Whether you’re doing your sobriety journey solo or you’ve admitted yourself to an inpatient addiction treatment facility, you have to know that there will certainly be challenges along the way. There will be times that you will feel that you’re ready to give up and you will be tempted to go back to substance use.
Well-well let have some delicious happy hour at kona grill.. actually the best happy hour at Eden prairie. I just to go there for drinks and drinks and more drinks haha first time I’m here having happy hour without alcohol…..CRAZY times!!!
Tomorrow will mark 5 years since my divorce came final and 5 days from that day, January the 30st, would have been our wedding anniversary. It’s 5 years since I hit HARD rock bottom. My life fell apart and I just wanted to quit. I was drinking more than usual (which was already a lot) I was using again, I was in and out of mental health institutions, I was just broken. I have never in the last 5 years spent the next week of my life anything less than blacked out. I woke up hungover and sick every morning but never less broken than the night before. It didn’t heal the pain, it just put a temporary band aid on it for the night. Even then that didn’t always work. I ended up sending more drunk texts than I care to think about, making decisions I wish I didn’t remember, with people who I wish I could forget. I’m nervous and scared to death going into this sober for the first time. It’s been a year on the 31st. I woke up last year after my week long bender and thought, I never want to feel like this again…so I haven’t. So here’s to hoping I survive this week. The week that’s haunted me for 5 years. The week that brings me to my knees. Here’s to praying that I keep moving forward and don’t fall back. That is the plan! I can do this, we can do this! Together!
Choose yourself. Don’t listen to your friends or society. You’re the only person who knows what is best for you. Always choose you. Before your children, before your spouse, and before your friends. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I haven’t told many people about my sobriety yet. I was almost too afraid to talk about it. How many times have I declared my sobriety, had friends and family show support, love, and encouragement, just to fall back into the vicious addiction?! What would people think? What would people say? Would I lose friends that I’ve been connected to with drinking for so long? Would I completely ruin my…
WANT MORE OUT OF YOUR RECOVERY?
I had gotten sober but was still struggling with boundaries like knowing how or when to say no to friends or how to speak up to my boyfriend when I didn’t like something.
I was also feeling uncomfortable in my skin and couldn’t stand the sight of my body in the mirror.
It wasn’t until I started working with a coach that I started to work on triggers, old wounds, boundaries, and self-love that my recovery started working for me.
I did research and started mirror work and started slowly looking like myself again.
My face changed, the weight melted off, and my personality shined through…
I felt like myself again!!
A NEW AND IMPROVED VERSION OF MYSELF!
if this sounds like something you’re going through and you’d like to make a change
Send me a message to book a free call!
My program is built to help those in every kind of recovery gain self-love and confidence.
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We discussed the topic of silver linings during my recovery support Zoom call last night. Collectively we decided that the connection to our little, local group was the brightest silver lining across all of our sobriety journeys. Then it hit me, how did I even find this group in the first place? I honestly have no clue.
My decision to accept sobriety came in February 2020. That first week was pure hell. I hit the proverbial rock bottom in such a way that all I could do was lie in my dirty bed, paralyzed with despair. I could barely able to get up to eat or refill my cup of water. I remember getting whiffs of a smell that didn’t even smell like me - it scared me. I felt like someone else completely.
My supportive husband, who is my source of strength, was out of town for work that entire week. I was alone…in so many ways. Alone with my thoughts, alone with my sick body, alone with my addiction that had finally made itself known in a big way that THIS IS A REAL PROBLEM.
I was no stranger to a “moral hangover”. You know what I’m talking about - that heavy, emotional dose of “oh nooo what have I doooone” the morning after a bender. I had felt that many moments over the past ten years when after, I swore things would be different after a bad drinking episode.
But yet…nothing stuck.
And yet…the message kept coming back to me.
And yet….during that first week, I somehow found the book Quit Like a Woman. I have zero memory of ordering it online, despite being sober. I don’t know if I Googled “recovery books” or if I saw something on Instagram or if I heard about the book from a friend. It just ✨magically✨ arrived at my door two days later. That book alone lifted my shame.
And yet…I sent a Google search for therapists into the ether during my moment of desperation and found the perfect match during that nightmarish first week. She got me out of bed and moving.
And yet…I aimlessly explored the internet for support groups after a frightening first visit to AA. I somehow found the #WeAreTheLuckiest group. I wasn’t familiar with the author’s book or her famous recovery podcast. Nothing. I just stumbled in. Again, no memory of how this happened. The local chapter of that group has given me some of the closest friendships during this time that I ever could’ve imagined. That community has kept me here.
The book. The therapist. The group. These three things found me during that pivotal first week.
I don’t know why these three things found me when they did instead of the countless times before when I fell down. But they did. I imagine it was the cosmic shift that happened when I honestly accepted that I had a problem that I could no longer manage on my own.
As soon as I surrendered to the truth, the teachers appeared.
Looking back on it, I see how the universe played some tricks because these teachers appeared with little effort on my end. I don’t remember how the teachers appeared, they just did. And that’s the pure wonder of it all.
I’m in no position to offer advice since I’m so new in my recovery. Instead, I’ll offer a prayer to you - some soft, loving words that I extend through my computer screen right now to you, in whatever state of searching you may be in.
May your teachers appear when you are ready.
May they be exactly what you need, when you need them.
May your heart be open to receive their guidance, in whatever magical form that guidance appears.