Jane and the Dragon modern AU where they go to school and Jester is a theatre kid (little shop of horrors!) and lives with rotating family members caus ethey take turns being off and touring with the rest of the family’s circus but Jester wants an education.
Inside of you are two wolves. One gets annoyed when somebody texts you too often. The other gets anxious when they don’t immediately text you back. Both wolves need therapy but can’t afford it. Unable to form sustainable relationships in this modern age you retreat to the woods. The wolves seem to like this.
Greig: Hi, Miss Thomson, Jill is it? You ‘hearted’ my
post on ‘Today’sDate’. Coffee this
Jill: I remember. Office manager. Takes great interest in staff. Coffee sounds
good Greig. Saturday so free all day.
G: I’m in town. Popped into CoffeeNirvana. How about now?
J: Ok, getting ready handsome. 25 mins ok?
G: Better hurry love. Crowded here. People near door still
scowling. Cold draught followed me in.
J: It’s winter. What’s to do? To wear? You in one of your favourite Armani?
G: Weekend. Bootle green hoodie.
J: Ok, leaving now.
G: Ordering macchiato and carrot cake. Get something for
J: Order on arrival thanks. Make sure it’s hot.
G: Like you?
J: Take it easy. Talk first. See how it goes eh?
G: No problemo love. Just tapped card to pay. Didn’t
work. No cash with me.
J: Tell barista I’ll pay yours together with mine.
G: Great. Barista
said ok, but still frowning at me.
J: Cheer him up with a smile and a tip when I arrive.
G: No room here to swing a cat. Lucky to get two-seater next to toilet. Woman already in other seat. Struggled to
squeeze in. Macchiato sloshed over table. Old cow wasn’t pleased.
J: Keep the seat for me if she leaves.
G: She’s on her phone now. Bleating about some fat git spilling coffee
on her dress. Older guy next door just
pointed his finger over here. Guy behind counter still frowning at me. Helped catching
his eye though. Ordered chocolate cake and couple of yum-yums. Added to bill.
J: Do you think entries in ‘Today’sDate’ should always be
G: Sure. Didn’t photoshop your photo did you?
J: No, maybe told one or two little fibs. I’m thirty-one,
not twenty-five. You?
G: Been busy. No
time for porkies. Pal Jakey Jake put it all
up. Coffee almost finished. Still hungry.
How much longer you going to be dear? People staring for some reason. Like I was
one of those annoyances spending all day on the phone, tapping or shouting.
J: Well, did this Jake get the details right? Did he alter the photo?
G: How would I know? Maybe used an old one.
J: Make you a bit younger eh? Still 6 foot, 6-pack, and single though?
G: Maybe matured a wee bit. The Jakey my man for speed and weed. See him
as a friend though.
J: Well I suppose busy lives. Hard to hold on to friends,
make new friends.
G: Like neighbours and people at work really horrible.
J: Poor you. Horrible how?
G: Keep moaning on - stop scrounging, lose weight, slapping
bums not funny any more – come out with lots of mince about attitudes, feminism,
sexism etc. Really horrible, unfriendly people.
No sense of humour.
J: Ok, I see. Shame.
G: Coffee finished.
You be here soon? Get me a large
macchiato and lemon drizzle cake when you get yours, ok.
J: Nearly there
G: Bitch on next seat leaned over to complain about
squashing. Grabbed her knee. Now she’s mouthing off about police etc.
J: Oh dear. Unfortunate.
G: This place is a total pain in the arse. Red Lion for a few pints instead?
J: Guys near door, the barista, woman next to you, people
at the next table – all looking daggers.
G: Yes, right, like I said, all staring.
J: I can imagine. The twin-seat next toilet. Badly
overweight, unkempt, angry red-faced bloke in a crud-spattered green top thumping
away at his phone, bullying poor woman next to him. Barista and others exchanging
glances, ready to act. Whole place staring.
G: Here, where’s all this shite coming from? That how you
see me? Overweight? Unkempt? Bully? Not
on ‘Today’sDate’ I’m not. Call a woman stuff like that get called sexist
J: Maybe they recognise a face from the news. A guy arrested
for beating up his wife?
G: That face not have a beard? It’s not on ‘Today’sDate’.
J: I know, not the beard anyway. But right now I’m
looking at the stubbly version through CoffeeNirvana’s window.
G: What - bobble hat and tweed jacket - face sucking
lemons - that you waving?
J: Yes, me. Waving goodbye.
G: Hold up, I’m coming.
J: Pay the barista once you’ve fought your giant beer
belly out of that chair Greig. I’m long
gone. Bye. Great not meeting you.