I dont like talking about my feelings or anything of that matter. But im reaching out on here hoping that possibly someone is in the same boat I am, and searching the realm of the internet for some type of self-help or advice from somewhere, wheather its youtube, or an instagram page.  I also dont trust therapy. I dont have very much experince in that boat, but with the two times jumping in. They were not successful with me to say the least. So if any on here sees this, and knows of specifically a youtuber that helps with tough days, or motivates you just a little bit more to be a better person, let me know cause ill be sure to check whatever out. Nothing im finding has been worth wile. 

I am looking into EMDR therapy.

Anyone have any thoughts on EMDR? Or insight into the EMDR process?

Guck mich an, selbst meine Freunde erkennen mich nicht mehr wieder.. es stimmt dass ich mir das Leben nehmen wollte und in Therapie war..

#Thearpy ~ RexX

For all your beauty therapies & training, kindly connect with @candymakeover . The very best of the best so far. #makeups #weedings #beauty #therapy #makeuptutorial #makeuptraining #candymakerover (at Ankaful Nurses’ Training College)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CCjpdkSpkmk/?igshid=ha2hddolz93y

Do I therapy myself for half an hour rn? Yes. Do I just talk out loud about my life, my friends, my family and my problems? Yeah. Am I doing it im english even though it’s not my native language? Of course. Am I crying now bc I don’t know if my best friend/crush will ever feel the same for me and my mother’s just kinda toxic? Absolutely.

It’s been a strange day. I went for a walk on the beach, approached a stranger and asked him to give me his smartphone to take pictures of my legs! Very strange request, isn’t it? The guy shrugged and gave me his smartphone. I took a picture of my legs and asked the guy to send them on email. Naturally, the guy asked why I did it (apparently, he thought I was crazy). I had to explain for a long time that I don’t have camera, that I was asked by an artist to take these photos, etc. The guy grinned and asked: “Can I keep these photos for myself?” Why not? It was the least I could do for him. Hah!..

July 12, 2020

I got so good at hiding my feelings I‘m even hiding them from myself

After yet another fight, I managed to convince my family to go to family therapy. 

Yay? I guess.

So I went to therapy

I cried my eyes out

And spilled all my problems

And the therapist straight up looked at me

And said

What you need is a loving Daddy type

With a big dick

And with that information,

I somehow felt cured

Jk that didn’t happen, but I know if I went to therapy that’s how it would play out. I’m absolutely sure of it.

Me @ Me:

Me to Therapist: So since my new insurance doesn’t cover you without me paying up front and I can’t afford my meds (HrT), I started back smoking.

Therapist: I support this decision.

Me: *shooketh*

Headache As A Symptom of the Coronavirus and Acupuncture | Acupuncture i…

Can your headache be a symptom of the coronavirus or something else? Can acupuncture help treat headaches as a result of becoming infected by this virus? In this episode I will discuss treating headaches!

  My first therapy session since April is tomorrow so since I have to fit three months into one session I’m putting together notes; here’s an excerpt for ya’ll

“I never thought I’d be able to manage a long-distance relationship because I’m a very physically affectionate person, even just amongst my platonic friends.  Some might call this ‘touch starved’, or ‘I have emotional trauma from my parents and can’t rely on them for affection’, and they’d be right, honestly.”

The second wave of depression hits differently than the first, because you can watch yourself get worse. You know the signs, but you feel like you can’t do anything about it. Even with therapy going on (which is good!) I don’t know what to do.

I try not to use the word “hate” very often because I think it should only be used in extreme situations.

I hate that my brother always thinks that he knows better than I do. Every time I tell him about my problems, he just brushes them off as stupid teenage stuff and insists that all my problems aren’t real. He acts like he knows everything because he’s older than me and he’s a “real adult”. Yeah, I know that I don’t know shit and yeah, he definitely knows more than I do about plenty of subjects, but I’m not an idiot, I’m not a baby, and my problems are real. They also can’t just be solved by meditation like he keeps telling me.

Like the other day for instance. I was talking about my anxiety and how I’ve been going to therapy for literal years and I told him that he doesn’t know what it’s like living this way because he’s never had to experience it. Then he turned it into a joke and kept saying “well, how do you know I’ve never been to therapy?” I know, Jack. I know that you’ve never had to go through the things that I’ve gone through. You think all my problem are trival and won’t even try to have any empathy for me. You won’t take even a minute to put yourself in my shoes and wonder what it’s like living day after day after day wishing only that you had the courage to finally kill yourself.

I know deep down I love him but I hate his complete lack of empathy and the way he belittles my problems.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND. 
I DON’T UNDERSTAND. 
EVERYTHING GETS ALL SO MESSED UP IN MY HEAD AND I DON’T GET IT ANYMORE. 


WHO OR WHAT CAN I BELIEVE? 

My psychiatrist: I think you have adhd because I’ve never seen you sit still in a session

Me:  What I thought I was doing so good at sitting still!

My psychiatrist: Yeah you see that wouldn’t even be a thought in your head if you didn’t have adhd

So I am completing a full DBT programme (well minus the phone support). It was going super well but I recently had to switch key workers because mine got promoted. Since then, it has gone to shit, I have repeatedly said I can’t trust her and feel unsafe and feel judged but they gave me an ultimatum - seeing her or dropping out. I am deteriorating. I am experiencing delusions for the first time in my life. How is this trauma-informed (I am a Psych student and seriously unimpressed rn)