#shitpost Tumblr posts

More tales from abiguous language class: today he taught us the sign for LGBT. Except there was one problem.

Now listen, LGBTQ is I guess aight. It’s pushing it, but sure. Have your Q. But ohoho, he didn’t stop there. We’ve got LGBTQIAPN, yes? But no. That’s not it. We’ve got LGBTQIP2SAN+. That was the order, if I’m remembering right. I’m probably not. But those were all the letters.

I wish I could say I remained calm but I know with full certainty my teacher saw the way my jaw continued to drop in absolute horror and disbelief as he Kept. On. Typing.

I never, in my wildest nightmares, could have imagined this future. I feel like I have ascended to a new level of humanity, one full of unfathomable possibilities.

Are they good possibilities?

Do I wish I could return to the mortal plane?

I must meditate on this. I must ground my spirit in this newfound world.

Wish me luck.

aReA 51 RaiD iS tOMoROoW pEoPLEs 

AU WHERE KIRK JOINS THE AREA 51 RAID AND FINDS SPOCK.

It be like that tho

you weren’t BORN gay, you CHOSE to read the harry potter series in fourth grade and make bellatrix lestrange your favorite villain and now youre a lesbian

Brian in this picture is me when I have to wake up at 7:30 in the morning

Sola en ksa (AHre k siempre estoy sola qwq)

Viendo “son como niños2”

You’ve been hit by

Smooth Criminal

• old mcsm fans: mcsm fandom is dead i'm miss mcsm so much.....
• mcsm fandom: STOP TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD!
• old mcsm fans: sometimes i can still hear its voice.......

Harry: *looking exactly EXACTLY like his father*

Remus: Omg Harry, I recognized you immediately!! You have your mother’s eyes :)

James, in the other life: What the fuck mate, I made a copy of me and Lily just gave him her eyes?? Why am I even your friend?

“Dear my Love,

You light up my world and bring joy to my everything,

Every moment with you is like a new, fresh Spring,

With a smile so bright, it could light up the night,

You make me happy knowing that you’re so light.

Knocking you around with my hips as big as a whale,

I’m happy it was you that fed me day after day, making sure I was full, without fail.~

You get me excited and make my heart soar,

And I’m sure I do the same to you, when my belches sound like a roar,

When I roll over onto you in my sleep,

Packing you in flab so deep you’d think you were crushed by a heavy sheep.~

I’m so glad that I have you to keep.

If I didn’t have you, I think I would always weep,

I smile and think to myself,

“I’m glad I was with you when I ruined my health.~”

Knowing I’m so much bigger than you but still have to lean against you and look up,

Leaning up against you like a little pup,

I feel a large spark in my heart,

and I hope that we’ll never be apart.

You being around me always fills me with glee,

Knowing that you’re the one who wants to be here with me when I’m hungry, not wanting to flee.~

So while you help make me the girl with the biggest gut,

I’ll make sure to tease you and let you play with the world’s biggest butt.~

So, before we decide which buffet to hit,

I want to make sure that you get some time to play with the butt that doesn’t quit.~

Your blubbery beloved,

Hana <3″

Do.. do people not in the US realize that we do, infact, have a measuring system..? Like they think we measure things in other things?? Like “aw yeah you should have seen it, it was like two microwaves long”

What

1. Pain from making out in a bad posture for too long
2. Your lover’s hair trying to attack your face
3. You’re all cute and romantic until someone makes a bad joke and giggle (but that’s alright)
4. Interrupting the kiss TO REMOVE HAIR

Eddie: Let’s take off our shirts and kiss!

Richie:

Is England sad because every other country has a birth/indepence day and he doesn’t? America runs around with fireworks and he just sits with his imaginary friends

Area 51 is tomorrow and i am ready for the aliens