sonic doodles! hyeah!!!

Sketches during class :))) , and practicing coloring

(translation : You’re the handsome one over there , why are you frowning? Come and look at me ) , its a lyric from Coconut - project pop haha 😅 and hope I translate it right

The Card of the Day from True Heart Intuitive Tarot for Friday, April 16, is The Emperor. The Emperor stands in front of a halo of golden rays of sun. He wears a crown of gold and crimson, a doublet, and a cloak, and he carries in his right hand a golden ankh and in his left a globe (the moon?) with a red eye on it. His cloak has a ram's head on each shoulder. It is then royal blue until it reaches about his hips, where we see silhouettes of buildings in a deeper blue, the city(ies) he rules. Below this is golden sand, like the desert. Gold and red are used to add ornaments to his clothing. He has gray hair, and he looks seasoned but not old. (Heh. He's probably about 50, like me.)

The Emperor is a figure of authority; he's all about laws and rules and structure. He is assertive and smart, and he is nobody's doormat. Unless, of course, you are on his shadow side, which can go one of two ways. His shadow can be expressed as an opposite of these qualities, in which case there's an opportunity to stand up for yourself with appropriate assertiveness and gain control of the situation. Or his shadow could be taking his traits to an unhealthy level, being overly rigid or judgmental, showing defensive or controlling behavior, trying to cover up some Imposter Syndrome.

I have mixed reactions to The Emperor. I can be overly accommodating, and I am prone to Imposter Syndrome. Right now one of my two big assignments relates to drafting a whole mess of process and procedure documents. I'm very much a process-driven worker, and I can have a vision for how everything could work smoothly and perfectly if only everybody could just see what's inside my head. This definitely had a dark side I had a manager once say that this is a great gift, but that I can feel offended when the world (and the people!) don't match this vision. So yeah, that's when the Shadow Emperor comes out to play, telling everyone what they're doing wrong, hurting their feelings and pissing them off, and protesting that I'm only doing what the processes say we should do. I've definitely been watching for the Shadow Emperor so that I don't fall into these same patterns again.

How do you find the Emperor (or the Shadow Emperor) in your own life?

Crossbeams, Leamington Spa | March 2021

via :

https://raphaelkadid.com/Espelma

complete aesthetic

My middle finger salutes you.

“Everybody tries to be straight

but things are still unchanged”

© Henri Coudoux

“Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?”

oh man, this scene hits way harder after the finale. 

leading up to it, Dean is so obviously upset about learning Sam thought he was just baggage, but that’s a big feeling so let’s not talk about it, let’s instead aggressively push Sam at Meg, go be with her if being with me is so hard, get a girl and a normal life what do i care. it feels like Dean’s almost trying to push Sam away, like it’s a test or a way for him to regain control over something as scary as the thought of Sam really not wanting to be with him

and then Sam comes out and confirms it: he wants to quit hunting, to go back to school, and Dean’s scotch-taped veneer of i don’t care comes tumbling down. all of a sudden he’s pulling his chest open and his heart is right there, bleeding onto the motel room carpet

SAM: But things will never be the way they were before. DEAN: Could be. SAM: I don’t want them to be.

might as well rip that heart out and stomp on it, Sam

it’s interesting that Sam is still clinging onto the idea that he wants out, that he wants normal, that he wants a life that is not wrapped up in his brother. i think he only half believes what he’s saying, and that maybe he doesn’t let himself examine the real reasons too closely, but that he at this point recognizes how unhealthy and dangerous his relationship with Dean is and knows that every day more spent with Dean on the road makes it that much harder to get out. i don’t know if Sam really wants to get out, it might be more just lingering resentment from his teenage years mixed with the ideas of normalcy he’s picked up at college, a stubborn but wavering conviction that he should want something other than this weird fucked up hunter life and the weird fucked up obsessive codependent thing he has with his brother

Phoenix Fire Spell: Lovers to Friends

Explanation:

Following the days after a break up (this really only works with a clean healthy break otherwise you have a lot to work on before performing this. My Phoenix fire spell requires a peaceful mind.) If you and your partner have established your boundaries (it’s healthy to have time and distance away from your person. It will give you both time to heal. So you can come together in a healthy way.) And when you are ready to finally let go of them. Perform this spell to ensure that you will be able to develop into close friends in the future.

Items:

3 candles (1tea light candle and 2 chime candles) (one to represent you/them/and one that represents you together)

string

bowl

rain water

music that reminds you of them

The other person’s consent to friendship

fire

fire safe surface to burn on

cleansing incense

Paper to write on and a pen

Instructions:

Part 1: (Cutting ties)

On a full moon, gather together two chime candles. One that best represents you. One that represents your ex partner. Tie a string between the two and listen to music that reminds you of them. Be it a song you liked together or a genre that they liked, or a song you like that makes you feel the way you felt with them. On a fire safe surface, place your two candles tied with a string between them. Light each candle and begin to write down all of the emotions that come to mind about that person. Negative or positive. Take this time to listen to the music. Cry if you need to. Feel the emotions. But also focus on what these emotions can do for you. Rather than “why is this happening to me?” think “How is this happening for me? How is this what I needed? How will this split from this person empower me?” Focus on your breathing during this. Your breath is what guides you into and out of your body. Be grounded, if you disassociate from sadness, use your breath to feel your way back to your body. Use your mouth as a portal. Take the paper and burn it beside the candles. (ON A FIRE SAFE SURFACE)

Once the candle burns, and the string it burnt between the candles. Say into the universe your ex partner’s name “____ I release you”

(Please please be careful with the ritual above as it requires a healthy amount of emotional intelligence, and a clear mind. This exercise, done in the wrong way, can spark mental health breaks if you are not ready to face your own shadows. Relationships ending is due to two people not just one. And please remember that everyone we love will say goodbye to us one day. By either dying or leaving us. The death of a relationship is not the end. But you need a healthy relationship with those feelings before doing this next step)

Step 2: (lasting friends)

After completing the step above grab your tea light candle that represents your new friendship together (you MUST have consent for a future friendship for this part to be healthy. Taking someone’s free will in this spell will cause karmic backfire) Place it in a cleansed bowl of rain water and light it. Play music that brings you peace and meditate on what you want that healthy future relationship to look like. Write down these thoughts and feelings on paper. DO NOT attach any desire to get back together with this person. Or any other romantic feelings. If romance returns down the road that is so wonderful, but once again this spell will backfire without the consent of your ex partner.

Fold your paper up and use the wax from your melting tea light to seal the paper shut. (I suggest tongs to pick it up) And then completely submerge the candle in the rain water and say:

“These new foundations bind us as friends. And leave us open to new opportunities together.”

Dispose of the candle, and pour the rain water out (you can take an extra step and give the water to a plant that you love as this energy will be very harmonious.)

Keep the paper with the wax seal close to you. On your alter, on your person, or somewhere generally safe where you won’t forget it.

Every full moon manifest the friendship and refresh the spell by holding the paper and saying

“My ties to ___ are unbroken. My love for ___ is unbroken. If friendship is for us I manifest it now.”

Always remember actions are just as important as spells. The universe will only give you what you manifest. If you are willing to do the work. This spell takes a lot of understanding of your own shadow work. So please be very careful. And as always, I hope my spell can bring you peace and healing.