We understand sacrifice when we’re challenged by life’s circumstances to give up a valued concept, thing, or our time in order to be successful, help the people we love or make a positive difference. In the past, I’ve felt disconnected from the root of my first and early-life sacrifices.
Sure. I learned to sacrifice my time, budget, and choice of friendships in lieu of loneliness. I learned to sacrifice my time and energy to meet basic human needs for connection and survival. This sacrifice was my college experience.
In the long run, it resulted in a positive: An on-campus job where I learned how to personal train, and where I invested my free time into moving my body, fighting my stress, and coping with what felt like lingering feelings of depression and anxiety. When really, it was just the harsher aspects of my reality that let me know that I wasn’t as privileged as I use to be and that things had changed for myself and my family in terms of finances.
But then again, I remind myself that I’ve always known financial struggle. I’ve only ever known how to keep my head up for myself, how to take care of my mother mentally and emotionally, and how to draw firm boundaries between myself and my family so that their problems don’t overwhelm me. If I had a therapist, I already know what she would say regarding my problems in relationships.
For so long, I was so unaware of this and who I had become. Unaware of my struggles, forgotten in the past as I wanted to dump everything harsh about my life behind me as a naive and inexperienced eighteen-year-old. Sometimes I look back at the girl who arrived at college as someone more mature than the girl tested later on. Somehow parts of her remained, parts of her failed, and parts of her succeeded.
Towards the end, she came out as someone who was reacquainted with the more harsh realities of her life. There is not a need for pitty or comparison. To think that my problems exist and that yours don’t. There is no shame in where you come from, it is apart of who you are, but it is not your definition.
I believe that absolutely everyone should be able to cultivate positive relationships, to find true love in what they love: a career, in a partner, or both. I no longer think that these two things are mutually exclusive, as I used to believe. It felt like love came at a sacrifice in my life.
One love of a career needed to be separate from one love in romantic partnerships. It’s not enough to say, “balance,” but it is enough to not lose yourself in either of the two. It’s enough to have separation. To answer, this is what I do, but this is not who I am. He is who I love, but he is not who I am.
I felt like I had become the person that I was with. It felt like the qualities that I admired in them were the ones that I thought that I lacked. I will always believe in love no matter what, but now I am more aware of the likely possibility that emotions can fool us. They can allow us to repeat the unhealthy patterns that set us dead in our ways.
They say, take care of this person. Fix this person. Help this person. They’ll become better. They’ll be better. They’ll be who you want them to be, keep trying. These whispers, and these lies that your emotions tell you, are only a representation of experience without the brain compartmentalizing it as a pre-conditioned and learned experience.
We all go through life learning and believing that we need to make sacrifices in love to be happy. The moral is that no matter what, the sacrifices that you make should never be at the sake of lowering your bar of standards or your bar of happiness, or your bar of quality to maintain that person in your life.
We owe it to ourselves to understand that material wealth does not go as far as spiritual wealth. To maintain a balanced, aware, and insightful inner life is something that we should try to strive for every day, until we get better, until we improve in the ways we wish materially. Until we learn ourselves.
And when we reach that point, it will no longer be about reaching the end. It will be about who we have become along the way and in the process of reaching self-understanding and healthy practices for our mind, body, and life to continuing on as someone more authentic and more present.
✨A few years ago I felt inspired to create an album of writings set to music for the Fast. I wanted to be able to uplift friends and family during the fasting period. The CD includes a song for Ayyam-i-Ha. and there is also an instrumental version on the album for friends who would like to sing the song with their communities or children’s classes.
✨Link in bio to listen/download the album on my website.
I had a great time outdoors. I was in an all natural setting. I could almost hear the drums. Ancient. Grass. Earth. Trees. Locs. Similarities all natural. A connection. Air. The fire element saggie amazed at the beauty. All elements appear. As if a performance, welcome, entertain. Growth. Spiritually intune. A burning feeling. A feeling of never before. Am I having a spiritual connection? My Venus appearing with a side of 5th house on the side. Very happy and jovial. Music. To the heart beating with soul and passion. A fabulous pair. Let’s switch up. Leo ascendent playlist your time to shine I know you’ve been waiting for it. They reminisce over you.. oh childhood. A memory of childhood that I thought I forgot :o omg flashes of memory. I get so emotional when I remember things I thought I forgot. I had good childhood in the household. But why my memories fade ? Hmm. Maybe the more I grow in knowledge the more I remember .
Do we get stuck on an age ? Ever thought of it ? Like maybe in this dimension you’re 22 but really age 27 in this lifetime.
I am a lost soul wandering around in a corrupted world, filled with masked people, looking to be found. I sought advice from many who I thought could see but they were just as blind as me.
Once I searched inside myself all of it became clear, I was never really lost, I was just hiding due to fear, fear of revealing my true existence which was find as weird by those who don't understand.
That fear had formed year after year due to the elite who had entangled me in their web of traitorous lies. But little did they know that I was sent here to demise their wicked ways and to show my fellow earthlings that they too need not to hide.
That everyone must embrace the truth, no matter how painful and confusing they were.
I feel I am reliving my childhood. Fix what you can. Be yourself. Try something new. Relive your talents. Become you again. Retrain your soul to be kind and a giver. Change for the better for others and what’s healthy for yourself. Best way for me to do this ? To relive my childhood. Same area. People. Different story. Different look. Opposite. And similar.
Becoming easily offended facilitates a state of mind that is prone to manipulation. When we are upset, most of the time we aren’t thinking reasonably. It becomes difficult to see what is happening behind the veil of whatever is causing this inner friction, which is typically attempting to gain control over you.
This expression of frustration not only can end up causing suffering in ourselves and others, it leaves you powerless to the object of your offense. There is an incredible power in being mentally calm in tense situations.
Staying calm, you retain your power and control over what you do and how you react. In this way a choice can be made to either not engage with what is going on, or find a way to positively and productively maneuver through it.
You'all I have an amazing app recommendation for those who use (or would like start using) affirmations on their daily lifes.
The app is called “Subliminal messages” for android (this is the free version, there’s another one you have to pay for)
How it works?
It allows you to create up to 10 affirmations that will be popping up on your phone screen throughout the whole day and night (you can deactivate it whenever you want tho)
It gives you the option to modify the colours, the duration of the massage, the size of the letters and the frequency in which the messages appear. It also tells you how many times the message has popped up.
How it helps?
The great thing about this app is that you don’t even need to pay attention to the affirmations popping up, you don’t have to read it neither focus on it. The affirmations will slowly start being picked up by your subconscious mind and will start manifesting on your conscious mind.
We are practically the whole day on our phones, so what a better thing that use that time to better ourselfs.