why do i eat just to get fatter and hate myself even more later? why do i do anything? why do I speak? why do i breathe? why do i even live? i can’t stand myself or life itself so what’s the point?

• for every like i’ll do 20 squats.

• & for every reblog i’ll do 30 crunches.

• + i’ll do whatever is in the comments (workout related & has to be quiet)

Ed vs. Period 🏁

everything pretty much started aroud february last year aber since than i didn’t got my period until 3 days ago. i knew why i didn’t got my period and everytime i said i dont have my period they would ask me why and that i should go to the doctor. i looooved it so much that they worried. my worst fear was to get my period again because that would proof that its not enough what i’m doing and that im to healthy. and now it’s happening and i cant put the feeling i have into words. like i know that its a good thing and all but i wasn’t that much disappointed in my self for a very long time. worst thing is: i cant say that i didn’t hab my period for a year because if under eating. and for that people who dont know why will gratulat my. i cant fucking turn back time god damn it im so mad jesus christ. guess we got to go another year

-ways to throw up-

(idk if these are super good. i just looked them up)

1. drink a cup of salt water by mixing 4 tsp of salt with 1 cup of warm water. DRINK IT ALL IN ONE GO!!! it will be gross but you gotta do it

2. gurgle egg white :( sounds gross asf

3. use a toothbrush and stick it as far back in ur throat until you gag

ILL TRY TO GET MORE <3

after throwing up make sure to drink water, rest, and maybe drink some tea

stay safe i love you

today my sister called me a fat.

she doesn’t just casually use that as an insult or a joke. she just literally called me fat because i didn’t want to go on a walk with her.

i know one insult shouldn’t set me off this much, but like i said that’s not something that she just slipped up and said. she meant it.

i’ve been trying to hard and i guess it’s for nothing.

113.4lbs today so happy :))

(not my pics dm if u want them taken down xx)

y’all i’m in a sorority on my campus and we had our virtual roseball (almost like prom) tonight and we were allowed to have some wine (i’m of age!) and i had one glass but i haven’t eaten yet today and i am SMASHED off one glass 😭 also the whole bottle is 500 cal and i probably won’t eat today so i’m super happy my favourite wine is only 500 for the whole bottle

🖤💣~Black Dress~💣🖤

tbh i love working becuase it burns so many cals walking and cleaning all day omg 😻

food log!

- breakfast:

- lunch: strawberries-16kcal

- dinner: Quorn chilli-305kcal

- snack:

- calories burned: 475kcal

- total calories: 321kcal

I’m ngl, imma tad drunk sojust bare with me. I went out with my bf so i managed to burn off quite a bit but my mam was making me eat so i felt disgusted with myself and decided to drink :) fun

i gained 1.2lbs overnight which i know is like impossible and it’s probably just because i haven’t been able to ~use the washroom~ today but i still literallyyyy feel so nauseous about it i wanna die lol

TW BODYCHECK.

Body checking to feel better after eating. Probably 121lbs after eating:/ i walked a bit, not enough though.

ALSO I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT LOWKEY MAKES ME SO HAPPY put in an online shopping order and ALL the clothes i’ve ordered are size 8 imsohappydhudheje

THIS IS IMPORTANT

does anyone know how to easily make yourself puke- i really need it

thanks guys stay safe