Okay but how cool it would be if Reneesme turned out gay, and went for Leah instead? Like, Jacob? Sure, he’s my protector/uncle. But Leah is 💦daddy💦. Then we’d get to see emo jacob
3can y’all just imagine if in Breaking Dawn when Bella’s spewing her whole ‘I can’t tell you’ bullshit to Charlie in her own stupid cryptic way, he just stops her and goes ‘So is this much bigger than the vampire thing’ CAN Y’ALL IMAGINE HOW SHOOK THE ENTIRE CULLEN HOUSEHOLD WOULD BE???
471i feel like a baby on here seeing as everyone who’s blogging about the twilight renaissance is - more often than not - in their mid/late 20s+ while i’m only 18
i started on my hyper fixations young what can i say 😗✌️
22‘Twilight’
- bland, cliche, no oomph
‘I’m new in town, and it gets worse’
- imaginative, descriptive, hilarious
27I made the mistake of rereading Breaking Dawn and Wtf why didn’t I realize how much of a TERF Smeyer is??
7Twilight would have been better if it was enemies to lovers. Real enemies to lovers, not “I hated you the first day and the next day I realized I wanted to know everything about you because your brain was a mystery to me.”
Edward and Bella glaring at each other from across the parking lot. They both go to the library to check out the same book, but Bella had it first and Edward really considers just eating her, even though he could literally run to a bookstore and go get it, literally. They actually fight about the stupid onion cells. Bella accidentally says the wrong thing, even though she rights down the right thing and Edward causes her of doing it on purpose. Bella tells him he can do it all on his own then, if he’s so damn smart.
Bella drops a coke can by the Cullen’s table and it is an accident, but Edward pretends it’s a war game. And he does the same thing. And then she “accidentally” spills her water on his biology notebook, and he “accidentally” takes her jacket off the coat rack when he takes his own so she is freaking freezing, wtf. They are in the lamest prank war ever, but it’s not even pranks they’re just bad at being mean.
And then the van scene happens and Bella is freaking furious that he saved her; and now he won’t even tell her how he did it. What an asshole! (This version of Bella says asshole get over it)
And Charlie is like “the Cullens are nice, Bells, maybe chill.” And she will not chill! It is too cold in Forks to chill!
They get into this big blow up fight in the clearing that day. And she thinks Edward is going to kill her when she accuses him of being a vampire, but she has to know, damn it.
And then he just picks her up and runs her to the sun and he shows her that he’s a monster, and he’s indestructible, and “what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing. I just needed to know.” And suddenly all that hatred melts away because… it must be terrible to have to live keeping that kind of secret. (Obviously Bella is still stupid and lacks basic self preservation instincts, so she turns her back to him and fumbles down this stupid rock hill and Edward is just… stunned.)
And then the same old shit, but I’m telling you. This would have been better. Catherine Hardwick would have made this so good. We deserved this.
37‘No Charlie we can’t come to your fourth of july party. The fire works scare Nessie’s boyfriend, and then she gets pissed when he hides his head under the bed’
14I wonder how deeply every Cullen sigh before wishing emo-eddy happy birthday. Like it would be literally the only time of every year they pray to god that he doesn’t start his tirade on being a ‘soulless monster’ and stuff.
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