I found out I’m the unrelatable one on ED tumblr 😭 a lot of other people fit the ED stereotypes where as I am black, autistic, lower middle class and developed orthorexia AND THEN anorexia
So here’s why I’m so unrelatable: (this is just to laugh at me and say why I don’t relate to these things. Not to call anyone out. If anything is worded offensively lmk.)
“For him to-“ huh? I have a female preference but there’s no way in hell I’d use a man as motivation to starve myself? Men fuck goats, they REALLY don’t care.
“For them to find you attractive” I’d be attractive at 200lbs. I think a lot of other people think fat=ugly but that’s not true. Face card never declined. I was obese and was still sought after, y’all are probably cute as hell and just equating fat with ugly which is false.
“I hate how competitive eating disorders are” Now why am I competing with strangers on the internet? Or even my own friends. I want them to live there best lives and do what’s best for them.
“I want people to worry” when people worry they try to stop you from doing what you want. I don’t want people trying to stop me from doing what I want
“I want to look sick” I want to be hot
“I want be small and dainty and fragile” absolutely not. I want to be skinny how Jinx from League of Legends is skinny or skinny how Widow Maker from Overwatch is skinny. I want to be intimidating. I’m already short, with big eyes and a kinda round face. No one takes me seriously as it is.
I don’t determine a binge by the amount of calories consumed. I determine it by if I was about to control myself or not. If I lose self control I could even binge on fruit. If I OVEREAT (above 800 cal for me) and it’s PLANNED that’s not a binge either. I over ate on purpose.
“I don’t feel sick enough” I used to think that and then I cried because I ate a snickers and I realized I wasn’t mentally stable. I also cried after eating a whole pizza before even though I paid for it and everything. As of today I haven’t ate in 4 days and I will allow myself to eat on the weekend. This isn’t normal behavior we’re all not well.
There’s definitely things I can relate to though. Like my family food shaming me, my mom being the main proponent in that food shame. Feeling too fat to leave the house. Not deserving to eat. Wanting to punish myself if things don’t go according to plan. Crying if I didn’t lose enough weight, developing an ED as a teen, etc. We’re all not that different because we’re all mentally unstable 😊