#true Tumblr posts

Amazon delivery people who cleverly hide packages to prevent porch-pirate theft do not get enough credit. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by austinwolf to /r/Showerthoughts
3 comments original

Some of our pets have the most elaborate internet lives that they don’t even know about. They spend their whole existence inside our homes. Millions of people know who they are, but they only know you. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by physalopteraptor to /r/Showerthoughts
3 comments original

If air becomes a valuable resource in the future, packets of chips will be really valuable. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by catfight_animations to /r/Showerthoughts
15 comments original

Snakes can uniquely fulfil the role of both fleshlights and dildos (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by talkingtomato2 to /r/Showerthoughts
15 comments original

Copyright lawyers are professional dibs callers (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by rabbitbat to /r/Showerthoughts
0 comments original

The fact that people don’t walk up escalators shows how we prefer laziness over efficiency (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by GarunixReborn to /r/Showerthoughts
20 comments original

The Bob Ross show was one of the earliest examples of asmr (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by IsThisLegitTho to /r/Showerthoughts
2 comments original

You have never seen advertisements for microwaves. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by Winston-91 to /r/Showerthoughts
16 comments original

1

They’re going to laugh at our century about plastic just like we laughed at other centuries about lead and asbestos. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by inorganicorgan to /r/Showerthoughts
9 comments original

You know you’re getting old when your childhood favorite actors start playing the grandparent role in a movie. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by cartoonlandy to /r/Showerthoughts
2 comments original

Don’t attend anyone’s funeral, because they won’t be attending yours. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by bassmanlew to /r/Showerthoughts
10 comments original

To us, И is a backwards N, but to Russians, N is a backwards И. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by TYPE_KENYE_03 to /r/Showerthoughts
11 comments original

The average guy has seen more dicks than the average girl (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by ChosenPrince to /r/Showerthoughts
16 comments original

When you’re looking someone directly in the eyes, you’re actually just focussing on one eye. (self.Showerthoughts)
submitted by kite-4 to /r/Showerthoughts
7 comments original

Some people say the snack that smiles back

Some people say Goldfish

Then there’s the people that say both

Me casually walking

Mom:THERES A WASP ON YOU

me:WELL TAKE IT OFF?!

Mom:*makes the wasp fall with the help of a napkin and steps on it*

Me:you didnt have to KILL it!it didnt do anything

Mom:yeah youre right * thinks about it sadly*

Me: yeah.i cant believe you did that.

Mom:IT WAS ABOUT TO HURT YOU!