if I see one more tinder profile with their hand on their crotch I will scream
if I see one more tinder profile with their hand on their crotch I will scream
hey tinder your algorithms need some work
i’m gonna start a segment on here where i reveal the worst tinder messages i get ! so far matt is taking the cake
Oh god they’re becoming self aware
Tinder now allows you to tell others if you’re going to area 51 or not.
An actual man child
How does one meet their person? Am I just picky or destined to be single forever? I’ve tried Tinder. I’ve tried Okcupid. All I get is dead silence. And I’m bored with those sites. I don’t like the bar scene and I’m just awkward as fuck in person.
All I fucking hear from other women is that I’m tiny, I look like an actress, I could be an Instagram model. They ask where I get my dresses and say my hair is beautiful. But every goddamn time I talk to a man all they do is talk shit. Before I met my first ever tinder date he checks if I’m wearing makeup so he can “show me off”. Dumb bastard even starts bribing me with shit like purses and scarves?? I was like the fuck and left. Clearly this is a one time weirdo? NOPE. I’m fucking 22 this and a 20 year old I dared to flirt with wouldn’t stop making comments about how I’m older than him. All while still trying to get me to “hang out” with him. You see he doesn’t want to call it a date since “girls freak out if you say it’s a date”. To my face. Ha ha what a funny in joke. You refuse to go out with a women you are interested in alone? Least she get the willlldddd idea that she dares to desire a boyfriend and not a hookup. I talk to this guy for a few fucking days and he’s ready to take me barhopping despite that fact I don’t fucking drink and said I dont. Showed my goddamn pictures to his friends and now they want to meet me. What with fuck? This show me off bullshit again. I just got more genuine compliments from women in one day than I get from men in one year or more. All those nice comments up top. From women. At work. In the cafe. Today. I snapped. It’s so emotionally exhausting to even try to date in this stupid online dating hookup culture. How hard is it to be nice. Haha look at this dumb hot bitch. I’m gonna sleep with her ha ha. No fuckface. You are literally why I can’t get any. I wanna get some!!! I do. But this toxic shit is not hot and not worth the risk. You’d have to pay me to put up with it. People wonder why I’m such a prude my god.
Tinder never ceases to disappoint
Hey look guys, still getting likes despite my account being unfairly banned.
Interesting that my BANNED profile is still getting likes.
Something doesn’t add up, tinder. 🙄
mad serial killer vibes. but if i’m ready, would this really be that bad of a way to go?
As you can see in the first image, we’d literally shared six previous messages before he “offered” to get drinks with me. Talk about a huge red flag.
Dude on tinder: why waste time making a bio when we can just message & talk?
Me: thank u, next
So I super liked this guy on tinder he was really cute and his bio was really interesting so I was like why the hell not, and to my surprise we matched. I was so excited and sent him a message just saying “hello 👋🏼”. He responded and from there we had a little back and forth banter for a couple of days until his messages became very sparse.
To put things into context, I have bpd, bipolar, anxiety and a whole lot of other mental issues that I’m working on so I can get in my head a lot; although I’m pretty good at managing it now. I assumed that he just was ghosting me and sent out a final message basically stating, “this is a shot in the dark because you haven’t really replied but I’m going to the city later and I was wondering if you wanted to hangout?”
He lives in the city and goes to school out there and so this was the perfect set up.
He eventually gets back to me and says yes we should hangout and I immediately get super excited to meet this guy. So I pile my friends into my car two of which, are in a relationship, the other one flying solo.
We start driving to the city around 9pm and arrive around 11. My brain going haywire, from being so nervous. We park near a hotel around the corner from where he lives because driving in San Francisco is super complicated and stressful and I was damn near having a panic attack figuring out where he lived and where to park. I text him that we’re here and that I’m a little lost and he calls and kinda clarifies where we are so he can walk to my car.
I’m freaking out, but my friends assure me that I’m fine and that I have nothing to worry about and then he’s here at my car and he gets in and all I can muster is “hi I’m lame.”
“Lame is cool” he says and my heart melts.
We start driving and I start talking because when I’m really nervous I never shut up. I mention how I love tattoos and I have all these ideas for the ones that I want and right now I’m really digging the idea of getting “soft” “child” above my knees.
He says, “I almost got those words tattooed on me a month ago, that’s really weird.” And I pretty much had an anurism.
We settled at golden gate park and decided to smoke in my car before we went to explore. When we got out we started to walk around him and I breaking off from the group to talk. With a burst of courage I asked him if I could hold his hand and he accepted, which made me smile.
As the night went on we found we had more things in common. I had a yellow sourin he had just bought a yellow one the other day. When we approached to botanical garden we went to look at the flowers. He told me an interesting fact about how in a color theory class his professor told him that when we as humans think of love we think of the colors pink and red because of commercialism, but in the animal kingdom purple is actually a natural aphrodisiac color. We were staring at a purple flower when he said this, and then followed up with asking which specific flower I was looking at. I pointed at the one that I was and to our surprise we were looking at the same one.
We move onward into the park and find a tennis court. It’s dark and vines and plants surround the caged walls. It was a beautiful surreal little spot, and when we looked up at the sky it was painted a dusty pink.
He asks me what I’d call that color, and I say dusty pink. He tells me that dusty pink is a color that has reoccurred in his life, and had a friend who really liked the color. I said “coincidentally it’s my favorite color too..”
We sit on the bench for awhile and talk some more, but eventually we make are way back to the car and reconnect with my friends. His hand not leaving mine.
We decide to go to twin peaks. Twin peaks at night is by far my favorite spots to go, especially when it’s foggy. There’s so much irony in going to a place where you’re supposed to be able to see everything but instead you can’t see shit.
As we’re driving I hold his hand for the most part until I get nervous about driving and safety. I get distracted easily especially when I’m around cute boys and friends and this comes as a problem when I run a red light.
A stupid mistake on my part which I beat myself up for in my head. We get to twin peaks safely though, and once again we exit the car and part ways from my friends.
This time we talk about common interests, movies, music, life goals, and psychology.
I tell him that I’m sorry I shake so much, instead of trembling I kinda violently shake. This happens when I’m nervous or cold.
“Are you nervous or cold?” He asks. I say both.
He asks if I want to wear his jacket and I accept, it’s warm and retro and he tells me a funny story about it and how it’s kinda important to him.
One thing that still rings in my head that he said to me. We were sitting there talking about how I care way to much. I tell him I just love really hard I feel like I was put on this earth to love people and care. And I do, I care so intensely. He squeezes my hand and says “that must be so hard.”
Why? I ask.
“Because people can take advantage of that and you don’t deserve it.”
He kisses me. And I kiss him back. The type of slow passionate kiss that happens in movies. Out lips moving together so desperate to explore each other’s. He caresses my face and I lean into it. It is so soft and so warm and so beautiful. In that moment he was so beautiful. So soft, yet so stern. He kissed me and I kissed back. When we broke apart he giggled “hi” and I giggled hi back, and we kissed again.
You know those kisses that people say that sparks fly, I never believed those actually existed, but I was so giddy and it’s like my heart lit up like neon sign saying open for business.
We eventually broke apart again and we both smiled. And he asked if I wanted to go back and I said sure why not, and we make our way back to my car and wait for the other too love birds to join us, my single fling hanging out in the car smoking.
Once we’re all piled in we make our way back to the dense city, and look for food. Eventually though as it was around 12 or 1 we come out dry and my friend hints that we should just wait till we get closer to home, which means we have to drop off my lover boy for the night.
We drive to his residence and park right in front and I look at him one final last time. I tell him that we should hangout again soon and that I enjoyed the night I spent with him. He agrees and says his goodbyes. Before he slips out I grab his face and kiss him one last time. One lingering kiss goodnight.
And he slips out of the car into his residence never to be seen again. I say never because the following information is why I’m sad.
We drive to Mel’s Diner in livermore and I get a text. “Drive safe 💓” from him. We eat I get home and I tell him I’m home safe.
The next morning I text him Goodmorning, he gets back to me, he tells me that he’s going to get really busy soon but he’ll make time. I agree with the credit units I’m taking this semester I definitely have a full load but I want to make time for him. He doesn’t respond.
The next morning I text him Goodmorning. He responds. He doesn’t feel well. I tell him I wish I could make it better. No response.
That night I take shrooms. I text him once telling him he’s really cool and I hope he knows that. No response.
The next morning I text him Goodmorning I tell him I hope he’s doing better and that he should lemme know what his schedule looks like so I can come see him again. No response.
Thursday rolls around it’s been a week and I message him asking him if he wants to hangout, I say he brobably hates me but it’s worth a try and he actually responds.
He says, “I’m super busy doing homework today but maybe I can catch you later just to say hi. And I don’t hate you dummy!!”
I hit him up later to see if I can see him and no response.
It drives me insane. I start using snapmaps to see if he’s been on the app. I analyze our messages to see any flaws or if he’s read them. I finally give in after another weak has passed, and ask him if I rubbed him the wrong way and that I really had a good time with him and I’d like to see him again. This time he hasn’t read it. It’s been 4 days.
One last time I reach out, a simple “hey, how are you?”
He read it yesterday.
I take the hint that he’s just not interested, but my heart is in shambles. The thing that hurts the most is I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what his turning point was. I don’t know if I made up the chemistry we had. I don’t know what I did wrong, even though I know I did nothing wrong.
I tried to reason it with maybe I was too intense. Maybe I scared him away. Maybe he didn’t like my driving. Maybe he thought I was ugly. Maybe I fucked this up.
I tried so hard this time to not be intense, but if I still was too intense what do I do with myself?
Will I ever find someone to love me?
Today’s the day that I finally have to give up. My morale broken, crushed, and buried with my heart. And I’m sad.
I’m sad he didn’t get back to me.
I’m sad he didn’t see the beauty in me.
I’m sad he didn’t see the spark I had.
I’m sad that we didn’t have the connection I thought we had.
And I’m sad that he’s gone, a stranger once again in this big world.
Tinder, thanks for the laughs.
This is… odd?
Pot sa am perspective serioase cu asemenea Țâțe la orizont, ce nu pot sa înțeleg este cum sa stai pe Tinder în 2018 și să-ți cauti următorul soț 🤷🏼♂️