I have so much in my head but I can’t get rid of it. I keep my jaw closed when I begin overthinking and don’t want to tell someone because I know they are not going to understand me. Only thing I learned about this is that I now have jaw complaints.
19 Part 5
the next part
The final chapter of wooing is up on ao3 for those that has been reading my Ducktales story.
When you opened your eyes, the sun was already rising. You felt a pleasant warmth exuding from beside you. You rubbed your eyes to get a clear vision of what, or well who was in bed with you.
You saw Thomas peacefully snoring by your side. Then the memories from the last night flooded your mind as you realized you were still both naked.
Your first reaction was to panic, but then you noticed something you ignored before. Something on Thomas’s body. You had a clear view of his arm in daylight, and as you inspected his skin, you saw scars… not a few of them, but a whole bunch. These scars covered his whole arm, some were deep, and some looked quite new.
“Oh my god…” you gasped at your discovery. Your heart ached for Thomas. Right now, you had a strong urge to protect him, no matter how ridiculous it seemed. You were still a victim, but you felt less like one after every moment spent with Thomas.
Maybe you felt a sense of responsibility? You believed that you could help Thomas and ease his pain… If you ran away, it would mean you betray him. You would be like all the others who stabbed him in the back.
You tenderly ran your fingers through his hair.
“Tommy…” you whispered, clenching your teeth.
You were split between your past and future… you missed your life, freedom, family, and friends. But then there was this man, this murderous cannibal who made your heart inexplicably flutter.
You checked his arm one more time and gave him a soft kiss on the deepest scar.
“Maybe if we met sooner.” you pondered about his past. Right, if you two met under different circumstances.
You placed your head back onto the pillow and turned to your side as you decided to sleep a bit more.
“Ahh…” you yelped as Thomas unexpectedly turned around to hug you from behind. But then you just smiled and closed your eyes, enjoying his presence.
When you woke up again, Thomas was gone, and so was every other evidence that would suggest he was ever next to you. Maybe it really didn’t happen, and it was just a dream?
You stretched your arms and looked out of the window. The sun was already remarkably high up in the sky. You yearned for the freedom outside the walls of this house.
“You had a choice…” you sighed for yourself when you remembered how close you were to escape last night. But you didn’t turn the doorknob. You didn’t open the door.
Were you really out of your mind? You didn’t understand yourself anymore. Everything you did was against natural human instincts.
You stepped out of bed only to realize that your ankle is cuffed again.
“All right…” you teared up uncontrollably as you slipped down from the bed, landing on your knees.
You saw your suitcase on the floor next to you, so you decided to rummage through your past. After putting on a dress and underwear, you found a diary that captured your attention, so you opened it and read.
“This road trip sucks so far; I am fairly sure they invited me only for my money. Nobody really talks with me. I swear this is the last time I am going somewhere with Emma…” was the last written paragraph. You wrote it before you threw the diary into the suitcase as you were dizzy from writing in the van, but you were frustrated, so you had to. Now you didn’t have any of your good friends or family with you so that you couldn’t share your feelings with anyone… it wouldn’t hurt if you wrote something again, right? You needed to cleanse yourself somehow.
“I was kidnapped by a local sheriff in this weird town in Texas after we had an accident on the road. Even though I am quite sure it’s not a real sheriff. This family killed Emma and the others and ate them… There are four of them… and I…” you couldn’t bring yourself to write that you purposefully missed an opportunity to escape because you had feelings for the guy who kills and butchers humans. You scrapped the idea of writing any further and stabbed the page with your pen… and again and few more times until the rest of the diary was destroyed. You threw it away and climbed back to bed. You were hungry, and you really wanted to use the bathroom, but you didn’t dare to call someone as you didn’t want Hoyt to be the one to answer you.
You thought about yesterday, when you felt like more than a victim, today the reality dawned on you and mentally destroyed you.
You wished Thomas would be here. You wanted to tell him how you felt about your needs. Why wasn’t he there with you?
Thomas wasn’t pleased about the situation either. Hoyt was searching for him in the morning, and when he couldn’t find him in the basement, he went looking for him in your room. He found you both in the same bed, and you weren’t even cuffed. He gestured for Thomas to immediately come out and then scolded him to no end.
“What do ya think yer doin’ Thomas? Sleepin’ in the same bed as yer bitch? Didn’t ya learn anythin’?” Hoyt rumbled. He was furious. To him, you were an outsider, a piece of meat. If Thomas really wanted to fuck you, it was for the sake of satisfaction and not some lovemaking shit. You would become dinner eventually anyway.
Then Hoyt sent Thomas to the basement and told him to stay there as he wasn’t in the mood for his face, which obviously hurt Thomas, but he complied. Hoyt decided to take away some comfort from you, so Thomas couldn’t see you or let you out of the room. Plus, you didn’t receive any food.
But Hoyt left on patrol, and someone in the house didn’t like the idea of you starving to death. You heard a light knock on the door.
“C-come in.” You stuttered nervously.
“Good mornin’ darlin’.” You saw Luda Mae standing in the door frame with a plate and cup in her hands.
“Charlie isn’t in a good mood today.” she sighed. “But I can’t let ya starve now, can I?” she smiled at you while coming closer.
You were so relieved. It wasn’t Hoyt, and Luda brought food.
“Is Thomas okay?” you said as you took the meal from her.
“Oh, m’dear y/n.” she smiled when you mentioned her son.
“He’s in the basement. I think they argued with Charlie. He ordered him to stay out of his sight today,” she explained with a pained expression.
“Why doesn’t he come out when Hoyt’s gone?” you asked curiously.
Luda sighed again. “Hoyt locked him in there and took the key. Ya know darlin’, Hoyt doesn’t take no disrespect and ma boy Tommy was acting up. As much as I disapprove of this, my hands are tied. Charlie has the last word in this family. I couldn’t stop what they did to Monty, either.” She complained.
“What happened to Monty?” you asked despite having an idea.
“He got shot by a biker, and Charlie forced Thomas to treat him…” she made it sound so innocent, even though Monty was missing both of his legs. She really didn’t want to portray her son as evil. And you didn’t think of him that way either.
You nodded while you ate the bread she gave you to let her know that you were paying attention.
After you finished the breakfast, well brunch, Luda Mae returned to take the empty plate and cup.
“Darlin’, I can tell that my boy Thomas likes your company. I only want the best for Tommy. He gave me this.” she took a small key out of her pocket.
It was key to your freedom.
“But ya know I am just a weak old woman now, and I know Charlie would be furious if you escaped.” she was very unsure of her actions.
You didn’t understand a thing. Luda uncuffed you, so you could use the bathroom and take a shower. You didn’t want to cause her trouble. If Hoyt could do what he did to Monty, you didn’t even want to imagine what fate awaited Luda if you ran away because of her.
“I know it must be borin’ to stay in that room all day alone, darlin’.” Luda Mae said as she washed the dishes in the kitchen. You were standing next to her, leaning on the wall.
“Would you mind helpin’ me around the house today?” Luda Mae looked at you and raised her eyebrow.
“Of course, anything.” You replied and smiled at her. How could you say no to her?
And so you spent the day cleaning the house with Luda. Honestly, it was for your own good as well, because from the first time you arrived you’ve thought that the house is really filthy. However, you understood that Luda was already an older woman, and the house was huge, so it must’ve been hard for her to be the only one taking care of the household.
You were proud of yourself when you finished. Even Monty seemed to approve of your hard work.
“Good work, m’dear!” Luda cheerfully announced when she looked around the now clean living room. The feelings creeping on you this morning were gone, and you felt more like an actual human being rather than a piece of meat again. You weren’t cuffed, and you basically spent some family time with Luda and Monty.
Your moment of happiness was abruptly interrupted by the sound of an arriving car. It was Hoyt, and when you looked closely out of the window, it seemed that he wasn’t alone. There were two guys and a girl with him in the car. Luda quickly pushed you up the stairs to make sure Hoyt doesn’t see you.
You rushed to your room and looked out of the window. Apparently, Hoyt locked them in the car because he came to the porch alone. Luda opened the door and let him in. He didn’t even realize how clean the house was. He just went straight to the basement door to summon Thomas.
“Come on, Tommy, move yer ass and help me out here!” he shouted and then walked back to the car.
You were still looking out of the window but concentrated on the noises coming from downstairs as well. Hoyt opened the door for the girl sitting in a passenger seat and let the guys out of the car too. They seemed okay, and Hoyt was actually polite? You didn’t understand the scene unfolding before your eyes.
And then he saw you. One of the boys looked up, and he saw you staring at them from the window. But before he could do anything, Hoyt grabbed the girl and pointed a gun to her head. Both guys were visibly shocked. They genuinely believed he was a sheriff helping them until this point.
Then you heard loud footsteps, and Thomas stormed out of the house with a chainsaw in his hand. The guys tried to run away, but Hoyt shot one of them to his calf. The other turned around to help his friend, but only a bullet to his shoulder awaited him. Thomas grabbed one of the wounded guys and threw him on his shoulder, and then he disappeared into the house. You figured he took him to the basement. Hoyt took the redhaired girl into the house too, and the guy who has been shot to his leg was crawling in pain away from the house. He was desperately slow.
You heard screams of the girl and Hoyt’s footsteps as he struggled to bring her up the stairs to his room. You quietly went to the door and peeked out as you opened them. Hoyt didn’t notice as he was too busy with the girl who was screaming and kicking everywhere around herself. But she saw you.
“Help me! Please, you, help me!” she stared at you with despair in her eyes as she tried to get out of Hoyt’s grip. Your eyes widened, and you instinctively closed the door. You covered your ears in a futile attempt to prevent the girl’s voice from reaching you.
You knew well what awaited her with Hoyt. Meanwhile, Thomas got the other guy who tried crawling again. And that was it, you couldn’t see anything else, and you could only think about what was happening in the house.
The girl’s screams didn’t fade at all, and the revving of the chainsaw was piercing your ears as well. You wanted it to end finally, but then you heard a loud thump as the basement door burst open, and Luda’s voice echoed in the living room as she was screaming Thomas’s name.
“Tommy! Hoyt! Hoyt, come down!”
You opened the door again and stepped out of the room. The girl was still screaming, and Hoyt was nowhere to be seen. He probably didn’t hear Luda. You couldn’t hear Luda as well now.
You braced yourself for the worst outcome as you ran down the stairs only to find Luda tied up to a chair with a rug in her mouth.
You gasped… what was happening? Then you saw him, the guy who has been shot in his shoulder standing in the kitchen with a bloodied knife, Thomas nowhere to be found.
a/n: Now what, you and another victim together in a kitchen… I am sorry for the cliff hanger, but the chapter would be too long, but I am in the mood for writing, so will post the next chapter tomorrow.
It was an impulsive decision.
He strode inside the ballroom and grabbed two champagne drinks from a tray. Then he went to the balcony to meet her.
Perhaps the spirit of the mirror had guided him that night. Because he was glad that he had shaved before.
He was too afraid to burn her thus he kept a distance from her. But when she suddenly kissed him, he lost all restrain in him. He was immediately intoxicated by her warm touch and fresh spring smell.
It was a quick kiss.
One, he knew then that it was her first kiss. Two, she was not burnt at all. Arkan knew naught why she was immune.
But he wanted more of her. At the same time, a bud of hope started blooming inside him. Maybe she is the one… If she is immune to my curse, wouldn’t that make her the one?
So, he made another impulsive decision.
One that made her moaned so sweetly.
Then he made yet another impulsive decision.
One that made her spit on him.
Allow yourself to feel things fully and completely. When you hold onto things and people, and when you don’t allow yourself the previlage of letting go they will forever have a hold on your soul. Allow for the people and things that need to go, to do so freely with no convictions of what should have and could have been. Nothing in this life is ours for the keeping, we get to experience people and things, and for a moment they blissfully kisss our souls and move on. That’s what life is about allowing things to flow in and out organically.
He had been given the watch on his tenth birthday. It was an ordinary grey plastic wristwatch in every respect except for the fact that it was counting down. “That is all of the time you have left in the world, son. Use it wisely.” And indeed he did. As the watch ticked away, the boy, now a man, lived life to the fullest. He climbed mountains and swam oceans. He talked and laughed and lived and loved. The man was never afraid, for he knew exactly how much time he had left.
Eventually, the watch began its final countdown. The old man stood looking over everything he had done, everything he had built. 5. He shook hands with his old business partner, the man who had long been his friend and confidant. 4. His dog came and licked his hand, earning a pat on the head for its companionship. 3. He hugged his son, knowing that he had been a good father. 2. He kissed his wife on the forehead one last time. 1. The old man smiled and closed his eyes.
Then, nothing happened. The watch beeped once and turned off. The man stood standing there, very much alive. You would think that in that moment he would have been overjoyed. Instead, for the first time in his life, the man was scared.
“Uhm”, I start, not knowing how to explain this to them. “I’m not a unique case. There are others like me. Well not exactly like me, I’m the only one who can control water, so in that sense, I am unique… But people like me exist for many other compounds. Not all of them, but quite a lot. We’re called ‘Combined’.”
Olli picks himself up first. “So… there’s also someone who can control air? And stone?”
“No”, I say, and he looks disappointed. “Not really. Stone more than air, though. The problem with air is, that it’s not a compound. It’s a mixture of gases, and only a few of those are compounds. My friend Ana, I think you’ve met her, she can control CO2. Also, there’s a lot of water in the air, a tiny bit of methane and some dust. But the other stuff, oxygen, nitrogen, the noble gases, even if some are molecules, they are all made of atoms of only one element. They’re not combined, you know.”
I hope that this was an understandable explanation. Would this be the right point to tell them about the Atomics? Probably.
“All the single element stuff is controlled by the Atomics. There’s one for each element. They’re very powerful. Our power is limited, in space and number of particles, but… theirs is not.” I make a pause. I don’t really want to tell them about how the Atomics are basically gods, as old as the universe, and also our creators. I’ll have to, eventually. “The Atomics are not… human. They made themselves bodies that look at least mostly human, to walk among us. But really, they are a lot more.”
“Walk among us…”, Rob repeats slowly. “That sounds very… godly.”
“Yes”, I say simply. All three of them are looking very thoughtful. Olli’s eyes have become huge and he keeps tearing his blonde curls. Viv just stares into nothingness, but you can see her fantasy running wild. Rob’s pose actually looks a lot like Rodin’s “The Thinker”. He makes a little “oof” and the others nod agreeingly.
“You’ll meet some of them, soon. They’ll want to talk to you. When they decide on the consequences of me revealing all of this to you.”
“Will it be bad?”, Olli asked, visibly worried.
“Honestly, I don’t know”, I sigh.
“I’m sorry we brought this onto you”, he says.
“No, no, you don’t need to apologize. This is in no way your fault”, I hurry to say, because it really isn’t their fault. “I made a choice and I don’t regret it.”
A little smile flickers across Viv’s face.
REBELLION ROSE - bermalam bintang (ft havinhell)
#story #storyig #storyinstagram #storywa #storywhatsapp #statuswhatsapp
#cassette #rock #rockindonesia #band90an #musik90an #band2000an
4 de septiembre
And now that we have loved each other,
with broken hearts,
and arms that can barely hold one another,
I wish we could go back to a time…
before we gave each other love;
-Luna Reign 10/25/2020
Tiba-tiba otakku kembali mengingat memori² kusam tentangmu. Teringat disaat kita tertawa dan bercerita panjang perihal masa depan. Kini siapa sangka obrolan panjang kita malam itu adalah moment terakhir kita, sebelum Aku dan Kamu kembali menjadi asing
26 Oktober 2020
Its no secret that TRH The Crown Prince Maximillian of Monaca and The Princess Mary Duchess of Courland were seen kissing outside of the Harcourt Palace, which the Royal Family moved into recently. It looks like The Crown Prince is currently staying in Windenburg as he walked into the palace with the Princess. Both the Royal Families of Monaca and Windenburg have not confirmed their relationship, but it seems as if we have enough proof that they are dating!
The priest at mass today told a story how a couple were pregnant and the first ultrasound showed the umbilical cord was detaching and the child was deformed. The doctor suspected it to be a certain genetic disease. The parents and grandma of the baby prayed and ultimately left it in God’s hands. The next ultrasound later on showed the child to be perfectly healthy. The priest pointed out that the health problems the baby had was genetic which means God rewrote the babies genetic code to heal it which is impossible. He went on to say God will sometimes do the impossible for us to remind us that he is in charge and can do whatever he wants. He also reminded us how prayers can really change things if we seriously pray for things.
Lord, thank you so much for your incredible miracles and please help us turn to you always
For the first time in like 5 years (thank you, grad school), I’m actually on track to actually finish my goal of finishing 20 books this year.
Just finished Story by Robert McKee, which is about screenwriting but I still found it enlightening/ intriguing as an aspiring novelist.
And I read just as chaotically as I write so I’m also in the middle of:
Sword of Destiny (The Witcher #.75) by Andrzej Sapkowski
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli
What’s everyone else reading these days?
Night air. Slanted stars against the devoid space, always fleeting the moon and chasing the sun. The night not much more than a welcoming embrace where so many secrets are carelessly spilled with the sea of carefully crafted tears.
Even without screaming, there is so much one can say. Yet it is only with the effort made in which you can be heard. It’s like being alone in a crowd, struggling to be heard above bustling conversation. I was on the other side of the crowd, and I was so, so oblivious to the constant noise. Constantly searching; I heard only echoes.
The aftershock is the most comforting part. It’s like the constant of stars, just waiting to explode. We see only ghosts yet assume that they feel. There were no dreams, no thoughts — no emotions. Just mindless focus on what’s next.
You go through a relentlessly tiring process next. You curse whoever you can, howl into an empty room to be filled with echoes once more, and oh, the tears. You would never know that it’s possible to cry so much without knowing why. You don’t understand how even through it all you remain utterly hollow. But you do understand the loneliness and how it crashes over you like white water.
Through it all, you are still so numb. You wander through ghost town after ghost town of stars, hoping that you will catch the next display of eruption. You yell greetings, but only your echo greets you back. Once you’ve seen it all, you do it again. And again, and again, and again, and again, and again. You never realize when it is that you begin to experience the echoes of the ghost towns, and you’re never sure why you keep at it. You only accept it.
There is a surplus of time for you to think; the one thing you hadn’t accounted for. And then you realize: you can think! It rushes and washes over, the detonation of the bomb that you were so desperate for. It’s suffocating, and it gives way to a panic-driven-state.
You deliberately search for the next explosion, doing everything you can to ride along with it. It comes to you quicker this time and you sink into the cold welcome once again. You never understand why you enjoy the icy grips so much — you never understood anything throughout it all. You just let it be and that alone is enough for you.