#ugh idk Tumblr posts

  • #she speaks#my writing#ugh idk #'i think this line's mostly filler' #also feat. veronica being a dyspraxia ICON #it's one of like 3 things we have in common
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    If you are depressed af please get help. Contact a doctor you trust, or a help hotline or website, tell someone just get help please.

    I’m superbly depressed *chefs kiss* and in virtual college due to the pandemic

    so I’m going to give advice that my depressed ass knows works but atm refuse to follow because..No.

    If you have a support system let your trusted friends and family know

    Get off your fucking phone, self soothing is fine sometimes but numbing out the Depression numbness with the cashless casino that is your phone or laptop does not help

    Sit in the sun for a bit. If you’re like me just lay down face down in the sun for a few minutes because the effort to sit is just too much.

    This one is something I love sad or not: go to a park, if there’s water near by just listen to it splish splash for a bit. Watch the water ripple and morph in color and shape and wave.

    I just lost the motivation to write more of this so I'mma do some virtual hw that I have been putting off because doing anything feels empty but I want to fucking graduate already so fucking hell oh well knowwhatimean?

    Might write more later if I feel the flat sensation of depressed motivation again

    Good luck y'all

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  • i’m like this close to changing to jaylahlesbian

    #or back to kirkmcoy #ugh idk
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  • you don’t spend your life finding yourself…you spend it creating yourself

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  • .

    #lately i just havent been having the urge to write #and i think this is the problem #my brain can only focus on one thing at once #and its currently occupied with editing #also having so many multichapters to write probs isnt helping #and underneath it all theres the notes issue #in which ive been getting loads for the edits #what if i get barely any for writing #ugh idk #my notes problem isnt too bad at the mo #i guess i just gotta bite the bullet and do something #maybe answer one of the promptz #idk
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  • personnaly, i think the worst thing to ever happen to me is not shipping q/ui-gon and o/bi-wan, just cause theres a ton on s/tar w/ars snz fics out there, but its only for that pairing and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa idk im tired

    #listen #i will never ever accept m/aster-p/adawan ships #cause if its not a parental bond then its a sibling bond #like bro thats ur dad stop!!!!! #ugh idk#im tired
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  • 9/10/20 [12am]

    tw // suicidal thoughts

    hah… everyday seems less real than the last. I want to believe that’s a good thing. in some twisted way I missed the familiar feeling of wanting to die. what fun is it if you’re only half okay? not fully sad or exhausted, just meh. a world full of “yeah, I guess I’m okay”. scared of being happy and weirdly longing for the fuzziness of numbness, but not wanting to be completely gone. I guess this is why my brain loves to romanticize the past, cause at least my writing was worth reading back then, right? it gave me something even if everyday was a fight to be alive. at least back then I had more of a reason to be sad. at least back then I had something to keep me going, the promise of “better”. I came out of that time but now what? is this the “better” I fought so hard for?

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  • Treasure your parents, folks. I just lost my dad today.

    #havent come to terms with it yet #so idk how im typing #ugh idk #ive had enough trauma for a year thank you very much
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  • Honestly don’t see why I bother.

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  • i feel so unloved, so unimportant and just completely forgotten

    #ugh idk #i probably need to go to sleep :/ #sorry for whinning #personal
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  • talked to my mom about getting a diagnosis and i am very nervous

    #hhhhhh #my mental health is shit but whenever i talk about it i feel like im faking #im pretty sure im on the autistic spectrum but if im wrong id feel really stupid #ugh idk
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  • Girl, tell me we aren’t going down this road again, you absolute dolt.

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  • thinking about how if i follow through w doing college courses in hs the credits will only transfer to a college in my state, meaning I’ll have to live in this state while I’m in college, meaning I’ll have no reason not to see my parents often even though my mom is insufferable and I’d like to see her as infrequently as possible

    #negativity tw #i mean i wasn't really planning on moving to a whole ass new state #but like. it'd be nice to have the option to #instead of only having credits that transfer to one state #but at the same time i really want to get ahead w college stuff #ugh idk #but i have to decide within like. a week. #so :^) yay me
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  • is the gap between what you want to do and what you can technically execute enormous or… is that a me thing?

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  • Give me some advice here

    You like romance, you want to be a relationship someday

    But when that opportunity comes up to be in a relationship you’re like “ugh…..no”

    I’m having crisis cuz I dont know wha thg thos feeling is

    #anyone? #i need some helb #like#ugh idk#help post #i guess??? #im demi so is this normal??? #is this more of a aro thing??? #idk man
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  • Things eternally on my wishlist:

    • Seph going batshit fucking feral.
    #〈 wishes to ashes to naught / wishlist 〉 #idc for whatever reason #to dismantle shinra #to protect someone he loves #maaaaybeeee under jen's grasp #ugh idk#and idc #but i feel like sometimes u just gotta #give in to that feral side of your muse you know?
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  • Been doing a lot of thinking. Questioning myself. What do I want to do? Where do I want to be? How do I want the world to see me?

    I think I get too in my head about things. I worry at times about how others might see me as opposed to how I see myself. In some ways I feel trapped in a bubble. I definitely feel like I’m on the verge of an identity crisis and I want to reinvent myself.

    #late thoughts #late night thoughts #questions#questioning myself #in my head #thinking #thinking out loud #i feel trapped #confused #ugh my mind #ugh idk#diary#dear diary
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  • Lowkey want a tattoo but A) I have commitment issues and get bored with my style easily and B) I want to work in the finance/business industry and hold a high position and I’ve read that tattoos are frowned upon :( so idk what to do

    #like i see tattoos and think wow i want one #but i also think i would end up hating it eventually #ugh idk#kat chats
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