I always wondered what it would have been like if I could somehow not feel any kind of emotion.
And now, here, I know …
It is as if I were missing one of the five senses.
Try to imagine if you could no longer see and hear, how would you feel?
You would be bothered by something that up until a moment ago you could easily do while you are not. And you try in vain to find a reason for it, but find no explanation.
Stay there unmoved and stare at the void while life comes at you, but you don’t react because you don’t notice it. You are just a body that continues to live but is now empty.
And the most interesting thing is that nobody realizes it because my body plays its usual part well.
0Honestly Ied like a weightloss buddy !!! /friend
Sw258
Cw233
I fast from 8pm-4pm
I work 8am-4pm Tuesday-Fridaycount that as excercise my job requires lifting and being fast ,
Sat-monday I need to make a workout plan
I try to eat healthy and I only eat dark chocolate candy wise ,
I want to be 140 pounds I’m 5’4
But I also want the weight coming off the stick
I drink about 12 cups of water
I need a buddy to keep me in check ,
You can be from anywhere , as long as we can text (or Facebook message) (I’m from US)
0All I want to do is stay in bed and watch Mew Mew Power
0Me: God I’m so tired… why am I so exhausted?!?! 😭
Me: *is working full time and going to school full time*
Me: oh yeah, I should probably take it easy and rest
Me: *picks up even more shifts at work and stays up until 2am every night*
3Me at night: *my eyes blurry from exhaustion, stinging as I click on yet another YouTube video*
Me in the morning: why am I so tired all the time
2My goal is to survive until the end of the week. If I don’t last passed that it’s ok. I made it to my goal at least, right? I’m so tired.
1do you reckon if i disappeared anyone would actually care? they’d probably be happy about it and i wouldn’t blame them either.
1I Thought
I’ve never felt so vulnerable than when I trusted someone. Bearing my secrets and parts of my soul to you. Never thinking once that you were lying. Weak to my own fantasies that I chose to believe you. Once reality checked in, the suffering began. The dark place became a home I never wanted to leave. Wanting to bury myself into the ground because the embarrassment became too much. I always had my guard up but I let it down and was clowned by you. No matter what anyone else said I still stuck with you. The worst part is, I can’t even be mad at you. I’m more mad at myself for believing in you.
“I thought you supposed to fuck with me not fuck over me. I thought you supposed to ride with me not run over me.”
0I’ve been so tired lately. Tired of sleeping, tired of eating, tired of being around people, tired of crying, tired of trying. I’m just so so tired of just being. I want to give up. I really do. But I know I can’t without hurting others and honestly I wish I just didn’t care anymore.
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