Because, sometimes you need to take away pieces of yourself, bit by bit. You need to establish yourself as an individual again, who you were before, who you want to be now. You need to start being aware of your own strength and deny any other person to have power over you. You need to fight back with all that you have, no matter how long before you had given up, this is the changing moment, this is the time. Walk away, do better. Be a little selfish for once. Be a little more free for once. Be you, choose you. Because this life is yours, it’s about giving but not giving away of yourself.
- don’t give away too much of yourself no matter how good of a person you are
Her first touch,
butterfly kisses of spring on my skin,
hot like the heavy silence
just before the summer moonsoon,
triggered the insatiable thunder
that once lay dormant within me;
now, I know nothing, want nothing,
but need, unbashedly desire for Delilah
to take my curls into her hands,
do with them what she must,
for I am Carmen myself,
the sangria Spanish spilling
from my lips revealing my trust;
and so, I met her meaningful gaze,
filled with tenderness and titilation,
all sense of hesitation out the door,
the mortuus cool of my palm on
the slight curve of her face,
my body ablaze nonetheless.
-10:11 PM, another letter to perhaps send, 5/26/2020, A.D.
t.w/ writing update: “falling deeper”
- i have been writing more of my novel bits by bits. i love the feeling of missing your characters and refalling in love with them every single time ♡ asher and naomi are slowly learning more about each other and ahhh i love them! obviously i have to, i wrote them haha.
You know what’s weird?
How so many friendships and relationships fall apart because of this lockdown. But somehow we found each other and here we are calling at 4 am.
You know what’s weirder?
I would not want to do this with anyone else
Don’t let the people who abused your empathy take it away. I promise there are people who will give it back ten times over. Don’t let abusers take away that magnificent part of you.
We broke the rules
And we shouldn’t have
But holding you
Made it all worth it.
6 October 2017 at 23:25.
All I can think about
- Found a golden oldie in my phone notes // D.S
What do I want?
I’m 20 in 110 hours and 30 minutes exactly
I have no idea what I want
A question that’s been asked a thousand times over 2 decades
But i have no idea
Because we are meant to have a profoundly humble answer
I don’t want a house and a ring and kids
I want freedom
I want to live
I want to breathe a philosophy
Of love and passion and
I don’t know
I want to feel
The ocean air, the desert sand
Pouring rain in cities
My mother fears
And fiendish ways
I want to get shitty tattoos
Inhale alien food in an alien language
I want to dance and stomp and fucking scream
On table tops and mountain peaks
Get called freaks
I am going to.
- My completely unedited thoughts at 23:30, Tuesday 26th May 2020
Verdiğim değerin kıymetini bilmiyorsan,
Çektiğim siktire bozulmayacaksın….
Some start discussions
And others end discussions,
But most are smelly.
You won’t know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.