tw ; eating disorder
first entry of the day
ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ 8:47 am
— i'm finally able to be here again, thank god. i didn't have an outlet without the internet because i don't talk to anyone lmfao. anyways. i can't fucking weigh myself because my scale is low on battery and we don't have a replacement so i'm freaking the fuck out and just not eating.
— i've also been trying not to count calories and instead just eat as little as possible, but it's not working. i'm wondering about calories anyways. however, i did graduate. and now, well. my parents want to go out for a graduation dinner soon. but i can't fucking do that i swear to god i'll freak the fuck out if we go italian and i have to eat all those fucking noodles i'll fucking lose it.
— i'm in a really bad spot mentally. um. it's worse than it's ever been. my parents kicked me out and then forced me to come back. on the drive home my psycho mother started swerving and threatening to hit shit on the street and i'm just. i want out. and they won't let me out.
— i watched bo burnhams inside special at least, i think its going to be my new comfort movie. it's good and it mashes the two things i focus most on, mental health and music. i just want to be okay.