They are building altars on bloodied grounds and calling dead gods to bless purging promises they made in their name. They are cultivating hatred for melanin sundresses and rainbows. They are killing trees, making paper, and writing “save trees” on it. They are cutting the tongues that sing bard tales of a reality no one wants to know. They are playing blind man’s buff when my witches are hunted for their existence. They are listening to news plugged in their air pods on nights when my sisters’ screams are drowned under brutality, under voices who haven’t been told to shut the fuck up for too long. They are forwarding WhatsApp messages which are examples of “divide and rule policy” I wrote in my history exam. They are giving gender roles the colors of blue and pink but not entitlement to the humans who smile radiant but tired smiles even when you deny the existence of their identity. Your superiority complex makes me count my steps with every second I walk at night. Your God complex has forced me to be a refugee of Narnia.
Progressiveness is a censored joke in politics. Self-denial is the prettiest form of self-harm. How do you breathe when the air is so toxic? How do you nurture innocence when the clouds are sending Morse codes of this dystopian reality? How? How? Hope. Hope.
Because hope is a scab you scratch till it bleeds, because uncertainty is the debris of hope, because you need to survive and baby, hope gives you enough patience to survive this reality that you desperately wish was your nightmare.
You breathe because the air is drugged with hope. You breathe because “hope is the only thing stronger than fear”. You breathe because your survival is hope, your survival is rebellion. Little rebel, burst your bubble, and fight. Fight for your survival. Fight for hope. For hope. For hope.
//“excerpts from the pandemonium of my mind”// enigma (instagram)3not being able to fall asleep because your mind is full and cloudy is a type of pain that is often forgotten until u find yourself clenching your eyes shut and holding ur chest and begging your mind to just calm down because it will be okay eventually you just have to sleep please please please let me sleep
6right when i stop caring about you, i start to give a fuck again.
but what that actually means is that i never stopped giving a fuck about you in the first place.
i only subsided my feelings to comfort yours.
to not lose our friendship.
you don’t spend your nights thinking about me like i think about you;
and i guess we know why that is.
as i deprive myself from sleep wondering…
you spend your nights thinking about her.
and her isn’t me.
her is she.
and she is someone who doesn’t deserve you.5Lately,
I’ve started living for things that help me see things in a different way.
Things that help me look forward to another day.
There are many things that do that,
I’d dare say.
But to me, they are the arts.
They are the very things that keep me alive.
Music, art, writing and all things alike.
Try finding what you like for a change.
I may not know what it is for you,
But it is passion that keeps me sane.
LMCP
Start living.
2a square has 4 sides
a circle has none,
a triangle has 3
— 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 1
By yours.
0V: i want to tell you something
Since we have been friends
For almost a year and 8
Months now
S: sure bro, c'mon you are free to
Ask me anything
V: please don’t stay mad at me
S: c'mon bro it can’t be so
V: I love you ❤️
S: oh really, I love you too ❤️💙
V: please am serious this time
Its not all about love but my
Feeling for you…. it’s
Becoming much than I can
Explain
Please I want to know in
Return do you feel same love
I feel for you
S:. C'mon bro, I love you just as
Brother and nothing else
May sound silly 😜
But for she to reply this way would break my heart
Just imagining confusing my feeling for her 💔💔💔
0- I held her after
- For a long while
- All of the things I would have liked to say stuck in my throat
- Ready for me to choke
- I asked you what you were thinking
- A pause
- I would like to say that pause made my gut wrench
- That I was terrified to hear your answer
- But I was ready for anything
- Any string of words that would make or break my emotions
- But before I could overthink my question that lingered in the air
- You spoke first
- What are you thinking
- I said as our bodies clung to each other and our hearts beat erratically to their own rhythm
- It felt like us
- It felt like us
- The simplicity of it
- It hadn't felt like us in a long time
- And I missed us
- I would go looking for us in the darkest parts of the night
- In the few memories we shared
- In my dreams where I could have you
- And in the nightmares that would pull you away from me
- I couldn't say what I wanted to say
- It didn't just feel like us
- It felt like home
- My body somehow became even closer to yours
- Though I haven't felt like I used to in months
- The jaded words I've coined for you
- The lies I've told myself about you
- All crumbling
- And the girl who adores you feels your soft skin in her hands
- Your hair wrapped around her fingers
- I've controlled her for so long
- But she was bursting at my seams
- Words found in poetry ready to leave her mouth
- Words that have all been true
- Hurt her in the end
- Not this time
- Not now
- But how she adores you
- I can't deny her these simple pleasures
- So the fingers tracing your back
- And the lips softly kissing you are what I will allow her to give you
- She cannot be broken anymore
- She cannot hear your words and trust you
- Believe you
- Think they are everything
- When they were just for you and her
- In that moment
- Where it felt like us
1“You just get so out of touch sometimes, you know?? I know cause I’m you..”
Got to get into the motion of taking things as they come, that and letting go.. affirm and return - eUë
3“Sly devil’s be reversed into angel-like dreams like ice cream minus the dairy.. she, the her that hurts but still meets life like a fairy.”
Devil’s once been angel’s, now tears and frowns a la modé.. princess mode meets cold, beast? Nah, try beast between the sheets.. damn, my nipples are getting cold - eUë
1
DearLoveDearloveI want this love
to grab hold of me
When I’m losing touch
with the singing rain
I need a love
that doesn’t
shake me
like a bad dream,
but makes me
Feel as if I’m living
A Fantasy wide awake—
Only this kind of love
doesn’t change who I am,
but rather shapes my mind
into something it
never knew it could
My Dear,
Show me a love
One can’t feel in another lifetime—
A love that doesn’t lead before it
follows
But takes off
When it has wings
I want this love to take its time with me
Like slow deep breathes
As if it has until infinity
My dear…
All I ask is that you show me a love
That doesnt cry before it smiles..
And I’ll show you an unconditional love that will never be used
against you as a weapon.
0
