I havent taken a good look at the mirror for a while and wow
I’m so much fatter than I thought I’m going to cry for the next few days do not disturb I will be very busy
2television violence
if anything,
at least i’ll know the difference
between what’s real
and what’s not‘cause those toy guns
firing computer ammunition
are nothing to your
bruising hands and scarring wordsso much for television violence
so much for television violence0TW TW TW TW
i just had a really bad fucking relapse and i’m i’m so much pain and i just wanna die
2I haven’t really been feeling myself lately. Like I don’t really know how to explain it except that I feel off.
I’ve been feeling kind of sick for a while, as well as just generally more anxious (and the physical aspects of anxiety are really getting me). Plus I guess I’ve been kind of depressed without really realizing it.
I decided today that I wanted to talk to my dad about it. I’m not really sure why, but I just felt like maybe I needed to get it off my chest. Or maybe like I was a little worried that something was going to happen to me and so it would be best if someone knew how I was feeling.
Well, I wanted to tell him about all of the things I had been feeling lately, both mentally and physically, but that fell through. I don’t like talking to people about my problems, hence why I don’t see a counselor/therapist anymore. So when I finally got him to sit down and listen to me, basically all I could say was “I haven’t been feeling myself lately.” He basically just told me that I just need to do more in my day because it will make me feel better in both ways. I simply agreed and left.
I solemnly chuckled to myself, saying that’s why I never talk to people because I can’t say what I want to so their advice is never helpful. And suddenly I felt like crying for no reason. Even now, I can feel tears pricking at my eyes and I’m still not sure why.
0she’s posting concerning things before and just posted and deleted a picture that shows her injured wrists
2What makes a person irreplaceable is a certain uniqueness that is true to that definition. They are unique. Finding someone the same or similar would be a task.
I am not that person. My husband, my friends, family, they all have told me at one point how unique I am. But I am only unique to them. I know the truth about me.
I have nothing to offer this world. Purely average in all things. Possibly less than average even. If the world were to lose me, it would be an easy task. I am forgettable, something proven to me in the past.
I think my stay here will end soon. I would have lived competitively shorter than others, but that is nothing to cry over. Because they won’t remember what they have to cry for.
0Food log June, 3
Breakfast
Skipped
Lunch
Sweet potato, beans, kabocha, egg (168)
Dinner
Kabocha, tofu, potatoes (99)
Snack
Papaya and cheese (84)
Total 351 calories
Exercised 15 minutes + 5, skipping rope, I dont think I’ve worked with all my efforts, probably around 80 calories
Ginger tea
Water 15 cups
I dont really trust the amount I’ve eaten nor wasted, I would add like 100 calories and I’m giving up on trying to eat more protein than carbs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
0I made the mistake of going on the Twitter page of the guy who had raped me 5 years ago and the fucking guy had an anti rape tweet I’m so done lmfao
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