Bill: So you go over there, you tell Emma you think she's cute. What’s the worst that could happen?
Paul: She could hear me!
Five times Ted and Pamela sought each other out, found each other, fucked for comfort, for pleasure, for lust. One time Ted looked the other way. From when he was young and heartbroken and needed the comforting to the time she was dumb and broken and was the one needing him, and all the times in between. Two messy, trashy, complicated people who don't make the best decisions and maybe deserve each other.
Chapter five: After Charlotte fails to show up at their rendez-vous, Ted replaces her with the next best thing and invites Pamela.
only the ones from TGWDLM are here but i think this is mostly accurate
that’s called daddy issues-
In The Hatchetfield Ape Man, Hidgens drives a Rolls-Royce and lives in a mansion on the edge of the Witchwood. In Honey Queen, he keeps suggesting that Linda Monroe should say she wants to do something about economic inequality, and he has a teacher’s salary, so how was he able to afford those?
Roman Murray also lives in a mansion on the edge of Witchwood Forest and drives a Rolls-Royce. We know he and Hidgens know each other, but he clearly never offered to fund Workin’ Boys (a new musical). Maybe Hidgens killed him and took his stuff to use while attempting to steal Lucy Stockworth’s fortune?
3/5 we’re so close
The most OOC moment for Paul in Honey Queen wasn’t him liking Linda’s song cause he’s been established to like music just hate musicals it’s the fact that he’s going to Beanies even after Zoey implied that Emma doesn’t work there anymore
Emma: I never understood how people could be either straight or gay. Like, have you seen men? Have you seen women?
Nora: Yes, I’ve seen men and I’ve seen women and that’s exactly why I’m a lesbian.
Hatchetfield has fucking mastered the “No Main Character” trope. There has been no character that’s in every story and everyone who could be considered a protagonist (Paul, Emma, Lex, Tom) hasn’t done a single fucking thing to advance the lore and then we have Ted accidentally unveiling a corporate conspiracy, a time travel mechanism and a time loop scenario in one fucking story
Nibbly haters been awfully quiet since the the end of Honey Queen…
Emma: Hey hotties how's it going?
Charlotte: Hi Emma!
Paul: Hi, honey
Ted: Oi oi
Emma: Not you, Ted.
Ted: Fuck you
Jane: What do you think mom and dad would say if they were here?!
Emma: That’s easy. “Emma, I know minimal information about the situation or its context, but I am ready to place all the blame squarely on your shoulders.”
we all know charlotte's the actual "sweetest woman in Hatchetfield"
Ted: *says something completely unintelligible*
Ted: I'm insulting your height. Be properly offended.
Ted: There you go.
🔵🎵ohh, you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself about! 🎵🔵
i like him being just a big soft yeti<3
I’ve had several theories about this, but the posts were from a while ago. Here’s the reason it could be Jaime Lyn Beatty: https://themystifier.tumblr.com/post/663357059864133632/all-the-hatchetfield-actors-playing-lords-in-black And here’s the reason it could be Nick Lang: https://themystifier.tumblr.com/post/665401715479216128/nick-lang-canonically-exists-in-hatchetfield
I do have a question though: Why is there so much hate for Clivesdale in Hatchetfield?