I Made you smile!!!! everything is right in the world again and i dont have to fantasise about the future anymore cos now is alright again. ive never loved anyone else this much before, i can normally just push all the emotions away, like i know cleos gonna die and i know i only see her once a day for a brief period of time and it would be So easy to change that! but i dont and i dont care, like i do but i dont yknow? like the whole people could die thing you have going on. ive never been- ive never been worried about someone like this before, and i guess looking at it through that light, the one where its because of how much i love you makes it a bit easier.
hdjkshfdjhs sometimes you say or do something so very much like dad that it stops me in my tracks. like the way you cheer me up? maybe its just cos normally you're doin it when im little and i can remember dad cheering me up when i was little, but other things too! cant think of them exactly but they're there!
watching your smile slowly form, i used to mind that it was from something that wasn't me. how dumb is that! i cant believe the levels my toxic reaches, never knew before. never felt comfy to let them exist. but your smile baby! your smile is my favourite thing in the whole world, your happy is my favourite thing in the whole world. youre my favourite thing in the whole world. look at the way your hair is all swoopy! listen to you clear your throat, the fuck??? im so in love with you that i like listenin to you sniffle.