i miss you everyday. at first i thought that i’m fine but fuck, i miss you everyday. especially when i cook myself dinner and i remember how it used to be for two instead of for one. especially when that one fucking song gets played on shuffle but i’ve got no one to dance with. especially when that silly tv show is on and i’ve got no one to cuddle up with on the sofa. especially when my family’s fighting and i want to escape but i’ve got no where to go and no one to call.
i miss you in the bad days, the good ones too. i miss you at parties and at home. i miss you being there for me when no one else would. i miss you everyday and it fucking sucks.
- i miss u 24/7 (@ur-always-onmymind, 30.03.20)
0Withered is the soul
Of the untouched lover
Whose lips stay puckered,
Waiting for another
Bitter is the soul
Of the jilted partner
Whose heart stays shattered,
As they walk farther
0Everything with him was perfect. I said it myself: this feels surreal. This was short-lived because now, reality is settling in. Along with all the problems that follow. Things have plateaued, and I feel him slip away from my fingers more and more each day.
I didn’t foresee this heartbreak. I wasn’t prepared.
0Was I smothering you? Was she your breath of fresh air? Were you suffocating without her?
I hope all of your answers are yes.
Because if they aren’t, then I’ll know for sure that she meant nothing to you and that can only mean that I meant nothing too.
—did you love me or was that just another lie?—
.L.m.P.
0I was numb when you told me what you did.
I’d give anything to be that numb again.
Everyone talks about heartache, but that doesn’t even begin to explain what I’m feeling.
It’s more than just my heart aching.
My entire being is aching.
My head. My bones. Even my nerves are raw, exposed and fuck they ache.
—was she worth all of this pain?—
.L.m.P.
0If ever we fail to make it until the end, please promise me that you would hate me.
Swear to me that you’d throw all our love in the bin and remember only our bitter memories. Promise me that you won’t feel sad thinking about me, and that you’d never stay up a single night longing for my call and yearning for my kiss.
Promise me that you’d tell me how much you despise me or how much you regret loving me.
Tell me all the misfortunes I brought in your life. Tell me I only made you miserable. Tell me you don’t want me back.
Even if you have to lie.
Because if you won’t, I’ll probably keep holding on to a hope that there’s still love inside you that misses me. And no matter how far-fetched and ridiculous that sounds, I’d always believe in it.
So, please promise me you’d push me away and shut the door tight, so that I won’t have to chase you and make a fool out of myself.
—Nadine Lacuarta
0feelings from december
We never said “I love you,” I just kind of figured it went unsaid. I honestly thought that he loved me and that I too was falling, but not quite “in love” yet. That is, until he lost all feeling for me. All but negative emotions that is. You see, it’s like you’re on one of those festival rides that goes all the way up then it drops you and you’re falling, the adrenaline is rushing, emotion out of your control and then without cease or warning it rips up and snaps your spine in half along with all of your other internal organs.
1
I was about 3 years old in this picture but, I remember this Easter Sunday. I remember that yellow and white checker dress that I loved. I remember that pink rabbit and how sleepy I was outside taking that picture with the sun in my face and the flash of the camera. I remember the other picture I took squatting down with my dress draped over me and the rabbit sitting in front. My eyes were closed in that picture. I literally looked sleep. I think I went to sleep in my slip after the photo session. My older sisters took the pics while my mother watched. My younger sister had the same dress but a different rabbit. Her stuffed rabbit was yellow. I liked mine better because he was pink. LOL! My dad was probably in the house watching westerns or reading the paper. We took pictures with our Easter baskets that day too. Somewhere in this ramble, there’s a point.
0¡Cuánto subestimamos el contacto físico con quienes amamos!
A veces un abrazo, un beso, o tan solo un apretón de manos bastan para mejorar nuestro día, para darnos fuerzas y esperanza. ¡Qué lástima que tuvimos que carecer de ello para saberlo apreciar!
1Do you know that feeling where you were writing or reading poetry and then came back to normal writing/ reading and everything is confusing because your mind is reading it in rhythms and sometimes add words that aren’t there to make them rhyme?
Cause I do that all the time; and confused, I am.
0I let you in…then I pushed you out. I kicked you when you were down and I thought you would still be around…
1i saw you for the first time in months and i wanted to say “hi, i missed you and i love you so so much,” but i didn’t have the right to say that anymore. instead i feigned a smile and said a simple “hello.”
you glanced at me for a moment, said my name, and turned away.
it’s stupid really, but i don’t like the way you said my name. it sounded so strange and foreign and it didn’t feel right because you’ve never called me by my name before. it was always some strange nickname that was so sweet and cheesy to the point that it was vomit-inducing. i‘d roll my eyes at you and brush it off, but as silly as those nicknames were, i loved them almost as much as i loved you.
- you called me by my name and that’s when i knew i lost you.
74Still stuck on a love that ended years ago, still wondering when I can have you back. Still craving the curve of your back. Still needing you. B may be the first letter of your name but I still don’t know what to B with out you. Still pathetic without you. Still yearning for your light, still hoping you would fight, for me. I guess it was never worth it.
I hope you’re doing well.
-m.n
0
