,
3) let me be in my creative space (no I’m not Picasso but still).
These are things that I’d do for the other without thinking twice about it and it’s the basic things I’d like in a relationship besides the mutual understanding/awareness that whatever happens the other will always be there as that would make me feel safe and secure hence allowing me to be myself around you & vice versa.
Back to the point: is sex everything?
Yes, I know you’d prob want kids - so do I but do we have to focus only that?
Why can’t we continue to develop & get to know ourselves + each other & together reach a stage where we’re not only financially stable enough to bear kids but also just sure of ourselves? Thus allowing us to raise our kids in a stable environment in more than one way.
I put a lot of emphasis on this because I don’t want my offspring to deal with my baggage - many a time I’ve used this as an excuse to not indulge in a relationship: ‘I’m working/focusing on myself so I can’t be in a relationship..etc’ but I’ve realized that one never really fully stops healing (at least I think so).
I’m (thankfully) not where I was last year but there’s still a lot of work to do so when it comes to a r/ship I need the s/o to understand that there’s shit I’m dealing w just as he (probably) has as well thus I need space to deal with that so our kids don’t have to deal with.
Is it not possible to indulge in a relationship without sex as a 'proving factor’?
Is it possible to genuinely be friends and lovers? I just feel like sex would be better that way? You’d be more comfortable with each other - at least you know each other before you enter the other.
Some may respond with: 'you’re basically talking about an arranged marriage’, you could look at it that way but what do you really think the couple is talking about? I doubt they’re asking each other what they’re favourite colour is
Don’t even know what my point is anymore but this has been weighing on my mind for a while.
0Watching the trilogy of 50 shades as a single lady that hasn’t had a sexual intercourse for month it’s an incredibly trumatic event.
I highly and strongly recommend it.
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“But you taste best you when you’re in full bloom
Lay in in my teeth
My sweet love trophy
You can’t be killed if I rip from the roots
Take it with grace
I’m dumb and I chase
I’m young and I’ll waste you away
I’m young and I’ll waste you away
I’m young and I’ll waste you away
I’m young and I’ll waste you away”3
