#vent tw Tumblr posts

you know you’re unstable when your mom takes some artichoke form your plate and you burst into tears

VENT ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

guys do you wanna hear the contents of bee’s latest Mental Breakdown

great bc this is the only place I can safely talk abt it!!

1: my two best friends fucked! one that I was in love with for 10 years! the other who knows my mind more intimately than anyone else alive!

you can maybe see my issue here. no explanation needed.

2: I have untreated adhd and it is killing my grades, of which are very important for my future, and it is angering my mother w anger issues and a need for perfection! who knows i have untreated adhd!

everyday I chant “im moving out soon” but good lordie golly THATS not gonna solve everything

thank you my loves i needed to vent so that I did not commit unforgivable acts irl

Everyone shhh Téir Abhalie Rui is on-

The only thing keeping me together rn-

:] (but like sarcastically)

My sister asking to see my self harm tracking app is making me go

Cause like I’m six weeks clean but hon I’m a ticking time bomb full of trauma and stress it ain’t gonna last

Nothing at all

💞rant time💞

One thing that just annoys me so so bad is when like a person is like: I wanna make a punk edit for [character]. AND ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS GIVE THEM BLACK HAIR AND M A Y B E A SINGLE EARRING.

And this is not me saying that punk people have more than black hair, it’s me saying not all punks have black hair. Sure black hair is cool!!! But it’s not a specifically punk thing,,, Like,,, one person I follow and go to tips for on punk style has light blue hair. Like he has a mix between fucking teal and BABY BLUE. That doesn’t make him any less punk,,, just

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

i trusted you. i was blinded by affection and honey sweet words and didn’t notice you were a monster until it was too late.

Just got a call that our partner is on his way home from work because he has some possible covid symptoms and needs to get tested.

So i informed our mother of this since, y'know, we all live in the same house and her response was just to ask if he has pto to cover it and follows it up by saying that she doubts it’s covid and isn’t worried

And like ??????

How the fuck did she arrive at that conclusion?? One of the concerning symptoms is that his sense of taste/smell is diminished ffs

So now on top of being worried about our partner, I’m pissed off at having to deal with this bullshit

Had to go to the anti-pan and trigger myself to block people, how y'all doing?

No offense but y'all need to treat your friends better. Your friend will be on the verge of a breakdown and you’ll just be like “oof!!! aw big yikes that’s a fucky wucky” and it just makes the person feel like nobody wants to listen to them.

I know not everyone is good at giving advice, or being verbally supportive, but that’s okay! There are other ways to help. Simply being there with them (ideally virtually, cause ya know, pandemic) or even saying “Wow, that must be a lot, I don’t know what to say but I really do value you and I wanna be there for you. How can I help you right now?”

No more “aw :(.” no more “yikes.” Do better.

Ok I am very mad.

last night I was waiting in line for a suicide prevention chat, and I waited basically 1 hour if not more and then out of fucking nowhere it just went “Sorry all the operators/ servers are full” and honestly, holy shit. Imagine if it was a person who was just on they’re way to k*ll the//ms//elves they would probably have been crushed I mean, if not even a SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE cares about them who will???

Has a dentist appointment in like 9 hrs

Brain: that means we barely have time to shower and take out the trash we should just stay up so we have time

my body feels like its literally trying to kill myself, it wont sleep, it burns when i eat and i can barely swallow, i think i have heartburn cause my chest hurts after i finish eating, my throat always hurts. I was literally sitting there by myself. i hadnt been doing anything, and i had a nosebleed for the first time in literal years. This was for sure lack of sleep, but i kept blinking out and going blind. The next thing is definitely anxiety, but I get pins and needles, I can still move but my entire body feels like it’s being pricked with little pins.

I work out for 15 minutes every day, twice a week i work out for an hour, i go outside every day, i drink water, i eat healthy-ish, i just dont know what else i can do. Im sleeping better now, too. i feel like my bodys saying if you wont do it i will bitch. im getting checked for cancer too btw. i dont think i have it but if i do it would make sense.

So… brain said Yearny Hours, but… partners are asleep.

So now, ‘tis Sad Yearny Hours.

PSA:

If you hate kids don’t live in a place where other kids live!! At least not directly above you!! Also kids crying and running is considered “apartment noise” NOT a city noise violation like idk having parties and blasting music do loud that no one can sleep.

You also do not get the right to harass your neigboor for coming down and saying something as nicely as possible.

Also if someone has a very pregnant girlfriend/wife when you move in…dont be shocked when their dog whines all day but mostly because they also left the window cracked and strangers where working on the house next door.. Don’t bleqve a nasty note on the door about how they aren’t respecting them.

This is obviously not about anyone here but I’m do fed up!! My kids cry? They pound on the wall or blast music to “drown out the crying.” I accidentally drop something they do the same!! They also scream at each other all the time and blast music that makes my ass shakw,and not in the fun way. I guess rant over

I really wish I could be more open to my therapist about my trauma, I’m very open about it here on so tumblr so it should theoretically be easy but when I want to actually talk to a professional about it instead of just writing texts online I just… freeze. I don’t even refer to my trauma as “trauma” when I talk too him, I think that some part of me is still afraid I’m making it all up, even though that’s no way I am, or maybe I’m just afraid I won’t be taken seriously.

I just want to speak up and idk maybe get a diagnosis, at first I didn’t thought I had any mental illnesses related to my trauma but then I found out that what I used to simply call “randomly crying when something reminds me of my trauma” might be a kind of emotional flashback and that I have some symtoms of c-ptsd (a kind of ptsd caused by severe and/or repeated trauma) so it wouldn’t hurt to get that checked and even if I don’t have it I still want to heal from all the mess that my childhood was.

i make a lot of posts like this, and I’m sure I’ll delete this eventually, like i do with em all, but god, i fucking hate it here

most of my nights start and end with me just… angry? i mean like why the fuck did i get this fate? what have i done to cause this? why can’t i do something about it? why do i have to go through at least three more years of this to even think about trying to leave? i just want to leave. i just want to get a job, and start saving up, and get a lawyer, and leave this house. assuming everything goes to plan, of course. which could easily be thrown off depending on how soon i get a job when i turn 14.

august, 2024. that’s when this all ends. theoretically.

1/19/21

My psychiatrist ( is that it? He’s the medicine guy): hey you should go off your medication for maybe a week after school breaks for xmas, you say it’s not working like it should, and you’re having tics and hallucinations, and even though we don’t know wether it’s the medication or not, we should really be sure.

Me: this seems like a rational next step, and I trust you, a medical professional who’s listened to me and helped me in the past.

My mom: actually you can’t do that, because it’ll be harder for you to manage your weight. Also no you can’t have a higher dose even though the dose you’re on right now doesn’t work and is lower than he normal starting dose. Love you ❤️

you keep hurting me and i don’t know what i’m doing wrong. i want to be good enough but i don’t know how. i want to be pretty enough but i’m not. just tell me if you don’t want me because i can’t keep doing this