#twilight renascence Tumblr posts

Names I Have Called the Main Two Guys In Twilight

Jacob: Woof, Bark, “On All Levels Including Physical, I Am A Wolf… ARF”, Man Titties, Bouncy Titties, Boobs

Edward: Constipated Man, Currently Holding In A Shit, Whisper Boy, Eddie the Bitch Boy, Little Bitch

Thank you.

*27-car pile up on the highway, one vampire killed another on their trail, ballet studio burned down, all of Phoenix is now suspicious that something is going on, baseball game ruined*

All the cullens for some reason:

Okay so do y’all think that when Bella was sending Alice all those emails in New Moon, Alice had visions of them? Like could she read them?

Artists on Tumblr, do your thing!

• Rosalie: hey what time is it
• Emmett: I don't know pass me the recorder
• Emmett: *plays recorder loudly*
• Edward: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE RECORDER AT 2AM BELLA IS TRYING TO SLEEP
• Emmett: it's 2AM

Emmett: *opening his arms and smirking at Rosalie* it’s the free real estate

Rosalie: for the love of God please just ask for cuddles like a normal person

Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke was once going to direct th Maximum Ride movie.

Maximum Ride could’ve been just as ICONIC as Twilight.

Me age 13 after reading Twilight: Edward is my type ✨ cause he’s so sweet ✨  he always protects Bella  ✨ and does whatever she asks him  ✨ and he loves her as she is  ✨ and doesn’t want to change her  ✨

Me age 23 reading Midnight Sun: Jasper is my type cause he’s 6′3, lean but muscular, with a dark past, has fought in a war and has the scars to prove it, has also killed multiple people and could kill me without batting an eyelash but would also die for me! ✌🏻

I can’t believe my mom just had the nerve to tell me she didn’t want to watch twilight with me

guy im on a date with: what’s your biggest fantasy😏

me: ok so we remake twilight with presentday kristen stewart but this time it’s alice & leah fighting for bella and jasper isnt there cause he’s a racist and-

guy: i meant like sexual fantasy

me: yea im getting there, so anyway

twilight au where edward readily agrees to have sex with still human bella, his only stipulation being that she peg him with a strap

right where you left me - taylor swift

fear, anger, frustration, doubt

• Emmett: You know, Rosalie, I'm not a big fan of your last name, I think you should change it
• Rosalie: I don't like yours either, you should change it
• Emmett: Wait, to what?
• Rosalie: Hale
• Emmett:
• Emmett: That's MY line

After Twilight in the UK I would like to suggest: Twilight in the Netherlands

• They ride bikes everywhere so the cullens have these new super fancy bikes that go really fast so they can still be ~speed demons~ or whatever
• Bella’s bike is one of those that you need to duct tape back together after using it
• Instead of surfing at the beach the kids go fierljeppen (jumping over ditches w water in them using long sticks)
• For reference the world championships look like this

• Eddie cant come cause the farmers that have lived on the land for generations know about the cullens
• Instead of wolves, the farmers can turn into godwits (national bird of the Netherlands and a lot less suspicious than the national animal, a fucking lion)
• Alice would go HARD on Kingsday, whole house is decorated with orange flags and stuff
• I’m imagining this takes place in like the west of the country cause the cullens obviously live in one of the canal houses in Amsterdam and let me tell you Jasper would be teased MERCILESSLY for his ~southern drawl~
• Carlisle would be an Amsterdam native with a thicc accent who uses tons of slang
• There’s no mountains for Emmett to be from (there are some particularly steep bridges but that’s about it) BUT I think he should be from the north
• Rosalie is from one of the suburbs of Amsterdam, Edward’s from Rotterdam, that’s like 99% of the reason she hates him (Carlisle suggests they date and Rosalie is just like “you’re from here too how dare you betray me like that” and slaps him)
• Endless complaining about having to go all the way to Germany to hunt because the Netherlands has like no wildlife whatsoever

Y’all know EXACTLY who you are

Twilight from the POV of Charlie Swan: a short summary

hi! my name is jen (she/they) and i’m writing an article for a university assignment about fandoms reclaiming problematic series such as harry potter and twilight. if you have any time to spare, i would really appreciate you filling out this survey about this topic. if not, a reblog would massivley help. if you have any questions, my email is on the survey or feel welcome to message me on here.