#spencer reid Tumblr posts

  • simplycheese
    16.10.2021 - 35 minutes ago

    In honour of spooky season. Here’s some (Fourth)Dr Spencer Reid

    (Shoutout to @racingairplanes for bringing this face to my attention)

    #criminal minds#Spencer Reid#Doctor who #trying a new style and I’m digging it #you can definitely tell when I started getting bored though lol #my art stuff
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  • blood-fire-and-anguish
    16.10.2021 - 5 hours ago

    OK SO---

    I opened tumblr after a sleepless night and did NOT expect to find 12 notifications from people who I recognise from ao3 reblogging my whumptober post. Hi everyone! I love you all!

    #criminal minds #spencer reid x aaron hotchner #whumptober
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  • casparwrites
    16.10.2021 - 5 hours ago

    Dealing With Spencer Reid

    Chapter: 12 - Hold Me

    Pairing: Spencer Reid/Derek Morgan 

    Read it on Ao3 or here: 

    Everyone said a quick goodnight as they unloaded from the plane; everyone except Hotch heading straight home.

    The case had been rough and draining on everyone. Spencer sat in the passenger seat of Derek's car, silently as he usually did. Derek glanced over to him every so often, smiling at how pretty his Pretty Boy was, even if both men were running on nearly no sleep.

    "Derek?" Spencer whispered as they turned into the driveway of Derek's house.

    "Yes, baby?" Derek reached his hand behind Spencer's neck, gently playing with his messy hair. "You tired?"

    "Yeah," he mumbled. "But I want to talk to you. When we get inside."

    "Are you feeling ok, pretty boy?"

    "It's just about the case..."

    "Ok," Derek furrowed his brow but hid it with a smile. "Let's go inside. I'll make us some-."


    "It is almost one in the morning," Derek laughed, quickly hopping out of the car and opening up Spencer's door for him. "I'll grab the bags. Maybe we can hop into a shower?"


    The hot water poured over Spencer while waiting for Derek to join him in the master bath, listening to the older man unload the dirty laundry from their go bags.

    He felt utterly defeated. His whole body felt like it could collapse underneath him at any moment, feeling like it was carrying the weight of the world. Spencer had never done so badly on a case. They found the unsub, sure, but not because of his pathetic actions.

    "Can I join?" Derek asked gently, watching Spencer's fragile body through the glass door. "You look so tired."

    "I want you to," Spencer said without looking up. "I want you to come and hold me."

    "Oh, baby," Derek threw his clothes onto the floor, scrambling over his own feet to get into the shower. "Of course, I will hold you. Always."

    "Thank you, Derek," Spencer said as he sank into his lover's arms, his head resting against his chest, listening to his heart beating. He was quiet for a moment. "76 Beats per Minute. That's higher than usual."

    "Come on," Derek huffed. "You know my heart will beat faster when I'm worried about you."

    "I'm fine," Spencer croaked, tears catching in the back of his throat. "I'm fine."

    "Shh," Derek kissed the crown of his head. "It's going to be alright. Let's get you showered first."

    Derek washed Spencer's hair for him, thoughtfully massaging his head as he ran his fingers through the sopping locks. He whispered sweet nothings into his boyfriend's ears, reminding him how pretty he was, how much he loved him. Spencer didn't verbally react; he didn't think he'd be able to without crying, but his body slowly relaxed, the muscles in his back finally unclenching. At one point, he wrapped his arms around Derek's neck, tapping his fingers along every vertebra he could feel under his slim fingers, whispering their correlated numbers into Derek's chest.

    "Do you want pj's tonight?" Derek asked as he slipped on a pair of boxers. Spencer nodded from the bed, towel still wrapped around his waist, and he went to stand up. "Hey, I got it." Derek grabbed a pair of Star Wars pyjama bottoms and tossed them to Reid.

    "How did you know I'd want these?" Spencer smiled slightly, shimmying into them. Derek threw the towel onto the floor as he joined the smaller man on the bed.

    "Because I know you, Pretty Boy," Derek pulled back the covers, slipping himself and Spencer under them. "You need some sleep."

    "I wanted to talk. About the case."


    "Please, Derek," Reid begged. "Please! I want to know it's not my fault."


    "That two people died while we were there. Was it my fault? Is their blood on my hands, Derek?"

    "Why would it ever be your fault, baby?"

    "Do you ever just feel... useless?"

    Derek sighed. He knew this wasn't about the job. He knew this was personal.

    "I love you so much, Reid. And I know exactly what is going on in your head right now. I know exactly what you're thinking."

    "That I'm an idiot? That I should have done a better job not letting my issues get in the way?" Spencer harshly ran his hands through his hair. "You're right. That's exactly what I'm thinking."

    "If this was a child's sexual assault case, would you blame me for breaking down?"

    "You would have never-"

    "You know that's not true, Reid. Would you be mad?"

    "Of course not. It's not your fault."

    "And how was what happened on this case yours?"


    "You were overwhelmed, Spence. And to be honest, I think sometimes we forget that we can't expect you to do a task all on your own. Ciphers require multiple sets of eyes, no matter how smart you are. And you could've helped with the ME, or even at the station where I was. We put a ton of pressure on you, Pretty Boy."

    "Because it's all I'm good for."


    "My brains, Derek. I can't fight. I can barely handle talking to other people. The only reason I'm on the team is because-"

    "We need you. We need you when no one else can do what you do. And that has never been just for ciphers and codes. It's been for communicating with kids who don't know how to communicate with us. It's for the calmness you bring when talking down unsubs. It's for the way you can see things on scenes that no one else can."

    "Derek..." Spencer's face was flooding with embarrassment. "Please don't."

    "Don't what? Tell you the truth?" Derek nearly snapped back. Spencer's body fell against his, burying his face into his shoulder. "This isn't just about the ciphers, huh?"

    "Ding ding ding," Spencer said with a self-deprecating chuckle.

    "No one is mad," Derek said into the top of his still-damp hair. "It was just an unfortunate time for something like that to happen."

    "I will never get over the embarrassment."

    "Yes, you will," Derek said smoothly. "I think you're just afraid that you won't get over the fear."

    "I hate dating a profiler."

    "It might happen again."

    "Derek, please don't say-"

    "It's true, Spence. The truth is that you forget to eat a lot. You forget to drink, too. So the fact that you may have another accident at some point in your life is not completely absurd. But that's ok."

    "What?" Spencer said through a sob.

    "We know how to deal with it. Me, and Hotch. And the team knows how to deal with your meltdowns. But most importantly, you know how to deal with it. Because you know, no matter how much your genius brain tries to tell you otherwise, that we all love you so much. That I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, Reid."

    "I love you, too, Derek," Reid sniffled. Derek carefully pulled his chin up using his fingers and pressed a long kiss against his trembling lips.

    "How do you feel about getting some sleep, love?"

    "yes, Please."

    #Criminal Minds#spencer reid #spencer reid and derek morgan #derek morgan/spencer reid #actually autistic #autistic spencer reid #ao3
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  • doctorspenceryeet
    16.10.2021 - 5 hours ago
    "i've been everywhere, man, looking for someone. someone who can please me, love me all night long."

    me @ spencer reid at any given time

    #chass' trashy thoughts #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds #no but srsly #he could please and teach me
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  • twee-potato
    16.10.2021 - 8 hours ago

    So I've been thinking, what if Spencer and his team saved Techie from Peach Trees?

    #spencer reid#clan techie #i know that’s a picture of rodney #Spenchie#moodboard#wip #another crossover nobody asked for
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  • boldlyvoid
    16.10.2021 - 9 hours ago
    #ask#blurbs#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine
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  • fbivestreid
    16.10.2021 - 9 hours ago

    besties i want to start writing for spencer reid so i'm leaving these prompts lists 1 and 2 here, feel free to ask for a few of them !! i don't promise anything lol but i'll try to write some blurbs :))

    #boost ?? #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #viv writes
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  • mrsh0tchner
    16.10.2021 - 9 hours ago


    for @lilacprentiss for winning the game

    credit if used
    please like + reblog if you save
    request icons here

    tagging: @arsonhotchner @ssahotchie @honeymenta @scuttling @doctorstethoscope @h0tch-r0cket

    #criminal minds#aaron hotchner#cm#hotch#spencer reid#mrsh0tchner icons #criminal minds icons #jennifer jareau#elle greenaway#derek morgan #derek morgan icons #jennifer jareau icons #aaron hotchner icons #spencer reid icons #elle greenaway icons #icons#bau icons#profile pictures #criminal minds profile pictures #season 1#LDSK#1x06
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  • ssavanessa22
    16.10.2021 - 10 hours ago

    Your’s mine ours (prologue)

    A/n: I can't remember the exact post, but I was inspired to write this fic from something that @boldlyvoid spoke about on their account and the movie Yours mine and our that came out in the 2000’s like this post or send an ask to be added to the taglist for this story :)

    Warnings: swearing, children crying, violence, just y/n and Spencer both being kinda rude

    He and the boys visit this park every week without fail; they both have entirely different interests, so he tries to include it all in these sessions at the park. He plays a riveting game of chess with Charlie, who, at only five years old, is slowly catching up to his old man. After he helps Tyler with scoring for soccer, even though Spencers is not the most athletically inclined, the physics behind the perfect score is pretty straightforward.

    However, this week, when they go to the park, they meet someone who will leave a lasting impression on them

    It all starts when Spencer is setting up the small picnic blanket for them to sir on after they finish with their activities. Charlie is already revving to play a game of chess, and To him, Spencer is taking too long for his liking and decides to go set up without him.

    He takes his short chubby limbs and makes his way to his special seat that he and daddy always use when playing chess in the park. However, when he gets there, little Charlie is met by another small child around the same age as maybe four instead of five. She's wearing pale jeans and a pink dusted cardigan that matches her cute little trainers; her whole look is cohesive. The Accessories on the end of her hair ties that secure the large puffs on her head. Her hair is so big and fluffy it reminds Charlie of the clouds in the sky that he and Tyler look at together.

    By the time he's able to lift himself fully onto the bench, she notices him and his unruly curls, that are speckled on his head

    “Do you know how to play chess because I don't play with silly people”

    “My mum teaches me she's like the best chess-playing like in the world.”

    “My dad is awesome at playing too, but I'm getting better, and I'm gonna beat him soon.”

    Simultaneously whilst spencer still hasn't noticed that Charlie has walked away to find a more attentive chess partner, he is helping Tyler set up the goal for his practices.

    “So what are we working on today” spencer gifted after finishing setting up the post

    “Mostly scoring curved goals coach saying my attack is good and I'm rarely offside, so it's mainly curved goals today.”

    “Okay, let's me write a few things in my notes, and then we can see how to improve that.”

    “Dad, isn't it better if we make the hands-on approach now and worry about the physics later”

    “Tyler, you will be thanking me when your team wins because of these notes I'm going to make now; just sit down, don't try and score yet, or you'll hurt yourself or, worse, someone. Just wait, and we will be fine.”

    “Ughh, find dad.”

    The problem with kids is even when you try to teach them to the best of your abilities to listen to you, they still never do so. Of course, even Spencer told Tyler not to start shooting the ball. He did anyway.

    “Tyler, why have I told you not to do that yet? Because you could hurt someone, come on, please listen to me when I tell you something. ``Spencer says, “ come on, Charlie, let's go play so ches- Charlie? Charlie? Tyler, have you seen Charlie.”

    Sadly Tyler was too preoccupied with scoring his goals then listen to what his dad was saying

    “Dad, I know you worried I'll hurt someone, but look, I'm super careful- wooooo oh shit.”

    Just as Spencer had predicted because Tyler had put so much force into his kick, it went flying past the area they were sitting in and went to mother and daughter, both frantically looking for something or, more likely, someone in the park. Sadly for both groups, the ball came at a propelling speed at a young girl, hitting her right in the face. From what Spencer could tell from the glimpse of the two of them, the girl was probably 16/17, around Tyler’s age, and her mum was no less than 35. And both spencer and Tyler could hear the fallout of the hit from where they were standing.

    “Ahhhh, who the fuck kicked that at me.”

    “Oh God, Melanie, are you okay, hun?”

    “No, some fuck face just hit me with a ball me mum, you.” she pointed directly to Tyler

    “Me”, Tyler said in shock

    “Yeah, you curlyhead bipshit, were you the fuckface who just kicked this ball at me.”

    “Uhhh I-I-” before Tyler could respond, both Charlie and the little friend he made ran to their prospective parent

    When spencer saw Charlie run up to him, he was a blubbering mess

    “Daddy daddy, this girl was mean to me,” he said with tears streaming down his face

    Both parents were filled with confusion and anger. How dare the other not learn how to control their child in a public setting in unison they both looked at each other and replied

    “What the hell is wrong with your kid?”

    “What the hell is wrong with your kid?”

    Taglist (I'm also tagging people who liked my post ages ago about writing this !)

    @godessofbucky @thatsonezesty13 @milo-of-the-sea @dreatine @shaunniaok-blog @directingsunsets @obsessivelysearching @zombiedixon89 @catboykenmasimp @gardennof-venus @solarreid @serpenttines-writes @prettyvintageafternoon @samuel-de-champagne-problems @sweetandsunny @spookyspence

    #spence reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x black reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #dad spencer #dad!spencer #spencer reid angst #spencer reid insert #spencer reid fan fiction
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  • subbyspencereid
    16.10.2021 - 10 hours ago

    "Show Me How Sorry You Are." (4265 words) by moonice20408
    Chapters: 1/1
    Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV)
    Rating: Explicit
    Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
    Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
    Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader, You
    Additional Tags: Sub!Spencer, soft dom/sub, Smut, 18+, NSFW, Hair-pulling, Swearing, Hand Jobs, Fingering, Choking, brief nipple play, cockwarming as punishment, Praise Kink, Creampie, talks of subdrops, Aftercare, fem!reader - Freeform, Soft Dom Reader

    Spencer’s been a brat all day at work, and you’ve had enough with it.

    Spencer x Fem!Reader, Sub!Spencer x SoftDom!Reader


    #spencer reid#criminal minds #sub!spencer reid
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  • spencerslibrary
    16.10.2021 - 10 hours ago

    alright tumblr wouldn’t let me include this in my last post so here’s a boyband spencer tiktok for you all 😁

    #you should see my tiktok liked/saved #it’s full of edits like this #for a while i made this my live wallpaper haha #tiktok#spencer reid#criminal minds
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  • sophisticatedspence
    16.10.2021 - 10 hours ago

    filling in the blanks as we go - chapter eight

    pairing: spencer reid x reader
    summary: we finally talk it out.
    | chapter one | read on ao3 | masterlist | chapter nine |

    When I wake up, there’s no arm around my waist or even anyone else in the bed with me. There is the sound of the shower running in the bathroom though and I’m relieved before I become uncomfortable with the fact that I felt like I needed to know he hadn’t run away after the previous night. I turn my alarm off and pull the sheet off of me, kicking my feet off to sit on the edge of the bed and I’m hit with the chill of the room. Getting back into the nice warm bed is tempting but I don’t really want to be stuck in bed trapped by the cold when Reid finishes his shower, I’d rather be free to leave if I needed to.

    Remainders of my annoyance dwindle in my stomach despite logically knowing that I had denied him the chance to apologise last night. The feeling still remains even when I remember how he’d held me last night although it does fade ever so slightly. Still, as his damp form emerges from the bathroom with a towel around his waist I make the mistake of looking at him and it’s now the kiss I gave him that burns into my mind more than anything.

    “Morning.” I say too normally, I’d have preferred my tone to be more flat and indifferent but my concentration is on looking away from him, and fast. Sure, he doesn’t have a six pack or bulging muscles but working in law enforcement has pushed me away from liking that sort of thing; I’d arrested too many men who found it fun to overpower women and they had a habit of looking like that. I know logically Reid is definitely stronger than me, his gender providing him the advantage of more strength with less work but he didn’t look that way. It wasn’t that I was attracted to weak men - more those who provided the illusion of safety or at least not being dangerous.

    He’s topless and he’s pretty so I look away so I don’t end up gawking. I try not to trip over whilst finding my go bag and I luckily make it there without making a fool out of myself as I start to dig through to find something to wear.

    “Hey,” he replies and I can hear the suspicion in his voice. “You wake up okay? You look flushed.”

    Am I really that obvious? That’s embarrassing.

    “I’m fine.” I slash back, my annoyance resurfacing at the thought that maybe he did this on purpose although I dismiss the idea as quickly as it appears. How dare he be so pretty and concerned at the same time. I’m starting to realise how emotionally tiring it is to be annoyed at someone who’s actively trying to redeem himself.

    My tone seems to stun him and he freezes. I feel bad only for a moment before he picks up his own go bag and returns to the bathroom to get changed. I sigh in relief before getting dressed myself quickly, knowing he’ll be quick too and the last thing I want is him to walk in with me half naked. I’m sitting in the desk chair pulling my socks up when he steps out of the bathroom in a usual sweater vest outfit, his choices today unusually monochrome blacks and greys apart from two odd brightly coloured socks.

    The room is a bit too quiet again and the daylight stretching in through the window doesn’t help the sensation of things left unsaid. Neither of us speak as he drops his go bag on top of the bed before stalking over to the desk I’m sitting at. I’m not in the most graceful position as I’m leaning over to tie my shoes now, him still being barefoot, and all I can see from my peripherals is him walking over. With this strange tension between us comes this level of unpredictability specifically from him and my breath catches as I’m taken back to that moment in the elevator doorway when I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he peers over and starts to read the case file again and again I feel stupid for his ability to completely debilitate me. With my shoes on securely, I storm into the bathroom to brush my teeth and freshen up. By the time I’m done, he’s still pouring over it and I snatch the file away from the desk like a child before sliding it into my bag.

    “Hey!” He starts.

    “I saw you read it last night, you’ve already got it memorised.”

    “The physical copy helps me think.” His voice has gone high, like it sometimes does when he's embarrassed.

    “I’m sure Hotch will have one ready for you later. You’re not even on the clock yet.”

    I know my behaviour is stupid but I can’t help it. He’s leaning against the desk and looking at me now with narrowed eyes again, his concentrating face.

    “You’re angry with me.” He states. I take a seat on the edge of the bed and I slouch and I rest on my arms stretched out behind me. I’m trying not to chew the side of my cheek.

    “You already knew that.” I say cooly.

    He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what I said on the jet.” He starts. “I was stupid to even think it would be okay to have that conversation where everyone else could hear us and I regret talking to you so…” He trails off as if for once the genius couldn’t find the right word.

    “Accusatorily? In such a condescending tone? Embarrassingly?” I help except it’s not helping. For me, it’s ramping up to something.

    “Yes, all of those things. I was an idiot.” He resigns.

    “You could have had me transferred, Reid.” It comes out of my mouth eerily calm, one of the main reasons why I feel so betrayed.

    “No -”

    “Yes!” I shout, cutting him off. I stand up but his eyes don’t rise up to meet mine, instead staring at the ground with his head shaking left and right. “Yes, you could have if Hotch thought what you were saying was accurate and that it was affecting my job! He would have no option but to transfer me - or transfer one of us but you know it would be me since I’m the newest. Without a thought or bit of care, you said something you knew could risk my entire career when I thought we were friends. You embarrassed me in front of everyone.”

    As always, my anger never comes out prettily or easily. It’s something that I have no leash on, it always consumes me whenever I let it out or act on it. The confession of my embarrassment almost has me in tears, my frustration rising to the surface above the fire in my stomach. Now not only am I living the embarrassment from the jet again but this new embarrassment as I let myself feel so strongly in front of him, showing him how he’d made me feel. It’s uncomfortable and it only adds to my restlessness.

    “We are friends and I can do nothing but apologise.” It’s hard to ignore how his voice shakes as he says the first part. “If I could go back and change what I said I would. I was stupid and arrogant and upset and I said something stupid, I’m sorry.” Whilst my voice gradually gets scratchier, his becomes stronger as he emphasises every word to show how much he means it. I’m frustrated about the past, he’s frustrated about how there’s nothing he can do to help even though he caused it.

    “Did you even think of the consequences for me when you pointed out I was breaking a term of employment?” I ask with a sick sort of smile on my face from disbelief as I relive it. “Whilst pushing the term fraternisation in my face? Do you have any idea of how embarrassing that was as well?”

    “I never meant to embarrass you and honestly I think I ended up embarrassing myself more than you.”

    My eyebrows raise, surprised. “That’s your way of apologising? Saying you had it worse than me?”

    “No, no no no.” He looks up at that, wanting me to see the worry in his eyes. “I wish I could - ugh. You found it embarrassing, I understand that and once again I apologise, but understand that the rest of the team were only judging me after you left, not you. I was so scared when you said you’d sacrifice yourself but there was a moment where it was just me in the back of that jet and I thought I’d managed to push everyone away from me that had ever cared for me with one stupid conversation and I tried to fix it whilst we were landing but you wouldn’t let me, w-which is understandable.”

    “You know, Hotch told me on the drive from the air strip he wasn’t going to transfer me but he never said it was because he didn’t believe you. You know that’s going to be in his head now everytime he looks at me, everytime he thinks of pairing us together.” I’m shaking my head, my expression disappointed.

    “I’ve messed this up so badly.” He sighs. “I shouldn’t have said it.”

    “No, you shouldn’t have.” I say and it’s sharp and probably the coldest he’s ever heard me. “You have the nerve to lecture me about fraternisation in front of everyone and then show up on my doorstep at 1AM asking to share a bed? Did Hotch even tell you to share with me or was that just your excuse?”

    “Excuse for what?” That seems to shock him a bit and he straightens, no longer leaning and his arms move to cross against his chest defensively.

    “Reid, you can stand there all you want and list all the physical symptoms of attraction that I might have shown but you can’t without surely knowing you’ve been displaying them all too.”

    Just like any profiler, Reid knows how to show a blank slate and that’s exactly what he does as he listens to me try to expose him. His wall goes up just as mine had earlier and I get nothing from him resembling an answer.

    “I can list them if you want. You liked having your hands around my waist so you held me up for too long. You defended me from that stupid beat cop and you said you hated how Strickland looked at me. You can’t bear the thought of me sacrificing myself for you in a way that’s different to if it was Emily or Jen, because you’ve already lived through that with someone else that you…” I’m not going to overcompensate and say the word love. That’d probably be overselling it and I’m determined not to be the arrogant one in the room.

    “You held me last night when I needed comfort, slept with your arm around my waist. I’m not blind, Reid and frankly it’s almost insulting. We’re both profilers you know.”

    “So you admit it then.”

    I scoff. “Admit what?”

    “That you like me.”

    “What are we in high school suddenly?” He won't look at me.

    “I was twelve in high school.”

    “Oh shut up, Reid. You know what I mean.” I snap. I couldn't keep doing this - even no answer would be an answer to him eventually. I need to bring this back to him, he was the one at fault - it had been his anger that had led us here. “Why?" l ask. "I still don’t understand why you got so...angry. I’ve never seen you that way before.” JJ’s words ring in my ears.

    He hesitates for a second, licking his lips and playing with his hands. It's clear he's deciding how much to tell me and I see him make his decision as his eyes meet mine.

    “I know it’s no excuse but I’ve known my Mom hasn’t been doing well for a couple of weeks now and it’s been hard to admit it’s been getting to me. She’s always been unwell and it’s always been a constant worry in the back of my head but now with the Alzheimer's, with the study, I just haven’t known how to help her. I’ve spent my whole life taking care of her and now I can’t because she’s suffering and nothing I do helps. I think I’ve been trying to maybe...get used to the thought that she might not be around for much longer. It’s been excruciating.” And with that last word he looks like he's living through it all over again. It's an alarming thought to realise he probably is: a downside to having an eidetic memory.

    “Reid.” I try, not wanting him to touch this all so soon and feeling some regret over my insistence. He shakes his head at me and I can tell that from his point of view he's started so he'll finish. He thinks I deserve to know.

    “So, when you said that to the unsub - completely not your fault - but it set me off. I’ve been preparing mentally for a different death and then it hit me that it could be anyone, could even be you. Especially you since you seem so - so eager almost. It scared me. I get attached to people too easily, which is probably due to some psychological fact on how few friends I had as a child.” He tries to joke but it lands pretty flatly. “You’re part of my life and losing you would - I don’t know, I think a part of me would die with you like it nearly died with Maeve.”

    “Spencer.” I take a step towards him.

    “That one week where you were here but you weren’t, when you were avoiding me - I know you said it wasn’t to do with me but it made me realise how dependent I was getting again. You’ve been here eight months and four days and already I can’t imagine this team without you in it and yet people always leave, especially the ones I don’t want to so I couldn’t have you going around thinking that you could just give yourself up for me, or for anyone, without knowing how much you mean to other people. On the jet, I was stupid - so stupid - and it all built up until I said that and I thought to myself at least if you get transferred it’ll be my fault and not because you couldn’t stand to be around me anymore or because you’re dead.”

    I hear myself inhale sharply as I concentrate more on his words than anything else. He'd had a stupid thought in the heat of an argument that came from insecurity and past trauma. In reality, he just wanted me safe.

    “Spence, I’m still here. I would never want to leave because of you.”

    “I know it doesn’t make any sense but I can’t help but think it. Still, I shouldn’t have said it and if I had gotten you transferred I would have instantly regretted it and told Hotch I was making it up but in that moment I was so...wound up that I said something incredibly dumb and I-I’m sorry. I can only stand here and tell you I would never, ever want you to transfer and that I’m sorry.”

    It’s kind of hard to be angry at him after that, my anger fizzling away. My hand becomes magnetised to his arm in comfort and once again he takes it as an invitation to hold me. I close my eyes as my chin rests on his shoulder, letting all the remaining anger drain out of me completely as he holds me so tightly as if I’ll fall if he lets go. He’d said something stupid like everyone had at some point in their lives and it made sense why. I could forgive that. Eventually.

    “You mean so much to me.” He breathes into my ear. “I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate you, I’d have to be stupid to not know how lucky I am to have someone still be there for me when I needed them after I’d messed up so enormously.”

    “Damn right.” I whisper jokingly, needing him to know that he didn’t owe me anything. He gives some slack so that my hands end up at the base of his neck and his end up on my waist. He gives me a neutral smile that tells me he understands and it almost distracts me from how close we are. My thumbs idly move up and down the sides of his neck and I register him swallowing hard by the movement of his Adam’s apple.

    “I’m sorry you feel that way, like everyone leaves. I promise that at least for now, I’m sticking around as long as Hotch will let me. Hell, I’m hoping to stick around longer than he does.” I poke and he smiles. “I’m also sorry about your Mom, Spence. I can’t imagine what this must be like for you.” His smile falls then but rather than transitioning to something sad, he looks puzzled.

    “You never talk about your parents.” He states.

    He is right, I don't - I wasn’t lying to the unsub when I said that I had found my new family. As always, I can tell from his intonation and choice of words that there’s an option not to answer, although maybe that’s why I feel obliged to answer.

    I clear my throat slightly. “My mom has always been overbearing and a bit manipulative. Not enough to call CPS or anything just - not someone I need in my life. My dad died a few years ago. My mom got worse after that.”

    “I’m sorry.” he says whilst I register that I’ve never really admitted to anyone what my mother could be like. She had a habit of knowing how to act normal in front of everyone else. I try to clear my throat again but it doesn’t seem to have an effect.

    “It’s fine, I’ve dealt with it.” I say, but my eyes are still filled with tears with his confession and the remnants of my frustration. He must see that I’m struggling to get a handle on it as one hand moves from my waist to cup my cheek and he lets out a hushed, "Hey." in comfort. His hand is so warm, so comforting I can’t help but push into it until he’s caressing my face. His thumb still gently makes little circles ghosting my skin as if he were trying to memorise the texture and feeling of me. Like hell was this platonic.

    It’s almost as if he hears my thoughts because suddenly he’s pulling away except it isn’t gentle or slow like you might expect, it’s fast and harsh as if I’d stung him somehow. He’s clearing his throat and straightening his tie and checking his satchel whilst I stand where he’d left me, my legs almost stuck in the imaginary mud.

    I’ve never had an easier profile: he likes me, but knows he can’t have me. It’s made him conscious of anything that might go further. So much for friendship. It’s all there in his choice of words earlier and his shortness of breath now. It’s almost laughable.

    “What’s so funny?” He asks me and only then do I realise that I must have actually laughed.

    “You are.” I say back with a smile but it does also give rise to a problem.

    Logically, he was right. We’d just had an argument about how the implication of fraternisation could make me lose this job - now it wasn’t really an implication anymore, more like a possibility.

    Did I like him? Absolutely, almost annoyingly so. Did I like him more than the job? No.

    However, there was another question: Was there a chance that as profilers we could maybe have some fun and hide it from the others with our profiling skills so that neither of us lost our jobs?

    Maybe. I guess we’d just have to see.

    Tag list: @measure-in-pain @ilovespencerreidmarryme @spencersrose @chelsea-the-enchanted @just-arandomwriter @jswessie187 @mynameis3-14 @dontstopxx @tvandfanfic

    tags that are struck through - check your privacy settings :/

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    16.10.2021 - 12 hours ago
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    15.10.2021 - 12 hours ago


    criminal minds || 13x13 cure

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    15.10.2021 - 13 hours ago

    Hotch: where’s reid?

    Emily: he said he wanted some fresh air

    Hotch: WE’RE ON A PLANE

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    15.10.2021 - 14 hours ago

    thinking about t4t lesbian garcireid

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    15.10.2021 - 14 hours ago
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