I cast my lines and wait for the faith tug,

the ageless voices,

the tongues of sea-shells,

a remembering,

an ushering into the world

what must not be forgotten,

but all I get

are the missed deadlines,

the overdue charges,

the lull of endless scrolling

through intricately woven fantasies,

the kids and their endless

doctor’s bills

and I’m learning to see the pockets

of timelessness in these too.

When you say goodnight and close your eyes

I think we move too quickly,

from moment to moment,

and I would like to hold you,

differently than a photograph

against the dimming light of another day.

I would like to

keep your hands,

your tired fingers

with the dirt still

under your fingernails,

in mine,

after a day in the yard

digging weeds,

planting hydrangeas,

honest, gritty

as we try to create some order

in a disordered world

and pull some meaning

from the pregnant dark.

the long walk

Forever is a long walk

On crutches down a

Slippery slope

I fell hard as a youth and

Not sorry to say

I am still

sliding

3. Me lo tire en el baño de aquel bar del centro de madrid

Too drunk on my emotions

Too passed out in your arms

I was feeling like a rain drop

Searching for a cloud

• Wordsofthesilentworld

AND I WANT A LOVE THAT FALLS AS FAST AS A BODY FROM THE BALACONY AND I WANT A KISS LIKE MY HEART IS HITTING THE GROUND

There was someone sad, he had gone through something tragic with his lover. This other man heard of his tragedy and told him to be happy. He told the sad man that he was lucky to have experienced such a tragic event. To rejoice in the romantic nature a tragedy brings. I didn’t understand this man at first but now I do. You and I, we were a tragedy but oh how lucky were we to experience this. Many people go on with thier lives, living a mediocre existence with a mediocre person, settling for the abysmal commodities life offers. You and I, we took something from life without it being given to us. And for a while we went to war. Us against life. We eventually lost. But, who else could say they have experienced this.

Starry Eyes

Life. I can’t sleep

I might just be a little out of my mind

And I’m feeling it all a little too deep

I see all the colours and I’m intertwined

I’m drowning in all that’s cold and empty

I’ll eat the moon and drink the stars

We’ll travel outer space in our cars

Go to places far beyond Mars

We’ll go so far, no one can touch me

And I’ll let them all see me

I’m so fucking happy

I can’t fucking breathe

i am no longer a girl;
my body has played host
to the fourth of the Fates,
and this is the twilight, unfolding.

the midday has seen clotho, spinning the thread
has seen lachesis measuring it, atropos cutting it.

and here i sit, a figure in the sunset —
a silhouette of a weaver in tattered dress

my heartbeat, a substandard thread,
a mess in my pockets
getting shorter and shorter
with each wound sewn shut

and yet,
a seagull’s flap,
a poke of a stick,
and all these stitches come undone.

a cautious breath,
a loosened thread,
and the sunsets learn a new shade of red.

— fray narte, “all the loose threads”

“I dreamt we were out by the sea

In little-boxed and garden-land

Houses fraught with tension

Your ginger cat was following us

So much like the one from the

Steep dark cemetery, paws and

Graves of black, of white,

His furious shadow

Crawling through epitaphs and

Searching for us

Each step trailing behind,

Following, following

Like her mood sitting out by the sun

I hung her up to dry,

Wringing out my troubles and words

Susserant as a crush beneath

Ten feet, six of them clothed, amongst

Leaf litter and grass

We were trying to find

What? I’ve forgotten

A wooden house, wood panels and shutters

To keep dangerous minds out

Wandering through

Fake classrooms and football stadiums,

I could not find my friends

I felt this dreary sense of loss

Of loneliness and candor

All rolling into one familiar

Adage

Suddenly I watched the sun set

Over England’s small shop by the sea

My dog was with us

He had found the docklands

Found how to enter the sea”

there’s a part of me that believes everyone else feels this too. that everyone feels this splintering, and i am just the one who can’t handle it. 

doesn’t everyone feel this candle-sputtering, wood-rotting decay? doesn’t everyone feel like there is a hurricane rattling in their bones, threatening to shake them apart? how do people live without this ache?

               how do i live with it?

You call me perfect

In a drunk filled haze or sober

But I can see my true value in your eyes

Someone to fill your bed at night

Laughter to hush the loneliness

A being to gaze upon from time to time

‘Fill in the blanks’

To never be loved but used

In the present, a moment

Like I had no future to begin with

I hate myself for being one

If that’s all I’ll ever be to you