Angel 🖤🌚🖤

I’ve been busy with Tumblr lately! I guess it’s time to leave instagram, though? 🤔

LOL 😂

Anyway, this week has been quite rough , exciting and disappointing yet here I am, still thankful ‘coz I’m still alive, btches! (if u know what I mean 🙄)

F*ck all the plans that didn’t work out and f*ck myself because I kept on relying and believing that things will turn out the way I wanted it.

Yeah. Just f*ck myself. F*ck my attitude. F*ck me.

More switch coming soon because I’m old 👵

I feel suffocated. I feel like I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here. I try to let this motivate me, to inspire me to work and get good grades and then a job and then i would be able to go anywhere i would please to go. But it does not, it just reminds me of how far i am, how impossible it seems. Slowly, i feel my sanity slipping away.

Title: Everyday thoughts.

By: @jfloatinginspace

humanity in love

i’ve been thinking about how we usually end up being used by people. the human being is someone who seeks for his own welfare or prosperity. then, when could we know that someone is doing something just because he is being driven by the concept of love or free will? how could we know that what he is doing for me is not merely because he is forced or because his goal is to receive something in return? it is a question that directly overwhelms our feelings, and our own need to feel especially loved by the other person. it is like a loop. thousands of questions comes up to my mind when thinking about this. is it possible to feel real love? is it possible to notice it from other person? are we really able to put aside our needs for someone else? does someone get tired of loving even if it is what he have been searching? the concept of loving someone is something that scares me and i ask myself if i would be able to have so. that there is someone capable and willing to love me as such for so long, i feel it so difficult… that he does not get bored and puts up with me day after day… 

l'unico modo esatto di misurare alcune cose

è capire che non hanno

una misura

Standing at the garden gates,

I look for your trace.

I know that you won’t come around,

But I do it just for our sake.

I feel like I betrayed you,

I don’t know why I feel this way?

You’re not even mine now,

What’s the use of feeling the pain?

I wish you just said the words,

That I could never say.

But now there’s nothing left.

Just the piercing voice that it was just a mistake.

I’m sitting on the edge of the cliff, I’m searching for myself in this messy world.

Both the words and art are mine 💕 @roviezworld

Ich bin wie ein ausrangierter Zug auf dem Abstellgleis: Niemand will mich haben, aber man will mich auch nicht einschmelzen, da ich vielleicht irgendwann nochmal von Nutzen sein könnte. Also lässt man mich da stehen und langsam verrosten.

it’s a poetry kind of night.
life’s been hard,
and the starlight just
hasn’t been bright enough lately
but i’m alone,
and it’s quiet.

the clock is ticking,
the seconds going by
but the moon is frozen
and the stars don’t twinkle.

it’s a poetry kind of night.
the soft crackle of the fire
beckons.
connect, reflect, heal.

sink in comfort
and listen to your heart pound
while the words soothe your pain.

it’s a poetry kind of night
and i’m alone.

Here they are those huge ladies
of Victoria, human sequoias
tall and gifted, blonde  women.
With their husbands 4WDs,
humongous just like them and
born from gold.

It’s a Thursday’s shopping,
supermarkets at the ready
overflowing with people and
goods.  Back and forward shop
assistants scatter around.

At 3:00pm on the dot there is
very little merchandise left,
trolleys parked in chaos here
and there. Car boots full to the
brim with fruit and veggies,
meats, fish and frozen foods.

They warm up those diesel 
engines  and, after a while,
leave in numbers. Are happy
and contented  the great 
women of Victoria. 

Liza’s Symposium // a poem inspired by Nancy Garden’s Annie on My Mind

your hair made stars

of the snowflakes

that dusted it

i distantly remember

when you used to call me

your snow angel

i fall back

into the untouched sheet of white

to make angels of us,

who’d never make it to heaven

we never wished for immortality

and yet we are forced to walk

step after step

after step

until we can walk no longer

i miss

walking by your side

I’m not scared of the 13

He’s a good friend of mine

Kisses me and engulfs me with kundalini

dare to dream

they say

so i dared

but all i was left

was in a state of despair

Let us not ponder on the past,

For our future is brighter than the stars, my dear.

I sense wonder in your sorrowful eyes and longing in your gaze.

Allow me to pick up your burden,

To give your tired shoulders a long-awaited rest.

r.r.t

After all these years,

You finally came running to me.

After I yearned for your hug and kisses,

After I dream almost every night how would it feel,

I can now finally say, it feels’ surreal.

When I stopped wondering

how would my hand fit with yours,

Here you are now,

Holding it without wanting to let it go.

When I imagined myself hugging you

while crying my heart out,

I am now pouring it out—

with pure love and joy.

All I did is to despise you for years,

Swearing that I won’t run into you

when you came knocking on my door.

But it feels like my tummy will explode

because of the words I just swallow.

The moment you told me who you are,

I rushed towards you to the point

that I almost break my toe.

I told myself that the moment

You ask for my forgiveness

I will slap your thick face

With the words that will make your heart bleed,

But it ends up begging you to stay longer with me.

I believed I loathed you for being a liar

and for turning your back on me,

Just like how courage the dog

Hide under his master’s petticoat,

Afraid of some commitment ahead—

Hating you for being such a coward.

But I can’t utter a single word

and just sob like a baby wanting to suck her thumb.

I always feed my heart with hatred,

asking God to make you suffer,

For me to be satisfied and stop crying at night.

I told myself that I will not beg

for you to choose me this time

but here I am now pleading—

Losing my self-control and pride.

I thought it would be easier for me

to shoo you away but I am now being a leash

And keep you by my side,

Scared of losing you again.

I told myself, “I never loved him.”

Since I never had a chance to see your face.

Yet, the moment I saw you—

How our face resembles,

The same smile,

and Similar gestures—

It makes my heart speak

and say “I love you, pa”.

—Camilla

Dark red lipstick suits your heart shape lips,

The way you make your eyes looks’ smokey,

Compliments your deep and intimidating eyes.

I like how you curl your long-jet black hair,

And the way it bounces as you walk your way to me.

The way you dress so extravagant

And how you pair it with pumps

Make you look like a fashionista

in some high-end fashion magazines.

You look like someone who lost her way home

and make every corner in this city

her stage to do her unique style of the catwalk.

The way you wear body con dresses

that emphasize your curves

Knocks me off my feet.

You awaken my deep buried soul,

and I begin to wonder how to make you fall.

The way you paint your nails with neon

And add some little glittering diamonds

Catches the eyes of every passer

as you walk down the city.

I am so sure that every girl in this city envy you.

Your pretty face looks so perfect

that some people think

that you undergo plastic surgery.

Your look so high maintenance

and I’m glad it makes man around you

Feel so small and intimidated.

The way you roll your eyes in every boy in town

Makes me feel so ecstatic because I’m the only one

Who you let to see how lovely your smiles are.

I just laugh their negative words off

every time they warned me how dangerous

It could be the moment I let myself fall.

It makes my heart skip a bit every time

You tell them that you are mine,

That a very high maintenance girl

Owned by a boy who lives downtown.

But my lady, you don’t need any of those.

I like how dark red lipstick suits your lips

But your pinkish lips makes me crave for it.

I like how you play with your eyeshadows,

But you don’t need that because your thick and long

eyelashes will play its role.

I’m addicted to your deep brown eyes

The way you look at me makes me shiver—

In a very good way.

You don’t need to curl your hair,

I love how it plays with the wind

Every time you dance with the rhythm.

You don’t need to dress too much

Just to make you feel brave and protected.

You don’t need to wear those pumps

Who always makes your feet hurt

just to make you feel high and expensive.

I will stay by your side to protect you,

so you don’t need to act so brave

‘coz baby I’m here for you.

I will lift you when you feel down,

I will make sure you feel worthy and loved.

So you don’t need to hide beneath those wear ups.

You don’t need to wear those skimpy dresses

just to hide how scared you are

when you were abused.

You don’t need to keep your nails long

And paint it with vibrant colors

Just to make yourself look harmful and dangerous.

You don’t need to pretend to be someone you were not.

You don’t need to put on a lot of masks

Just to hide what you truly feel inside.

You won’t feel lonely anymore

Because I’m here with you

I will like and support you in your ways

To make yourself better

but you will no longer need to pretend

since your saving grace has arrived.

“Pretty you”

-Camilla

Así…

Y así llegó y así se fue
era tan hermosa y especial.
Dejó en mi alma una herida que
no ha sanado hasta hoy.

Y así llegó y así se fue,
fue un suspiro angelical.
Llegó sanando mi dolor
y fue una historia sin igual.

Y así llegó y así se fue…

Adembot

You don’t condescend me

You smile at me as I speak

I ramble about politics or some obscure thing

That you know is important to me

And as a the words rush out of my open mouth

On my slowly redding face

My widened eyes catch you gaze

And you look at me in way

I’d never imagined I’d be seen

Your seem

Interesting, or impressed, or intrigued

You think I’m smart

I never thought a boy would think I’m smart