#unsent texts Tumblr posts

Eres un caos en mi cabeza todas las noches cuando te pienso

I never thought I would say something like this but truth is, I hate you. I hate you breaking my heart after everything I did for you. Everything you said was a lie. I hate you so much. It hurts, after all this time it still hurts and even so, I still wish you the best because I think you deserve the fucking world and all the happiness that exists.

tw: rape you forced me into romantic and sexual situations i didn’t want to be in, you know that though.

glad the "i want to hold your hand but im too nervous" feeling was mutual lmao

"We'll talk about it later" you say, adding it at once. FUCK YOU.

tw: self harm, smoking i promised that i wouldn’t cvt again and i’m trying so hard. i deserve it though. i started smoking instead. the grey fills me up just as good as the red did. i’m sorry. i know i shouldn’t i know my lungs are already bad enough i know i know i know. i’m sorry that it would hurt you when you found out. i’m not sorry i’m doing it though.

im sick of this. sick of her. sick of staying quiet. do all of you find me stupid? im NOT letting this slide. she crossed too many lines. im about to give all of you hell :)

I miss you I hope you're doing well, do you think of me ? If you do? Do you wish that you didn't ?

How many more times do I need to compliment you and send you those "what if we were ___" memes before you realize I am trying to flirt with you lmao jdbskdgskdb

tw: self harm, suicide, medication Things are.... So hard without my meds. At this point who knows when I'll get back on them lmao. Centerstone won't give me my meds unless I see a therapist, but they also won't give me a new therapist after my other one left like a year ago? Idk what to do. I'm so close to sh again I think about it every day. I think about kms every day now too. Everything is too stressful. There's so much cleaning to do. There's so many animals to take care of (not that I would ever get rid of them, I love them all). 20 hours a week at work is hard enough and now I have to switch to full time to cover bills. Its just going to be me and my husband (and our animals) in the house now, its going to he so dark and quiet and I'm going to panic so much. Too much is changing too fast and I can't deal with it all at once.

tw: alcohol mention I wish I could stop drunk texting you

I wish to have you back in my life. It would bring some form of comfort and familiarity with us both. It’s not fair that you entered my life so long ago and now we are strangers.

I'm sorry I'm dragging you down with me. The whole world made everything feel like it's my fault. I know saying sorry a billion times doesn't do anything but it's compulsive. I know I'll be better from now on tho because I don't want to lose you. I'm terrified of the thought. Please don't leave me ;-;

may god bless you. and if you don‘t believe in god, may you still be blessed by whatever you believe in.

how many more people do have to hurt you for you to start loving yourself?

you know how you said you were afraid of losing me to A? cause i now have that fear with you and T.

Dear, H, Alyx, Mel, whomever reads this by any chance. I haven’t been to work in over a month. I’ve been on constant watch. If you want the info to log into the cam I can give it to you. With me being depressed over you again, almost being kidnapped and finally wanting to do the stupid and also no one wanting to lose me again so it’s best I’m under watch all day, I’d like you to see that this is all true. I want to see you. Meet you. Touch you, even if its just a hug or hand shake. I’m sorry for hurting you if I did. I can’t stop missing you. Just to have you reply to my messages I KNOW that you get would make me satisfied. I know you may need time. I wouldn’t know what to say to you at all other than asking how you’ve been. Please give it a chance. I promise, I pinky promise to respect any boundaries you’d want.

kinda wanted to hold ur hand while we walked around today ngl

oh god im so in love with you tonight can i wish you were mine please

I thought working with you would be amazing but I realised you’re just so... impersonal. I wanted to bond with you and have a laugh but I just felt like you wanted me to do my job and then fuck off with no thanks. I can’t bounce off of you and I’m disappointed it went this way. I really am. I did my fucking best and I’m proud of myself so why can’t you celebrate with me? Why am I just another person who’s worked for you? You take yourself too seriously and you’re inflexible as fuck. You’re great at your job but just learn to take your head out your ass and understand that there’s other PEOPLE there who are learning and want to have a good time. Jesus Christ.