Ha pasado meses desde la última vez que publiqué. Muchas cosas han cambiado en mi vida y espero continuar más activa que antes. Espero que todos se encuentren muy bien, tanto físicamente como psicológicamente, el encierro nos ha afectado a todo el mundo.
Here we go! Now, for clarification purpose: this is for fun and psychoeducation. The only part you should take seriously are the mental health facts, which will be clearly labeled. Everything else is silly stuff and ramblings. I would even say that most of the time, people won’t agree with my observations or thoughts on the shows or characters. My advice: scroll past if you don’t like it.
This post will be about the characters Inuyasha and Kagome. Remember, I am not doing this for people to self-diagnose or diagnose others. Not every anime creators and manga artist is thinking about mental health when they create characters and assigning them disorders. So, my observations are pretty surface level unless there is something obviously trying to be portrayed within the plot or character development. Without further ado, let’s dive in!
When I think of Inuyasha, first thought is his awesome fighting prowess and blunt personality. I appreciate his aggressiveness because it fits the circumstance and his personality pretty well. However, you can also see that he can be sensitive and a big softie when he cares about you. When I thought about HIS impulse control, my immediate thoughts go exactly to that: the aggression. He is ready to fight at the tip of a hat, some times requiring his friends to hold him back. In the beginning, it felt like he did this often; always on the defensive, zero perspective-taking skills and hypervigilance. Understandable considering he had just woken up from being stuck to a tree AND not realizing the world had changed since he last opened his eyes. Also, just the whole world they are in requires some level of hypervigilance just to stay alive. Demons running amok and all.
Now, psychoeducation time: Impulses are the sudden strong and unreflective urge or desire to act. Impulse-control issues fall into the category: Disruptive, Impulse-control and Conduct Disorders, harboring disorders such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, etc. They are determined by assessing age, developmental history, neurological alternatives and behavioral symptoms. Inuyasha does not fall under a specific one necessarily, but it does seem that he is pretty impulsive person and learns to think before acting in more situations as he gains friends along the series. To be fair, I am also not taking into account his childhood because there isn’t enough to compile evidence that he had low impulse control beyond the normal development of the brain.
I also think he struggles with verbal impulse control. Throughout the series, he says what is on his mind and hardly has a care for the harshness of his words. Albeit, most of them are actually helpful, encouraging or insightful statements said in a certain tone or in a way that make you have to think about the underlying meaning. This is not a bad thing, as I know several amazing people who have been called blunt, critical, harsh, etc. This comes from experience and learning to how respond to people as you develop, as well as environment and social interactions. Impulses are a really thing aspect of the human brain. It takes 20 seconds for an impulse to dissipate. Meaning, if you can hold out on that impulse for 20 seconds, after that it becomes easier not to act on it. I tell my clients to count to 20 in their head or out loud and then re-think about the impulse to see if they still want to do it. Or, to focus on something else entirely and most of the time, the impulse passed. It works great with kids and teens who are willing to try it.
Last thing: impulses can be focused on many different things, so differentiating normal impulse control to abnormal patterns of low impulse control that is impairing daily functioning requires thorough assessment by a professional.
Tune in to read about my thoughts on Inuyasha struggling with grief and what I think about Kagome in the next post!
also, i’m just gonna say it for the millionth time, but the bucky in wakanda storyline ain’t shit, ain’t ever been shit and ain’t ever gonna be shit.
I listen to the old songs on your playlist
And wonder why you left them behind
Were these just songs you liked
Or were they ones that spoke your mind?
Why didnt I listen to the lyrics
until you were long gone,
Because maybe if I had
You would be here singing along.
I wonder if you’d still like them,
Or if they were just a phase,
I wonder if the artist knows,
That I’ll never be the same
I listen to them on repeat,
I cried to them for days,
And now when I sing them,
I sing them to your grave.
We are in the gutter of the universe,
Rock bottom of the galaxy
But look up at the stars,
Look how they shine,
The world is spinning out of control
but somewhere out there
we’ll find our home.
Don't you know darling,
Infinity is ours for the taking,
i am a bee
working until my bones
protrude through my flesh
it is the most catholic of desires
to be the most divine.
so i work harder
i work faster
always making more
building,
forming,
creating,
morphing my value into a product.
making the perfect honeycomb
always perfecting
adding on to,
until
it becomes too heavy
much too heavy
too much
and it all
comes crashing down
“if this body were not your own,
would you find it beautiful?”
he asked, studying my face inquisitively,
i look at the picture,
imagining i did not know her.
this woman i could have seen anywhere,
a library, a coffee shop, the halls of one of my schools,
i close my eyes and open them,
she's not jaw dropping gorgeous,
not someone id stop to look at,
but there is something different… what is it?
her smile.
there is something sharp about that smile,
like she's ready for a debate,
like she knows she's already won.
unafraid. daring.
in that moment i want to count her freckles,
constellations across her face,
this woman, would be a force to be reckoned with if only she knew
i want to tell her she is regal,
she is exquisite, she is powerful, she is celestial, she is emotive
but i simply say
“yes, if this body weren't not my own,
i guess i would find it a certain kind of beautiful.”
what does forgiveness taste like?
maybe i’ll never know,
is it bitter,is it sweet?
does it taste like holy wine
or the blood on my hands?
will there ever come a day
when your name doesn't follow a flinch?
where your memory does not lead
to gasps of shallow breath
and burning tears?
will there be a time when my hands
don't wrap around my chest
scrambling to hold the shattered remains
of a scared 3 year old girl
what does forgiveness taste like?
do i even want to know?
there is this poison in my veins
but is it really poison
if it takes away the pain?
you say, perhaps i should refrain
from thinking this way
but you asked what was on my mind
and i don't know how else to explain
other than to keep quiet.
you wear the smell of death and rage like perfume,
he smells like an abandoned library,
a grand piano in the corner,
stunning,
you long to run your fingers over the keys,
but would the blood on your hands taint its beauty?
there is sort of a soft cider in his eyes,
the kind you sip by a fire,
listen to it crackle,
it brings soft memories,
yours rumble with a warning.
the sky is darkening,
there’s a storm brewing somewhere
off the corners of the map of the world,
if he is a star, then you never knew they had flavor,
they taste like ambition,
and ancient wisdom,
but what does that make you?
some sort of abyss?
and what if he finds your darkness beautiful?
what then?
There is something feral inside of me,
I say this as a warning,
Not a plea.
I want love to come easy,
Come soft,
Like sweet honey
Or molasses,
But it always comes with warning sirens
And cannon fire.
There was something soft in me once.
They killed it and it is rotting.
My head
buried into your shoulders,
Your skin
melting into my own,
Your sweat
seeps into my pores,
providing the tears
that fall back into your skin,
Save me,
Save me,
Save me
My moans
start to sounds like mourning
I'm begging
As if there was anything left in me
to save
We are old souls,
trapped in young bodies.
Literature lovers and poets,
our heads filled with the echoes of old typewriters.
Messy haired women who want to change the world
but are stuck in times gone by.
Nostalgia, mythology, old train tracks.
We are the keepers of the past.
Lovers of ancient tradition and long lost words.
Our houses covered with Shiny rocks,
we couldn't just leave by the shore,
and worn out books,
that smell like revolution.
Wondering if we too will be scrawled somewhere
in the margins of history.
Knowing that in some way we must.
If a liar looks away
And I look straight into your eyes
Can you look through my poker face
And tell a truth from a lie
Because at this point,
Im looking in the mirror
And I don't even know
If I can call my bluff
Day 41 of 🦋 100 days of tiny blessings 🦋
🌈 Today I was blessed because...
I barely experienced any anxiety or intrusive thoughts. My mind was mostly calm and relaxed. I managed to get some tasks done, talked to some friends and felt good about myself. I also had a therapy session which was pretty insightful and I'm glad I'm finally taking steps to improve my mental health.
🐸 I feel very proud of...
Getting my life together bit after bit. Also helping people however I can.
🌱 I learned that...
Healing is a long journey and takes time and effort.
💌 I am...
A worthy person.
My personal experience around this topic hasn't been too extensive, luckily. I've faced some stress and anxiety problems throughout my, and especially last, years of high school, but I'm not sure if they should be treated as mental health disorders. Anyways, I will share a bit of my story, even though it's not really important. I remember the first time I felt real anxiety was three years ago. I had caught lice and was so worried people would talk about me and stop being friends with me because of it, that I started crying desperately, to a point my chest started hurting. The next time I felt something out of my usual feelings was two years later (or at least that's what I can remember). This time I dealt with stress issues, mainly because of school. And well, that's the two things I would stand out of these past years. If talking about the present, I will say that I'm confused. There have been some "big" changes in my life recently and it hasn't been easy to deal with them. Sometimes I find myself happy, motivated, and wanting to "be in the moment". Others, I get lost within myself. I arrive home, and I don't want to do anything. I start thinking, better said, overthinking, and I saturate. Then, I just feel like crying it all out. For those moments, I have some activities that help me. One of them is going for a walk in nature, listening to music, and observing the landscape. Another way I deal with it is by writing in a journal. This system helps me clear my thoughts and reflect on them. The last and more common thing is hanging out/talking to friends or family. Maintaining a conversation with them, even about random stuff, reminds me that I can do better. I'm aware that teenage years are a complicated stage, but life in general is complicated, isn't it? So, yes, these feelings might come back at any time. In that case, I'll remember all the good things I'd miss if I let them control me, and I will carry on, just like we are used to doing.
Father Luke is a very modest man who rarely uses his powers unless he really has to, especially when it comes to helping people in dire situations that can be ended more quickly if powers were come to used, so teleportation is rarely used for short distance ( home to a mall, home to a friend’s house, etcetera ), while he does teleport in longer distance ( one city to another, one country to another, etcetera ) because he doesn’t like to ask the Greed itself for money, so...
Though Father Luke can’t ride on anything due to having one leg entirely numb, he doesn’t take buses because he’s usually not comfortable having to be in a group of strangers when he has always been subjected to endless concerned staring and judgemental whispers, and he doesn’t take taxi as well because he’s also not comfortable to have a conversation with someone while being in a small space ( inside the car ) and even being in a restricted position ( having the seatbelt on and doors locked )--- bad experiences I think, so this man really goes around so much with a single functional leg, eye and ear, and honestly, what a champion he is...
I have been at my absolute worst.
Mentally I’m not okay. I’m struggling with my depression and I feel so sad and crying all the time I know it must suck for my s.o. It’s days of not wanting to get out of bed or changing clothes seem like such a hard task. I’m trying so hard to be better and I wonder if I make any progress at all. I really am trying though sometimes it just feels so useless and I feel so awful and gross with myself. They say to romanticize your life and I would love to but even staring at the mirror I feel absolutely useless. I know my thoughts are wrong or if I said them out loud they would be but I think I’m thinking the truth no matter how hurtful that it.
I am scared to write this. I am scared of the judgements I will impose on myself once it is written, and I have re-read it. And that is exactly why I must write this. I have spent too many years afraid of myself, afraid of my own judgements, afraid to just be. I have spent so long thinking outside of myself, and outside of this moment, that I am only now realising the profoundness of this very present. I am sat on my bed, with my fairy lights casting a soft glow over the room, and my scented candles flickering and crackling in the corner. I have low-fi beats and Joji playing. And I feel at peace. I feel complete, I am reflecting on myself at current. I am struggling with my self confidence and joining new friend groups at college. It feels as though I find people but I am too anxious to communicate and put myself out there. I believe I am afraid of judgment, of being rejected. I think this is only natural when I reflect on my childhood, but I do not wish for it to continue. I want to gain the confidence to be, and to not fear for what might happen. I want the confidence to approach a stranger, and tell them they are beautiful. I long for a best friend, a partner – people to share this beautiful life with, and I will never get this if I can’t approach people. I have nothing to lose if I do get knocked back, but I am still fearful. I believe it will be a journey, whereby I continue in this way until I have come to peace with myself. In my case, I believe that I must be comfortable with myself before I can make new friends. But how long will this take me? I know the journey of self acceptance and of self love cannot be rushed, but I would so love to have company now. However, I believe I do need to give myself credit where it’s due, and recognise I have come far in this journey. Further than I know. Even being able to write this, and have this insight into my own emotions, is a step further than I was. Being so present and profound has also been difficult. This time a year ago I was caught up in the midst of depression and anxiety – my mind was a concoction of reminiscence and fear of the future. I could not ground myself to the presence for fear of dissociation. The fact that I am now able to live in this moment, and have an introspective dialogue with myself in this way, is progress. In conclusion, I believe I need time. Time, but also recognition and self praise.
