Whenever I feel bad about my writing, I remember Stephanie Meyer, E.L. James, and Onision all have published books, and it simultaneously makes me feel better about the quality of even my worst work and feel great depression at the quality of what can be published. 💻📚
One of the funniest idiosyncrasies of Stephanie Meyer’s writing is that she’ll just add the oddest behaviors that completely pull you out of the writing as if they’re 100% normal. Like in The Host she just has men randomly miming tipping a hat and bowing at the waist and it is not commented on AT ALL, just matter-of-factly described.
#stephanie meyer#the host #i have been rereading all the ya i liked in middle or highschool #most doesnt hold up but the nostalgia factor is real
PLEASE someone give me a source. I want proof in the pudding evidence that tumblr discourse has ever spun so far out of the internet locale that someone really took the time to do this.
Also if you reblogged this post in full unironically pls stay away from me. I’m the big dangerous 19 year old anti your fandom elders warned you about and I’m not afraid to make the legends true
#the only cookie story I believe is when someone gave Brendon Urie cookies and after he ate some she informed everyone she put her hair in em #because panic fans are just like that especially back when it happened pre-2009 #if you’re a Stephanie Meyer type of aging up shipper you ought to be kept offline #all that tells me is you would ship the minor with the adult if it were socially acceptable to not age them up first #tumblr having a normal one again
Okay so for YEARS since I read Breaking Dawn... I mean it’s been what? 11 years since I read it? I have specifically remembered one detail because I didn’t understand it when I read it at age 13. I recently realized what it was, and finally got ahold of my book to go back and make sure I wasn’t fucking crazy and-
Ooh, this will be really interesting because I don’t really do a lot of re-rating, so I don’t know if I would really (re-rate). I love rereading, but usually I only reread books I loved or if I don’t remember much. I don’t reread to re-rate books.
So when I thought about books I would re-rate, I thought I would only have like 2, but I pushed out 4! Better than nothing, right?
Meeghan @ Meeghan…
In my version of twilight the main characters are not all white and Jacob is actually native and the bad guys are not almost all dark skinned as it was in the first movies thanks for coming to my ted talk, stephanie meyer didn't deserve rampant sexism but she was still super racist and that's fine to say so im gonna draw my twilight cast later
#the director wanted to cast poc in the movies but stephanie wouldnt let them #she also completely wrecked the quileute tribe with tourism and rewrites of their culture #so you know #your intellectual property is mine now meyer. especially Emmett and Jasper
*Disclaimer: This was spurred by my reading of Midnight Sun. Please indulge me... lol 🙄🧛♂️
This is a real thing though! An actual physiological reaction that some people (including myself) experience! And it is especially frustrating because people either don't take you seriously when you are mad, or worse, they believe you are crying on purpose to manipulate your way out of the argument or situation, when crying is the LAST thing you want to be doing right then!
The twilight movie WISHES that it had the vibes like the Coraline movie does￼
#Coraline#twilight#edward cullen#Neil Gaiman#stephanie meyer #finally realize that they have similar and yet #completely incomparable vibes #it’s clear one is better than the other #just something about the rain #also Coraline isn’t racist #kind of off-topic but if you ever want to see #an illustration of Black Coraline LMK
“...but grownups have a tough time believing, and I’ll tell you why. When they find out as kids that Santa Claus is a fake and Goldilocks isn’t a real girl and the Easter Bunny is bullshit- just three examples, I could give more- it makes a complex and they stop believing in anything they can’t see for themselves.”
Later has been sitting on my desk for several weeks, waiting for me to extol its virtues. Every time I’ve had a few minutes to blog, I’ve come up with a million other things to do. Oh, dishes? Yeah, better get those washed. We’re out of protein balls? Better make another batch. Oof, reallllly gotta get that laundry folded... sorry blog!
I’m not an idiot: I know I’ve been avoiding this blog because I’m bad at closure, and even worse at goodbyes. Not that this is the end... Steve’s next book is due to be published on August 3rd. And I’m sure there will be more books after that. But this is the semi-colon on what has been a very long and fulfilling project.
I have read several non-Steve books since finishing Later. I’ve read Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer. I was a huge Twilight (book, not movie) fan, and was really looking forward to coming back to an old, familiar series. But it was painfully long to read, and the world has moved on since Twilight. Since then we’ve had Fifty Shades, and all kinds of other romance tropes spawned by the Twilight franchise, and it’s almost quaint in its innocence.
I’ve also read The Perfect Marriage by Jeneva Rose. I’ll share my abridged Goodreads review with y’all: “Sometimes a book is so bad, it’s good. That’s exactly what The Perfect Marriage is. I lost count of the number of sharks this book jumped...This book was bananas. Like, super ripe, starting to smell bananas.”
And finally, I’m halfway through The Witch Elm by Tana French. This book might spoil me for anything else I read this year. Tana French is an absolute queen when it comes to setting, atmosphere and impending dread/doom. And in case you don’t believe she’s a queen, here’s Steve testifying to it.
So, that’s what I’ve been up to since Later. Oh, you want a review on Later? I suppose I can oblige. This is the third Hard Case Crime novel Steve has written; the first two were The Colorado Kid and Joyland. And I’d plop this one right in the middle of those two: I liked it more than Kid, but less than Joyland. Because... sentimental reasons.
Jamie Conklin has been able to see dead people since he was a little kid. He has horrible memories of seeing a bike rider that was hit by a car when he was small. And he was able to help his neighbor find his wife’s missing wedding ring, with a little help from her spirit. But his mom wants him to keep his talents a secret; until she needs him to bust out his skills to save her career. But his mom isn’t the only one that takes advantage of him. His mom’s old girlfriend, Liz, a disgraced police officer needs Jamie’s help with a bust that could set her up for life.
It’s a fast read, with plenty of suspense and enough supernatural elements to remind you this book isn’t all hard-boiled fiction, it’s also a Steve book. But in case you forgot, there was also a Shawshank prison reference. My favorite part of the book was when Jamie cited the Constant Reader mantra, “Books are a uniquely portable form of magic...” I’d recommend this as a beach read for any upcoming vacations you might have. And when you’re done, pass it along to a friend.
Total Wisconsin Mentions: 48
Total Dark Tower References: 76
Book Grade: B+
Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books
Doctor Sleep: A+
The Talisman: A+
Wizard and Glass: A+
Mr. Mercedes: A+
End of Watch: A+
Under the Dome: A+
Needful Things: A+
On Writing: A+
The Green Mile: A+
Hearts in Atlantis: A+
Full Dark, No Stars: A+
The Outsider: A+
The Bazaar of Bad Dreams: A+
If It Bleeds: A+
Just After Sunset: A+
Rose Madder: A+
Different Seasons: A+
Four Past Midnight: A+
Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+
The Shining: A-
The Stand: A-
Finders Keepers: A-
Bag of Bones: A-
Duma Key: A-
Black House: A-
The Institute: A-
The Wastelands: A-
The Drawing of the Three: A-
The Dark Tower: A-
Dolores Claiborne: A-
Hard Listening: B+
Nightmares in the Sky: B+
The Dark Half: B+
Skeleton Crew: B+
The Dead Zone: B+
Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+
Wolves of the Calla: B+
‘Salem’s Lot: B+
Song of Susannah: B+
From a Buick 8: B
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B
Sleeping Beauties: B-
The Colorado Kid: B-
Storm of the Century: B-
Everything’s Eventual: B-
Cycle of the Werewolf: B-
The Wind Through the Keyhole: B-
Danse Macabre: B-
The Running Man: C+
Dark Visions: C+
The Eyes of the Dragon: C+
The Long Walk: C+
The Gunslinger: C+
Pet Sematary: C+
Gerald’s Game: D
Lisey’s Story: D
The Regulators: D
The Tommyknockers D
So, this is it until August. I’ll try to pop in with the occasional book update or movie review. But I fear we’re nearing the tower, dear readers.
bad boy romances want sooo bad what jane eyre has. soooooo bad and you know what? they can’t fucking get it because they don’t understand why it WORKS
#mr. rochester's allowed to be an asshole in the beginning because bronte puts him through hell and a half later #like bronte KNOWS that this isn't a good relationship and so she puts them through the fucking wringer #both of them tbh but mostly mr. rochester #your bad boy with a dark past who's nOt gOoD for their longsuffering s/o needs a RECKONING FOR ALL THE SHIT THEY'VE PUT PEOPLE THROUGH #and i am NOT talking about... idk....... #a lightsaber duel halfway thru the third installment of a trilogy where he gets a pep talk from his dad whom HE killed #not talking about anyone or anything in particular #but i mean really fucking. SUFFER for what they did #i lose a lot of my charitability past 12 am so forgive me if this sounds harsh but LITERALLY #this is probably an unpopular opinion but: #i think writing a toxic relationship that later ends up working out... is fine #and not necessarily glorifying toxic relationships in general #as long as you put in the work of making the perpetrator b l e e d #and are committed to levying justice #it can work #jj abrams 🤝 rian johnson 🤝 stephanie meyer #(wanting what jane eyre has and missing the entire fucking point) #lol#jane eyre #obirain.txt #tag discourse
#I’m rly sorry if this isn’t the answer you wanted but it’s what I’ve got #to be frank I am not a fan of Stephanie meyer in general #all I really know is Leah got attacked by another werewolf(?) but idk #but I’m not the person to ask about twilight #I’m not an expert in werewolf media either #I just like monsters and monster women #mypost#asks
so here me out. my mom was reading a book the other day. and it was very obviously written by a man. specifically by a straight man that has never had sex.
it was supposed to be a murder mystery and one of the murder victims kept her purse in her vagina. a WHOLE F***ING PURSE IN HER VAGINA. it had her credit cards and id and money in it and she stashed all that in her vagina.
not only is that NOT sanitary—like seriously ew—it’s not even possible. as a proud owner of my own vagina, i can assure everyone that a purse would not fit in there. ever.
anyway, yea. twilights not that bad y’all.
#twilight#stephanie meyer#unpopular opinion #this book was so bad #I didn’t even read it #well I read the scene in question #my mom owes me a new pair of eyeballs #but I refuse to go near that book ever #apparently it’s a best seller? written by a famous author?? #wtf is that nonsense #how did that book get written get edited and get published with shit like that in it?? #I don’t understand #someone literally read that scene and was like yea that plausible and published it #twilights not that bad