is five ever gonna tell his siblings they died again and he rewinded time or no
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the hargreeves children and their corresponding enneagram description
based off of their assigned numbers so it doesn’t necessarily match the character but it’s something i’ve been thinking about1ok here’s the thing:
if and i mean if we get a ‘five has to pretend to be a normal teenager’ scene it will be wrong and inaccurate by default unless all the teenagers figure who he is/what’s wrong with him in five minutes.
he’s gen x trying to fit in with zoomers and we are very suspicious people. not to mention kinda batshit enough to stumble across the right answer while coming up with crazy bullshit.
either some random teenager needs to walk up to him and b like ‘so time travel huh’ or we need a three minute montage of The Kids™ making tiktoks about him because he’s so weird.
and the tiktoks should be set to mcr’s ‘teenagers’
1as someone who had a severe speech impediment the fact that, as an adult, diego still sometimes has his stutter is so valid
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Fandom: The Umbrella Academy
Characters: Vanya & Five
Word Count: 2062
Warnings: drug use, mentions of alcohol abuse
“Ahem.”
Slam. “Ow.”
“What are you doing?” Vanya asked, peering around the cabinet door to where Five was cursing and rubbing his head.
“Nothing.”
Vanya raised her eyebrows. “Doesn’t look like nothing.”
“Yeah, well, it’s nothing, okay?” Five snapped, sticking his sore head back in the cabinet.
Well, that’s bullshit. “You sure?”
Five huffed. “Let me assure you, I am one hundred percent certain that I am doing absolutely nothing of interest to you right now.”
He briefly pulled his head out (carefully avoiding the top) to see Vanya giving him one of her soft smiles. “Rooting around in the back of a cabinet is pretty interesting to me.”
A long, low exhale. He was eyeing her carefully, the same way he did the first day he came home. Like he didn’t know who to trust. “Fine. Do you happen to know where dear old Dad kept the alcohol?”
The crease between Vanya’s eyes deepened. “We have a whole bar, Five.”
“Yes, yes, I know, but we’re… uh, out. Did the old man have any backup storage?”
“I think he got rid of it all when Klaus started drinking.” She put a gentle hand on Five’s shoulder, startling him. Instantly, the hand was back at her side. Right. The touch thing. “Are you okay?”
He sighed, running his small hand through his hair. “Yep. Fine. Great. Just… need to take the edge off.”
Everything went still.
“Five.”
“What,” he snapped. “Are you going to lecture me about the long-term effects of alcohol on my goddamn pre-teen body like everyone else? Because trust me, I’ve calculated exactly the blood alcohol content that –”
“No, I – no. I was just going to say…” She swallowed hard, then met his gaze, her kind eyes and his blazing ones. The corner of her lip tugged upward. “I’ve got something that might help.”
*
5are we sure five didn’t borrow allison’s powers because he definitely manifested being unadopted
8the hargreeves siblings, upon seeing five fall out of a time vortex and crash land in their interior courtyard: oh hey you’re back!
five: timeline’s fucked
the hargreeves: what?
five: *loading reginald’s rifle* timeline’s fucked
42since I’m surprised nobody’s done it yet (or they have and I’m late to the party), here’s my dumb hot take:
Diego and Klaus in Gryffindor, Ben and Luther in Hufflepuff, Five and Allison in Slytherin, Vanya in Ravenclaw
1So guess who’s now simping so much for Five that it’s debilitating?
me, it’s me. in case you were wondering.
god dammit I love that violent asshole
but look I drew art
2real poll that is gonna help me with a thing: like or reblog this post if you actually listened to The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
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