Sometimes I feel like pushing a knife into my gut
Other times I feel like slicing my arm to bleed
Other times I feel like jumping off a high cliff to make it a one-way trip
Other times I feel like jumping in front of a moving vehicle
Other times I feel like pulling the trigger just in front of my heart
0i have been dramatic about david brivio and i apologize, i will move on to dramatically thirsting over mr coulthard. goodbye.
1Break up series- dreams
I had a dream I was at my aunts house and you were helping me pack everything up. I was trying to be friendly but you kept pulling away which kind of hurt. I get that we we weren’t together anymore but you came and I wanted to say thanks because it was nice of you to help even though we were broken up. Anyways once we were all done I wanted to walk you back to your car and say thank you but I thought you left which made me really upset cause I thought and said it out loud, “ he left without saying goodbye”. But then you came back around saying that you were just putting some stuff away but you were about to head out. I nodded and even though i was carrying a bunch of boxed i still offered to walk you to your car. As we were walking I almost reached for your hand out of habit but stopped myself before I almost touched it. I glanced at your face it was a bit blurry but enough for me to know it was you. You looked upset and I asked if you were okay and you kept saying im fine. And i kept pushing and you said “okay of course not. Of course i’m not okay seeing you..I feel like I’m regretting everything and I just I miss you.” I shook my head no and told you that you needed time to find someone new and just move on. And that everything is going to be okay. But you looked indifferent about it. We sat in your car and you started to cry and I grabbed you and hugged you telling you that its okay. You kept apologizing and wanted another shot but as I hugged you I told you “you’re the one who let us go. It was your decision. It was your choice. I wanted you to be happy.” And you kept saying I know. I told you that it takes time and you asked me if we can hang out or see each other again sometime and I said of course. You’re still my friend we were friends first before any of this but we’re just friends. You nodded on my shoulder and I told you I’ll always be here no matter what if you need me. I told you I love you not in the same way as before but I do. I do still love you and you said love you too and if you don’t realize that I’ll come back. And I woke up and you weren’t in my arms anymore just a faint ghost feeling of where you would be.
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It’s been years since I’ve made a poem. I just really want to express how I feel. It’s messy, I don’t want to rewrite it. I like the way it is.
0Fever Aesthetic: Sleeping
My favorite sickfic tropes when it comes to fevers are either a completely restless character or a character that is just out like a light.🔥🔥
Imagine your exhausted character closing their eyes and falling asleep in less than a minute. Caretaker tries to wake them up to take their temperature, or get them to drink water, but the character doesn’t even react to Caretaker.
*BONUS: Your character usually is never seen sleeping, they go to bed later, and wake up earlier than everyone else. Or maybe your character usually sleeps quietl. However, due to the fever, the character sleeps for much longer than they usually would.
*BONUS BONUS: The character snores from congestion, and Caretaker puts up with it because they know how much this character need sleep.*
Imagine your restless character jolting every hour after an intense fever dream tangled in blankets in a cold sweat, but they’re freezing. They feel too weak to walk around, so they lay there. Every time the character feels their eyes drift closed, they know that they’re gonna enter a world of terror that they can’t resist.
*BONUS: The character is delirious from fever, so they wake up sobbing and still “in the dream” as Caretaker tries to actually wake them up*
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So…umm this is my current mood right now and I’m just really tired so I tried to calm myself by drawing this and it’s kinda funny (for me)
Okay…so I guess it’s time for me to cry in the corner cause I still have to finish my projects and I need to study for my exam…
5Tired, yet can’t sleep being sick sucks. Hope my followers get a good nights sleep and if it’s day time, hope you’re having a great day! If you’re bored you should send me your favorite movie since I’m quarantined.
Send me your favorite movie or favorite TV show. Send me a message or an anon, just keep me company please.
7Dear diary…
I hate having to depend on pills to somehow try to cope with my mental illnesses. I hate that they just make me feel numb.
But I feel like at this point, I wouldn’t be capable of anything without them.
Lately I’ve been wanting to drop them… But I’m also very afraid of that.
I don’t know what to do.
37One of my friendo ish peeps got me into a drawing competition. He said he won when he didn’t even draw anything
Anyways, here’s the dude that “won” as a skeleton
1Why is it that you could stay up all night, even when you are tired.
But when you want to get up after sleeping, you feel like you have to fight multible hexes that render you immovable and unconscious????
0if you really love someone and can’t let him go
so.. continue
maybe you can move him
or you can be tired enough to give up
but it’s okay
at least, there is no regrets
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