Got in an argument last night with my sister. Apparently my parents weren’t abusing ands my childhood was a lie.
My dad coming home drunk, getting into physical fights with my mom, yelling, and punching holes in walls and doors wasn’t abuse.
My mom smacking us upside the head with a brush because we wouldn’t hold still wasn’t abuse.
My mom making us take off our pants and underwear so she could smack our bare bottoms wasn’t abuse because she was having a bad bipolar day.
My dad made me feel like I could never measure up to his expectations. But that’s not abuse because he never actually called me names or said I was worthless or stupid.
My dad put so much pressure on me that I was scared to fail and disappointment him, but that’s not abuse because again, there was no name calling.
My dad would yell if I didn’t do things his way and would easily become frustrated because I couldn’t get something right the first couple of tries.
My dad gets drunk and airs out dirty laundry and makes my mom feel incredibly small in front of strangers but that’s not abuse.
My dad would get mad if we were teenagers just being teenagers. He would make us feel guilty if we were sitting on our butts when we got home. He made all of us feel like we were walking on eggshells, but that’s not abuse.
My dad demands to go through my mom’s phone, shows up randomly and checks the house to see if my mom has other male suitors calling, he gets mad and defensive anytime she wants to talk about something they need to work on in their marriage, he gets mad at her if she’s sitting down when he comes home, he gets mad if she won’t answer her phone right away, but that’s not abuse.
Telling your children who they should date and who they should marry isn’t abusive. Setting high expectations and getting mad when your children fail isn’t abusive. Shoving religion down your children’s throats, saying masturbation is a sin, saying sex before marriage will ruin your wedding night, putting pressure on your kids to not have sex, telling you kids if a man touches your private parts, you’ll get pregnant, telling your kids to marry a Christian because if you don’t your marriage is doomed, making your kids feel dirty and wrong for experiencing sexual things before marriage, none of that is brainwashing. None of that is abuse.
I’m just overreacting. I’m just being sensitive because I spent 14 years with a boy who was mentally and verbally abusive, but my parents weren’t abusive. Yeah. Okay. They totally weren’t abusive.