#short jokes Tumblr posts

  • sephet
    22.09.2021 - 2 hours ago

    looking at the original RP I did with Kyle getting kidnapped and realising exactly how few survival instincts this stupid bitch has (cw for reference to sexual assault in a flippant manner)

    “Hey man, only one of us had a choice in that situation and you’re the one who decided to stick his dick in my mouth. Call me unlovable but at least I don’t gotta resort to roofie powers to get laid.”

    “Make any progress with my ransom? Or are you just hoping I’ll get more appealing to people the longer I sit alone in a wine cellar? Like I met them on the internet, maybe you hang out with a different crowd, but most people don’t buy dirty cellar people on the internet.”

    “Kay like I can’t cry on cue but like. Come at me with pliers I’ll find a way to get your mask off before your drugs kick in swear to fucking God.” He scoots back a little bit more looking clearly unsettled and kind of scared. “Like neither of us will like what the situation will turn into. I mean honestly do you want to deal with blood and screaming? Like you really strike me as the kind of guy who finds that more of a hassle than it’s worth.” 

    It has been too long since I RP’d him I almost took out his most important character feature: openly antagonistic to people he dislikes whether he wants to or not. Other notable events include causing a minor allergic reaction on a person’s hand to make it itchy because his friend seemed uncomfortable to be talking to them, and reacting to a violent home invasion like a minor annoyance he could sarcasm his way out of.

    I have the absolutely stupidest characters. And they all talk too much to pretend otherwise @_@;;;

    #kyle jameson #not my best writing I was going for a more natural approach #kyle is a character who has had so much shit happen in his short 20-something years that only half registers anymore #we often joked that his real super power was bad luck and that the skin thing was totally unrelated #like he was also. for other people. a huge pushover but in situations where he was in mortal peril he just insulted it #it's really not great to be a character I project exaggerated forms of my own feelings onto because it usually means exaggerated trauma too #sorry every oc i ever had
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  • cutie--q
    22.09.2021 - 2 hours ago

    getting season 2 of anim//aniacs soon is both a blessing and a curse

    #liz rambles #tbh i… don’t really like the reboot that much lol #like there ARE some good moments/shorts but it’s so rare for me #like i’d rather take the celebrity jokes i don’t understand from the original than the mean spirited gross out humor of the new one :/
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  • baltoslav
    21.09.2021 - 18 hours ago

    i think a lot of western people online have what i call Lukas Arnold syndrome where they imagine they are the funniest people ever, are beyond anything because they will always "clap back", "drag it", while just being absurdist and random (it rwminds me of thd "SPOONS lol im so random xD" and "your* is the total argument destroyer. i cant be accused and apologize for my actions if they spell that wrong" phases of internet) and speak in this slow-fast rythmic tone, stressing worda unsescessarilly, shoeing none emotion except a 'im holding in my laugh, i am so cool and smug and nonchalant' grimace. and so on. a lot of it comes from trying to sound like netflix comedians (who arent actually comedians but just make up absurd metaphors to explain Common Situstions) like John Mullaney. And another lot lot of it comes from trying to be cooler than actually being by poorly immitating and mocking AAVE because they saw TV people like Jesse Pinkman be "extremelly cool" while saying "yo" and "gonna".

    #i think internet would be cooler if you all got over yourselves #eugh i cant explain it but the type of youtube shorts comedy joke collections or whatever the fuck Lukas Arnold does #it really is insane to look at his stuff and see how he thinks he is so funny for saying 'goodbye' after an anti- #anti-joke*... like he speaks verbally like how all of twotter and tiktok type
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  • newbloggycat
    21.09.2021 - 22 hours ago

    Joke of the day - Row

    Joke of the day – Row

    “Row, row, row your goat, gently down the stream…” https://www.pinterest.com

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  • the-mighty-sorceress
    21.09.2021 - 23 hours ago

    The joke OC I’m making is actually going along pretty well, I’m only currently stuck on a journey of having never drawn a lot of the things I want in her design

    #OC #okay to reblog #I guess? #I've never done super short hair or noticeable cheekbones in my style before. So it's interesting to learn how to do that #obviously the references I'm using are helping a lot #it's a joke OC but I'm surprisingly invested #I want somebody else to draw her lmao but that's not going to happen if I don't put in the work to show what she looks like #this is a positive post btw. It might sound like I'm annoyed but I'm keeping a good outlook on stuff I previously couldn't do
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  • theplaguekilledmany
    21.09.2021 - 1 day ago

    had i known i was going to wind up moving across the country to a place i am incredibly allergic to, perhaps i wouldn’t have gotten so many nose piercings... that’s absolutely not true at all, i love them, but still. they’re kind of annoying sometimes when you have your 100th sinus infection of the year and are trying to blow your nose and nose, like, shoot a nose ring down the sink, ya know? also i have another sinus infection. it never ends...

    #personal #i get these awful long term low grade migraines with sinus infections #i mean i don't know if they technically count as migraines #but they function quite similarly in terms of making screentime very uncomfortable even though i just want to lie down and watch stuff #but the entire inside of my skull hurts #and my teeth hurt #and i can't not smell mucus #and my insomnia is also terrible still #so i am just #like #a grumpy little troll person lately #correction: a depressed grumpy troll person #im not really little #although my bf has a running joke where he insists on calling me short #i don't really get it #but i don't think he does either?
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  • critical-role-over-and-die
    21.09.2021 - 1 day ago

    murph, forever dm on naddpod, finally getting to play a pc: r a t

    #kugrash#cody walsh#riz gukgak#jens lyndelle #this was initially going to be a joke about how kugrash is a literal rat #but all of his pcs are very rat-like #even jens#especially jens#naddpod#trinyvale#dimension 20#d20 #s1 unsleeping city: literal rat #s2: figurative rat #i just remembered mac and i think he also deserves the spotlight here #not the most ratlike but has many of the qualities #hes short and feisty #kind of a trash creature #trash creature (complimentary) #hot boy summer #brian murphy #mac son of mumford #mac (naddpod)
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  • lowqualityhomestuckedits
    21.09.2021 - 1 day ago
    #not an edit #anonymous #short version: they all stand for an inside joke
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  • pastpassages
    20.09.2021 - 1 day ago

    Lord grant me the patience not to actively wade into debates I know would make me feel horrible

    #this is re the tr*ns men cant make t**f jokes post. i honestly think that it's iffy for tr*ns men to make jokes but i dug into the notes #and op thinks tr*ns men arent oppressed by t**fs. their reasoning imho does not hold up #long story short i dont think the way t**fs treat tr*ns men and tr*ns women are the same but that also doesn't mean that bc different forms #of oppression mean one of them is not oppression #was phyllis schlafly working with misogynists etc to roll back the rights of women shitty and misogynistic among other things? yes! #does that mean women arent oppressed by men? no! #all the asterisks are bc i do not wajt this post to show up in tags but idk the most effective way to avoid that so. i did this #genuinely if you follow me n stuff and want to dm me and talk about this im down but i do not want to argue w people i dont know about this
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  • dahlwatchesmiraculous
    20.09.2021 - 1 day ago

    here have some messy school uniform designs for my magic school au !!

    #miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanfic#adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous au#miraculous fanart #Adrien’s not actually a model in the fic so we can forgive him (me) that his poses are all the same here lol #and yes that IS a sports uniform bc what kind of magic school au would it be without a magical sport??? #also had to keep Adrien’s horrendous orange shoes as a joke lol #I’m also obsessed with Mari wearing short overalls sue me #my art #drawing these characters consistently?? sorry we don’t do that here #one day maybe lol
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  • amtouchedwithfire
    20.09.2021 - 1 day ago

    Long story short;

    SHE has been fruity the whole damned time.

    #sapphic jokes#sapphos business#sapphos matters#sapphic lifestyle#sapphic lyrics#taylor swift #taylor swift is fruity #long story short #there i fixed it #it was not about a matter of the wrong guy #or the wrong time you know? #gaylor swift
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  • dunmeshi
    20.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    also I'm not very far in but the manga school zone girls is so cute so far

    #idk the mangakas name but they put so much personality in to each characters design and body language #(its a comedy yuri manga with short chapters and. except for one inc*st joke which ive been heavily assured becomes something well handled. #its been a lighthearted romp for the first 20 chapters!) #the aforementioned tho is enough of for me to not be fully 'oh check this out!' tho. maybe watch hazel's vid for more info? idk
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  • heichoe
    20.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    the single, greatest distinguishing factor between the miya twins is: atsumu would not give flying fuck if you used his toothbrush, while osamu would take away your free onigiri privileges if you did.

    #yall i cut my shower short just to post this #change my mind ☕️ #(u cant <3) #tsumu would be like ‘babe my d¡ck has been inside u what difference does a toothbrush make?’ #samu would give u the silent treatment for like an hour #not really mad but he’d definitely invest in a mother toothbrush #< ​another* #lowkey turns it into a running joke and writes his name on all his stuff w a sharpie like he used to when he was younger w atsumu #miya twins#hq brainrot
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  • airhere
    19.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    cringe is dead. fuck cringe culture. imma read sans x reader fan fics on Ao3

    #just... he's the ideal bf. smart #short#chubby #and likes bad jokes
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  • panons
    19.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. M

    #mcyt#dream team#dream smp#sapnap#nick art#JOKING #anyway I have this outfit irl and I think it’s so cute but I feel like i didn’t show the little shorts designs good enough :(
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  • newbloggycat
    19.09.2021 - 2 days ago

    Joke of the day - PROMpt

    Joke of the day – PROMpt

    “Life’s a catwalk! Be PROMinent! https://www.pinterest.com

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  • orangecatmaids
    18.09.2021 - 3 days ago

    I don’t think that stans poor behavior should be blamed on the cc but dream really needs to do something. Every single event this season someone involved has gotten threats and hates and the assholes has always been dream stans. Like he for real needs to get them to know that this type of behavior isn’t acceptable. He can’t keep leaving his coworkers in the fire like this

    #dream neg#mcc salt #h sap and dream seems to have solved the cheating bs between them and yeah good for them #but neither of sapnap or dream actually talked with their chats about it after #just a short joke in 15 and that’s it #h is still getting hate for it #at some point they got to realize the influence they have #they are not small ccs anymore #they have actual influence and it’s time for them to take some fucking responsibility!
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  • sixfanarts
    18.09.2021 - 3 days ago

    i highkey didn’t want to do work so here’s jazzalil (-▽-,)

    #firebringer!!!! cave wives!!! jazzalil!!! #i have so many emotions about them rewtching the show ugh ugh #they're gonna do it together kdsjfah #;O;;;;; i love them #fun fact: this was the first wlw couple which was canon that i was exposed to #aka i am very soft #exactly a year ago i was so obssessed w starkid and now im not i guess tastes change #it still makes me incredibly nostalgic going back to old fandoms #the songs are still good it's just??? no longer such strong attachment? (me with all my fandoms rn actl) #mmmm okay modern au hcs #it's not pictured here but i keep imagining jemilla in like bell-bottomed jeans and a crop top idk why #if you peer closely they have rings! bc they proposed to each other at the end of it?? i'm not sure if they're officially married in this au #i like to think it was enemies to friends to lovers and like in the friends stage they kinda did it as a semi-serious joke and now #you cant see it either but zazzalil is wearing shorts and a crop top bc its my head i can choose the designs #jemilla just trying to get work done and zazzalil randomly passes by and swoops in to kiss her on the cheek #'muah you're the best' except jemilla did it to her at first and now she does it back too #zazzalil still dreams a lot and imagines big big ideas and jemilla helps her try to make them realistic and achieve them #it's a very 'reach for the moon you'll end up on the stars' situation bc they're both highly capable :> #i can think of zero ways the heights in this make sense nvm #unless it's like those bar stools and a high table and zazz is walking by #i drew them kissing as well a v sketchy little doodle because i felt lowkey robbed of that at the end of the musical!! #but as characters they both change so much and like. that's good stuff right there character development my beloved #i adore their interactions both in canon and in fanon #jemilla is the go-to problem solver in the tribe and they all like room tgt and opposite the table is probably like keeri #she took this pic and not shown above is that she captioned it 'gay' #firebringer#jemilla#zazzalil #this is technically a redraw? but also the art hasnt really gotten better haha i just wanted to draw them again really badly #together?? 'together nothing's standing in our way' i am sobbing ;O;; skajdhf i want that relationship that's so amazing heart full
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