#theone Tumblr posts

  • istumpysk
    07.12.2021 - 25 minutes ago

    Operation Stumpy Re-Read

    ACOK: Theon II (Chapter 24)

    "And how would you know what I'm like?"
    "My eyes can see your face. My ears can hear your laughter. And my cock's gone hard as a mast for you."

    You know what I don’t need in life? Theon and Samwell parallels.


    He'd decided that he liked this wench, whoever she was; her sharp wit was a welcome respite from the damp gloom of Pyke. "Shall I name my longship after you, and play you the high harp, and keep you in a tower room in my castle with only jewels to wear, like a princess in a song?"

    Every Rhaegar reference should come with a warning. Some of us might be eating dinner.


    "Would you make me your captain for the night, my lord prince?" She had the wickedest smile he'd ever seen on a woman.
    "I might. If I knew you'd steer me safe into port."
    "Well, I know which end of the oar goes in the sea, and there's no one better with ropes and knots."

    Please get me out of this chapter.


    Esgred is yours, sweet prince. Take me to your castle. Let me see your proud towers rising from the sea.

    Then the towers by the sea, crumbling as the dark tide came sweeping over them, rising from the depths. Shadows in the shape of skulls, skulls that turned to mist, bodies locked together in lust, writhing and rolling and clawing. Through curtains of fire great winged shadows wheeled against a hard blue sky. - Melisandre I, ADWD ūü§©


    Ironmen did not bend their knees often nor easily, but Theon noted that oarsmen and townfolk alike grew quiet as they passed, and acknowledged him with respectful bows of the head. They have finally learned who I am, he thought. And past time too.


    Theon muttered the words with them. "You seem well known," he said to the woman when the men had passed on.    


    When Wex saw Esgred, his eyes went round. You'd think he'd never seen a woman before, Theon thought.


    Most of the islanders were indifferent riders at best, more comfortable on the deck of a longship than in the saddle.

    So what you’re saying is that the ironborn are more comfortable at sea than on a saddle? That’s interesting, because the exact opposite could be said of the Dothraki. It’s almost like if you merged them together, they’d make the perfect army.

    And by perfect I mean a shitshow.


    Lord Botley's misjudgment was his good fortune: a stallion with a temper as black as his hide, larger than a courser if not quite so big as most destriers. As Theon was not quite so big as most knights, that suited him admirably. The animal had fire in his eyes. When he'd met his new owner, he'd pulled back his lips and tried to bite off his face.

    Having fire in his eyes is likely a good omen for this horse.


    "Does he have a name?" Esgred asked Theon as he mounted.     
    "Smiler." He gave her a hand, and pulled her up in front of him, where he could put his arms around her as they rode. "I knew a man once who told me that I smiled at the wrong things."

    Ned. 100% Ned. 


    "I knew a man once who told me that I smiled at the wrong things." 
    "Are you smiling now, my lord prince?"
    "Oh, yes."


    "My brothers are long dead, and my sister . . . well, they say Asha's favorite gown is a chainmail hauberk that hangs down past her knees, with boiled leather smallclothes beneath. Men's garb won't make her a man, though. I'll make a good marriage alliance with her once we've won the war, if I can find a man to take her. As I recall, she had a nose like a vulture's beak, a ripe crop of pimples, and no more chest than a boy."    

    Her nose was too big and too sharp for her thin face, but her smile made up for it. - Theon II, ACOK


    When he reached the part about coming that close to the Kingslayer himself, he slid his hand back up to where it had been. Her breasts were small, but he liked the firmness of them. - Theon II, ACOK


    In the islands it was scarce unheard of for a strong, ambitious uncle to dispossess a weak nephew of his rights, and usually murder him in the bargain.

    You know what I love about this? Not only do I find Daenerys hiding in another Greyjoy chapter, I just realized Euron and Daenerys will share another parallel in the future. ūü¶ĎūüĖ§ūüźČ


    My uncles pose no threat to me," he declared. "Aeron is drunk on seawater and sanctity.

    And shade of the evening.


    "Euron Croweye has no lack of cunning, though. I've heard men say terrible things of that one."                 
    Theon shifted his seat. "My uncle Euron has not been seen in the islands for close on two years. He may be dead." If so, it might be for the best. Lord Balon's eldest brother had never given up the Old Way, even for a day. His Silence, with its black sails and dark red hull, was infamous in every port from Ibben to Asshai, it was said.

    Daddy, come home!


    "He may be dead," Esgred agreed, "and if he lives, why, he has spent so long at sea, he'd be half a stranger here. The ironborn would never seat a stranger in the Seastone Chair."
    "I suppose not," Theon replied, before it occurred to him that some would call him a stranger as well.

    Nice dig at your brother, but I’ve got some bad news regarding ironborn seating strangers, Asha.


    "The cold winds have worn her away, I hear. Will you not go see her? Harlaw is only a day's sail, and surely Lady Greyjoy yearns for a last sight of her son."
    "Would that I could. I am kept too busy here. My father relies on me, now that I am returned. Come peace, perhaps . . ."
    "Your coming might bring her peace."    

    I must confess, I have no idea where this Alannys Harlaw subplot is going. It seems somewhat important? 


    Somehow that thought excited him. "So you say, but your body shows no signs of it. How shall it be proven? Before I believe you, I shall need to see your breasts grow ripe, and taste your mother's milk."    

    Okay fine, here it is.

    As much as I’d love to make fun of George for any weird fetish he might have, this is a joke! Theon has already tasted her mother’s milk! He’s making a funny!


    Some of the things he said astonished him. She is easy to talk to, gods praise her, he reflected. I feel as though I've known her for years.


    All he could do was stand and gape at her. Asha. No. She cannot be Asha. 
    She unlaced my breeches, he thought, outraged, and she said . . . oh, gods, and I said . . . He groaned. He could not possibly have made a more appalling fool of himself.    

    You’ll notice here that Theon is appalled by the idea of bedding his sister.

    Who would think Theon Greyjoy could ever have the moral high ground over Jon Snow? Lmao

    As a side note, I’m enjoying all this brother and sister incest coming after a Jon chapter. Oho!


    Theon chose plain boots and plainer clothes, somber shades of black and grey to fit his mood. No ornament; he had nothing bought with iron. I might have taken something off that wildling I killed to save Bran Stark, but he had nothing worth the taking. That's my cursed luck, I kill the poor.    

    I constantly have to remind myself that Theon’s fate in the books is not a good thing. Constantly. 


    "Eight?" His face reddened. "What can I hope to accomplish with only eight longships?"
    Theon felt as if he'd been slapped. He was being sent to do reaver's work, burning fishermen out of their hovels and raping their ugly daughters, and yet it seemed Lord Balon did not trust him sufficiently to do even that much.

    I’m with you, Theon. Why would they not give you a proper role?

    "It has been a few years since I sailed a ship." And I've never captained one, if truth be told. - Theon II, ACOK


    "Victarion," Lord Balon said to his brother, "the main thrust shall fall to you. When my sons have struck their blows, Winterfell must respond.

    Cersei would have done well with Balon as a father.

    Final thoughts:

    I’m starting to remember why people don’t enjoy ACOK. Long chapters, with very little happening.

    Still better than AGOT.

    -> return to menu <-

    #operation stumpy re-read #acok#theon ii
    View Full
  • greensght
    06.12.2021 - 5 hours ago
    i feel like i should make an asoiaf multi
    #i'm really bad at keeping up with multi's but i would really like to write arya #and like . potentially brienne #and i just made my theon sideblog #which go interact w/ him please
    View Full
  • mummer
    06.12.2021 - 5 hours ago
    #my art #kind of fucked up the face and am too lazy to fix it. But maybe i will come back to this because #<3 nights watch theon <333
    View Full
  • owlsinathens
    06.12.2021 - 10 hours ago
    #theon greyjoy #ask auntie theon #agony aunt theon
    View Full
  • darkpanda27
    06.12.2021 - 13 hours ago

    Something Something Theon Greyjoy

    #game of thrones #theon greyjoy
    View Full
  • kingsansa
    06.12.2021 - 20 hours ago
    #answered #yeah this is pumpkin eater idc #before theon is a dickhead
    View Full
  • dkmbookworm
    06.12.2021 - 21 hours ago

    Asoiaf sexualities headcanon

    Ned stark: Biseuxal

    Jon snow: Bisexual

    Robb stark: Bisexual

    Theon Greyjoy: Pansexual

    Sansa stark: Lesbian

    Arya Stark: Bisexual

    Bran Stark: Asexual

    Jaime Lannister: Demisexual

    Cersei Lannister: Aromantic

    Robert Baratheon: Bisexual

    Danaerys Targaryen: Biseuxal

    And finally

    Catelyn and Tyrion: the token straights

    Add to this if you like, or put your alternate sexuality headcanons

    View Full
  • seaandsunn96
    06.12.2021 - 1 day ago

    My favorite page.

    View Full
  • jahaeratargaryen
    05.12.2021 - 1 day ago

    I know I said I was going to euthanize subway au but I have to just say that Domeric is the type of silly goose to wear a 3 piece suit to a club and ask to see their wine list

    #jfc Domeric stop saying ‚Äėici gar√ßon‚Äô to the bartender ur at remix on a Thursday evening and Theon is wearing assless chaps #he makes Barb pick them up in her 2001 Pontiac sunfire and he just complains about how he couldn‚Äôt get a cab sauv #‚Äėit was obscene they had no idea what I meant by a jovial aftertaste‚Äô #meanwhile theon is projectile vomiting his 9 vodka crans out the window #ok I‚Äôm done beating this dead horse #get it because Domeric. likes horses and is also dead #subway au
    View Full
  • shebsart
    05.12.2021 - 1 day ago

    The most ??? couple of westeros??

    #asoiaf#theon greyjoy#cersei lannister #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls#cerseitheon #i have mo explanation but you should be used to these stuff from my westeomance times lmao #my art#fanart#book#grrm#modern au
    View Full
  • sansaxjeyne
    05.12.2021 - 1 day ago
    another Social Media AU because they're fun.
    View Full
  • jayesimm
    05.12.2021 - 1 day ago


    View Full
  • shining-m00nlight
    04.12.2021 - 2 days ago

    Robb: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

    Jon: Just rip the bandage off.

    Robb: It’s Theon.

    Jon: Put the bandage back on.

    #game of thrones #asoiaf#incorrect got #incorrect game of thrones #incorrect quotes #incorrect asoiaf quotes #incorrect game of thrones quotes #incorrect a song of ice and fire quotes #incorrect got quotes #robb stark#jon snow#theon greyjoy #theon x robb #throbb
    View Full
  • turnscloak
    04.12.2021 - 2 days ago
    ‚Ěõ ¬† ¬† ¬†please don‚Äôt lie to me. ¬† ¬† ¬† ‚Ěú¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† (¬† ¬† ¬†@wanderism¬† ¬† ¬†)

    i¬† do¬† not¬† lie¬† !¬† ¬† ¬†we¬† ¬†killed¬† the¬† boys¬† !¬† ¬†¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†but¬† that¬† was¬† reek¬† ¬†!¬† ¬† ¬†reek¬† ,¬† ¬†but¬† not¬† me¬† ¬†!¬†¬† ¬† he¬† wants¬† to¬† scream¬† ,¬† ¬†wants¬† to¬† cry¬† ¬† ¬†:¬† ¬† ¬†a¬† ¬†curved¬† blade¬† ,¬† ¬†faceless¬† boys¬† ,¬† ¬†charred¬† bodies¬† ,¬† ¬†and¬† that¬† worm - lipped¬† sneer.¬† ¬† ¬†not¬† bran¬† and¬† rickon¬† ,¬† ¬†the¬† miller‚Äôs¬† boys.¬† ¬† ¬†never¬† bran¬† and¬† rickon.¬† ¬† ¬† his¬† entire¬† body¬† tips¬† forward¬† ,¬† ¬†eyes¬† pressed¬† to¬† palms.¬† ¬† ¬†supplication¬† in¬† his¬† very¬† bones.¬† ¬† ¬†this¬† was¬† different¬† from¬† stannis¬† ,¬† ¬†different¬† from¬† that¬† dizzying¬† hysteria.¬† ¬† ¬†jon¬† should¬† know¬† ¬† ¬†.¬† .¬† .¬† ¬† ¬†jon¬† should¬† know.¬† ¬† ¬†they¬† had¬† grown¬† up¬† together¬† ,¬† ¬†him¬† and¬† ned¬† stark‚Äôs¬† sullen¬† bastard.¬† ¬† ¬†he¬† has¬† to¬† understand.¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬†‚Ěõ¬† ¬† ¬† i¬† am¬† no¬† kinslayer.¬† ¬† ¬†‚Ěú¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† eyes¬† raise¬† from¬† palms¬† ,¬† ¬†the¬† remnants¬† of¬† fingers¬† press¬† against¬† sunken¬† cheeks.¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ‚Ěõ¬† ¬† ¬† they¬† boys¬† ¬† ¬†.¬† .¬† .¬† ¬† ¬†the¬† princes¬† ¬† ¬†‚Äst ¬† ¬†‚Ěú¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† the¬† swords¬† were¬† missing.¬† ¬† ¬†stone¬† kings¬† under¬† the¬† earth¬† full¬† of¬† rage.¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ‚Ěõ¬† ¬† ¬†bran¬† and¬† rickon.¬† ¬† ¬†‚Ěú¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† they¬† had¬† carved¬† off¬† the¬† faces¬† of¬† the¬† miller‚Äôs¬† boys¬† ¬† ¬†‚Äst ¬† ¬†him¬† and¬† the¬† reek¬† who¬† was¬† not¬† him¬† ¬† ¬†(¬† ¬† ¬†but¬† he¬† is¬† reek¬† no¬† longer.¬† ¬† ¬†he¬† is¬† theon.¬† ¬† ¬†theon¬† !¬† ¬† ¬†he¬† must¬† not¬† forget.¬† ¬† ¬†)¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†and¬† burned¬† their¬† bodies¬† ,¬† ¬†stringing¬† them¬† up¬† upon¬† the¬† castle‚Äôs¬† thick¬† stone¬† walls.¬† ¬† ¬†¬†

    his¬† head¬† shakes¬† at¬† the¬† memory¬† ,¬† ¬†entire¬† body¬† moving¬† with¬† it.¬† ¬† ¬†his¬† being¬† set¬† to¬† a¬† sway.¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬†‚Ěõ ¬† ¬† we¬† stole¬† their¬† faces.¬† ¬† ¬†there¬† was¬† no¬† other¬† way.¬† ¬† ¬†you¬† have¬† to¬† understand.¬† ¬† ¬†‚Ěú¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†eyes¬† raise¬† to¬† snow‚Äôs¬† ,¬† ¬† ¬†alight¬† with¬† horrible¬† desperation.¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬†‚Ěõ¬† ¬† ¬†they¬† were¬† gone.¬† ¬† ¬†the¬† crypts¬† ¬† ¬†‚Äst ¬† ¬†the¬† crypts¬† ¬†!¬† ¬† ¬†‚Ěú

    #i'm sorry if this makes no sense i'm still trying to figure out how to write for theon #wanderisms
    View Full
  • selkiewife
    04.12.2021 - 2 days ago

    I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone else. But the original Hurt by Trent Reznor is Book Theon and the Johnny Cash cover is Show Theon and I love them both. 

    View Full
  • wanderism
    04.12.2021 - 3 days ago

    ¬† ¬† ¬† ‚Ěõ¬†¬†i‚Äôm not saying i hate you, greyjoy,¬†¬†but if you were on fire and i had water, i would drink it.¬† ‚Ěú ¬† ¬† ¬†// @turnscloak‚Äč

    #‚ėĺ‚úß turnscloak. ‚óě ; theon greyjoy. #crack. ‚ó¶ * ; ūüźļ jon snow. ‚Ěú #sry i had to. #SDHAGKHFGHASGDKHADFDS #also follow this talented bean who is also my main bran <3
    View Full
  • cutestmanontheinternet
    03.12.2021 - 3 days ago

    I love when this manga gets serious~ but the art just makes it funny

    View Full
  • blacky-nikki-art
    03.12.2021 - 3 days ago

    Super-Duper-(Not)Simple Chibis! 

    My Excalibur Theon and Shiro-4. Nice contrast - cool and warm colors.

    View Full