~Ernest Hemingway 💛

A mix, a match
you’re always a toss up
Play any which way
I’m not at all straight

Twisting what we’re told
life tries to become
Something square or dumb
left to be deconstructed

While muffling my
uncontrollable laughter
As you do sometimes too
they say it’s close to crying

Nothing’s out of the question
is this the same as hiding
Who’s running with a joke
we keep on the inside

Will it lead to the verge
of a choked back breakdown
Why make a bigger deal
than necessary now

Realizing quickly
our version of happiness
Falls flat for some people
ridiculously

It’s such a crazy state
there’s no sense in asking
What you do with those tears
when they well in the throat

Mine die at the source
here from holding them in
If it wasn’t so stupid
maybe we’d have no need

For a foolproof put-on
this I can ensure
It shouldn’t be serious
just in case I’m a bore

Stretchy as a smile
I love to look at yours
For me there’s usually
a less obvious sign

You give with no words
we could crack up together
What I’m thinking exactly
coming out sort of odd

A release or retreat
no one notices anyway
Hysterical over
a short-lived escape

From the sad world around us
put off as we leave
The wrong place yet again
never quite the right moment

A bit, a piece
really normal for us
Can’t contain it any longer
you’re funny like that.

Types of people - my favourite songs

They just have a vibe ok

Teeth, 5sos - the smell of hair products, big hoop earrings, smacking gum, bold colours, has a playlist for every mood, listens to the ‘bad bitch’ one daily, unpredictable, the bad influence friend, backcombing, chain jewellery

Kiwi, Harry styles - rolled eyes, oversized suit jackets, always on their phone, follows drama like the news, always in and out of relationships, bad decisions, loudest person in a room,long Snapchat stories, random outbursts of energy

Body talks, the struts - flirting, smokey eyes, overdressing for everything, hair flicks, amazing at makeup and can put an outfit together like a pro, thrives at night, fancy cocktails, drunk dancing, giggles, heartbreaker, fuzzy memories

Checkmate, Conan grey - whispered confessions, letting the phone ring out, can find out anything about anyone, petty af, is in a million group chats , smarter than they look, wont take shit from anyone, singing to yourself

Purgatory.

I’m sorry

but I am

on a goddamn

mission

not to feel-

this cloudy

headed

symphony

somehow

like a gift

from the gods

against both

me and their

likely better

judgement.

—

I wanted you

all the time.

There has

never been

an ending,

just tearful

goodbyes

and sadder

hellos. Guilt

is just shame

if you’re

doing it right.

—

Are you

listening?

I was never

really

interesting.

I only wanted

to be.

“You told me you’d always be here if I needed you, but now it’s 2am and I needed you more now then ever but you’re not here.”

— I tried to reach out, but I wasn’t going to beg you to stay

i am not all that i appear to be.
i am not made of purely flesh and blood -
of bone that breaks and a heart that loves.

i am the books that i read in the
silence of the night, tracing ink
on parchment with shaking
fingers as i yearn to uncover
what souls before i were
destined to write.

i am the music that lingers in
the air as i drift off to sleep,
haunted by emotions that
i have long since learnt
to bury deep.

i  am  the  worlds  that  i  dream
of when life is too full of pain,
creating unfathomable magic
and kindred souls, a reality
that i long to obtain.

i  am  the  memories  that  i  cling
to  when  my  heart  has  turned
cold,  reminiscing  in  the
warmth  of  stories  that
shall forever remain untold.

i am more than a reflection on
a mirror that was created to
deceive, i am more than
what your eyes perceive,
for they alone plant the
seed of doubt, and a
false perception will
let it flourish throughout.

i am all of the things that i
hold dear, i am the emotions
that i feel and the thoughts
that consume.

i am all that you never thought
i could be, because you were
unable to break through my
walls, to climb through the
debris left by those who
had sought to ruin me.

but if you had tried then believe
me you would see, that i am
not all that i appear to be.

— if only you had tried // via. @treasuredsouls​

    october 18th 2019

 dive me deep into the water
fish for feelings rising sea

 tear me part now why cry later
drift afloat sooth bury me

—don’t mind me the whailer waiter, let alone this body please

“DING DING DING”

I jumped. I hate how stores need a bell attached to the door. Must they know EVERY single person who enters? I mean, maybe at this store, they do. I don’t know the intensity of pawn shop shrinkage.

“Woah, dude check this out.” Rocket had already made it to the complete opposite side of the shop. I heard a jingling as I started to take a step, and as my intuition expected I landed on my face.

“Ay, you kids be careful over there!” The man shouted from behind the counter. He was a stout man with a come over. His whiskered lip slightly covered the cigar he was chewing on. He was wearing a stupid polo shirt, the color of throw up, accompanied by his ugly brown work boots, which were propped on top of the counter. He never looked up from his newspaper. For all he knew I could be shoveling arm fulls of merchandise into my bag. He’s usually too drunk to notice anyway.  

I changed positions from my knees to my ass, removing the bicycle chain that had somehow tangled itself around my ankle.

“Grif, what are you doing?”, a voice met my gaze. My best friend, Rocket, stood at the end of the aisle, looking down at me.

I jumped to my feet, once I got my bearings. Within a hop, skip, and a jump I was crashing into the shelf that he wanted me to see so urgently.

“It’s like a crystal point or something.” 

A shiny clear gem, that looked like a cylinder and a pyramid had a child, gleamed back at me. The tiny bit of sunlight that accidentally peeked through the black out blinds, had cast tiny rainbows all around it. A small piece of paper, lying to the left of it read:

Clear Quartz: amplifies any energy you put into it. Programmable.

“Programmable? What could that mean?” I looked at Rocket, but he returned my question with an unsure horizontal head shake.

–

Rocket smashed the crystal point onto the counter with confidence.

“How much?” I tried to mimic the confidence level.

Mr. Torez coughed as he struggled to get his burly feet down. As he sat forward, the smell of cheap whisky and marijuana leaked out from around the newspaper.

“Whatcha got?” he flicked his ashes at us.

“That watch” Rocket looked at me, gesturing to my bag. My dad had given me a watch earlier that day, that was supposedly gold, and supposedly four generations old, and supposedly worth a lot.

“Dude no” I pulled him away. “My dad would kill me AND you”

“Trade the watch, we’ll use the rainbow effect for our project, get an A, trade it back as soon as school lets out”

[ These are a couple of characters I created awhile back. At the time, I had big plans for them, but it’s been a minute since they’ve gotten any love. So meet Noah Griffin & Silas Rocket. ]

What do you think? Should I write more with them? 

Il difficile non è tanto vedere. È farsi vedere. Far sì che qualcuno i vfda. È una faccenda che riguarda tutti.

Tutti sappiamo che gli altri sono lì, tutti sappiamo che ci guardano, ma allo stesso tempo quante volte ci sentiamo invisibili, quante volte i nostri gesti sembrano inutili, le nostre parole mute: è così dannatamente difficile triavre qualcuno che, semplicemente, ci veda. Qualcuno che ci metta dentro il pezzo di mondo che i suoi occhi ritagliano ogni istante.

Be’, una volta che lo trovi, quel qualcuno, c'è solo una cosa che poi puoi fare: tenertelo stretto. Chiunque sia, da ovunque venga, qualsiasi cosa abbia fatto prima di passare dalle tue parti, fregatene. Se trovi qualcuno che ti vede, apri quegli occhi, ringrazia il cielo e fai altrettanto con lui.

— Enrico Galiano

We’ve been friends since teenage angst,

Play-hookie-days and staying up

Past late.

All our lives we’ve lived states away

But that has never changed

A thing. 

You’ve always been there for me.

Through my underage drinking, 

Secret keeping,

Our shared depression, our sinking

In the same, crashed-to-bits boat. 

Through 2AM over-thinking,

Or laughter, so loud, we’d

Wake our families from sleep. 

Through the boys (and the girls)

Who had no idea how to treat

Us. Had no idea

How to love. 

You’re the most genuine person

I’ve ever known.

Thoughtful, selfless, fighting through

Your own traumatic memories-

Just to be there for me. 

So I’ve spent weeks, trying

To compose this poem

In manner that lets you know

You’re never, in any lifetime- alone. 

A manner that lets you know

You will always have a home

In me. 

So friend, please take them:

I am giving you

The keys. 

Pen

“well, life is tough”

—no it ain’t.  

the universe be caring.
this planet be caressing.
corporate society is tough.

from life, we know: winter always turns to spring.
but this society makes most live in constant winter.
meanwhile not for themselves, but to cater the rich few.

bramble: noun, a prickly scrambling vine or shrub, especially a blackberry or other wild shrub of the rose family.

If you fail over something.

It’s okay if you want to stop for a while, it’s okay if your plan doesn’t go as expected, it’s okay if your success comes slower than the others, it’s okay if you want to cry, nobody is perfect. The most important is the lesson you’ve got and you are happy and grateful for everything you have now. But remember after that, you have to run towards your dreams again and pursue them with all your heart that you have.

— Rue’s universe.

Dear A,

Frankly I’m surprised. You had never been jealous, but perhaps distance unnerves the most resilient of us.

The thought of you being jealous over a figure so far-off it might as well be fictitious disturbed me.

But I will admit there was some sort of romanticised thoughts behind all this. There was the sort of sadness that bloomed in his veins that I’m more than attached to. He is on many levels different than you.

But I will cease spending ink on him. Perhaps it’s just a craze growing in the depth of my mind. Perhaps distance unnerved me more than I thought it did.

M.

Poetry Prompt October 18, 2019

Here it is, my first prompt!

Write a poem that is exactly 100 words long. 10 lines, 10 words per line. The word “complete” must appear in the poem once.

That’s it. That’s the prompt. The content and meaning is up to you.

Here are the rules:

- Write your poem in a post and tag #paigebrucknerprompts (do NOT send it to me in an ask or a message)

- I will reblog it on my page. Every month the prompt will change. I will not reblog poems from old prompts, so be sure to check my page to be sure you know the current one.

- If a new prompt appears and I haven’t reblog your poem, send me a message.

- If you have any questions, send me an ask or a message.

- Racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. will not be reblogged under any circumstances. I also will not reblog anything sexually explicit, excessively violent, or abusive.

- maps and nomaps are not welcome to participate.

A year ago you pulled me in

sweet lies or sweet nothings

a year ago you swept me up

I fell hard once again

a year later here I sit

empty promises with no meaning

The day you left,

I smiled but close to tears;

I clutched your soul before you left.

I’ll always have the memories that the world seemed to plant.

I think to myself a lot if you ever feel the same way I do. I cared too hard during our relationship but now that it’s over, do you finally care? I can’t help but wonder if your mind ever wanders enough to find me but I’ve figured I’m probably never thought of. Leaving myself hidden in your mind. While for myself, I try to do everything to avoid the thought of you but anything I think of it always finds a way to come back to you. Which leaves yourself always present within my mind. 

The truth Is I still miss you

I still think about you and cry

Because I remember the memories

That you gave me

And left me with

Because you couldn’t stay

Could you

Could you