#thought disposal Tumblr posts

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    After weeks of an ash covered sky there was finally something to look forward to. Glad I woke up early enough to experience it.

    #thought disposal#sunrise #beautiful beautiful universe
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  • Brushing my fingers against the wind while I reach out of the window as I’m driving. A moment I’m taking full advantage of since the ash has settled a bit.

    #thought disposal#night breeze #moments taken for granted
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    Each year I’ve lost friendships- many of them dropping like flies, many of them not being as vital as I made them out to be. It reminds me of the impermanence of life & the flexibility I actively work on in my life. Recently a very close friendship of mine came to the end of its road and I felt this so deeply for the reason being that we were the inseperable kind, able to exist in each other’s silence, and we carried the same burdens.

    After a few falling outs and trying to put the pieces back together I knew it was time to let go since we’ve outgrown eachother. In a way, we were no longer conducive to the wavelengths we were parting on. Nobody talks about how friendships also carry a type of love that is difficult to lay down.. It carries the same type of gut-wrenching grief of losing a loved one. Strangers again.

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    When you need someone & they don’t question it or doubt it. Those are the moments I cling onto.

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  • It’s extremely tragic that all these people are losing their homes, income, and the life they built up to, displaced wildlife, and the hazardous air quality that has to be endured for the next few weeks along the west coast, especially Oregon.. Till the smoke & fires settle. Haven’t they suffered enough? I’m trying to figure out what is being unveiled here, but my mind jumps to the anger & sadness that so many have fallen casualty to this. I know that in light of tragic events, community is usually built, but idk maybe the answers can’t be found here. As much optimism I can have for a place, I cannot ignore the darkness that’s fallen upon them. The energy is so profound.

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  • We have displaced wildlife in the area and this neighbor is threatening to trap a bobcat because it’s a “nuisance” and a threat to his -illegal by city ordinance- chickens.

    Dude, you’re in the BOBCAT’S backyard. Hence, “Bobcat” fire.. Don’t get it twisted. The bobcat should’ve trapped your ass a long time ago if that’s how you’re gonna treat our displaced wildlife.

    #thought disposal#bobcat fire #I’m on a role in questioning peoples’ needs to have their heads examined because seriously wtf #not sorry
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  • Ugh, I had a really weird experience tonight. A man approached my car after pulling into the parking spot and he was talking to me through the window and stood there till I came out. I’m a bit disoriented because I’ve been tired all day, it’s late, and I’m double masked with an N95 over due to the smoke/unhealthy air quality so my mind is drawing blanks.

    I’m feeling so uncomfortable because he was asking for money but then I didn’t feel comfortable attempting to get money out of my bag with it being 10pm, dark in the parking area, and not knowing the guy.. Just felt really uncomfortable like it was an ambush or something. Then he was standing there extremely hesitant and persistant.. asking me to get him food either at Mcdonalds or 7/11 which were a ways from my location. He kept telling me he was from a different country and was hungry, but very fidgety at the same time. Kept saying “Are you sure you can’t just goto Mcdonalds to get me some food?” I kept telling him I couldn’t and on the spot couldn’t think of how I could help him. There were plenty of cars around so I’m not sure why he singled me out. It’s along a main road with plenty of shopping plazas, bars, and people walking at night…

    I was able to bring a bag of food down to hand to him shortly after, but he was gone.. very abruptly. I feel unsettled because I couldn’t help him and at the say time.. I didn’t feel safe. I don’t like being approached by men.. Especially at night… In this strange world.

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    Thinking about a place where I left my heart at.. which is currently on fire. Decided on green scrubs for that reason.. to keep my head in a positive state at work & remind myself that a rebirth always takes place.

    #thought disposal #lewis and clark #expedition #home is where the heart frequents #columbia river gorge #oregon
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  • Thinking back at a time when I used to make timelapses & video edits to whatever scenery and song that would encompass my mind. I truly believe there’s a song for every moment.. Stunned that they still have this one up. I can’t even find it on my phone anymore.. Somewhere up in the cloud probably >.< ☁️

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  • I wonder what it’s like to be the fire when it meets the ocean. Does it rage against the waters or does it submit to its perilous outcomes..

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  • Guys that advertise their dick size on social media are so unappealing. Nobody cares about your dick, the size of it, or even in the context of “Boohoo me, who has a big dick that stands in the way of women being more attracted to my “Amazing” personality.” “They only want me for my big dick.” And the worse part about it was how he was trying to throw in the whole Asian stereotype/prejudice… because “Asian men can’t have big dicks, god forbid, it makes me so much more special!”.. You’re a tool. It’s in the spaces between the words you just said.

    Reading the entire thread in a FB group made solely for INFP/INFJ personality conversations was such a joke to me and the intial energy of the post didn’t sit well with me either. It wasn’t the appropriate place to open dialogue on that and the dude was so brazen in fishing for compliments and praise. The fact that all these women succumbed to his bs by offering him sound advice, sympathy, and praise is just so beyond me. Covert narcissism at its best.


    Turning the internet off now, I’ve seen enough.

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    The sweetest cat I know.. Teary eyed as I write this..I miss you a ton.. You were the sweetest spirit of everyday and the meows I looked forward to whenever life got the best of me…I know you kept the baby & I safe by setting yourself as a warning sign that there was danger in the area.. and that by the time I got to you, you were no longer the spirit I knew since only your capsule was left behind. I miss you throwing yourself by my ankles and demanding pets. Talking to me when all I could be was silent and introspective about whatever was going on at the time. I wish you were here. Stubborn boy.. I wish you would just come inside and be where it was safer. I don’t want to remember you as how I found you 😔

    RIP My Midnight 🖤- June 24, 2020

    #thought disposal#Midnight#black cat #yelling into the void
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    I truly, hands down appreciate firefighters. They have my utmost respect since they have the drive to do something that I can’t even fathom, nonetheless stand in 115 degree weather and tolerate it without having a complaining spirit. This is the second fire in my area since last month and I’m fearful since this one is particularly closer than the other… Everything around me is lightly covered in ash. It makes me very sad to see mountains I Iove on fire and to think of the suffering wildlife as well. The last fire was caused by two feuding inviduals.. which I can’t understand.. who the fuck goes out to nature and lights a flame?

    #thought disposal#california #los angeles national forest #firefighters
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    Feeling like this pensive guy after studying anatomy for two days straight.

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    Breakfasts that remind me of my other home.🇹🇼

    Rice Ball with pickled veggies & chinese donut inside, plain rice porridge, and cold Soybean milk. Carb filled morning. Yummm 😋

    飯糰,稀飯,冰姜汁豆漿。

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    I genuinely miss the library. The smell of old books, the nervous tapping/clicking people made as they studied for the big exam, the facial grins in response to joyful texts, and the small talk made during study breaks.

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  • I don’t write as much as I used to, but when I do.. It’s for an absent character or perhaps a nonexistent one.

    #thought disposal #the silence inbetween pauses
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    New babies- Bat hourglass & Anatomical black skull I found at Michaels after indecisively standing there and trying to sort through what I wanted to get without putting a hole in my wallet. I can’t wait to put floating shelves on the walls to house everything so they don’t clutter my dresser shelf. Excuse the incense cone ash, heh.

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  • It’s really shitty when people get into relationships or merely get there, consume themselves with that other person, and then drop out of your life completely. No matter what kind of value or placement you had in their life prior.. Like hell, you could’ve been present in their life for years and that goes overlooked. It’s like people are looking for the next best thing to bring value to their life and you’re just.. taking up space for the time being. Where are the friendships that offer equal energy exchanges or do we just live in a time of opportunity and ghosting?

    #thought disposal #another one bites the dust #yelling into the void
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  • Fondest of memories. Taking a trip down memory lane.

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