I’ve been a little tired lately, not sure what part of me needs the nap. Is it my mind, my body or my soul. If you understand this feeling, i am sorry. Currently I’m not depressed, I’m actually a bit at peace. Somehow I at least have that washing over me. Maybe i’m tired of the mundane world. I’ve always said that the mundane bored me.
This life bores me, not gets me out of here kind of bored. More than sitting through a math class you have already been through one to many times, kind of bored. As if someone had chosen to tell me a story over and over again to the point I could tell it myself. And it’s not a quarantine type of boredom. Not the days blending together more like I’ve lived all of this. As if nothing new is to happen, as if it all already has.
No i’m not saying i’ve seen the future just that there is this impending feeling as if i’ve experienced all the good and bad and there is simply nothing left. Tomorrow I’ll analyse this with my therapist. She is great but i have read so much about psychology that i’m sure this is more dissociation than anything else. So let’s blame my mental health but at what point do i get to blame me. I feel like I deserve the blame for not being more, not having more going on.
Example one of the people i have come to realize is just an old friend but at some point saw him as a best friend. Regardless of his status in my life. He told me about this ridiculous drama that involved a group from high school I hadn’t been part of . Not then and certainly not now. I had pulled myself away from these people years ago and somehow I was being pushed into them. I was glad when he had to go and ended the call. I didn’t have the heart to do it, maybe I just didn’t have the strength. The mundane conversation of drama i had no part in one that i hadn’t cared about since i left high school. That was eight years ago. I could barely keep these peoples names straight let alone their stories. Until he said i was involved, he had entangled me in a problem that i had placed over a thousand miles between me and it. Regardless of what was being said, I couldn’t care less. Again I found myself without strength, energy or mindspace.
It made me realize that even my connections to the outside world i thought i belonged in, was so superficial. I now needed to cut off a friendship I had thought would last a lifetime or at least until I could replace him with someone less drama inducing.
The little energy I did have couldn’t afford to be wasted on someone who was not adding to my life in any way. I thought the mundane was just my daily life but it seems to include a lot more of the world then i originally gave any thought too. Turns out it’s all mundane. It’s all sameness. Nothing new, nothing changing. The opposite of extraordinary. The opposite of how I want to exist. But here we are you and me, living existing.
Maybe I wrote all this to say, I need to make myself live, I need to force it into my life regardless of who I must kick out to integrate some one or thing new. Let’s do it then.
Me and you writing our way through adventure on a hopeful journey to excitement.
“Hey, it’s me, but I guess you knew that already didn’t you, at this moment in time you’re probably wondering where I am, why I’m late, I could tell you what I’m doing, but in the end it’s not gonna matter, but here are all the small moments and big instances that led me to you, and the moments in between that trapped me there”
Hammond Report February 25 2021 From Pandemic Quarantino Jon Hammond - Daily Music and Stories from the organist & accordionist Jon Hammond, today’s music story about playing an outdoor evening concert together with the
(great trumpet player / fearless leader) - the music score was 6’ long with a lot of notes, actually I improvised in my own style for this program entitled “Organ Meets Bigband” thanks for support from
February 26 – Some important events on this day 1616 👉🏼 Roman Inquisition delivers injunction to Galileo demanding he abandon his belief in heliocentrism, which states the Earth and planets revolve around the Sun 1732 👉🏼 1st mass celebrated in 1st American Catholic church, St Joseph’s, Philadelphia 1797 👉🏼 Bank of England issues first £1 note 1815 👉🏼 Napoleon Bonaparte and his supporters leave…
I found a rat in the kitchen today. It was sniffling around the bag of chips you had left on the counter. I gently scooped the small rodent into my etheral hands and deposited it into one of the small pet carriers you had for Angel. Perhaps we could keep it, it seems friendly enough to me.
We have the wonderful opportunity to tell our stories anonymously through tumblr. Send me an ask about your life. We can talk about it or I can just post it for others to see. Maybe it will help someone.
Hello! After months of writing, implementing new features
and testing, I believe the update is now at a reasonable standard to show off!
I apologise once again for keeping you in the dark. The delay for this update
was a consequence of underestimating how long my tasks would take to complete,
in addition to starting other projects! 😁
I plan to use this blog post to show what I have been
working on – or if you prefer, you can watch the video below. The Forsaken
Ruins (1.6.4) February Update raises the overall quality of the game, whilst
bringing in new features and adding to old ones. New gameplay features were designed
to help tell new stories and immerse the player into the new world of The Forsaken
Below is a list of features you can expect to see in The
Forsaken Ruins 1.6.4 Early Access Build *when it drops*. 📖
Like before, you start as a prisoner locked away – it is
then up to you to discover the dark history of Ever-Bleed Keep. There are 27
new notes to read from, outlining new characters and past events. I encourage
any criticism and/or suggestions as I plan to include more notes in future
The ‘Note Menu’ was designed to store notes and piece
together much larger stories within the world of The Forsaken Ruins. You can
access the ‘Note Menu’ via the ‘Pause Screen’ and from there, the player will
be presented with different stories (left side) and the last note they read
All the notes are tied to different stories. Once a note has
been read, it will be available to view again in its respective story. Furthermore,
there are certain riddle notes called; ‘Cursed Words’ that are linked to
puzzles in the game. The ‘Note Menu’ grants quick and easy access to riddles so
that the player does not have to keep returning to the original note location.
The Player Journal now includes four main chapters:
Inventory, Characters, Bestiary and Controls. Once the player accesses the
journal [J] they will be met with strange symbols that will only reveal itself
once a particular note is read. I plan to include objectives into the journal,
once the full game releases.
To better understand how the game functions, there are many
text-based explanations slapped around the game itself. For instance, there arecontrols listed in the Player Journal, and tips written in the Note Menu and on
The Player Death Screen has been updated, along with the
dying animation. Players can now expect to see the screen dip to black rather than
breaking dancing on the floor. Death messages will appear, offering subtle
hints about the main story. The buttons
are now vertically placed, along with the font size being reduced and the
colour scheme being updated. 💀
The Forsaken Ruins 1.6.4 Early Access Build includes new
loading screen art, story covers and journal drawings. In addition, I have
polished in-game prompts, crosshairs, and animations. Items now have the
appropriate highlight depending on whether they are puzzle or story related.
Moreover, font and shape size has been reduced to make the screens more
appealing to the eye.
I have done my best to iron out any bugs from The Forsaken
Ruins 1.5.3 Early Access Build (Last Update). For more detailed information,
look out for the bug report when the new update drops. Unfortunately, I cannot
find them all! For example, it took me four updates to realise the death screen
was always active… this meant invisible buttons could be trigged, causing the
game to either restart, quit or load the main menu (this has now been
I plan to release two more updates(focusing on sound and
level design), before working on the full release of the game. Due to starting
other projects, I’m not sure how long this will take. However, I plan to keep
you well informed by posting more blogs. That’s it for now! Be sure to check
out the update when it drops *very soon* - thanks again for being patient and I
hope you are all doing well! Cheers! 😎
One thing that always gets me excited to start a new writing project is creating a character. Creating a new character is a sure-fire way to amp your self up about your new story.
There is no write or wrong way to create them, you just do!
However, creating a new name and face for a story can be daunting, particularly when it comes to naming the character! I like to choose a name with a special meaning or connection to the story I have in mind.
I find it very helpful to refer to a ‘character development’ chart or ‘character features’ charts.
I’ll post some helpful charts down below! I hope this helps :)
I have realised that I’m very good at creating stories. The problem is that I allow the stories to get ahead of where the actual situation between you and me is. I imagine where the situation will go and where it could go, based on your qualities and based on how great we are together. It really becomes dangerous when stories turn into expectations, especially when you realise they won’t be fulfilled.