I mean he could be more specific idk

Not sick enough

please someone help me?

My parents found out about my ed. They decided I should recover. I was like ok lol? They never asked me how I felt.

My mom wants to take me to a blood test to see if I’m deficient in anything. She’s been making me eat more so that when I go to the blood test they’ll be like you’re good but like wtf doesn’t that defeat the point?

Anyways I feel like I’m accidentally recovering and I hate it. I’m stuck at 52kg but suddenly gained 2kg. I never or barely eat all day but then I get home and havea shitton of dinner mostly because my parents force me to

But like I also choose to eat it? I’m never full but I’m never hungry. I feel like I could go days without eating but I ceave food.

I binged last weekend without purging and that just started this. I don’t feel the same anymore I’m never hungry but I want to eat

I wish I could go back to being afraid of food. I want to go back I hate this

I don’t understand why my parents are making me do this already. So you’re gonna make me recover before you even make me go to a doctor? What’s the point in that can you just let them help me

I want to feel valid and I want to be diagnosed only then will I ever recover.

Pls I don’t know I hate myself for eating anything I am not hungry I hate this feeling of wanting food please go back to being scared of bread I hate this I hate this

Wisp

to all the people who use the term "narcissistic abuse"...

can you give me at least one difference between "narcissistic abuse" and the existing forms of physical, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse?

i was traumatised by someone who had autism and ADHD. does that mean i suffered from "autistic abuse" and "ADHD abuse"?

i was traumatised by someone who had PPD, does that mean i suffered from "paranoid abuse"?

i was traumatised by someone who had MDD and GAD, does that mean i suffered from "depressive abuse" or "anxious abuse"?

:) think about it.

now fuck off and stop screaming at cluster bs.

genuinely why do people care about whether someone they don’t even know personally (an actor or singer or idol or content creator or youtuber) is a good or bad person like they’re all gonna die someday and so are you and also that’s parasocial

what’s the point of having morals and caring if someone’s “bad” when death will soon take us all?

emotional empathy sounds terrifying

I’m hanging out with my best friend for the first time since my birthday last year tomorrow and I’m honestly so freaking nervous.

We’re probably not going to be hanging out for that long, probably not even an hour, but god I’m so nervous that she’s going to realize that she doesn’t like being around me anymore. I’ve become essentially a whole different person since we last hung out. Ahhhhhh.

I ate 900 kcal yesterday and still lost weight . The work out worked 🤡 i find it funny how much my fucking mood depends on what the scale says 😂 also i fucking fixed my scale . Call me a mechanic bitch now 😗

I hate when ppl are like "youre fatphobic if you don't want to gain weight" like no bby, I have an eating disorder thats telling me that I'm ugly not matter how much I weight but that doesn't apply to you I promise

Vent tw

Angst under the cut, woo!

TL;DR I'm taking a break from Seam until I can stop being ~dramatic~

Hey guys, sorry to bring down the mood but I think I need to step back from Seam for now. I thought I could just switch to using they/them pronouns for them and everything would we normal otherwise, but being flooded with posts celebrating Seam being nonbinary has made me realize how uncomfortable I am and how guilty I feel for being uncomfortable. It's not that I don't approve of nonbinary characters, I'm just only attracted to men. So it feels like the community is telling me I shouldn't be with Seam or else I'm problematic. It's honestly gotten to a point that I can't be excited for chapter 2 because I'm too sick from anxiety.

So for the sake of my mental health, I've blocked all of Seam's tags for now and I'm going to focus on my other F/Os (and possibly bring in a new one). I might post about Seam again once things calm down, we'll see how I feel. I'm not giving them up as a romantic f/o.

Again, I'm really sorry about the drama. I feel horrible that I can't be positive about this. Nonbinary representation is always a good thing. I just never expected to feel so bitter over this.

JEEE-SUS.

//Sometimes tumblr likes to fuck with my mental health….

So I might have fucking covid but at least that means I get to stay home and play Deltarune chapter 2 ahaaa~ *hacking cough*

,

TW:misogyny ,trauma,PTSD,suicide ,dark topics,deaths,torture,Manipulation,Saviour complex.

So Emina was a demon that have lived in the weapon,spear for a long time and anyone who picked it she would just see them in the end lose or die or abandon the spear she was stuck in ,the reason why she was stuck in the spear for such a long time it was because that Emina had powers ,a rare one the first one but it was not a miracle news to everyone ,Emina stick to every noble that can help her or not despite her being tortured but does not care as long as she is still alive,She was desperate to live and just so to find happiness.One day so she was accused of killing someone important aka the crown princess and Emina kept denying it begging for her life ,being so desperate just so she can find happiness.But in the end she never got happiness and justice at all,everybody misunderstood her ,Emina was filled with rage and negative emotions also vengeful too she broke down crying and angrily ,She started to destroy everything until the other noble that had power and was not the first one but has manipulated people into thinking the noble was the first one and it was a miracle,Emina's power was sealed with the noble power since Emina was always starving on the streets and got less nutrients,Emina's powers weakened and She tried to fight back desperately but ended up getting tortured in the cell by the crown princess's family,Emina cried and so sad not getting her justice in the end ,then the second prince came in to the cell and has punished Emina by sealing her into the weapon spear Emina beg him not to seal her there for eternity and how use it to kill people,Emina beg and cried but the second prince just laughed instead not feeling sympathy at all since in the noble society,people steal and more stuff but they hide it and pretend to be a good idea even when they set people up.The second prince snuck into the cell to seal Emina into a weapon spear since he is in need of a weapon and need someone who has power since he wants to be powerful,but does not want to get in trouble for sealing a noble who got a power too aka the one who sealed Emina's power a bit so it can weakening more then the second prince bought Emina somewhere ,Emina got false hope she thought she was being saved when the prince said that he will save her from all the miserable and this cell too,Emina agreed and thought everything was gonna get better from here only to get her hope crashed when the second prince trapped her soul in the weapon spear,the spear weapon had a white and grey aura around the spear,the white aura represents Purity,nice The second prince was delighted that his plan worked and after all the book that told him worked.Emina wonder why she was in the spear weapon,She was forced to kill people.She roams around like a soul near the second prince being quiet never talking to him again since he gave her false hope and develop a hatred for him ,The second prince always referred Emina to her deadname and pronouns that she did not like,The second prince had died due to his foolish choices and how he is confident just because he had a weapon that contains a soul that is pure and had powers although it was not that powerful since some of its power were sealed.She was trapped again for two centuries waiting for someone that is not either sinister or evil,but then regarding how people act and more she did not really expected for nice people whenever its a female,its a rare situation in this type of situation she bet that the female is either strong,smart but sometimes put her up for decorations or something but as long as they don't plan on using her to kill many people or torture them.Emina was more happy because it was rare to see women since due to Society noble,women is seen as gentle elegant and misogyny basically stereotypes.

Emina just think of herself as a slave to the people who was given the spear and Emina tries to not breakdown whenever the people who uses her kills people reminding her with what happened with the second asshole prince.Emina is glad that the fact that she did not had to digest or anything just breath and sit on the space or run around in the spear where her soul was trapped in,One day a person founded her and decided to use Emina was a defensive weapon since the person was targeted by multiple people who wanted to killed them,The person took care of the sword by polishing it and putting it somewhere safe and nobody can touch it,Emina is glad that she was used as a defensive weapon but is worried the fact that she is gonna be used to kill many people even as a defensive weapon.After Emina's job was done,basically serving her life purpose by as a weapon.The person foolishly thought that if they broke the weapon,Emina's soul would be free but instead Emina died due to the spear broke.The person thought that they had save Emina from being trapped did not knew She would die from this.

A funfact about this story:Whenever someone uses the spear to kill people,it would give them a very painful death or painful wounds.As the aura got darker whenever it was used for killing,torture ,The noble who had manipulated people wanted to seem like a hero who was merciful but instead develop a saviour complex and wanted to be a saviour badly always saving people and wanting to be treated like God for saving people

Oh well,atleast she does not have to suffer anymore,too bad though it was her fault for doing such big sins in her past life -🌸

.

did not need this breakdown in this chilles tonight /ref

The thought of being referred to as ma'am the rest of my life really makes me wanna take myself out.