I never considered that I should worry about dogs biting me in the drive through but here we are
I never considered that I should worry about dogs biting me in the drive through but here we are
CAN PROSHIPPERS GTFO OF THE TMVTM TAGS OH MY GOD.
@askgabrielupdike CAUGHT YO ASS
Peas don’t deserve they hate they get and I will forever defend my favorite vegetable from slander
Me: *loves bright, cute things* *covers my bed in stuffed animals* *talks to my plants* *decorated with kawaii characters*
Also me: *sleeps next to a real animal skull* *does divination by throwing bones*
me: the more you ignore him for days for his bad behavior the more he will “act out” because he is insecure
my parents: no he’s just getting back at us for going on a trip! you’re making stuff up!!
if anyone has any tips on helping my dog feel comfortable despite my parent’s insistence that giving him the cold shoulder and being noticeably irritated with him will somehow help please send them my way
today, we cry to a satosugu playlist.
I could never say "stop" to a waiter putting parm on my pasta. I literally can never have enough parm.
you know generally i like to think that, if reincarnation and karma are real things that exist, then i must have been a pretty decent person in my past life to have the life i do now, but i do think sometimes that there must have been some very small wrong i commited in my past life that i'm being punished for in this one, being born both extremely un food-motivated and a catatonic hypoglycemic.
It’s just so weird to me that I am taking better care of myself than I ever have and yet, at the exact same time, I feel more suicidal than I have in a long time.
Catch me drinking 3 litres of water a day and waking up at 5am to exercise for the past 4 months but by 9am I’m cooking up new ways to off myself.
Dreaming up my will while I’m cooking tofu stir fry.
Singing along to pop music while contemplating pulling the steering wheel.
My muse comes home covered in bruises. Send me “It doesn’t look like nothing!” for my muse’s reaction.
Your muse comes home covered in bruises. Send me “It’s nothing.” for my muse’s reaction.
It doesn’t look like nothing!
it had been a rather long night. his form was littered in bruises and cuts and other injuries. dark marks amongst olive skin as he leaned against the door and opened it. his breath was heavy labored as he took a hand through his dark brunette locks, pulling it from his features. his eyes hadn’t changed back from that deep crimson shade with the glooming yellowish color to the outer iris just yet. his nails elongated and the back of his shirt... rather torn up.
rather he had been in Romania or any other place he rather not be was unknown as the sharp points of his fangs hung down against the cut up insides of his mouth. eyes easing up under slight loose strains at the human girl who had spoken. the normally warm look in his features he gave her was void, the only thing there now at the current moment was a cold gaze staring at her.
“ Sophie. ‘ his voice came out hoarse after he had heard her voice that cut through him like an annoying ringing, in a blink of an eye his arm was around her waist and he had her pressed into his form. he could smell her blood, hear her heart beat. and honestly his throat felt like sand paper. her warm form against his cold being felt.... oddly human. bending his large form against her small five foot four one, lifting her up just a little so he could place his face in the nap of her neck. his hot breath against her neck, pressing her now into the wall. his free larger hand weaving his fingers into her small one. “ My dear... “ he spoke again, against her. letting his breath and words trickle on her skin. “ Just. relax. “ he didn’t let her respond before sinking sharp fangs into her neck, releasing his venom into her veins as her pressed himself more into her. the sweet taste of crimson life blooming across his taste buds.
Hehe, another Stationery Story, this time featuring my homie Hole Punch! Still not my best work, but Imma still post it anyways!
The Monster of the Temple
A crowd of perhaps hundreds of toads looked onward at the enormous temple just ahead. They were all bustling and chatting with excitement. A lively group, these toads resided in the somewhat nearby oasis city, Shroom City, popular as the city that never sleeps. This holds some truth, the city is a big tourist attraction, with parties every night and residents that are constantly out and about. The temple that stands before them was known as the Temple of Shrooms. It was a historic site that the local government vowed to keep in its preserved and original condition. In other words, no toad was allowed to throw parties there and do any damage of the sorts. But they didn’t truly understand much about it, all they knew was that it was a historic and well preserved site from Ancient Times that nobody was allowed in. Except for archeological or educational purposes, which hardly any of the toads knew much about, it was probably safer to leave it to the experts.
This temple was momentous and stood gloriously, built entirely out of stone bricks with carved hieroglyphics and detailed statues. What made it even more breath-taking was the sun, shining directly above it and casting its glaring light down the staircase.
From what the toads heard, there was a mysterious person throwing a party at this very location. Here? What are the odds? Who could do this? They pondered these questions and more amongst themselves as they entered the temple, too excited to worry. This party host could be anyone, but their best guess is that they’re someone too shy to introduce themself and wanted to greet their fellow citizens with a bang. That was no problem for them, they all agreed they would make sure this new neighbor felt comfortable and at home.
Inside, the temple was a bit spooky with all that dusty dinginess lingering about. There were hieroglyphics engraved on every surface with towering toad statues, both coated in sand, dust, and debris from time. It felt kinda stuffy too, the air thick with dust, yet dry. But they couldn’t care less, they were a happy bunch that all crowded together, too excited to care or notice the origami monsters calculating their every move. They were cautious of course, making sure to not touch anything but the floor or they might get fingerprints on it.
After traversing through the winding, maze-like temple, they finally reached the top floor, presumably where the party was as there was no other sign. Upon entering the room, they noticed it was certainly large, perfect for all of them to groove together. The only party thing there was the disco floor, covering most of the center floor, and the unlit disco ball. This was no big deal, they brought their own party gear just in case. Thus, they spread out, setting up stereo speakers, extension cords, a DJ turntable and more.
Now the party could start! The toads began chatting amongst themselves at a louder volume while others danced on the floor, with the DJ, referred to as DJ Toad, playing random yet tunes he selected. The party was in full swing, everyone having a good time until something made them pause, the music playing with no one to dance to.
“Ugh, what is that RACKET?” a loud, metallic voice boomed. The toads whipped their heads around to see where that voice came from, the doors on the second floor, firmly locked to make it seem as though it were a wall. The voice hollered again, shaking the toads to the core, “Can’t you tell I’m trying to sleep? Whatever, lemme just see what’s going down...” Then those double doors shot open, a monster slowly sliding out.
Should they run? Should they stay? Their questions froze them in place as the monster stumbled down the stairs. It had to be at least 10 feet tall. The toads’ eyes followed the monster, it was a golden yellow color, with four soulless black eyes and gnashing, metal fangs.
“Look guys,” it let out a vicious yawn, revealing a mouthful of sharp, canine teeth, “I'm all for party, but I’m kinda bummed out today, so go be good little paper freaks and shut up, ‘k?” The toads looked at each other uncomfortably and then back at the monster, this monster was speaking some ancient dialect. Were they going to be eaten? Who knew that such a monster resided in this ancient temple, probably for hundreds of years? Did they cause the awakening of such a beast? But then who was the party host?
At last one small toad piped up, “Are-are you the one who invited us?” Some other toads rushed to shut him up. The monster paused and thought for a moment, probably trying to remember something or worse, contemplating if it should eat that poor toad.
“Oooh… yeah! THAT party.” it yawned again, “yeah, I forgot about that a while ago, guess I’m not really into it now, why?” The toads relaxed a bit. This monster wasn’t so scary after all. It was maybe even a bit stupid. They fell into a hushed whisper among themselves while the monster continued to stare down at them. They paused again and looked up at it, smiling slightly. Another toad spoke cautiously,
“Heya, uh, monster.”
“Yeah! Uh, buddy, we’d really like to stay and party, but we kinda gotta go for a bit, alright?” They then slowly backed out towards the exit, eyes still focused on the monster.
It suddenly snapped, “AY! You’re one of those flat paper freaks aren’t you?! Nobody’s gonna leave this joint unless I say so! I guess I’m gonna hafta warn you, huh?” The toads scrambled for the exits while the monster lunged at them at a shocking speed, darting over to each one who had failed to run fast enough. What did it do? It took a big bite out of each toad’s face, tearing the face clean off their head! One by one it went, punching out each and every one of the toads’ faces until they all laid blanky on the ground, faceless. Only one remained: the DJ, DJ Toad, who was perhaps the quickest, but the monster was still able to catch up with him.
“Hey DJ!” it snapped, “Before I punch your face, you better turn that music down, it’s an absolute drag!” DJ Toad quivered in place, staring at those razor sharp fangs before finally waddling over to the DJ turntable, where he cautiously slipped the record out and put it down. “Good, now get over here so that I can punch out that ugly face of yours”.
DJ Toad trembled back over, finally opening his dry mouth and cried, “Wait man, you-you can’t take my face!” It cocked its head at him, “Yeah, I-I can’t play you some, uh, tunes if I don’t got a face, y’know?”
“Huh, guess you’re right. Fine then, play me something groovy or I’m gonna take your face, dig?” DJ Toad nodded aggressively and rushed over to the turntable, where he scanned about looking for discs, yet he could only find a few. He must have dropped some on the way there. His heart dropped while the monster made its way back upstairs to return to its domain behind those double doors.
After the doors slammed shut, it cried, “Yeah, go play me something good, I’ll be taking a nap while you're at it. Don’t think of running away or anything because there are all these foldy guys and whatever. Later!” And with that DJ sat in shock and fear while running through the discs. Who could defeat such a monster? And when will they come?
non-rp blogs dni
some dramaTIc lIberTIes have been Taken for my IdenTIfIcaTIon card. IT wIll Take me hours To geT These exTensIons ouT.
a birthday pwesent from my roommate! @/youkomj on twitter for comms :)