I hope there are seanson 2 in true beauty
This kdrama is cooool!!!
I hope there are seanson 2 in true beauty
This kdrama is cooool!!!
"So... how was it? The scent. I got a new detergent."- Suho
Badass visual 💜🥳
true beauty makes me sad because the show makes it seem like jugyeong doesn’t have feelings towards seojun but they fell in love in the webtoon i am very upset about it
this jean fit
Summary: “I should let him go right?”
Author’s note: Finally back with another chapter, this one was a bit harder for me than the other chapters because writer’s block was a bish and I kept second guessing myself. I erased so many things and I don’t know if I am even proud of this anymore or if it’s any good LOL but I spent all day writing it so I guess I should post it. I’m not losing motivation but life was beating on my door and I feel like this wasn’t as fleshed out as I wanted it to be but I don’t have the time to flesh it out more and I really didn’t want to go another week without writing, it makes me anxious to leave them unattended for so long. So if you like anything about this let a girl now.
“You told him?” Sujin glances over at Su-ah from her place on her bed, her phone idle on the bed, she’s trying not to text a certain someone too much but that is proving easier said then done with him messaging her without any discretion or care about appearances.
Jukyeong looks knowingly at her phone with a soft smile and she hides the small square too embarrassed even though they hadn’t been talking about anything inappropriate, he was teasing her that she wore his sweaters more than he did these days and asking her if she wanted to go shopping with him so she could pick out exactly which sweater she wanted to steal borrow. She rolls her eyes at the dramatic message, she didn’t take that many of his sweaters, he was just overexaggerating as he was wont to do. She folds the sleeve of her borrowed(thank you very much) sweater over her hands and pointedly avoids looking at the vibrating device.
She has self control.
But a second vibration makes her flaunter for a minute, wondering if he’s saying something important he hardly ever double texts these days. She reaches for the phone gasping when it’s suddenly snatched out of her reach.
“Hey-!” her voice trails off bashfully at the glower on Su-ah’s pretty face, that’s her take no shit face, damn. She sits up straighter giving the girl all her attention lest she become more agitated and try to read the messages, that would be too unsettling. They had both already commented on her recent oversized sweaters, coyly trying to get her to admit to who they truly belonged to. She ignored their teasing and jut her nose in the air each time, they already knew and she refused to give them the satisfaction of saying it out loud.
“Focus on us for one minute. Your boyfriend can wait.” Su-ah states firmly putting her phone on the small desk behind her and she sputters at the comment, red hot flush barreling down her entire body like a wildfire.
“He’s not my boyfriend!” She denies vehemently, cheeks burning hotter from the nonplussed looks she receives from her two closest friends, Su-ah looks utterly unimpressed and Jukyeong can barely contain the smile spreading on her full lips, she opens her mouth to argue harder needing to smother the jolt of pure bliss that surfaced in her belly at the other girl’s bold proclamation but the words get firmly lodged in her throat.
His hands tightly wound around hers, his thumb gently caressing the rough skin of her scarred knuckles. The way she didn’t want to pull away or hide from him, he was looking at her, truly seeing her and instead of fear something warmer spread through her veins.
Those lips on her forehead, the softest sweetest kiss she had ever received in her life. Nobody had ever held her like she was something precious before but that was how he pressed her to his wide chest, her head nuzzled into his fragrant neck as she drowned in his intoxicating scent nervous to breathe him in too much lest she get lost in his spell.
The deep rumble of his voice as he called her “baby”, she had always rolled her eyes hearing couples use such supercilious nicknames with each other, what was the point? Why did being in a couple have to mean that you lost your name and essentially a piece of your identity? It was stupid and childish and she wanted nothing to do with such a transgression, or so she had believed.
Until the moment he called her princess.
What started out as a tease had transformed into something bigger than she had ever expected, she hated it or so she told herself. But when he called her Sujin in the park she felt like a part of her was missing, she wasn’t just Sujin to him anymore. In that moment she had a grand realization she wasn’t losing herself like she had initially thought but rather gaining another layer, she would always be Sujin and that was enough but she could also be his princess, his baby.
When had she turned into such a sap? This was all his fault.
“Hello? Sujin? Are you even listening to me? Hey! Are you seriously fantasizing about your boyfriend right now?” She jumps at Su-ah’s loud voice, slapping a frantic hand over her mouth and looking around as if people will materialize out of thin air.
“Can you stop saying that word, Suho might hear you!” She stage whispers and Su-ah raises a thin eyebrow at her shoving her hand away.
“Why are you so red? Did something happen between you two, you can’t hide anything from us! What happened to “we’re just friends”? She blushes redder at Su-ah’s quotation marks and Jukyeong leans forward excitedly, “Have things changed? Did you tell him how you feel? Oh my god, did you guys...kiss?!”
Su-ah stills at Jukyeong’s question before vibrating violently in her seat and grabbing her shoulders shaking her back and forth, “Sujin did you lose your lip virginity? Did you let him deflower you?!”
Sitting stunned and wide eyed, she stares at her friends expectant faces wondering how the conversation became derailed so quickly? She had invited them both over to explain the Baekyung situation and her conversation with Suho’s father but somehow Seojun had become the star of the night.
“Are you crazy why would you call it that?” She immediately realizes her mistake when both girls turn to look at each other and simultaneously shriek, “She didn’t deny it!,” and she watches in horror as they jump up and starting dancing around the room, then she groans and tugs the hood of the sweater over her head pulling the drawstrings so she is cocooned in the fabric as they start singing off key, “Sujin kissed Seojun! Sujin kissed Seojun!”
Instinctively she grabs a fluffy pillow and flings it across the room in a perfect arch before it lands with a soft thud on Jukyeong’s head, time stops as they all stare at each other and then it’s a flurry as the girl picks up the pillow launching it back and that is how Sujin gets involved in her first ever pillow fight. There are pillows flying every which way and Su-ah and Jukyeong gang up on her, shoving her into the bed and playfully smacking her on her stomach and back as she curls up in a ball body shaking from her laughter.
“Tell us everything and we’ll stop hitting you.” Su-ah promises and she shakes her head in refusal, seconds later she feels a grazing on her sides and she knows what’s coming so she tries to draw away but her means of escape are thwarted by Jukyeong grabbing her by the shoulders and pressing her harder into the bed.
“Su-ah please don’t. This is evil, I thought we were friends.” She pleads staring up at both with beguiling eyes and for a minute she thinks her puppy eyes have succeeded as both release her, but then she feels a barrage of hands on her side and laughter is forcefully pulled from her body as she twitches in a fit, twisting and turning from the hands but to no avail. She feels tears pooling in her eyes from the sensation and this is how Suho finds them, tangled up and breathless from laughter and he stares at them in shock.
“When you guys are done...doing this can you please respond to Seojun? He thinks you suddenly got into an accident or got kidnapped because you stopped responding to him.”
Su-ah turns to her with a look of triumph on her mischievous face, “That sounds like boyfriend behavior to me.”
Suho doesn’t reply except for a twitch in his lip before he slides the door closed behind him, giving them privacy again.
She tries not to rush to her phone but her eyes find their eye over to the device all the way across the room, maybe if she runs really quickly she can make it past the two girls and lock herself in the bathroom?
“I know that look. Whatever crazy plot you’re cooking up is unnecessary, you can have your phone back. I know you two hate to be apart,” Su-ah teases leaning over and then handing her the phone, she stares at it worried that accepting it will be admittance to Su-ah’s claims she hesitates to take it.
Su-ah takes the choice away from her when she places the phone in her outreached hands, “Don’t keep him waiting.” She holds the phone flat in her palms looking up at both her friends, they have identical smiles on their faces and warmth blossoms in her belly.
She’s happy, this is what happiness feels like.
But she’s also overwhelming nervous, she has never done this before, never had someone who made her feel this way. Was it supposed to be this terrifying? Putting the phone down resolutely she turns to her best friends needing their advice.
“I have no idea what I’m doing.” She admits, feeling small and more than a little bit lost. Instantly she is squished in the middle as they both come to sit by her sandwiching her in between them, twin arms thrown over her shoulders.
“We know you’re scared but he likes you, everyone can see that. When you’re in a room together it’s like he doesn’t see anyone else, you are always his focal point.” Jukyeong whispers softly placing her head on her shoulder and she wants to deny that but too many images flash in her mind of him doing just that, him dropping everything and racing to her even in the beginning when she had been a mess and constantly pushed him away. Intimate moments at lunch where his eyes hardly leave her as he ardently watches her eat the food that he had prepared just for her, despite countless girls watching him and squealing his name in the distance.
Everyone had eyes for him, but he only had eyes for....her.
“What if all of this becomes too much for him and he wants someone normal? Someone who doesn’t have all my baggage? Being with me must get exhausting.” She’s still talking about Seojun but a small piece of her is also directing this statement to them, was being her friend as exhausting? Did they ever consider just abandoning her and finding someone who didn’t have such tiresome issues?
“You still don’t understand do you?”
She turns towards Su-ah who blinks wet eyes at her and suddenly her eyes feel moist too.
“How much you mean to us. All of us. Nobody could ever replace you, we don’t care about your baggage, we want to help you carry it all.”
She blinks and stares straight ahead, scared of breaking apart.
Is that how Seojun felt too? Was she worth the trouble to him too?
When had her life ever been so simple?
They all jump when her phone vibrates again and this time she doesn’t hesitate immediately picking it up, expecting to see another message from the boy in question but instead a new number appears. She stares blankly at first before suddenly recognizing the number.
“Who’s that?” Su-ah questions, staring at her phone with pursed lips and she swipes the message open.
It feels strange to see that message beneath Seojun’s and she finds herself closing it without responding and opening Seojun’s plethora of messages instead.
I was just joking you can steal all my sweaters.
Are you still there?
Can you answer me so I know you’re alive?
He is so dramatic, she doesn’t message him for ten minutes and he’s already thinking the worst but then she remembers all the times he has found her helpless and trembling in the rain and his fear makes more sense. Smiling in understanding she finally replies, I’m okay you worrywart. Su-ah and Jukyeong are here, I got distracted.
ignoring social norm he responds to her immediately not the least bit concerned with appearing too invested.
Don’t scare me like that. I was about to come over.
“Sujin are you sure Seojun is okay with you going on dates with Baekyung, that’s who text you right?” Her head snaps up at the question, she bites her lip in consideration.
“He said he understood. He knows I’m only doing it to help him. But tonight is the last time.”
She shouldn’t be concerning herself with anyone else’s problems, hers were enough on their own. But she couldn’t help it, the other boy was going through the same ordeal as her and she saw herself in his cold numb eyes, he was existing instead of living. She knew what that felt like. She understood him all too well.
“Why does he need your help?” Jukyeong asks innocently and she stills before shaking her head, “It’s not my story to tell.”
They don’t ask anymore questions and she’s grateful for that.
She has to get ready for her date, she can’t help but wish it was with someone else. She doesn’t even want to call it a date, now that she has someone that she wants to do this all with.
She looks beautiful, she always does and he wonders if he might have genuinely liked her if they met under different circumstances? He had never learned what it meant to care for someone, too busy trying to survive but she understood him, they had so much in common. He didn’t like her-his heart wasn’t capable of such emotions he was convinced- but he felt a certain kinship that he’d never felt before with anyone else, maybe they were meant to met each other.
Could she be his destiny?
“I need to talk to you.” He stares at her across the table looking effortlessly elegant and he takes a sip of his water, something akin to dread pooling in the pit of his stomach.
“Talk then,” he answers gruffier than he intended but he can see the apology on her face and his vicious side is making an appearance in anticipation of whatever she wants to say to him. She stares at him for a long time and he wonders if she is second guessing or simply searching for the right words, annoyance surges in the wake of her hesitation he is not some child who needs sugared words or placation. “Just say it already,” he says snarkily and her eyes harden at his harsh tone, that’s more like it he hates to be pitied.
“This is our last...gathering. I can’t help you anymore. I am doing something about my situation and I think you should too.”
Rage builds up in his veins until he can see nothing but red, he thought he finally found someone who understood but here she was judging him and already abandoning him and all for what, some pretty boy idiot who would never understand what it meant to struggle? They were two sides of the same coin and nobody could ever truly love them, how could she not see that? At birth they had been deemed unlovable by their own parents and there was no way to undo that fate, it was best to just accept the hand they had been dealt.
“Do you think he really likes you?” He asks meanly sneering at her with a curled lip, this reminds him too much of Dan-oh, of that stinging rejection and the way she wanted nothing to do with him- too lost in her fucking precious Haru-ah and he can’t stop the vicious words that are falling from his mouth, “You’re just a charity case to him. Like a sick puppy he found outside, he doesn’t like you he just feels sorry for you. It’s pathethic.”
The words land exactly how he intended.
She looks angry but that fades to consternation and then doubt builds in her eyes and he knows he was successful, he has planted a seed of doubt in her mind and that will only manifest bigger and bigger until she cracks under the pressure.
“You’re wrong.” She states but she doesn’t sound certain, he can hear the question at the end and he smiles mentally. He almost feels bad but then the image of the other boy smiling with his perfect family flashes in his mind and any guilt he feels melts away. Why should he have it all when he, Baekyung had nothing?
“I’m not. You’re just a phase for him, he probably think he’s being nice pretending to like you. I’ve seen all those girls around him, why would he want someone whose weak broken and whose parents don't even want her? Don’t be naïve, it’s beneath you Sujin. People like us need to know our place.”
He stifles the little voice in the back of his mind that questions why he’s pushing away someone who only wants to be free, why did she get to escape the prison that they both had been locked in for so many years? Why couldn’t she just accept that they didn’t deserve anyone else and just be with him? Why was he always the last possible choice?
She doesn’t say another word, opening her wallet and throwing down enough money to cover the meal that hasn’t even been brought out yet. The cold look she shoots his way stops him from saying anything, he can see the hurt in her eyes and it’s twisted but he feels a tinge of satisfaction at her expression.
He watches her walk away feeling no better than his father, when had he become such a monster and why didn’t it scare him more?
What did that say about him?
The sound of the doorbell echoes through the spacious house and she wonders if it’s Sujin, and that mere possibility is enough to make her race to the door before her husband can make his way from his seclusion in his study. Most day he didn’t even bother coming out and when he did he didn’t even acknowledge her, it was heaven but it also left her guarded waiting from him to explode and hit her. It was like living in a landmine, she walked lightly as to not be heard.
The face on the other side of the door completely shocks her.
Lee Joo-Hun stands there, looking determined and she stares blankly at him. It has been months since their families have shared a meal together, she saw his visible discomfort every time her husband would berate her or Sujin. Many people showed discomfort but few did anything to help them, it was human nature after all.
Better you than me.
She forces a brittle smile to form on her face. Playing the role of happy wife easily, its a role she has been cultivating for years.
“Oh. I didn’t know you had plans with my husband today. Come on in.” She notices that there is a certain unexplained tension in his shoulders but after only a moment’s pause he nods before stepping over the threshold, slipping off his expensive loafers and not bothering to put on the slippers they have placed for guest. Maybe he doesn’t plan to stay for long.
“I’ll go get him,” she says softly wanting to do nothing of the sort, she has not been on his radar as of late and she had every intention to keep things that way but she can’t show this to their guest. Her husband would be livid if she did anything to harm his relationship with someone he saw as a beneficial business partner. She’s unprepared for the hand that stops her, tight around her wrist she has to force herself not to flinch at the sudden touch.
When she looks back, his eyes are wide and they penetrate through her and she snatches her hand back a fear rippling through her at his stare, he’s looking right through her like she’s made of glass.
“Sorry,” he apologizes and she smiles nervously waving him off, “I was just surprised you didn’t do anything wrong.” But he’s peering at her like he knows everything racing through her mind and she has to glance away, it’s all a bit too much and suddenly the study door opens and all the air is siphoned from the room as her husband exits the room, his face changing quickly when he notices that they have a guest, she knows that the rage that first appeared will make return once they are alone again.
“Why didn’t you tell me that we had a guest?” The inquiry is said innocuously enough, he has long mastered repressing his rage in front of others but she can see the anger in his brows.
Before she can answer, Joo-hun stands between them blocking her completely from her husband’s gaze.
“Let’s talk.” Her husband raises a brow at the commanding tone and she can read him as easily as a book, he’s furious at being spoken to in such a tone but the other man doesn’t give him an opportunity to disobey because he’s already walking into the study. Her husband glares at her as if she is to blame before disappearing into the room and shutting the door in her face.
Without a conscious thought she presses her ear against the door but the wood is solid and she can barely hear anything and she leans back about to admit defeat but then the voices raise becoming progressively louder and she hears her husband shout, tone bristling with fury, “How dare you threaten me in my own home!” and the loud booming voice of Joo-hun rings out, “You disgust me and I will do everything imaginable to make sure you end up where you belong.”
The temperature drops at those chilling words and she takes a step back at the sound of movement behind the door, once again coming face to face with the man.
His expression softens when he sees her but she can still see a glint of hardness beneath the surface. He had expressive eyes, they were part of the reason he had been such a celebrated actor.
She’s certain now, he knows what a monster she is.
If her husband deserves to suffer then so does she for everything she has done to her poor little girl, she was just as culpable if not more. If only she hadn’t been a coward and left when he first started hitting her, if only she had gone through with the abortion. She had selfishly brought a child into this world knowing that their life would be hell just like hers because she was scared to be alone. She wasn’t a mother, she wasn’t even fit to be called a human at this point and the look he gives her makes her feel like scum on the bottom of his shoe.
“I’m leaving.” He announces walking back over to his shoes, and she had been right he wasn’t planning on staying long.
A loud bang suddenly fills the empty void, her husbands scream are not too far behind as he flings books and whatever he can get his hands on into the walls.
She knows what fate awaits her tonight.
This is her punishment and it’s exactly what a stain like her deserves.
She stares absently at the ground, the sound of the door knob turning reaching her ears and she knows that she’s going to be alone again. The door opens and she sighs, waiting to hear the door close knowing that in seconds she will be a whimpering mess on the ground.
But the sound never comes, and she looks up to see what’s stopping him and his eyes are still hard but not as sharp.
“Come with me.”
She hears the word but the sentence does not compute and it takes a moment for her to process what he just said, her mind tells her that surely she heard him wrong. There’s no way he said what she thought he said.
But then he reaches out a hand and she stares at his palm.
“Why would you want to help me? I’m not a victim. I knew what he was doing, I knew everything and I did nothing. I am just as bad as him. She hates me too. I didn’t protect her.”
It’s the truth, she lost the right of calling herself a victim as she watched her husband step on her seven year old daughter and her first thought was thank goodness it’s not me. That was the day the light left Sujin’s eyes but hope didn’t fade completely not yet, but each time her father hit her those huge eyes would look her way and each time her heart constricted but helplessness stopped her from acting. It took years but all that youthful hope was extinguished and she never heard that word again, “mother” it seemed fitting since she had never been a mother to the girl.
“I don’t understand why you did what you did. But it’s not my place to judge, despite what you think you are a victim and I am done turning a blind eye. Staying here won’t help Sujin, she needs her mother.”
Sujin needs her? That sounds laughable but then a distant conversation resurfaces in her memory and she feels frustrated tears welling in her eyes.
“What does it mean to be a mother? I can’t answer that question for you but the fact that you’re asking that means you want to try, so do that. Try your best and apologize when you’re wrong. That’s all mothers can do.”
The woman looked so fragile laying in the hospital bed but the strength of her words were undeniable, she didn’t know what made her visit she knew if her husband caught her there would be retribution but she couldn’t stay away. She didn’t even have an excuse and they simply stared at each other before the other woman smiled at her and motioned for her to sit on the chair, she had done so without question.
There were flowers all over the room, both fresh and old.
“Someone must really love you.” She had said and she watched jealously as a maternal smile graced her face, she could almost feel the motherly pride.
“Sometimes my son gets carried away.”
The boy on the motorcycle, she had thought he was just a delinquent but the amount of flowers in the room said otherwise.
That was ultimately what pushed her to ask the silly question: what does it mean to be a mother?
She had never known, her own mother had treated her like a bargaining chip that would lead to the betterment of her own life, naming her fortune only to force her to have anything but that in her life.
The woman had smiled delicately before answering her.
The words swirled around like a tornado in her mind, she hadn’t expected such a simple answer.
“Are you coming?” Joo-hun’s voice brings her back to reality and she thinks about Sujin and the day she was born and how small and vulnerable she looked laying in her arms as they both cried, wailing their hearts out.
She hadn’t known what it meant to be a mother back then and she’s no closer to knowing now but she knows that she wants to try, Sujin might never forgive her for what she did and she wouldn’t blame her. But she still wanted to try, even if it took her whole life she would spend it trying to repent for all her sins.
She takes one small step forward, the shackles that have been tightened around her body her whole life crumbling in the face of her renewed hope.
I want to try.
She isn’t wearing his sweater, it’s pitiful but that’s the first thing he notices when he sees Sujin in the morning, she’s walking alone and he can’t stop the joy that shoots through him at the observation it was never easy to see her arrive with the other boy despite knowing the truth. But today the encroacher is nowhere to be seen and he settles the kickstand of his motorcycle before rushing over to her, without thinking he wraps an arm around her shoulder but then he feels her body tighten at the unexpected touch, “Relax, it’s just me,” he whispers airily but to his disappointment her body becomes more rigid at his words.
He immediately removes his arm, moving out of her personal space- not understanding what exactly is going on but still not wanting to be the source of her discomfort.
He shifts apprehensively, already wrecking his brain to think of what he might have done to warrant such a bitter cold reception from her but coming up emptyhanded. So instead of trying to guess and create his own reasons, he asks her, “Are you okay? Did I do something?”
He can tell she’s going to lie before she even opens her mouth, he watches the swarm of emotions play across her face before she settles on nonchalance, “No. I’m fine, you surprised me. I don’t want to upset your fangirls so I think it’s best if we avoid each other at school.” He stares at her in shock, wondering if this is the same girl who he held on the bench just days ago her lips soft on his cheek and her perfume filling his senses?
“I already told you I don’t care about them. You already know that I only care about yo-”
“Stop. I can’t do this right now I need space, I have to go.” She interrupts him and after a long gaze she stalks away and he wants to follow her, nothing she’s doing is making any sense not after everything they’ve been through. He’d given her everything he could offer and it still wasn’t enough, she was still walking away and he was tired of chasing her, if it was that easy to walk away from him time and time again then maybe he was fighting a losing battle.
He turns around, walking the other direction.
He misses the dark eyes that follow him over a small shoulder. He doesn’t look back. This time he chooses self-preservation.
He doesn’t go to lunch, unable to bear the thought of sitting across from Sujin and pretending that he’s okay when he feels like a hollow fruit. So he escapes to the roof top and instant regret fills him as he remembers all those months ago when he had held the other on this very roof, it had been so different from their hug at the hospital and the hug in the rain. Those hugs were filled with what he thought was affection, but now he doesn’t really know. He can’t understand why she’s suddenly pushing him away again when he thought they had overcome all the barriers between them.
Was it because of her father? Had she only kept him by her side because he had helped her but now that Suho and his father were on her side she realized that she no longer needed him? It pains him to imagine that this could be true but the thought rolls around in his thoughts until he starts to believe it, that has to be it. Was he that expendable to her?
Clearly the answer was, yes.
The rooftop door suddenly bangs open and he hates his heart for speeding up, as he turns around piteously hoping to see her. HIs heart plummets when he’s greeted by a smiling face that’s nowhere as beautiful as the one he hoped to see, he tries futilely to hide his disappointment with a smirk.
He recognizes the girl as one of the people who have confessed to him in the past months, she wasn’t as nervous as the others but it had taken her a few minutes to stutter the words out and he had gently turned her down, he wasn’t cruel because he knew how terrifying it was liking someone and not knowing if it was reciprocated.
She shuffles anxiously on her feet and he wonders how she knew he was up here. Sometimes the girls at school made him uneasy, their fixation with him wasn’t normal.
He watches at she inhales deeply before looking at him with an unwavering gaze.
“I know that you said that you liked someone else and I respect that. But I haven’t seen you dating anyone and I just like you so much you’re all I can think about and .....Cantyoujustgivemeachanceifshedoesntlikeyouback?”
It takes an extra moment to decipher what she said with the rapid speed that she expels the words and he stares at her, her breathe coming out in short winded puffs like she just ran a marathon.
He steps forward purposely, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder before answering her, thoughts of Sujin’s sudden rejection permeating his mind.
She walks away stunned by his reply and he doesn’t go down until the bell rings, he still isn’t prepared to be in the same room as Sujin but he can’t avoid her forever.
The classroom is abuzz, he can hear excited voices as he walks down the hallway and he wonders what bit of gossip has their attention now, he slides the door open only to feel all eyes land on him. The class goes silent before suddenly he’s being bombarded with questions.
“Is it true?”
“Why her? I liked you before she did.”
“Are you finally going to get a girlfriend? It’s not fair you shouldn’t only date one person oppa.”
He ignores them all sliding into his seat and dropping his head onto the table, when they realize that he has no plans of answering their invasive prompts they go back to gossiping about him as if he’s not sitting right there.
He rubs his temple, trying to stop the head ache he can feel forming but he knows that it’s already too late.
The energy shifts in the room and without looking up he already knows why, he can hear the telltale clicks of her shoes on the floor.
He hears Su-ah’s voice shortly after, “What are you all so excited about? Did something happen?”
It’s vindictive but he wants them to hear the gossip so he finally looks up, eyes settled on Sujin who is already looking at him.
“Oh! Su-ah it’s the saddest news, Han Seojun is getting a girlfriend. He finally accepted a confession.” A girl whose name he doesn’t know wails as if her life is over and he watches the confusion morph on Su-ah’s face before he glances over at Sujin and she looks devastated and it suddenly he feels sick instead, what is he doing finding enjoyment in this?
He can’t hold her gaze, he doesn’t know what the look on her face means and he doesn’t want to analyze it, he’s done doing this.
“It’s just rumors.” Su-ah repeats this over and over like a mantra, but she can’t hear a word that the other girl is saying all she can think about is Seojun with someone else. She imagines him smiling and holding someone else, cradling their cheek as he kisses their forehead and wrapping them in his too big sweater while beaming down at them and it makes her rush to the bathroom, water scalding her hands before she can even think about what she’s doing.
“Sujin no!” Jukyeong snatches her hand away from the too hot water and she only fights her for a moment before lets herself be pulled away, losing all her fight.
“Calm down Sujin, talk to us. What happened between you two?” Su-ah asks firmly and gently and she can’t stop the diarrhea of words that explode from her mouth as she tells them everything, Baekyung and how much his words stuck in her mind and her doubts about Seojun and whether she could truly be loved by anyone much less someone as coveted as him. What right did she have to drag him down?
He might like her now, think that he was aiding someone helpless but was that all this was? Was she just something to soothe his ego?
“Do you really feel that way?”
She jumps at the harshness in Jukyeong’s tone, she has never heard the other girl talk like this before. She has never been anything but kind when speaking to her, the tone makes her head spin.
“What?” She replies at a loss for words.
“Do you really think that’s true? Do you believe the words you are saying right now?” Jukyeong presses harder and she stalls at her interrogation, not knowing what she thinks anymore she can barely trust her emotions- they change too quickly without her permission or consent. It makes her miss the days when she felt nothing, numbness overwriting all these pesky feelings.
“I...I...I don’t know.”
The silence drags on before she hears Jukyeong sigh heavily, “Then I think you should let him go.”
It’s the last thing she expects to hear especially from the ever optimistic girl and acid runs through her body at the mere suggestion.
“What do you mean?”
“This isn’t fair Sujin, you can’t play with someone like this. You can’t push him away and then get jealous when someone else shows interest, he’s not some toy that you can pick up whenever you see fit. He is a person, who really cares about you. If you still don’t know what you feel for him then maybe it’s best to let him go.”
She turns to look at Su-ah hopeful that the other girl will say the opposite, will implore her to fight for Seojun. She’s crushed when she sees a similar look on Su-ah’s face. It’s a mix of exasperation and pity, she hates it.
They both think that she should let Seojun go.
She leaves the bathroom with nothing in her mind, walking aimlessly back to class taking her seat and robotically pulling out her notebook. She doesn’t hear one word that the teacher says for the rest of the time, her heartbeat wildly thumping in her chest.
When class ends it takes Su-ah calling her name a few times to break her from her stupor.
“It’s time to go home.”
“Oh.” She starts to put her books away in her bag, dropping one when Seojun walks past her table without a sideways glance, it’s like they are strangers again and that makes her want to scream because this was all her fault.
She can’t bring herself to speak the word aloud and he leaves, walking away from her just like she had this very morning.
He’s already speeding off on his motorcycle when she gets outside and she sees a girl beaming at his back, surrounded by a group of girls who are congratulating her and telling her how jealous they are.
That must be her, the lucky girl.
The one that had replaced her so easily. She stomps away ignoring Su-ah and Jukyeong’s cries of her name. She knows she has no right, none at all but she does it anyway she has to know if this is really the end.
That’s how she finds herself outside of his apartment, staring at his motorcycle the proof that he is here and not out with the girl from school, it makes the unease in her stomach unfurl slightly. Staring up at the looming building she tries to think of what she can say to him, she should listen to Jukyeong what she was doing wasn’t fair but she can’t lose him, she had undid all the good in one fleeting moment because she didn’t trust them. Baekyung had said the words but she was the one who chose to believe them, the one that let those words wedge a divide between them and for that she was solely to blame.
Saying sorry wouldn’t nearly be enough, but that’s all she can think of as she pushes the door open and calls for the elevator.
The ride has never felt that long all the other times she has visited his apartment, but today it feels like an eternity but when she reaches his floor it feels too soon and she’s not ready.
Which is exactly why the universe gives her no warning and as the doors open she meets his eyes, he looks notably surprised to see her there and takes a step back in his shock.
Once she recovers from her own shock, she takes in his attire he’s no longer wearing his uniform- dressed in all black from head to toe like a grim reaper and she wonders if grim reapers are supposed to be that hot, absently she steps out of the elevator before the doors can close between them. Her tongue feels huge in her mouth as she openly gapes at him.
“What are you doing here?”
“Where are you going?”
Their questions collide and his gaze sharpens once he processes her words, she knows she has no right to question him about anything and his cold look echoes that very sentiment.
He scoffs at her and tries to circumvent around her and she feels the floodgates opening up in the face of his blatant disregard, “I know you’re tired of hearing this but I’m sorry.”
His expression barely changes, as he folds his arms peering down at her.
He tries to walk around her once more and this time she’s the one to invade his personal space, gripping his elbow to stop him from walking away from her. She has an irrational fear that if he walks away that this will be her last chance, it makes her let down her guard fully terrified she’ll never get another opportunity.
“I was scared, that once you realized that I was always going to be this broken you wouldn’t want me anymore. Even if he goes to jail I’m always going to be like this, a broken fucking mess and how can I ask anyone else to deal with that? How can I ask you to give up on having a normal relationship with someone who won’t need therapy for the rest of their lives? I should give you up, everyone is right. I don’t deserve you. I don’t.”
Despite her rapid blinking a few stray tears escape her tight hold and she watches the wall he put up around his heart gradually start to stilt away as his eyes opens up in the face of her palpable dismay.
“Please let me finish, if I don’t say it now I’m scared I never will.”
He stares at her before nodding slowly.
She takes a deep breathe before continuing, “I’m not good girlfriend material, no don’t argue I’m not. I will doubt us all the time and I won’t always talk to you about my feelings because I’ve spent so many years ignoring them, I only spoke to you last time because it involved your family. I knew I couldn’t keep that from you but this didn’t seem as important. I should be able to handle it on my own, I’m not a baby. I’m too impulsive and selfish and a coward and....I shouldn’t burden anyone with dating me.”
It looks like it’s taking everything in him not to rebuttal, because when it really matters he always listens to her.
“I know that I haven’t made this easy on you and I should have just let things be-let you be with someone normal, but I can’t and I know why, I’ve always known why but I was too scared to admit it. I can’t just be friends with you anymore.....I want more.”
She can’t believe it but the words are now out in the universe, the ones that she has been thinking for months and swallowing every time he showed her how much he cared about her, and he looks taken back by her confession, she hadn’t planned on saying that when she showed up but now it feels stupid to keep it to herself, if she’s going to lose him then she might as well be honest, at least once in her life.
“Can I speak now?”
She doesn’t know if she’s ready to hear what he has to say, but it’s only right since he listened to her, taking a centering breathe she nods at his inquiry preparing herself for the worst.
“You are selfish.”
Her heart sinks at his words, that isn’t a good start and even though he is merely echoing her words it burns deeper to hear them from him.
“And impulsive and so damn confusing, you’re hot and then you’re so damn cold and I’m only human Sujin I can’t just pick myself up after you push me away every time, I get hurt too.”
She tries not to bristle at his tone and the lack of nicknames, feeling her heart sink into her stomach now.
“When that girl confessed to be do you want to know what I thought?”
She blinks at the sudden change in topic and her immediate answer is no, she does not want to know at all but he doesn’t even give her a moment to reply before he’s answering his own question.
“I thought she is so straightforward and this is so different, I don’t have to guess about her feelings she wears them on her sleeve, this is so much easier being with her would be so much easier.”
Her first real confession and rejection all in one day. She has always been an overachiever and it’s only fitting that this would be no different, blinking harshly she forces the tears to stop she has no right to make him feel guilty, everything he said was right and she couldn’t blame him for choosing the path of least resistance.
“Thank you. For everything, I really mean it.” She bows at him before turning around, she can’t stay here for another minute not knowing that he’s no longer hers and probably never was in the first place.
It’s all too cruel.
She presses the button, she should just take the stairs but this will buy her a few extra minutes with him, it’s pitiable but she wants to savor every remaining moments.
The elevator arrives, gleaming metal doors sliding open and she steps inside ready to go home and cry her eyes out.
But then a large hands wraps around her wrist and she’s suddenly tugged backwards her back slamming into his chest.
“Where are you going? Did I say I was finished?” His voice is rough in her ears and she can feel the rapid beat of his heart through his skin, it amps up her own racing heart too scared to even hope but she feels brittle and unsteady his body is the only thing keeping her upright.
“Dating someone else would be easier, but the thing is I don’t want easy. I’ve never wanted easy, I just wanted you in anyway that I could have you. So why are you trying to “set me free”? Fuck that self sacrificing bullshit, you said it yourself you’re selfish so hold on to me and don’t let me go, when you have doubts hold on to me tighter. I’m not some caged bird that you’ve imprisoned, I’m the guy who likes you and that’s not going to change because you pushed me away. Do you feel feel that? That’s fear. You’re scared to lose me. Good, remember this feeling and how much it makes your heart ache and hold on to me tighter.”
She hiccups at his words, tears pouring down her cheeks now and she finds herself turning in his arms before her brain can catch up, relief washing over her so profoundly she sways a little on her feet.
He has a shit eating grinning on his face as he stares down at her.
“You didn’t accept her confession.”
He rolls his eyes at the statement, pulling her closer although there is no space left between them.
“No I turned her down again but some girls saw us come from the roof top together and they started spreading rumors anyway and I couldn’t be bothered to stop them.”
She stares unimpressed at him, reading between his lines and feeling foolish because she fell right into his trap.
“You knew it would make me jealous.”
He shrugs noncommittedly, “I hoped it would help bring you to your senses.”
Has she been brought to her senses, she’s not sure she feels crazier than before his words echoing in her brain and she’s moving before she even knows what her intentions are, his smile starts to slip away and he releases her and makes an apprehensive retreat backwards and she automatically follows him, he steps back, she steps forward, another step back and she steps forward again, they do this dance until he’s pressed against the wall with nowhere else to run.
“Why are you running?”
He blinks looking dazed and she takes that opportunity to move in closer, cradling his face in her hands before leaning her head forward until only an inch separates them, a scratching noise comes from the wall and when she glances down she can see his nails digging into the paint, she hums at the sight and the implications.
She was clawing at his resolve.
Skin vibrating like a livewire she gently pulls him down, until they are eye level and their breaths are curling in the miniscule space between them, those feline eyes are darting all over her face before they land on her lips, she sinks her hands deeper into his hair.
“Are you sure about this?”
She has to ask one last time, this all feels like a dream and she’s terrified of waking up and finding that she imagined this all.
He doesn’t answer at first, too busy staring a hole through her face but she waits patiently, remembering all the times he had waited for her.
“Can I really keep you? Do you really want to be mine?”
It’s so cheesy and sappy and all kinds of ridiculous, nothing that she ever imagined for herself because she never thought anyone would make her want to say these kind of sweet nothings but here they are- and there’s no turning back now she waits for his reply with bated breath and this time he barely pauses for a second instantly answering, “I’ve been yours this whole time. Are you mine though can you let me in?”
When you have doubts, hold on to me tighter.
She drags him the rest of the distance between them, her lips barely grazing his own and it’s crazy because her lips are already on his, soft flesh upon flesh but it takes a moment to realize that she’s actually kissing him, she is kissing Han Seojun. They are kissing.
She has no idea what she’s doing and she leans onto her tiptoes pressing more firmly against his mouth, imitating the kisses she has seen on tv and from couples in the hallway at school twisting her head to find a better angle but something still feels wrong and it takes another moment to realize what’s wrong.
He is frozen on the wall, completely still under her ministrations.
And she immediately pulls away, apologetic and feeling bone deep shame.
“I’m sorry! I had no right to spring that on you, you barely forgave me and I did that. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
His eyes are glossy and his cheeks are so red and it’s almost too beautiful to look at, how was she not supposed to kiss him when he was looking like that?
“Don’t apologize, you just made my brain short circuit. Come here.”
She blushes bright at his too honest admittance, feeling giddy from the power that she seems to have over him. She had been scared that her inexperience would be off-putting for him.
He tugs her back, letting her body block him in against the wall and she gasps at the warmth of his body he’s so hot even through the layers of clothes separating them. Her breath hitches when he starts to lean back down and this time when their lips meet it feels like the universe has righted itself, the stars and the moon are aligned and something clicks inside her like a gear snapping into its rightful place.
It’s a simple kiss, a mere press of lips to lips but it is perfect and sweet- nothing like what she imagined because her mind could never fathom something so ideal, the softness of his mouth on hers is enough to make her toes curl and when he wraps his arms around her waist, one hand tight on her back as he eliminates any space between them dragging her impossibly close, she sighs unable to contain her delight as a smile works its way across her lips. He chuckles into the soft press of their first kiss and she can’t help the answering giggle that she lets out, to anyone else they would look deranged but she doesn’t care, this was real.
He breaks away only to pepper kisses all over her face- first her forehead then her cheeks, her nose and even her chin, all left warm in the wake- and she blushes under his passionate and diligent attention before grabbing his face and kissing him harder on those plush red lips, hands tight on his hair as she tastes him for the first time. He’s intoxicating and she knows she can never go back to being just friends, not when his flavor is thick on her tongue and she knows what his moans taste like.
Not when his hands are bruising tight on her waist and his scent is coiling around her like a blanket that she never wants to be without.
She was allowed to have this and she would relish every minute.
He sits awkwardly on the couch with the woman he has only ever seen a handful of times, when his father had called him and asked for a favor he had never expected this. He had been completely flabbergasted to see the woman on his doorstep but stepped back to give her entrance, nonetheless.
He knew that his father meant well, was hoping that the two would be able to reconcile like they had but he was forgetting how much they fought before getting to where they were now. It had been an arduous path to restoring their broken relationship and he feared that Sujin and her mother had differences that might be irreconcilable .
She looks like Sujin, just more weathered and beaten down by life in her expensive clothes and jewelry none of it doing anything to hide the sadness that wafts off her in ebbs and waves. He tried calling the other girl several times but to no avail as he reached her voicemail over and over again, he knows that there is no way this can end well but he couldn’t kick the woman out either, not to be with that sadistic bastard.
“I should go. She won’t be happy to see me.” She states matter of fact and he’s not a good enough liar to try to argue with her so he says nothing at all, staring at the floor in silence.
Then the jiggle of keys reach his ears and they both sit taller, gazing at each other wild eyed as the door pushes open.
Sujin looks blindingly happy, a wide smile stretched across her face and he contemplates throwing a blanket over the woman’s head to hide her- just so the girl can enjoy a few more seconds of happiness but it’s already too late, Sujin slips off her shoes putting on her slippers and walking over to him, her eyes are still on the ground and then she finally looks up and all the air is sucked out of the room.
All of the joy and exuberance that had previously been imbedded in her pores dissipates and he sees a look so numb, it feels like he’s seeing the Sujin from months ago cold and shivering in Seojun’s arm, the one that didn’t want to live and saw her life as expendable.
He wonders if he did the right thing? Would she ever forgive him for this?
She doesn’t say a word, throwing the keys on the table and sprinting back to her shoes, haphazardly stuffing her feet back into them and shooting him one final look of betrayal that makes his blood turn to ice before she slams the door behind her, the sound so powerful the walls vibrate.
“She hates me.”
From that look on her face, her mother wasn’t the only one.
They are too adorable 🥰 EP. 115
Catching up. I’ll definitely will start posting screen caps again.
Hey Everyone. I hope who ever reads this is happy and healthy. So I wrote this idea for my Han Seojun x Kang Sujin fanfic but it didn’t really fit the story at the time, even though I had set it up in the published story twice, so I cut it. But I still loved this idea so I wanted to share it here.
I would have shared it earlier but I was trying to get the Joseon Era AU started before that but man, have I been struggling with that story. Writing historic fanfic is HARD! Anyway I still wanted to leave this here. Hope you all like it.
Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun
Word Count: 1.7k
Rating: Slightly Mature... or maybe PG 15? I dunno. I am bad with ratings
For all of his flaws, Han Seojun had one thing going for him. He was unashamed. Unashamed of his slight lack of academic intelligence, unashamed of his troublemaker persona, and definitely unashamed of losing to Kang Sujin at everything imaginable.
“Ah-nee, how could you get so good at basketball?” He panted, pulling up his shirt to wipe his brow, not because he was sweaty, but because he wanted Sujin to stare at his abs.
“I was always good, Han Seojun.” Sujin said proudly, holding the basketball by her waist as she unabashedly eyed his abs. “I told you, I was just off my game that day.”
“You were distracted by my face.” Seojun smirked.
“Of course, I was. I had a massive crush on you.” She grinned, kissing him.
“Ooooh, chagi, you had a crush on meee.” Seojun teased like a school boy who had discovered her most embarrassing secret.
“We’re practically married.” Sujin pointed out dryly, the fact that they had been together for over a year now.
“Still.” Seojun grinned.
“Doesn’t change the fact that I finally did beat you.” Sujin countered.
Seojun didn’t tell her that he had let her win today. Her loved her competitiveness and the giddy way she grinned when she won. If Seojun could, he would let her win everything her heart desired. But this he would never tell her, mostly because she would kill him. And Seojun really wanted to live, especially now that he had someone else to live with.
“Technically, we’re at a draw. You only cancelled out your win from back then.” He stated. The two had started packing their things. Sujin dumped her water bottle in their gym bag.
“Oh yeah? Well, I’m about to win this argument.” Sujin grinned an evil grin, leaning closer. She spoke in a sing-song voice, “I know your big secret.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Seojun smirked. He was an open book, there was nothing he ever hid from anyone. And even if he did, there was nothing he was ashamed of.
Sujin took out her phone and pressed play.
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo
Really? Yes! Okey dokey yo
Say la la la la la la la la la la la
“Told you I would find out.” Sujin’s evil grin spread wide as Seojun’s smug smile wavered.
It turned out that here indeed was one thing that Han Seojun was ashamed of.
“Ya, Kang Sujin!” Seojun went for her phone but she bounced out of his way, skipping backward.
“What’s wrong, Seojun-ah? Don’t like this song?” She asked in mock innocence.
Oh God, the horror. The pain, the anguish! The embarrassment!
“Ya! Come here!” Seojun ran after her and she sprinted away from him, running around the court. “Stop playing that!”
“No way. This is my new favorite song.” Sujin shouted back breathlessly as she ran full speed. Seojun caught up with her and she squealed and laughed as he held her by the waist.
“Are you not going to stop?” He didn’t lunge for her phone. Instead opted to tickle her, making her squeal some more, laughing uncontrollably.
“I cave! I cave!” She said, her eyes tearing up from the laughing.
Seojun took her phone and turned off the song. Sujin was red from laughter and Seojun felt an ache to kiss her then and there. But he didn’t want to encourage her triggering the PTSD he had from that embarrassing incident in high school.
“Lim Jukyung is such a traitor. I can’t believe she told you.”
“I’m your girlfriend. Of course, she told me. Shouldn’t I know you were dancing around half naked in front of another woman?” Sujin wiped the tears from her eyes, still shaking from the aftershocks of laughing.
“Aish! That was so embarrassing. I never want to remember that happened.” Seojun admitted, going red as he thought back to when he had been dancing around in his house, wearing nothing but his underwear and had failed to notice that Lim Jukyung had been there with his sister the entire time.
“Waeeee? I find it funny.” And then she burst out laughing again. Han Seojun walked away in a huff. He couldn’t face the embarrassment any longer, especially not in front of Sujin.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Sujin chased after him.
Han Seojun would have buried the incident again, along with his memory of that song but then there it was again.
That dreaded song.
They were having lunch with everyone; Jukyung, Suho, Taehoon, Suah and his squad with Chorong, when suddenly, he heard the tune faintly.
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo
Seojun thought he was imagining it. But then Sujin took out her phone and the song played clearer. That damn woman had set it as her ring tone.
That dreaded song.
“Oops, getting a call. Be right back.” Sujin said with just enough pretend innocence that it passed off as sincere to others, but he knew. He knew.
Han Seojun glared at Jukyung accusingly and she made an apologetic face. Luckily, no one else seemed to pick up on Seojun’s discomfort. Suho did give him a pointed look but Suho knew that he did not have the privilege of making fun of Seojun the way Sujin did. And that wasn’t a matter of Seojun getting mad at him. It was a matter of Kang Sujin destroying anyone who would say one syllable against her boyfriend.
“Sujinnie,” Seojun pouted like a child that night as they made dinner, “I don’t like your ringtone.”
Her phone had been ringing all day. A little too frequently, Seojun had noticed. It was almost as if Sujin had scheduled all of her calls to today just to mess with him.
“Oh, should I change it?” She asked causally, “Okay, you pick something you like.”
Seojun grinned and padded over to the counter, setting her ringtone to one of his songs.
That night Seojun had gone to sleep thinking that chapter of his embarrassing event was over. He dreamed peacefully of being on stage and serenading Sujin with the songs he had written for her. But then his dream was interrupted with that jingle again.
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo
Seojun woke up with a gasp. No, it wasn’t just his dream. The song was actually playing. Sujin stirred and shut off her alarm.
Her alarm that was set to play Okey Dokey.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Seojun screamed in his head, cursing the storm he imagined himself drowning in. He loved Kang Sujin. He could never deny her anything, even if it led to his own torment.
But why, why out of everything she had to choose this.
Sujin got up, and didn’t even notice Seojun stuff his head in his pillow as she went to the bathroom.
“Hyung, are you okay?” One of his bandmates asked upon seeing Seojun’s dark circles and dead expression.
“Huh? I’m okey, dokey.” He responded dreamily. The band member backed away in concern.
Ever since they had gotten close, Seojun had stopped challenging her. True, they would still tease and play the push-pull game but it wasn’t like it had been before. Before they had felt like equals. Now it felt like Sujin had all the power and oddly enough, she didn’t like that. She worried it might get too boring for Han Seojun. She worried it wasn’t good for him to coddle her so much. He needed to have just as much of a say in things as she did.
She had meant the song to just stir some new challenge between them. He would respond with embarrassment and demand that she gets rid of the song. He would finally set a line for her; a restriction and she would comply to and balance would be restored. No longer would she be the one dictating everything.
But it had the opposite effect. Sujin hadn’t realized how it was torturing him till she saw him jump when they passed by a store that had been coincidentally playing the song.
“It’s following me.” Seojun had hissed. Sujin became worried she had gone too far. She hadn’t realized how much the incident had affected him.
Fortunately, Sujin knew what to do.
Come home early tonight. Sujin’s text came.
“Is everything okay?” He asked the second he entered. Sujin never asked him to be home early, knowing his busy schedule. He was lucky that his other band mate had gotten ill, and practice had been cancelled.
“Yeah, gimme a minute!” Sujin called from their bedroom.
Seojun threw his jacket on the sofa and unbuttoned his sleeves, getting ready to make dinner. But then he froze.
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo
He groaned, “Aaaaah, chagiiii! Geuman-hae already.” He turned and then froze again, dropping his phone on the floor.
In the door frame of their bedroom stood Kang Sujin wearing leopard print camisole and a blue bathrobe, striking an exaggerated dancing pose. The camisole reached just below her thighs. The rest of her long, long, long legs were available for him to gawk at.
Seojun gulped. Good God.
Yea, okey dokey yo
Sujin began dancing to the song just like he had, singing along as she moved through the hallway with the graceful movements of a more practiced dancer. It was funny but all too captivating at the same time.
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,
Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo
She came in and danced her way to the fridge, taking out a water bottle, and pouring it over her head.
Really? Yes! Okey dokey yo
Say la la la la la la la la la la la
She didn’t have the chance to continue as Seojun picked her up in his arms. She squealed in joy as he kissed her.
“Ah, Kang Sujin that’s the sexiest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He said, leaning her over as she laughed.
Seojun forgot all about the song as he bridal carried a squealing Sujin to their room. They both fell down on the bed, laughing. Sujin ran a hand through his hair.
“Hey, Sujinnie. Guess what underwear I’m wearing today.” Seojun grinned.
The misfortune in your life isn’t going away, and neither is your unrequited crush. You decide to make an attempt to get rid of both.
P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6
The hostile tension that filled the air was practically palpable, and you briefly wondered why Suho had chosen this exact moment to visit your house after not doing so for years. You mentally cursed your friend for always choosing the worst possible moments to show up.
Suho’s gaze was solemn (as usual), but you caught onto an underlying emotion that made something in your chest lurch. There was an unspecified problem gleaming in his brown orbs, something that you could tell had nothing to do with the dislike he felt for the boy standing next to you. It made you recall the time Suho had mentioned that he was no longer living with his father. His expression was eerily similar to the one he had back then.
“I’ll see you later.”
Seojun’s voice had you looking away from Suho’s intense stare. His own eyes held an annoyance you were used to seeing whenever your friend came around. Even so, he still managed to give you a smile right before he turned on his heel and walked away from you.
Unlike your intital thoughts, Suho didn’t bother to acknowledge the fact that Seojun had been at your house in the late evening. Instead, his hawk-like eyes lingered on your face. “What happened?”
Your eyes widened when Suho gently cupped your still-throbbing cheek. His soft touch made the raw skin jump with a dull ache, but you couldn’t focus on the pain. Not when he was holding your face like you were the most delicate thing in the world. It made you want to cry because despite how everyone else saw you, your friend knew better. He always had.
“My mom slapped me.” You told him without thinking.
Suho’s tender gaze turned murderous. For some reason, he thought back to the very first time you told him about your mother’s occasional abusive ways. Back then, you had cried your eyes out in disbelief and hurt—a major contrast to your behavior now. The person in front of him seemed completely detached from the ugly emotions that were once felt so profoundly.
“Are you okay?” Suho’s voice was gentle like his touch.
No. It hurts. In more ways than one.
“Yeah. It’s no big deal.”
You realized his thumb was brushing over your red cheek ever-so-slightly, and it had you swallowing thickly, not liking the unfamiliar feeling that came with his comforting actions. “You said you wanted to talk.” The reminder was faint even in your ears.
Suho dropped his hand from your face, suddenly remembering why he came to you without a second thought. His jaw worked as he tried to articulate the words that should’ve been easy to say.
“My dad asked your mom to marry him.”
The news was mildly surprising. In a way, you had seen this coming. Joohun was desperate to emulate a loving environment like that usually seen between a healthy family in order to win Suho back, and your own mother was desperate enough to do anything to please him.
There was a melancholy air about Suho after he shared the news, and you knew why. Joohun’s blatant attempt to bring in a motherly presence to Suho’s life was pathetic and insensitive. No one would ever be able to replace his mother, especially not the deranged woman who brought you into this world.
“—said yes.” You finished for him. The sigh you let out had your shoulders slumping.
The air was tense and awkward. Neither of you were sure how to deal with the bombshell that had been forced into your lives, or if you even wanted to deal with it.
“How did it go with Jugyeong?” You asked after a beat of silence. “Did you work things out with her?”
Suho’s frown deepened. “No.”
A frown of your own lined your lips. “Why not? You really like her, and you should let her know that.”
Until recently, Suho had felt the same way. He hadn’t wanted any misunderstandings with the girl despite the fact that it seemed like she harbored feelings for Han Seojun. Now, he wasn’t sure if confessing was something he wanted to do. Mostly because his feelings had become a jumbled mess, and he knew it was because of one sole reason.
“The quality has gotten shittier.”
Seongyong scowled at you. “I did the best I could with the deadline we had. You try making fakes with a thirty minute notice.”
You gave him a fleeting glare before going back to inspecting the ID with an unimpressed frown. “It’s passable, but next time do a better job.”
Lately, you’d been feeling more pressure from your father to keep up with the bills, and in turn you had taken on more clients which meant double the work load. As time went on, you found yourself growing sick of it all. Of the responsibilities that didn’t belong to you, of putting up with your unbearable business partner, of feeling emotions that you never wanted in the first place.
It was time for you to take back control of your life, and after doing one last job you would be done for good.
“Semi texted me the other day,” Seongyong said suddenly. “Did you tell her I was cheating on her while we were still together?”
“I did.” You said with a shrug. “I clearly told you to make sure that she minds her own business—I warned you.”
“Yah, you didn’t have to throw me under the bus.”
“What do you care?” You scoffed, throwing the piece of plastic toward him insouciantly. “You broke up.”
“We did, but—”
“Did you call me out here to talk about Semi?” You interrupted him, irritated. “Because if you did then I’m leaving.”
“No.” Seongyong said with that voice that made it seem like he was a child. In a sudden instant, his gaze became uncharacteristically grim. “I called you because we have a bit of a problem.”
“Where did you get your necklace?”
You looked up from your notebook to find Sujin standing at the edge of your desk. Her smile was off, but you didn’t notice it because you were too busy calculating how much money you would have left after paying this month’s rent. It wasn’t looking good.
“Oh.” You said, realizing you still hadn’t answered her. “It was a gift.”
The smile slowly slipped off Sujin’s face. The pretty necklace was the same one she had found on the ground on the school trip, the one Suho had dropped. She had known this then, but hearing you confirm her theory was upsetting.
You looked up, raising an eyebrow at Suho who now stood next to Sujin. “Hm?”
“Wait for me after school.”
With a nod, you turned your attention back to your notebook. Suho likely wanted to speak to you about your parents’ engagement. He hadn’t said it, but he needed some emotional support after hearing the news.
Because you went back to your calculations, you missed the dark look Sujin got on her face.
You walked with Suho in silence. Agreeing to spend time with him at his house was something you thought you’d never do again, yet here you were, on your way to the place that had once been like a second home to you. It didn’t take long for the familiar building to come into your sight. The feeling that came with seeing it took you by surprise. Mainly because it made you think of Seyeon, about all the times you would play hooky, of all the laughter, of the happy times.
“You are planning on going, right?”
Suho’s voice had you stopping in your tracks. You looked over at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What? Going where?”
“To the engagement party.” Suho clarified. “It’s this weekend.”
Your mother hadn’t mentioned it, which obviously meant that you weren’t invited—that she didn’t want you there. It was clear that she was still angry at you. Her petty behavior had you rolling your eyes. She always loved to play the victim when nine times out of ten, she was the perpetrator. The only one who still had a right to be angry was you and even you had (partially) let it go.
“No. I have better things to do.” You told him as you continued your trek toward his house.
Suho followed you with a frown. He understood not wanting anything to do with your mom after what she had done, but even he was going. You couldn’t very well leave him alone to fend for himself in an environment he wanted nothing to do with.
Just as you reached the front of the building, you were met by the last people either of you wanted to see. Out of pure habit, you clenched your jaw. Great.
“Y/N!” Joohun greeted you cheerfully. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too.” You lied with a tense smile.
“I hope you don’t mind that I bought you a dress to wear for the party.” Joohun’s smile is as friendly as ever, but you couldn’t return it with the same enthusiasm.
Of course you minded, but now was not the time to cause an argument despite your scornful wish to do so. “Not at all. Thank you, in advance.”
“I’ve told Suho you can bring friends. It is a celebration, after all.”
Your lips were stuck in that stiff smile. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
After you managed to get rid of the lovely couple, you sat next to Suho on his couch. He hadn’t said much and neither had you, but for two completely different reasons. You were plotting on helping your friend while he was cursing his father for ruining his mood.
“You should invite Jugyeong to the party.”
Suho gave you an incredulous look. You gave him a nonplussed one in return. “Avoiding your feelings won’t fix anything. Call her right now and invite her.”
“You’re one to talk.” Suho grumbled as he pulled out his phone to do as you said. “All you do is avoid your feelings.”
Your friend was right. Which is why you needed to take steps to end your crush as quickly as possible.
You felt completely out of place, and it had nothing to do with the ridiculously expensive dress that was currently draped over your frame. As expected, there was countless people at the party. You could see that no expense was spared—your mother’s doing, no doubt. Between the important executives, celebrities, and the press, you felt like you walked into some bizarre nightmare.
Luckily, the fact that Seojun agreed to accompany you eased some of the tension you felt.
He looked devastatingly handsome in the suit he was wearing. Dashing, even. Seojun had teased you about the starry look you had first given him, and for the first time in a long time, you found yourself unable to form a witty response or even a cohesive one. Damn him. He definitely wasn’t going to make this easy for you.
“This was a mistake.” You whispered with a grimace.
Seojun felt the same way, but he hadn’t thought about voicing his opinion after you asked him to join you to the last place you wanted to be at. He looked over at you as your eyes swept over the numerous people in the vicinity. All you needed to do was say the word and he would gladly leave with you to go wherever your heart desired. Just as he was about to let you know exactly that, he was interrupted by an irritated voice
“What are you doing here?”
Unsurprisingly, it was Suho who had stumbled upon you two. He and Jugyeong stood next to each other, looking like a couple out of a magazine. However, you had no time to appreciate their good looks because your friend was looking between you and Seojun with cold eyes and a deep scowl. Jugyeong, on the other hand, looked like a deer caught in headlights.
“I was invited.” Seojun scoffed. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“Lee Suho.” Jugyeong gripped his arm pleadingly.
You glanced at Seojun, not failing to notice the dejected look that crossed his face for a fleeting moment. It made your own heart clench with disappointment. When you invited Seojun, you had momentarily forgotten that his affection was reserved for your friend. You had invited him out of the need for a comforting presence, for someone who didn’t quite understand but was supportive anyway. Now you weren’t sure why you thought it was a good idea.
The unwanted feelings were quickly pushed down when you noticed that several people were starting to look your way. Ruining your mother’s engagement party had crossed your mind several times. It would be the perfect revenge. You had ultimately decided against it, and you weren’t about to let your two friends do it in your steed.
“You two need to stop.” You hissed. “If you want to fight then fine, but don’t do it here.”
The two boys only glared at each other, both of them decidedly choosing not to say anything as to not provoke you further. They were both aware that your warnings (threats) were not to be taken lightly.
Jugyeong was quick to drag Suho away. He went willingly, but not before throwing one last glare over his shoulder. You visibly relaxed, hoping the rest of the night would continue without any hiccups.
That small hope was in vain.
“There’s no way.”
“I’m serious.” You told him with a hint of a laugh. “I don’t know why. There was just something about him.”
To say that Seojun was shocked would be a gross understatement. He never imagined that Seyeon of all people was your first crush at the tender age of twelve.
“Did you ever tell him?”
“No, but I think he knew. That’s probably why he was always so nice to me.” You said with a fond smile.
Seojun looked at you, eyes shining. You two had left the party long ago, instead choosing to take a walk by a lonely park. The fairy lights that lit up the streets seemed to make you radiate. He doubted it had anything to do with the actual lighting, though. Ever since he first saw you in your pretty dress, he’d been blown away. Seojun had teased you about looking at him with that moony gaze in order to hide the utter bashfulness he felt at seeing you.
“I had fun tonight.” He breathed out, realizing he had been staring at you too long to be considered normal.
The doubt in your voice took Seojun by surprise. He nearly told you that any time spent with you was fun. That he could watch paint dry without complaining as long as you could join him. Instead of telling you all that, he simply nodded.
“That’s a relief.” You said with a relieved sigh. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t know if I could’ve walked in there by myself.”
Seojun was honored that you viewed him as someone who you could lean on without hesitation. It made him feel oddly special.
You were soon distracted by the buzzing of your phone. The easy-going smile you wore slipped off your face within a second. Seojun came to a halt when he realized he’d walked a foot ahead of you.
“Sorry,” You apologized as you lowered your phone from your face. “It’s about business. I can’t explain—”
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” Seojun was quick to cut you off, voice more earnest than ever. “Just promise you’ll come to me if you need any help.”
His heartfelt words had your heart fluttering and your stomach doing somersaults. Unintentional as it may have been, Seojun always knew how to tug at your heartstrings. It wasn’t fair. How could he be so understanding when he didn’t have to be?
“Are you really okay with that? With not knowing?”
“Whatever you’re doing is your business, not mine.” Seojun managed to swallow the nerves he felt. “I just… I just want you to be safe.”
That was it. You couldn’t do it anymore.
You were aware that you were getting caught up in the moment, that your feelings were clouding your rational thoughts. Yes, you were planning to get rid of your feelings, but confessing to Seojun had never been part of that plan. And yet, your irrational heart was the one taking control now.
It was now or never.
“I like you.”
Those three little words held a tremendous amount of weight, weight you had been vaguely aware of but never fully comprehended until you spoke them. Your confession left the atmosphere between you two feeling strange. It almost felt like you were in limbo.
Seojun was looking at you, eyes rounded with shock. He could literally feel his heart pound against the sensitive skin of his chest. He had always been one who knew what to say, but now he was at an utter loss for words.
Finally, he seemed to register your words for what they were.
The way he said your name gave you your answer. An answer you knew was coming, but left you feeling dejected regardless. Crying over a boy had never been your thing, so you couldn’t understand why you felt that familiar sting in the back of your eyes. Nor could you comprehend the tightening of your throat.
“I know.” You said, soldiering through the mortification you felt. “I know you like Jugyeong.”
The air was thick with an awkward tension you couldn’t stand. He hadn’t outright rejected you, but the sympathetic look he was giving you was enough of an answer. His guilt-ridden face was sufficient to have you regretting confessing to him in the first place. You were aware that you completely ruined what would’ve otherwise been a good night, and potentially the friendship you two had constructed over the past few weeks. But your feelings were out in the open, and it was too late to take them back.
“I just needed you to know.” Your voice was weak, and you hated it. “So I can get over you.”
Unconsciously, you pressed your lips together to try to ground yourself. It didn’t work. You wanted Seojun to say something, anything. He didn’t.
The chance to speak was taken from him when yet another message from your business partner came through at that moment. Your eyes skimmed over the text before you looked back at Seojun. “I have to go. I’ll see you later.”
He didn’t try to stop you.
You allowed yourself to tear up the slightest bit before meeting Seongyong at your usual spot. Honestly, you had planned to cut the sleazy boy off clean after the last time you met, but he had provided you with the escape you needed. And now he would also provide you with the distraction you were in desperate need of.
“What’s with the dress?”
God, even his words reminded you of him.
“Shut up. I’m not in the mood.”
Fortunately for you, Seongyong had learned to know when not to poke the bear. And so, you stood in the shady alley patiently. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary (save for the expensive dress you hadn’t changed out of). That was until the problem, or rather problems, Seongyong had mentioned made an appearance. It was an unfamiliar boy leading a group of two other strange boys. The nefarious feel that came with their sudden arrival had the hairs at the back of your neck standing up.
“I thought you said we were meeting up with some clients.” You hissed through gritted teeth.
“I did. I got a message…” Seongyong trailed off, realizing what you had deducted since you saw the unknown boys.
“I warned you.” The apparent leader said. “I told you what would happen if you kept stepping on my toes.”
In the next beat a fight broke out. You were mildly impressed that Seongyong seemed to be handling himself pretty well despite being up against three boys. For the first time ever, you regretted prohibiting Seongyong from letting his stupid friends tag along.
Knowing you would regret your decision to intervene, you stepped into the scuffle in an attempt to break up the brawl.
Suddenly, you felt a blinding pain on the crown of your head followed by the sound of a bottle breaking. Everything seemed to go in slow motion like a scene out of a movie. You felt yourself hit the ground with a deafening thud. There was a faint ringing in your ears that was soon paired with the blurring of your vision. The agonizing pain worsened as time ticked by, and you could feel the blood rapidly seep out of your skull with no signs of stopping.
You couldn’t even find your voice to yell out for help. It hardly mattered, though. No one would come, and you weren’t sure if your morally gray partner would even bother to call for help. The only thing you could be completely sure of was the erratic beat of your heart. It was pounding rapidly, and you briefly wondered if this was the part where your pulse would beat at an astoundingly fast rate before flatlining completely.
The last thing you remembered was hearing a distant scream before everything went black.
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
I will be thinner
Hwang In Yeop and BTS’ Storm are going to star in Bong Joon-Ho’s next movie by popo22
Yesterday morning the idol of the moment, Storm Lee, posted a photo with actor Hwang In Yeop on her personal twitter account (which she does not share with the rest of the bts members) with the description “psycho, soon” some hours later it was confirmed that the next project of the winner of the best director of this year's Oscars, Bong Joon-Ho, is the one that the rapper talks about in her tweet.
As we can see, in the hands of the actor is the script of the film mentioning it’s name. The director has revealed little about the plot of the film but still we will tell you all of it: the film will be about a group led by a man who takes in orphans and homeless people to give them a "second chance" by forcing them to be part of his mafia in exchange for his help. Min Rae (Storm), a twenty-year-old girl is was forced to accept his help after being orphaned at twelve, Rae begins to suffer from psychopathy and sadism the more time she spends doing dirty jobs for her boss.
We don’t know more about the plot, the rest of the cast has not been confirmed yet either although we do not doubt that it will be an incredible cast. According to Bang Hoon-Jo, the movie will be the darkest and most violent movie he has ever directed and we are definitely looking forward to seeing this movie. Who knows, ¡Storm might even get an Oscar!.
Tell us, will you see it?.
TAGS | BTS STORM ARABELLA LEE HWANG IN YEOP BANG HOON-JO PARASITE
Lee Hae-in, a fresh-blue glamour "True Beauty" that showed off in a red beret + One Piece fit
VINCENZO CASSANO NEW MODEL BY BYE BYE BALLOON!!!
A while back I realized the dramas I stick with tend to have Korean pop stars starring in one of the lead roles. And today I realized I can evenly divide these dramas into two categories
A lady from the olden days is tied to Earth after her first love betrayed her (or did he) and it spiraled events that killed people she loved, and she in turn caused the deaths of many. Now she has to man an afterlife business to atone for her sins. Recruits a supposedly ordinary dude to help her out. Turns out said first love has been by her side for a while too so complications arise (Hotel del Luna, Mystic Popup Bar)
Adaptations of webtoons by the same director, where everything mainly takes place in a high school (Extraordinary You, True Beauty)
I'd like to get into dramas outside of these categories though - and I did like the premises/aspects of Mr. Queen, River Where the Moon Rises, Sunbae Don't Put On That Lipstick, A Good Supper, Run On, Start Up, It's Okay Not to Be Okay, and Navillera. But my interest for them dwindled over time, for one reason or another, so I'll have to keep waiting :(
Maybe Lee Dohyun and IU or Rowoon and Kim Hyeyoon should reunite as leads in a drama...just a suggestion xD
coffee date with hwang in yeop 🖤