dandelions - c.sb
non idol!sb x gn!reader
wc: 4.6k (excluding the A/N) genre: fluff warnings: the intro is pretty long, just to build some background, but other than that, none! this is based on the song, happy birthday soobin <3
Throughout your whole life, fate was never something that you believed in.
The idea of someone coming into your life at the “right time” had been difficult for you to understand. The more that people had gone in and out of your life, the more you distanced yourself from this narrative. By the end of everything, there was little to no hope left inside you, and you thought it would never grow ever again.
Until you met him.
You and Soobin shared a class together during the summer. It was a tight class, so you were already feeling quite comfortable in the setting, knowing that you wouldn't have to make conversation with most of your peers. You decided to sit somewhere near the front, mostly to avoid anyone ever looking back at you, waiting for someone to grab a seat next to you. You noticed that everyone around here seemed to know each other, as they greeted one another with hugs and handshakes after taking their seats.
So everyone knew each other already. Great.
As time went on, hearing your peers interact with one another started to make you feel lonely. The more you sat alone and heard conversation amongst the other students, the more discouraged you became. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken this class, you thought to yourself. You couldn’t help but look around at your peers, a tight smile placed upon your lips as you watched them interact with one another. You felt the pit inside your stomach grow and began to feel the tears well up inside your eyes as your eyelashes fought them back with their blinks. You messed around with your pencil, pushing the lead out and pushing it back in. You glanced up at the clock, seeing that there were only five minutes before class had begun. A sigh escapes from your lungs and your head can’t help but sink itself on top of your desk, where your folded arms welcomed it in its place.
You just wanted to become friends with someone that you actually liked. Most of your friends either ghosted you, or you distanced yourself from them because you felt like you didn't belong. Part of the reason you even took this class was that you had nothing to do during the summer. You were going out of your comfort zone, socializing within this class anyway. You just wanted to make a friend, spend time with someone.
You just wanted someone to be there for you.
At this moment, you heard the empty seat next to you scoot back and forth, the person fixing their position.
Your eyes widen as they land on the person next to you. He positions his feet under the table as he brings himself closer to the desk, seeming to have had an awkward encounter with the rather small area, given his big figure. Your head hadn’t lifted itself from your arms on your desk, only titling to your right side, where you could catch a glimpse as to what he looked like. Some of your hair was covering your eyes, blocking most of the view. The only thing you could make out was his dark hair, which was carelessly off to the side, but not too messy. It’s as if he kept fixing it throughout the day, a habit you also shared. You couldn’t last one day without touching your hair or fixing it every minute.
Your gaze begins to move past his hair, as you continue to take in his other features. He had worn these slightly thick pair of glasses, the dark color complimenting his hair well. They shaped his face perfectly, something you were envious about considering your pair was bigger than you’d like them to be. His nose would scrunch as he looked at his phone, presumably to make sure he was in the right class. His lips would purse off to the side, displaying a rather deep dimple on his left cheek to make its appearance. You hated that part of you wanted to poke it and wanted to find out if there was another one shared on his other cheek, coming to the conclusion that there probably was. You quickly disregarded this thought.
You reach the end of your observation with your eyes fixing on his clothes. You could only look at his upper body, his legs hiding under the table, also with your head not being able to look that far down considering your placement. He’d worn a black button-up, with a fresh white t-shirt under it. A silver necklace was dangling from his neck as he shook his left leg, a movement you could feel even if you were hiding on top of your arms. His outfit was simple but clean. The black complimenting both his hair and glasses, the white shirt adding some color to his appearance. You observed people a lot, their clothes too, and you came to the conclusion that he had probably been wearing black jeans with a new pair of converse, because who wouldn’t choose to wear new shoes for a new school year.
With all this time spent observing this guy, you thought several minutes passed by. You even thought class started by now and you were about to be scolded for appearing to have fallen asleep, on your first day.
But it was only ten seconds.
Crazy what the mind can make you believe.
Seeming to have realized he’s actually seated next to someone, the boy looks at you, eyebrows raised in realization, his mouth open as some teeth appeared. “Oh–sorry, is this seat taken? I didn’t ask, I probably should’ve, I can go-”
You were hearing his voice for the first time. The slight deepness threw you off a little, but there was a sweet tone hidden under it. He flips his phone in his hand, waiting for an answer from you. You bring your head away from your arms on your desk, folding your hands together, looking towards his way. You shake your hand and give him a small smile. “No, don’t worry, I was actually hoping someone would take it.” You add, your voice a little unsteady.
This guy was attractive. Really attractive.
He nods in response, a relieved smile forming on his face, showcasing the dimple on his cheek once again.
“I’m Soobin.” He greets. He places his phone on his desk as his hand hesitantly makes its way towards you, ready for your hand to shake it. Within these seconds, you thought he was probably the most endearing guy you’ve met. You figured he was a nice guy just based on your observations, but this confirmed it even more. His leg still hadn’t stopped moving, but the dimpled grin never left his face.
“I’m Y/N.” You respond, your hand finally shaking his. You two give each other a firm handshake with a welcoming smile, yours finally appearing and his growing even bigger. As you shook his hand, you realize that he had soft palms, a little cold from the cool air in the room.
You just met, yet you wanted to hold his hand forever.
“Y/N. I like that.” Soobin comments, his face flushing a deep red after realizing how weird his comment could come across. Never had you thought your name was anything special, but hearing him say it out loud gave your stomach some sort of fluttery sensation you couldn’t explain. You flush in response, but your nod sends him an inaudible thank you.
Your gazes are still on each other as you enjoy this new interaction. At this point, Soobin has what is probably the biggest grin plastered on his face, his eyes almost disappearing within the smile, making you wonder if his cheeks would start to hurt any minute now.
You hear the bell ring, seeing your teacher begin to write on the whiteboard. Before you could bring your attention to the front, you couldn’t help but notice one thing.
You were still shaking hands.
Within the span of six months, you and Soobin grew closer than ever. You started to hang out in non-school settings, and any awkwardness you once felt was non-existent at this point. By this time, you two were practically conjoined by the hip, unable to ever be apart from each other.
You got to know him better as a person, being exposed to all of the great qualities he had. Soobin was kind to everyone, and he was always so gentle with the people he encountered. He was such a good listener, and you loved how easily he was able to retain information because what you had told him weeks ago, he’d be bringing it up now. He was also just fun to be around. Every time you spent time with him, all of your worries seemed to have disappeared. With his comforting presence, you felt that you were able to be your true self around him. You were able to confide to him about anything, not worrying about him judging you, an issue you’ve had with past relationships in your time. The way he cares for others, how pure his heart is, the amount of love he had to share with people. There was a lot to admire about him, and you found it difficult to even conclude what those things were. He was just that special to you.
Soobin was unlike anybody that you’ve ever known before. Even though you had always dreamed of being with the right person, no one came close to him.
It was no wonder you began to grow feelings for him.
You came to this conclusion when you noticed that the more you hung out with each other, the more butterflies that began to grow inside you. Anything he said to you made your heart race faster, ready to beat out of your chest. You even noticed that anytime people would come across more on the flirty side with him, the jealousy would hit you. It made you more upset knowing that Soobin seemed to be going along with it as if he was oblivious that he was even being flirted with. This only made you feel like you had no chance, and that he would never see you that way.
One day you had stumbled across a site that had caught your eye alongside the road.
A dandelion field.
You made your way onto the field, bringing the blanket that was inside your car with you. You settled it onto the ground, and seated yourself, taking in the view around you.
It was more of a grass field, just with a lot of flowers around it. The air was nice and cool, softly blowing the grass and flowers in different directions. The sun was near to being set, and the ambiance of the color and the warmth it provided made the scenery much more beautiful.
Dandelions were supposed to be lucky, right?
You never really believed in luck, or fate for that matter, but something had changed in you.
Soobin had changed you, for the better.
Being around him all this time, you were beginning to welcome hope back into your life. Soobin was like your hope that you had been missing in your life. With his optimism and his encouraging words, the version of you that rejected all good things that could happen to you was suddenly welcoming those things with open arms. The way he would look at you, you've never felt more alive. You felt free from bottling your emotions inside after all this time. Soobin’s whole presence was everything to you.
You lay the blanket on the ground, as your body takes its seat. You pick up a dandelion from the ground and twirl it around your both hands, staring at it longingly. You admire the white fluff placed on top of the soft stem that had been a little wet from the moisture of the ground. You looked at it for a good couple of minutes or so, almost like you were searching for an answer.
An answer, that is if your best friend could ever like you back.
There wasn’t much that you could express. All you knew was that you loved Soobin so dearly, and you just wanted him to know that. He made you happy.
You take in a deep breath, inhaling the crisp air around you. You stop twirling the flower and bring it closer to you. You close your eyes and hold the flower dear to you, afraid that it’ll fly away somehow. Your mind was clear, with only one thought you were ready to wish.
Won’t you let my darling know?
You exhale a long breath as you readily blow on the flower. You open your eyes, watching the flower’s bracts fly away into the air, the wind taking it in its direction. You bring your legs closer to your chest, admiring the sight even more as your head nods in satisfaction.
You came to this field every day. You’d only ever blow one flower each day, convincing yourself that if you’d blow more than one it’d ruin your chances somehow. Even though you felt some content coming to the field every day, your fate lying into the flower and watching it fly in the air, there was still some doubt in you.
Would all of this even work?
You’re choosing to rely on a dandelion field instead of bringing yourself to tell Soobin yourself. You guessed that was your way of avoiding rejection you could potentially be facing. You thought to yourself, could Soobin even sense that you liked him? Would all of your wishing come true, and he’d miraculously like you back?
That is what he proved exactly when he confessed the same feelings for you, asking you out just two weeks later.
It wasn’t extravagant, you two were just studying together at your school’s patio area. Every time you looked up at him, he was always looking right back at you. You had asked him if anything was wrong, and that’s when he told you directly.
I like you.
Your eyes widened at the revelation, but you couldn’t help but give him the biggest smile you could possess. You two just sat there, your gaze set towards each other. The way he was looking at you, you could see the whole universe in his eyes.
You saw forever in those eyes.
You had no idea if this was due to your wishful thinking, or the dandelions themselves, but it happened. He feels the same way about you and wants to be something more with you. Soobin can’t help but smile during this, displaying the eye smile that you always adored and loved. He made you feel safe, you felt like maybe there was something to look forward to in life, knowing you’ll be spending it with him.
You felt okay.
Three months later, and here you two are, ready to arrive at the next location for your date. You’d been on dozens of dates, but the feeling of excitement never left you. You enjoyed every minute with him, you enjoyed every activity you two did.
Although you must say, you’re not enjoying the blindfold on your eyes right now.
“Okay, we’re out of the car now! Can I take this blindfold off now?” You ask your boyfriend, as he guides you to walk in front of him with his hands on your shoulders.
“No, we’re not there yet. Five minutes, I promise.” He reminds you in a sing-song voice, emphasizing the last word in the process.
“That’s what you said five minutes ago Soobin,” You complain, a frustrated sigh leaving your lungs. You had no patience for this.
“This is the last five minutes, I mean it this time,” He confirms, rubbing your shoulders a little.
“You know, someone might think you’re kidnapping me right now. I could call the cops on you if I wanted to and you’d be arrested! You wouldn't handle jail.” You ridiculously point out. You’re speaking nonsense at this point, in desperation to arrive at this location faster.
Soobin brings himself close to your ear, letting out a small chuckle that sends you chills down your body. “If I was in jail you wouldn’t have anyone to kiss, would you now?” You’re thankful that your eyes are covered, or else he would’ve seen them widen in their sockets. He seems to know this, knowing that these things always fluster you. He gives you a kiss on your head and announces, “We’re here!”
Your hand starts to lift the blindfold off when Soobin’s hand interrupts you. “Wait, wait, wait, not yet!”
You let out another groan, stomping your foot several times. “Then why say we’re here if I can’t even take it off.”
Soobin lets out another chuckle as he walks you further. You weren’t really annoyed, nothing could ever bring yourself to get annoyed by Soobin. But to be fair, you’ve had this blindfold on for the last forty-five minutes, and you were worried your makeup would begin to smudge.
As if your thoughts completely took over you, you start taking in your surroundings as much as you could. Soobin began to walk you slower, meaning that you both were closer to your destination. The further you walked, you felt prickling against your exposed ankles, but not too sharp. In fact, it almost felt a bit ticklish for you. The wind blew calmly in the air, and you took this opportunity to get a good whiff of it. The air was crisp and relaxing, the more you breathed it in the less worrisome you felt the longer your boyfriend dragged you against your will.
But you knew that air too well, you knew this ground too well.
Could it be?
“Okay, I mean it this time, we’re here! You can take it off now,” Soobin releases his hands away from your shoulders, using them to give small claps.
Your hands slowly release the blindfold, the fabric finally being freed from your eyes. You had to blink a couple of times due to the fact that you hadn’t seen anything for so long. Once your vision is clear, you see what’s in front of you, and where your boyfriend has taken you two.
A dandelion field.
The same dandelion field you always went to.
Almost as a reflex, your hand makes its way to cover your mouth, as you look around the field in awe. You hadn’t been here since you and Soobin started dating, but nothing’s changed. The flowers are still where they are, the air is still clean. The fact that it’s near sunset, the same time you would always be here.
And this brings you to tears.
How did he know? You never told Soobin you have ever been here, this was something that you kept to yourself. You found it embarrassing if he ever found out just why you went there in the first place. A tear falls down your cheek, sending a cold sensation down your face. You can’t even wipe it away.
“So, do you like it? Not gonna lie, I almost forgot how to get- hey are you crying?” Soobin stops himself as he brings himself closer to you, seating you both on the blanket below you, which he must’ve prepared while you were looking off into the field.
You didn’t answer him, instead choosing to focus your gaze on the dandelions in front of you. Your eyebrows furrowed in thought as your head tilted slightly to the side. There were still tears in your eyes, but they couldn’t make their way down your face, almost like they’re confused themselves.
“Y/N, what’s wrong? Do you not like it? Oh God, you’re not allergic to these things, are you? I should know these things-”
“How did you know?” You barely let out a whisper, interrupting his panic session.
“How did I know what?” You turn to look at him. Soobin is mostly concerned, but just as confused. His eyes are looking past yours at lightning speed.
“How did you know about this place?” You ask again, this time more clearly. You watch his head shift back, stunned by your question. He looks around the field a couple of times, before meeting your eyes once again.
“I saw it when I was on my way over to your place last night, I took a little detour. I knew I wanted to take you here so I didn’t tell you about it,” He explains. Soobin scoots closer to you as he crosses his legs near his chest and brings his head down slightly. “Do you…not like it?”
Your eyes widen at his question, immediately wanting to reassure him otherwise. “No! It’s just,” You look at him again, the concern still written on his face. You sigh and begin to fidget with your fingers, trying to find the right words. “I’ve been here before.”
Soobin blinks a nod at your answer, uncrossing his legs and shifting in his position. “Oh, well, that’s good right?”
Your silence comes back again. All that was heard was the light wind blowing in the air, flowing through your hair. “It’s embarrassing,” you mumble out.
Soobin places his hand on your leg, using the other to shift your gaze towards him. You see his reassuring smile on his face, his eyes seriously looking into yours. “Baby, nothing you say to me is embarrassing. It’s just us here.”
You give a small nod, and his hand leaves your chin but the one on your leg still remains. You watch the dandelions move freely against the wind and bring yourself to speak.
“I used to come here before we dated,” You begin. You check in with him to see his reaction so far, only to see your boyfriend nodding to this information. You continue, “Nobody knew except me, I did this more for myself I guess. I…I liked you a lot, but I was too afraid of ever telling you. So, I came here to,” You pause, as you look up at the sky, seeing all the stars glimmer, realizing that the sun has already set by now.
Soobin hums, signaling you to continue. He would always do this whenever you spoke, it’s a habit of his. You always appreciated the sign that showed that he was truly listening to you.
Which helped you continue on.
“I came here to think about you, to think about what we could be, what I wanted us to be. I’d come here every day before sunset to just…wish upon these dandelions that one day you’d be mine and that we could become something more,” You turn back to see the tree you were leaning against, a small smile appearing on your lips, “This is even the same spot I would sit at too.”
You look towards your boyfriend, his eyes never have left yours. There’s a shy grin on his face, which soon forms into a soft laugh coming out from him. “Crazy.”
Your eyebrows furrow together, confused with his response. Was he calling you crazy? You were starting to regret this confession, wishing you had never hinted you were familiar with this location in the first place.
Soobin plays with the laces on your shoes, finally speaking up again. “Would you believe it if I said I used to come here too?”
Your furrowed eyebrows change their position to raise instead. A silent gasp escapes from your lips as your eyes blink continuously in shock. “What?”
Soobin fondly looks at the flowers in front of him, nodding in confirmation. “I would come here before sunrise, in this same spot actually.” Your head gawks forward after hearing this. He even sat at this same exact spot?
“But…I thought you said you saw this place before you came to my house last night?” You recall, trying to piece this puzzle together.
“Never said it was my first time.”
His eyes are still set on yours, his grin turning into a smirk as he tilts his head in response. You can’t help but let out a scoff out of astonishment.
“I used to do the same thing, wishing on the dandelions, I mean. I was going to tell you when we came here, but I wasn’t expecting this” He adds, this time a little more shyly. Your shoulders shrug in agreement, your mouth still opens as you process all of this.
“That’s– that’s crazy.” You conclude, referring to the same choice of words Soobin used earlier.
Just how did you both manage to come to the same location, the same spot, different times of the day, to do the same thing?
Maybe fate really did exist.
“I used to think to myself, how people would always say that love comes once in a lifetime,” Soobin thinks out loud, still looking towards the flowers on the floor. “Never used to believe it before. But when I met you, all of that changed. My perspective changed and I realized,” Soobin brings himself to look back to you, your gaze never have left him. He reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as he brings your hands closer to his.
“That I’m pretty sure that you are that love of mine.”
He was being dead serious, his eyes expressing his realization. You returned the same look.
Because he was that love of yours too.
“Y/N, when I think about my future all I can think about is you,” Soobin admits, grasping onto your hands in emphasis. “You’re my future, I see you being in my future. You’re my forever.”
You attempt to blink back your tears, but they’re already making their way down your cheeks. To his instinct, Soobin brings a finger to wipe it away, cupping the side of your cheek.
“Soobin, I feel the same way. So much so, that it’s crazy. You’re the best thing that’s happened in my life, and you’ve opened my eyes to things I couldn’t see before,” You reach for the hand that was cupping your face, choosing to hold his instead so you were holding both of his hands. “I see you being in my future too, forever.”
Soobin can’t help but smile at this, his eye smile melting your heart. The amount of love you had for this boy is insane, you couldn’t even express it.
But what matters is you both knew. You both felt the same way.
You want to spend forever with each other.
Soobin lets go of one of your hands, using the free one to reach for a dandelion. He rips it from the ground, placing it between you both. He smiles, and you knew just what he wanted to do.
“To forever,” He proposes, his eyes never leaving yours, showing so much admiration.
“To forever,” You repeat, moving some of his hair to the side so you could see his face better in the night.
As if on cue, you both blow on the flower at the same time, watching the particles fly in the wind, spreading into different directions. Your lips place on his, giving him a sweet peck you were waiting too long to do. He softly laughs in between the kiss and embraces you onto his side as you watched the flower fly into the wind.
Everything about this was special, what once was you wishing for each other on your own time, was now what became a night where you did this together.
As you watch the sky, your thoughts began to rush through your mind. You were lucky to have found Soobin when you did. He made you feel things you’d never felt, believe in things you’d never believed in before. No one would come close to him, there is no one else better. He was your person, and he’ll always be the one for you.
You couldn’t wait to see what the future had to hold for the both of you.
You couldn’t wait to spend forever with him.
taglist ❀ @faetarou @iyeonjuni @moondust-zia @gyuuss @yeoforce @envirae @iuwon @bluhr @odxrilove @feyregels @jjuniebees @luvshota @junityy @ifwtyun @wooyoung-a
A/N: as you probably put together, this is a special fic for soobin's birthday! this is based on the song called dandelions, which is a song that's very meaningful and personal to me. it probably sounds crazy, but this song has gotten me through a lot of tough times in my life, so it's my all time comfort song. it reminds me a lot of soobin, and i didn't realize it until i became a moa. i listened to it and realized that wow, it reminds me of soobin so much. all of the lyrics in this song remind me of him, and there are even some references of the lyrics in this fic! even if it might be cringe lolz. the way that this song comforts me, and what it means to me, is exactly how i feel about soobin. i've only been a moa for about 4 months, but i couldn't imagine what my life would be like if i hadn't noticed soobin. he means so much to me, and it doesn't take much for him to make me feel better. i love everything about him. i love how caring and attentive he is with others, i love his passion for his work and how hard he tries, i love him as a leader, i love how much he interacts with moas. i just love him. it's hard to put it in words, but i think you guys have seen me express it numerous times. that being said, this fic is pretty self-indulgent. dandelions being my comfort song, soobin being my comfort person, how this song reminds me of him. the pic i used is even from cat and dog era and i wasn't even intending on that but we all know how much i love cat and dog soob choco ball my beloved. i've been going through some terrible things in my personal life. soobin, txt as a whole have gotten me through it and give me the happiness that i desperately need. writing this was a healing moment for me. i hope you guys listen to this song and i hope it brings you some peace and comfort like it does for me. happy birthday soobin, my love <3 - val
pspsp: sorry for the slow posting life has been a bit crazy. i do plan on being more consistent, once i get college stuff out of the way. i'll try to post during this time though, so if you want to request anything here's an anonymous form you can fill out! and if you want to read the works i have so far, here is my masterlist!