Maybe I want someone to leave so I can prove to myself I have the guts to escort them out.
- Amirah H. J. // I won’t stop you.
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Everything changes and nothing is meant to stay
But there’s beauty in letting go when you wanted to stay
And after all this time I realize love isn’t to be kept but to be given away
0TOXICITY
it’s ironic how my lungs still crave for a breathe of nicotine. how my throat longed for the touch of alcohol when all it ever did was to ruin me from the inside out.
just as how i missed you everyday, it’s a one step at a time until my body adjusts to the emptiness and recovers from the damages, until then, i will be bear desolation.
1“the first time your voice touched
my tongue
it glowed
and my lungs
filled
like jars
of lightning bugs
and when I asked you
what mine tasted like
you told me
broken glass”2Thank you, for introducing me to love. for I shall treasure it for eternity in my veins.
0Must’ve been a dream when I began to keep my eyes open
I didn’t have to be sleep sleep to dream
I don’t have to pretend I’m blind to have a vision
I don’t have to pretend I’m deaf not to hear lies
It’s all in the eyes
Tongues that dances like wolves
I’m no lost sheep
I don’t count how many cows jumping over the moon
life isn’t no rhymes
Great minds have committed crimes
leaving the poor to hustle and only to make a dime to become billionaire
Every person isn’t of fresh bel air
Grasping for dreams
Screaming for a chance and thinking life will be their last dance
I don’t have to close my eyes to dream or feel reality
I’m here in reality breathing
Going viral is a trend,
but to hear God to call my name is a blessing without being disguise
The devil being lying only because I wouldn’t sell soul
I rather keep going through storm in the cold world
God have hold of me
So like the warrior I am
I don’t have to dream with my eyes close
The truth is Crystal clear to me
I have faith over fear
My dream isn’t just a dream
It’s mission I must complete with open eye’s
0“ Three times.
Three years.
Three occasions when you looked me in my eyes,
with a straight face, and
confessed with so much sincerity that you just simply did not love me,
in that moment or ever.
Three times, in three years,
you came back and confessed,
with that same sincerity in your eyes, that you did love me.
I wanted to believe that you could love me,
yet you kept leaving; kept saying and doing the vilest things to me all
in loves hollowed name. Still,
I loved you so much.
If you needed to hurt to feel alive,
I would have let you wear my heart like a shield on your sleeve.
Because I loved you.
I loved you even when you cheated, when you lied, when you loved other people.
I loved you every time you came home empty handed, yet somehow
weighed down by more regrets then when you had left.
I loved you even when you forgot to love me.
And I never loved you more than I did the day I left you,
never had I loved you more than when I decided not to love you at all. ”
I deserved to be loved by you, or by myself.
Rain Rikiya . 3 , 3 , 1:07AM
0“This isn’t the pain I had read about in novels. This pain isn’t just in my mind, this pain isn’t physical. This is a soul-aching pain, something that is ripping me apart from the inside out, and I don’t think I can survive it. No one could.”
3
Blooming buds the strength
We need right now so deeply
Beauty undeterred unapologetic
Springing forth with eager praise
For sunlight in their youthful days
Energetic outstretched arms
Reaching for affections glow
And in return a crown bestowed.
- Vagabond Prophet
Thanks for the prompt ‘delicate blossoms’ from @ragewrites
0I gaze at your picture ever so often
But truth be told my love for you starts to feel like a coffin
The rare occasions we speak I pray for an answer
A plan, a confession of love
That you will make these dreams come true
Free yourself like a dove
Yet I feel the hesistation
Heavy like dew on your tongue
You don’t want to lose them
You think I’m too young
You’ll break my heart won’t you?
And I’ll let you
Until I go numb
1Do you remember me
before I was haunted by the ghost
behind my shoulder?
(i can’t see her but i know she’s there)
I think I was taller.Or maybe shorter.
I didn’t check then,
and there are no marks lining
my kitchen doorway to compare.No, I remember now.
I was smaller, but my back didn’t
curve quite so much. And I could
look you in the eye.
(don’t look)But the ghost is watching now
and she doesn’t let me walk with the same conviction.
(i looked arrogant, didn’t i?)
Not without one, two, three glances over my shoulder
and another to the left and right.
(it’s rude to stare)Yesterday, when I was sleeping,
she told me you were there.
That you saw me: mouth open,
legs splayed, and I wasn’t even wearing my cute pajamas.
(the matching ones without the holes in the sleeve)
I woke up but you were gone.
I changed for you anyway.
(you’re still leering)She keeps telling me awful things, the ghost.
But I still dress up for her.
(my smile doesn’t look too forced, does it?
i’ve had practice)
I miss her absence; before she whispered
those meantrue rumors.
(you didn’t even look at me then)Still, I think she has the right idea.
Don’t you think the whole ghost thing has its perks?
No one looks at her, not ever.—
i don’t know who the ghost is but i wish she’d stop staring | d.m.
0
Finding out
your intuition,
your gut,
was
unfortunately
exactly
right
about someone
you loved.
In stories of myth,
legend and in many religions,
you are supposed
to keep walking or running,
but never
look back.
Now,
I understand why.
The truth is waiting
to turn you to stone,
to salt,
to an animal that is hunted
and gutted,
to a meal for a devouring beast.
Better to walk on in the dark
and not unleash
the cruelest thing
we cannot make up,
the truth.
I will die,
a little,
but I will come back
more beautiful
and horrifying to anything
that tries to lure me back
into losing my way
and becoming
the moral of a story;
this is what happens
when you are true
to yourself.
@genvieve-of-the-wood April 3, 2020
4It’s 2am.
I’m alone.
I have been for quite some time now.
I miss your touch.
I miss your smile.
I miss you holding me.
I miss being with you.
I need you.
It’s 2am.
And I’m alone.
1True love never sails on smooth seas
It goes thru tempests every now and then
It all depends on how you want to take it ahead
Whether you want to leave the ship and run away
Or
Stay there and face the storm
True love never cares for distance, time, problems or any issue.
It only cares for the heart on the other side which is beating for it.
0why can’t it last forever/ like I wish it could/ I would exist within it/ if I knew I would/ wake up in tomorrow/ but I’m always ahead of myself/ such is the beautiful sorrow/ if only I could ask the clock/ for a few seconds to borrow/ lost within my own shadow/ like a game show/ that I’ll never win/ I would start/ if I knew where to begin
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