i dont want to do class today i want to lie in bed and do nothing

Yeah dude those are the people who as i said IN MY INITIAL MESSAGE are either not practicing, dont take my insurance, or HAVE NO AVAILABILITY!!!

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idk like on the one hand i don’t wanna judge fandom takes but on the other (castlevania s4 spoilers below)

there are some fans saying stuff like “it’s bad that alucard made a joke about the trauma he suffered in s3, ik some ppl use humor to cope but his trauma should’ve been dealt more” and i’m kinda like??? i think it was, as much as made sense given the pacing of the story? like, he’s bonding with greta, a lot of ppl reveal serious stuff in a flippant or downplayed way, and also they’re in a rush. i guess there’s an argument to be made there could’ve been a longer scene where he and greta discuss it once they’re back at the castle, but does that really make sense? greta’s kind but she’s also *busy*, she’s focused about defending her people from the night creatures, and tbh? so is alucard. i can’t see either of them feeling like they have the time to have a long discussion about what alucard went through. i can’t see either of them necessarily wanting to so soon -- yes they’re bonding quickly, but also alucard seems like he’d be uncomfortable with delving into the subject more deeply at the moment, and greta really doesn’t know him that well yet, either. 

i think it’s totally likely and possible that they will talk about it in the future, off-camera, but maybe that’s not necessarily our business? not every fictional character needs to be seen processing their trauma in a healthy way -- whether because they’re not processing it in such a way, or because they are but it’s just not part of the story. 

(plus, i think acting like that line is the only acknowledgment of what he suffered in s3 is inaccurate? we see him coming out of the castle at the beginning of s4 and he doesn’t look well at all, it’s mentioned he’s been drinking a lot, he looks pale and like he hasn’t been taking care of himself physically. just because he’s not ready to talk about it in more than a quick way with greta -- during a chase, when she’s someone that, yes, he likes *a lot*, but also that he still has just only met -- doesn’t mean that we don’t see the effects it had on him.)

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plan is:

Write the Kenma collab today after a nap

Mmm.and something else I’m forgetting

woah song joongki admitting he's scared now that vincenzo is over bc he's scared to part w the cast and crew bc he knows how rare it is to work w such nice ppl...........

therapy really just is being asked questions so vague you just have to figure yourself out huh

bleh.

ritualise your simple tasks.

just saw a post with the ADHD cleaning tip to get stuff done within the time period of other stuff to give yourself a deadline -- clean the counter while the water boils -- and realised I’ve been doing that my whole life without thinking about the ADHD of it all. So here’s another tip from my ADHD coping brain: ritualise your simple tasks. This is just mindfulness but with more imagination. You can do it with ~real faith~ or just a roleplay scenario in your head, whatever you prefer, either way it’s a cheat code for meditating and it will make you do the thing more efficiently while also being good practice for your brain (your brain needs practice slowing down while you do simple tasks, so that when you get hit with a complicated panic!task you can still slow down; it’s a skill, and if you practice it at casual brain practice then you’ll have it during brain game day) So ok! Ritualise your simple tasks. What?

I make my coffee like I’m making a potion. Certain number of scoops of beans (five scoops lol, don’t look at me), pour in the water, give it a stir with the special stirring stick (I have an aeropress and it comes with a special stirring stick, but special tools are optional), press the coffee, throw away the grinds, rinse the press out, and then fix up the coffee how I like it with milk and sugar which then go back into the cupboard and fridge. Every step of the way, this is a potion. It’s magic and you need to focus on it while you do each part, even the cleaning up part, because rinsing the press with water from the tap is part of the ritual and so is taking and returning the items from their spots and so is counting the scoops and thanking the beans and the workers who picked the beans and the earth that grew them and the water that runs through them etc., etc., etc. It doesn’t have to be real magic. You don’t have to believe in shit. It can be pretend, you can turn making coffee into a very embarrassing fantasy daydream. Or it can be real magic, and you can take a moment to collect your energy and breathe it over the cup and really send a prayer of whatever kind of praying you do out into the universe for the coffee bean growers and the sunshine and the water in your city’s water cleaning plant while you make your (hopefully fair trade, since we’re now being very mindful of where all the elements of our coffee came from) coffee. Doesn’t matter.

Point is, before I started doing this, I left the coffee press with the grinds still in it a lot of the time and that was bad for the rubber stopper, and also left a dirty drippy coffee press on my counter to make coffee spills I’d later have to (fail to) clean up. And remembering to always clean the coffee press was such a difficult fucking chore when I was trying to just “remember to clean up after myself in the kitchen”. But if the whole process is a game/ritual/potion and I am talking myself all the way through it (talk to the coffee, talk to the water, talk to the universe about how meaningful coffee is to your day, again, doesn’t matter, just remember you are in a coffee ritual so you’ve gotta focus your energy on making the coffee until it’s complete) then I finish the ritual and I feel very purposeful and relaxed through all of it and then, bonus! I have coffee and a clean counter.

“But isn’t ritualising all your tasks OCD and bad?” here’s the thing, it can be. If you can’t make coffee without the special stirring stick or you’ll have a panic attack, then you are depending too much on the coffee ritual, and you should probably take some time to disentangle why that is. But if you are in the ritual for the right reasons -- and this is why I say make it a fun roleplay magic time -- then you’re just being mindful. You don’t have to stir the coffee with the special stirring stick or bad things will happen, you are just using the special stirring stick because you’re a cool witch making a potion. In a pinch, cool witches can use other things to stir their potions, but it matters that they concentrate while they do it. The point is not to make the coffee the exact same way every time or else you have to dump it out and start over, you can still experiment in your potion brewing, the point is that you have gone into your witch kitchen to make a potion and there are steps in that process which you must undertake with care, because every potion needs love in it.

Do things with love and care and do them on purpose, all the way through. That’s how you do mindfulness, and it is good for you and really, really good for your ADHD brain that needs practice. Do this by turning it into a ritual or a game or a roleplay scenario or whatever makes you feel good and powerful, because that’s going to be a lot easier and more fun to wrap your brain around than whatever “healthy habit” you’ve been trying to drill into your head unsuccessfully forever.

hope this helps

endless gifs of pet therapy sessions

Alright I got some time now.. Now it's time to listen to that new Cole!

I already know it's about to be fire & I haven't even heard one sample yet.

Update: I just started the first song & 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 lol 💯

I need to take the CIC exam before July 22nd or else I’ll have to study completely new material and I don’t wanna study

just hold on a minute......hold me for a minute

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