#spilled poem Tumblr posts

Classic rock makes me sad.

It reminds me of short lived happy times,

Like when my mother used to dance with us to

Poison in the kitchen, and I didn’t realize how

Much she hurt and how she coped with alcohol.

I think of nights where she wouldn’t come home,

And I’d cry because I didn’t want to sleep alone.

How I looked up to her,

only for her to stop hugging and loving me like she should.

How she didn’t protect me from all the hurtful things I was fed by my grandmother.

I think of her drunk on the porch wanting to kill herself, and how I just walked away.

I miss my mother that danced in the kitchen.

i’m terrified about hands already, more terrified that i want to kiss her her, her— would she kiss back? would she stomach it, or would the kiss end with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen, blue/green something sick in the back of my mind, a hiss nameless, with the certainty that i know what it is

i know what it is. it's— a storm. a cry? the feeling in the back of your throat when you press your fists to your sides, bleeding half-moons that won’t wane no tides to float you home. it’s the shamed prickling of a slap that i could ever have dreamed looking at a curved moon that she would kiss me and that people wouldn’t care too much

(everybody cares too much)

There are things the heart knows that the mind cannot even fathom…

We’ve got the right words

At the wrong time

Rare

We rarely talk,

We barely even exchanged words,

Once forgotten yet again,

But you can’t even see my pain,

But what did you even gain?

Throughout the day i seek your light,

Surround me are problems i cannot fight.

We rarely even say goodnight…

Originally posted by soft-capricorn

I’m taking it day by day

I miss you, I really do

I still remember our first date

Laughing over sneaked in vodka

And that quick kiss at the end

I keep going over and over the days I spent with you

Fingers intertwined

I miss your warmth, I miss your touch

I miss your voice above it all

We made plans for the future

What am I gonna do with those?

I miss you baby, I miss you so much

How can you lose feelings just like that?

Will you ever come back?

Please come back

I miss you

I still love you Kavit Shah

Love — it fades. But it takes time to finally disappear. To finally heal. So grab any chances while it’s still there — beating and craving for your presence.

— m.m.

And for you I wait,

staring in the distant green,

until you’re back in my arms.

• Our strength grows out
• of our own weaknesses.
• Semjase 17: 39 pm

For all intents and purposes

Our differences remain

Over hills and valleys

Wars fought for all the same.

A sense of tolerance hoped for

That once we did achieve.

Or was it all a surface act

And down below the greed

Hid the vile viewpoints once more

And left all bereft of need.

The pressure grows to building

And all at one will pop.

And then where will the earth be?

A vile and squirming blob

Honour, love and honesty

Happen in all small ways

But how often are such things

Shown grand upon the stage.

Until a change of production

Cherishing different values dear

Our world will eat itself

Again, again each year

Here this call then all of you

And think again each act

Build your life as solid, a kind, inspiring pact.

Spiral happiness higher, interrogate the fact

That wanting is our basic state

What do you think to that?

For want of you,
I shall not shy away
from even the crumbs
on your fingertips
even a single speck of
dust
if it brushes against your tenderness
is as sweet as nectar
against my lips

-Hunger pains, Kelsey Ray Banerjee

i’m happy for you. and i will continue to say that until i mean it. i will repeat it to myself like a mantra every time you tell me about her. i will do so until my heart doesn’t ache when i see your eyes light up at the mention of her name. i will do it until i am no longer in love with you.

- l.r // even if that means saying it for the rest of my life

I’ve been doing a lot of day drinking which leads to 5:00 pm deep thinking. The what ifs popping up and being inundated by another shot of tequila. Your name pops up in my mind and then ten minutes later on my phone… fuck. I did it again. “I know you think I’m desperate but I’m just drunk.” I throw my phone on the other side of the bed exasperatedly. The “ding” quickly forces my head off the pillow so I can ungracefully yank on the sheets to retrieve my phone once again. “I can slide by later tonight.” This isn’t what I desire but I need you in some capacity. I take one last victory shot and pass out. I know I’ll be pissed at myself later. But for now, this is my peace.

-ka

.

I am home,

Alone,

Laid off in

This pandemic.

I am

Worried about

The world -

About you -

You are so

Far away yet,

I feel I could

Touch you

With my fingertips

And every

joke you make

To try to cheer me up

Brings a quiet

Tear to my eye

And stones

To my heart

And I worry

And I worry

And I worry

.

I would’ve love to meet you elsewhere. In a place where we wouldn’t be both scared of accepting how we feel. That then, we will understand how love isn’t about beautiful beginnings and happy endings. That sometimes, it happens in betweens.

we were somewhere else // ma.c.a

I’m not hard to love
I’m hard on myself

— Mandie

Gazing narcissists cannot resist,

Admiring the two-faced affections

Of their own rippling reflections,

While drinking from vernal pools

Whirling with whispering echoes

Of loved ones eternally disdained.

Lingering in lonesome glades,

Hanging our huddled heads in shame,

Life lessons we must learn again –

Vanity, humanity and mortality

Are facets of reality testing our will;

We are all fragile daffodils, straining

To raise our dainty coronas to the Sun.

Thinly-fleshed tepals frayed and bruised

From pollen grains and drops of dew,

Stifling our triumphant trumpets that once blew.

Some bells will crumple and fold

With the weight of the turbulent world,

Dully clanging as the death knell tolls.

Alas, when the reaper’s book is closed

And town criers have stopped taking score,

The hunters who survive the spring mist,

Will sound their enduring chimes one more.

© Copyright 2020, By Briar Moon