I found The Boy so now I can actually watch it.
I found The Boy so now I can actually watch it.
HE'S FUCKING SMOKING AGAIN I HATE IT HERE I. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
Name: Evren Mufty
Birthday: October 8, 1992
Gender/Pronouns: Cis Male, He/Him
Length of time in Seattle: 29 Years
Faceclaim: Alperen Duymaz
tws: drug use, overdose
You know what they say about the difference between raising a son and a daughter? All you do with a daughter is just try to keep her from getting screwed. All you do with a son is try to keep him from screwing himself. When you’re a Mufty and the only boy there was always this high expectation for Evren. He was the youngest but when his Mother, Zehra became pregnant and found out she was indeed having a boy their family was finally complete. They had a real heir. See, the Mufty’s were immigrants who originated from Turkey . They wanted the best for themselves and their future offspring. Formal education will make you a living; self education will make you a fortune. And what better way to make their own young dreams come true then by living up to their potential. They built an empire of becoming one of the most prominent of luxury yacht dealers on the West Coast. Now, this didn’t come without some blood, sweat and tears but nothing in life comes easy and the struggles make the end result that more satisfying.
Growing up, Evren couldn’t not indulge with the activities that was bestowed upon him. He had the latest and greatest clothing. Whatever trends there were in he was the first one at his school that usually set the standard. The popularity followed him like a shadow. Though he embraced it willingly. Maybe a little too much. It was like he was a celebrity and that attention was ever so addicting. The Mufty’s knew that Evren was partaking in not so friendly activities: partying, returning home late, smelling like Marijuana, finding used condoms in his brand new Range Rover (even if he was only 16) which had become his sweet 16 birthday present. All of these signs were clear indicators of what the future might hold for the man and that was a slow fall from grace. But they kind of brushed it under the rug as regular teenage activities. To them -- their innocence wasn’t much better while growing up. Living in Çinçin, the slums were highly dangerous for it’s residents . Their typical day of sight seeing in their city was another cross being put up in memorial of another young life that was lost. Both of them grew up poor and was a mere miracle that they didn’t become another statistic or another body in body bag. So, of course they wanted their children to experience the royalties of their hard work. That was what life was about correct? To give your children what you never had and more.
The weight of his ego was sure to push the crust of the earth toward a breaking point. His own breaking point which he would soon stumble upon from his party lifestyle. At 18 - Evren was partying with a much older crowd and with the mind set that you could hang with the big dogs was a feeling that the male was all too familiar with. One night he had pushed himself to his maximum and did line after line of Cocaine. He was continuously an attention seeker and with that the weapon of his inflated ego came into play, but in reality when he thought he was hot shit he was just being damn right self destructive. That night was his fall from grace and if it wasn’t for the sharp and fully trained staff at Seattle Grace, it was most likely he would have died that night. He had gone into a full seizure and was literally foaming at the mouth. To this day, Evren doesn’t like to think of that event as it’s a hard pill to shallow. Understanding and coping with the fact that his parents had the possibility at their front door of potentially burying their son, that grief is still overwhelming to this day. Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. To him, he needed to alienate from a present notion that surrounded him. Evren was his own person and he wanted to live free from a set of standards he had to follow or that at least seemed to be surrounding him. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one. Which he would refuse to entertain after getting a second chance.
Fast forward to the present: He lives more of a basic lifestyle and honestly it has caused some tension in his families name. Evren no longer wants to be the heir of their business. Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction. The man has quite an addictive personality, that still holds true to this day. But he has learned with maturity that he shouldn’t indulge in things and situations that would fuel those urges. Without them, he has cut the chord to it before it can even start to form. To say that Mr. Mufty was unimpressed would be a total understatement. But, the man still loves his son as Evren does too of course. You don't choose your family. No matter what choices they might choose. Nowadays, his roots however are still partially lingering. As he still loves the water. In the end, the ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. This lifestyle choice is far more humbling and makes him continue to grow to the man he wants to maintain.
+ Innovative, Proactive, Appreciative - Defensive, Resentful, Withdrawn
EVREN IS PLAYED BY BETHANY
C!ranboo isn't dead btw he just smoked way too much weed
damn i guess u know the edible’s finally hitting when u watch the lion mv and start fuckin crying ghdlks;jfl;dasfjdkls;ajg;lkdsaf
Welcome to the Red Universe where the strings of fate have weaved dreams into reality…
SE Saeran x CMC Lumen (belonging to @luxielle)
Another story within the Red Universe about secret ending Saeran learning about boundaries within relationships while exploring his own emotions and new experiences.
Masterlist | Get Tagged
This is a side story to the main event
The dull sound of fingers clanking on a keyboard. A frustrated huff of air as the screen tints darker and Saeran is able to see the hollow appearance of his cheeks. Grunting clicking to a new page and the bright white that hides his features. Poking at the keys with more force, trying to drown out the rattle of thoughts crashing through his head. Freezing as the door slowly creaked open behind him. Hands posed, waiting for an explanation of the intrusion.
“We are- um, gonna watch a movie and Eunji and I wondered-“ Awkward, the sound of his brother shuffling between his feet grates at Saeran. Shoulders hunching as his teeth grit against the hope present in Saeyoung’s voice.
“Go away.” Snapping harshly, curling more tightly into himself as he hears Saeyoung breathing. Trepidation hanging in the air. Returning to his typing, dismissing his brother without regard.
“Okay.” Attempting to sound bright but Saeyoung is jilted. The door closed behind his departure without another word. Slouching down, muttering to himself, Saeran glares at his hands. Hating the interruption but frustrated at how hearing the pain in his brother’s tone makes him feel.
Fumbling across the desk, grabbing for his phone. Needing to get out of this house and knowing there is really only one place he wants to go. Pulling up her text messages he quickly jabs in a note to her.
Coming over Rubbing at his eyes. Glancing blearily at the clock to see it’s been longer than he thought since the last time Saeran had tried to sleep. The ding of his cell caught his attention.
Out with friends want me to text you after? Staring dumbly for a moment at Lumen’s reply. Unable to process the denial from his girlfriend.
You’re out? It pissed him off that he might sound needy, but she was always just there. It was almost insulting that she was doing something when he wanted her.
Yeah, a friend came into town and wanted to go drinking. I think I can only stand a place or two more and then I’ll need to go home.The fact he could almost hear her dry wit in her words did nothing to soothe his annoyance. Eyes narrowing, Saeran exits his texting app to instead shift over to Outstagram. Personally he found social media insipid and he couldn’t understand why people thought anyone else cared about their daily bullshit. It did certainly make things easier though when he wanted to see what was happening in someone's life.
He’d hacked into her account after their first date. Assuring himself it was safer for him to be aware of her life and her circle. Both to protect himself and his idiot brother. Until this moment he actually had only looked at it that night to see if she had seemed like an ordinary woman. Now scrolling through her notifications to see who was tagging her it was helpful for him to identify her current location.
It was his experience throughout his time of observing people that in every group he’s been assigned to infiltrate there was always at least one idiot who shared everything they did on the internet. Even the RFA had the actor. Once you find that individual, analyzing the rest of the group is usually fairly simple. One woman was taking pictures everywhere Lumen and her friends seemed to be going. While also tagging everyone in them and their location.
Looking at the time stamp for the posts it seemed like wherever they were now was a new location. Setting his phone down before running his hand back through his hair Saeran realized he wanted to go there. It annoyed him that Lumen was out. That these other people seemed to be more important to her than coming home to see him. It pissed him off even more that he felt this way. Pressing the screen to his phone awake, staring at the pictures her friend had posted. Saeran couldn’t help but ask himself if Lumen had ever smiled at him the way she was with these people. Seething because he doesn’t know and hating the fact realizing that made him want to break anything within his reach.
Throwing back his desk chair before locking his computer, his choice was made. Why should he sit around and feel sorry for himself? Lumen should be there, ready for him. Not with those people. Crossing to the door, Saeran grabs a hoodie and a face mask. Wrangling both on, lost in this hurricane of insecurities and fears that he will never admit to realizing are haunting him. The emotions just make his desperation to see Lumen sharper and his frustration deeper.
Moving steathly towards the garage, he’d take the one not insanely idiotic car his brother has. If he can keep silent he also should be able to bypass the living room without attracting more unwanted attention. In the dark, Saeran retrieves his phone from where he’d shoved it in his pocket. Using the light to find the sedan he usually took out when he had to leave. Stopping short when he reaches the side, staring in the window at the reflection looking back at him.
It’s like deja vu. The mask hiding most of his face and the black hoodie pulled around. It felt familiar and almost poetic at this moment. Tugging open the car as he pressed the button on his cell's screen to open the door to leave, Saeran wondered briefly if he was crossing a boundary. Sessions with his therapist flitted through his mind. The reminder of Lumen out there without him stifled it. This was important. He couldn’t trust those bullshit people she was with.
Parking down the street from the address he’d gotten offline. Approaching from the other side of the road, leaning into the doorway of a bank. Watching the place the posts had been taken in. Quickly realizing from the loud music leaking out of the door and the ridiculous looking crowd waiting to go inside that this was a club. Groaning lightly to himself, he hated these places. People alone were obnoxious idiots, drunk people pawing at one another were the worst.
Fist pounding back against the stone of the building as Saeran watched the line waiting to get inside and the bouncers. Hating the fact Lumen was here, not a single disgusting asshole in this place should touch her. Gaze flicking across the front of the building knowing he’s not going to be able to walk in the doors. Not the way he’s dressed. “Way too much fucking trouble.” Grumbling to himself as shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, Saeran attempts to seem nonchalant as he crosses the street and trudges down to the nearest alleyway.
Training a practiced indifference across his face. If you look like you belong somewhere, eyes tend to glance over you. The small side space is as dirty and smelly as he’d expected it to be. Coming to the side door that had to belong to the building he was trying to enter. Taking a moment to study it Saeran starts grumbling to himself again realizing there is no way for him to open it from the outside. “Next time I’m telling you to just get home like I said.”
Lucky for him there is a dumpster not that far from the door. Sighing, harnessed by everything transpiring for him this evening. Kicking the door roughly, loudly before jogging the few steps and ducking down behind the dumpster. Curling his head into his knees with his hood up his thin form disappears into the darkness. There is silence, Saeran counting his heartbeats. The only other sound's the faint pounding of the bass inside. Without warning the side door slams open and a gruff voice starts swearing into the empty space.
Chuckling darkly to himself as Saeran can hear the thud of the heavy boots as the idiot that had answered turns and slams back inside. Moving with surprising grace Saran is on his feet and hustling to the door catching it with his foot just before it closes. “Asshole.” Grinning, pleased with himself. Idiots were so predictable. Like hacking a basic line of code. He felt like he had an algorithm to use against most people. Except for Lumen, she is special.
Moving quickly through the back of the club, past the storage with the booze and who knows what else. From the sound levels it’s not difficult to find the dance floor. Jarred by the garish lights and sheer number of attendees. Shirking back at first, Saeran remains pressed against the wall as he heads for a less densely packed balcony that wraps around the top of the giant room.
Hands drifting back to his pockets feeling like the world is closing in around him. Temper flaring shoving into bodies around him a little more forcefully than necessary. A shiver running down his skin as a cold sweat drips down his spine. Why would Lumen be here this place is torture? Gripping the railing in front of him until his knuckles are white he glares at the large space below. Searching, desperation he won’t acknowledge in his gaze as he scans the sea of heads for the familiar platinum blonde one.
Near the bar Saeran finds her. Lumen is laughing with a woman he recognizes from the photos earlier. Collapsing against the railing in his hands, tension in his body strung tightly like a taunt bow string. Seeing her, he relaxes. Sighing Saeran simply observes. Watching closely studying Lumen’s expressions and her engagement and reactions to everyone around her. A sour feeling stirs deep in his guts. Was she smiling more than usual? Laughing more? Did she seem more carefree than Lumen did with him?
Thoughts drifting darker, Saeran starts to question if she could have gone home earlier but she'd just rather be here. Maybe he wasn’t interesting enough for her. Other than hacking what was he really good at? Was he useless? We’re the idiots down there with his girlfriend really more interesting than he was?
Glaring openly, why does it matter he’s an asshole anyway. Everyone knows it. Maybe Lumen is better off with them, but seeing their laughter. Other people are touching her. It’s like daggers in his heart, his guts, fury leaving an acidic taste in his mouth. Emotions bubbling in him, overwhelming like an avalanche he can’t out run. Breath sharp, as brutal as the dark thoughts dancing on the edges of his brain. Laser focused on a man, not with Lumen’s group moving closer. Everything else becomes fuzzy as he can see him fumbling with a bottle, the liquid looks almost blue in the garish lighting of this wretched place. Not possible, that had all been destroyed, but this man. The way he was watching Saeran’s girlfriend, twisting feelings colliding inside of him. Dragging along the railing Saeran’s eyes not leaving that bottle. It’s open and there is no mistaking the man, this asshole is pouring whatever it is into a drink that could belong to Lumen.
Panic, white and hot clears his mind enough to allow Saeran to move. Heavy boots crashing along the metal balcony. Annoyed voices from around him swearing as he storms past. Always mad at himself for how easy he gets winded, for how weak his body still is compared to his brothers. Currently he feels superhuman. On the ground floor clearing a path without hesitation. He can’t see the bar where she was yet and his terror carries him into this blank sea of faces and problems standing between him and the only person that seemed to be able to make him feel human.
Eyes wide, fear stricken as he throws himself between the group he vaguely recognizes as Lumen’s and the asshole that had spiked her drink. Heart pounding as loudly as the bass of the music rattling the building. Disgust, rage turning his vision black. Hands on his collar, Saeran is just shaking the other man and yelling something. Threats, putrid words of promise that he will hurt him more than anything else in his life ever has. The tampered drink in his hand, uncertain when he grabbed it but dropping the asshole's shirt to instead tightly grip both his cheeks in his hands using all his strength to squeeze his mouth open.
“Is this what you want?” The whole bar is so loud Saeran might be screaming or he might be whispering. “Do you want to know what it’s like to be drugged? To have all your choices taken from you? Do you? Why aren’t you answering shithead?” The fear in the asshole's eyes edges him on. Bringing the drink closer, feeling the smile spreading across his face. Loathing for this jerk, for his fate, for the fact he can’t seem to escape who it’s made him. If Saeran can be useful, he can stop this guy.
“Baby, Saeran-stop!” That voice, golden and sweet. The one sound that was entangled with every dream, wish and positive moment he has maybe ever felt. Slowly the darkness in the peripherals of his brain starts to fade. Tears he hadn’t even felt burn his gaze. The glass posed and ready to go down the shitheads throat. Gentle, Lumen’s hand touches his arm and it’s like the wall of contempt burying him crumbles. Able to breath, the revulsion that is burning in his throat soothed. Growling loudly, Saeran unceremoniously dumped the entire drink over the asshole. Shoving him instead with a small lunge of menace.
Turning to meet the rich concern in his girlfriend's eyes dismay seeping into his consciousness. Exposed in a way he hadn’t been around her before, his usual bravado muted. Caught, he wasn’t supposed to be here, tumultuous shifts in emotions rattle Saeran. Shoving his hands in his pockets ready to walk away, escape this mistake only instead of the sharp words he was used to accomplishing failure Lumen threw her arms around his neck.
“Are you alright? Did he put something in my drink baby? You were yelling but I didn’t catch everything.” Rigid for a moment in her arms feeling the hood fall from his head as Saeran wrangles up his hand to tug off his face mask. Incredulous at the fact the only thing he can discern in Lumen’s eyes is question.
“Yeah, I saw him from where I was. I wasn’t certain it was your drink but I didn’t want-“ Words stolen as Lumen crushes her mouth against his. Confusion, eyes darting around them for a moment before finally lifting his arms to grip his girlfriend and pull her closer. Incomprehensible to him but Saeran thinks she understood. Some cold part of his chest melts. No one, not even his therapist, had seen him so raw. Not since the hospital and screaming at his brother. Saeyoung had always just looked wounded and it made him feel like shit. Lumen had seen the ugliest part of him and he didn’t get it but she didn’t shrink from it.
“You saved me.” Remaining pressed close, Lumen studies his face.
“It wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t going to let him hurt you.” The wall that protects him, the one he’s so carefully built. It was still there but it felt thinner and more pliable. “And you wouldn’t have had this problem if you would have gone home when I told you to.” Voice gruff, Lumen just quirks her brow before grinning.
“Yeah, you know everything, Saeran sure.” The ease between them relaxed him even more and Saeran looped his arm around her waist. “We should tell one of the bouncers what happened. Do you want to stay and meet my friends?” The way Lumen was considering him, it was strange it didn’t make him angry or uncomfortable. It felt kinda nice.
“Sure, I guess.” Would he end up one of the stupid looking idiots in their group pictures? Would he hate it if he did?
“Good, maybe later we can talk about why you're here.” Winking, Lumen raises a brow as she tugs him forward. Surprised, Saeran didn’t hate the fact she was holding him accountable. If it meant she was holding him. Even damaged goods can have a use to someone and maybe someday he wouldn’t even need that wall anymore.
Divider and header by the only person that makes SE Saeran feel human @luxielle ♥️
Tag list: @goddess-shattering-star @zennysgirlfriend @gureishi @agent-bee @rubylookingaround @geniously-hacked-bebop @my-love-is-eternal @sunlightheidi @dis-gorl-does-stuff @blossom-daze @cheeppy
i took an edible and i still havent felt anything after two and a half hours. i have never been so frustated with being sober. literally ever.
it makes me so upset. i have no access to anything and its driving me up the wall. i am learning that i despise sobriety and this isn't a good thing.
tonight is a night for a leisurely amount of klonopin
I can't remember a thought I had three minutes ago help
oh god I can't breathe with the smell of marijuana in the air my eyes are watering lmao
My dad straight up telling me that when he was sick in high school and fucked up on medicine that he decided to ride the high and enjoy it - father you're supposed to encourage me not to do drugs
:( my brother casually doing marijuana when I tell him don't do it around my room because it will kill my crabs --
i burned myself to validate the angry and sad emotions I'm feeling. like at least when I'm feeling physical pain, it makes the emotions in my head feel like they have a purpose and like this is the only way to heal myself other than drug use/starving. i'm so fucked up.
i fucking need my pills rn
Dude I’m out of my mind rn and just called naruto , Nagito. Like Nagito????? It was in a discord call too…
a doodle from a thing im working on with a few friends
i'm never buying food again i'm spending it all on drugs i hate being sober