You know the way, I, can’t resist you, I, said to myself I’d try

Why do we waste time, hiding it inside?

I want you to be mine

I didn’t want to experience this; a cliché so destined to be.

I sit in silence letting my thoughts fill my brain. My curiosity getting the best of me and you getting none of me.

I trace my finger over the places on my body where I wish you’d kiss me.

The angst is hitting really hard tonight, I’m not sure why but this whole day the emotions have been hitting me so hard. I’m trying to be happy just being his friend, and usually I am, he’s sweet and funny and easy to talk to and I’m glad we’re friends. And I know he loves his girlfriend and I’m happy he’s happy and she seems really nice based on the two times I’ve met her.

And yet… it hurts so bad knowing he’ll never like me back. I know it will pass because I can think of of crushes in the past that hurt so bad and now those feels are gone and I know in a few months I’ll look back and laugh that I was so hung up on this guy. But right now, right in this very moment it hurts so bad. I just wish that one of these days I could experience mutual attraction. It just hurts so bad.

I’d like to think that the only thing keeping me from asking out my crush is the fact that he’s already in a relationship but at the same time I know who I am as a person and I’m a big old coward so I probably wouldn’t ask him out even if he was single.

Then again I have had urges to say something to him, that I obviously haven’t acted on since he has a girlfriend, but maybe that means I would be brave enough if only he were single. But then again I feel like I’ve also had the urge to say something to crushes in the past who have been single and I still chickened out so who knows. I’ll obviously never know what my actions in the alternate universe where he’s single would be.  

I’m turning 20 soon and I’m still stuck on my highschool teacher.

That’s just sad isn’t it?

How do you just shut off a thought, thoughts, many thoughts about someone you had, have, will continue to have a crush on?

He started this and you allowed yourself to become a part of it knowing full well there could never be a forever and now he’s gone. At least gone in the sense of what you were still hoping for, yet he cannot and will not be what you want him to be.

Just let it go.

I can’t.

Figure it out.. find something else to preoccupy your mind.

Don’t you think I’ve been trying to do that? Thoughts of him just won’t go away. Ughh

In 1 day there’s 24 hours, 1440 minutes.

It’s been 3 days, did I really not come into your mind at all?

Am I not even worth 60 seconds, not a hello? Nothing?

Am I that worthless?

Apparently so.

I’m so see through that I might as well not be alive.

It’s not like you’d notice.

‘I look through the fire, and meet his eyes. They are made of diamonds, and will not burn.’

'the wooden man,’ - Megan’s Poetry #1125

Ari and the Unspoken Confession

Now, there was absolutely no confidence within me to actually utter words so simple yet heavy such as “I like you”, or even a meagre “yes” to the question whether I do. Back then, when all was black and white and I was the only thing completely in the shadows, I could have never told her I liked her, let alone that I thought I loved her (which I didn’t, but considering to this day I struggle to understand if I do or not, I’ll excuse myself). Either way, it was a week from her birthday party, long after the moments we laughed breathlessly and with tears to had been forgotten. We were sitting side by side in, I believe, World Geograohy and the teacher was twenty minutes late. Being the distracted barely-teenagers we were, we started chatting rather than doing the work just assigned to us through Classroom. I think we were fanning over Moriarty or something of the sort— we loved villains. I spent a moment there, looking at her beautiful brown and rimmed with orange eyes as she spoke so actively with animated hand gestures to compensate for the English she still lacked. I probably stared because, and to my embarrassment, she waved her hand in front of my face, then snapped her fingers in front of my eyes silently and yet just about suddenly enough that I flinched, a confused “huh” slipping past my lips.

“Are you okay there? You look a little pale,” she said, half conjured by concern and half by the need to tease me like she always did. I sat up straight and brushed a hand through my recently cut short hair- an act of activism towards my discovered sexuality- then pressed my own palm to my forehead in concealed panic.

“Uh, yeah, I’m alright. I think I’m getting a cold or something of the sort,” I said, then glanced at the door that was still shut, no teachers in sight. “I’ll be right back.” Though I heard her confused “what” echo behind me, I still jumped from my chair, nearly tripping as it spun into the side of my knee, and rushed towards the bathroom far down the hall, the farthest one possible. Walking into the far too colourful for secondary school bathroom, I leaned my entire weight against the sink and looked at the dirty mirror. It still smelled like a vinegar cleaning concoction from when the janitor probably carelessly brushed every surface as quickly as possible earlier in the morning. Looking at myself in frustration, paying attention to my truly ghostly skin and the darker circles around my eyes, I took a breath in. A slow, heavy breath that burned my lungs the longer I refused to let it go.

“I like you.”

To be continued…

Nakakapagod kang mahalin 💔

Pero mahal na mahal parin kita 🥺

021921|1754

me: it’s obvious he really cares about me, he’s just super busy and it’s not like he could reach out for no reason, that would look sus

also me: he wants nothing to do with me and i annoy him every time i talk to him and he’s sick of me and-

As a wlw, there is nothing quite like the heartbreak of finding out that the girl you like is straight.

Originally posted by knife-wielding-yandere

how do you say “i really want you to blow my back out” in a professional and non-creepy way? asking for a friend

it’s exactly midnight. you disappeared a few minutes ago to get ready for bed while i lay here, trying to figure out if telling you all that i think is worth it. will i break my own heart? will it all just ache and i’ll destroy what i started like everything else? everything that is in my head wants to leave, to be written through this dirty screen so it reaches you and not just myself.

why could i never have felt this way for all others which i’ve hurt? why is emotion so god damn hard to comprehend that i only realise what it all meant when i’m on the verge of collapse?

i want to be able to hug you and kiss you. i want to be the first to tell you just how beautiful you are, what a pure soul you have and how much i don’t deserve it. i wish i knew if you wanted all of this too.

i spent five hours talking to you today. we listened to some of my old music and some of your favourite songs. i think i caught you staring at me, but it may have just been tricks my hazy with love mind plays on me. you looked as beautiful as you always do regardless of your complaints about your messy hair. i wanted to hug you, maybe give you a kiss.

When I was 14 and a crush to impress 🍅

Pink Sweater - to my crush.

We’re unknown

strangers laughing at each others stories.

I really like your name,

but people say it’s unusual.

You looked so cute

 in that pink sweater 

reminding of the cherry blossoms

I’ve never seen it but I saw it through you.

OH! how I miss that feeling..

You were standing at the corridors,

 staring at me unsurely,

 Guessing my name.

I hate it

 but I can’t get away from it.

                                                                                                   -TINU