holy shit i am not having a good time !!!
holy shit i am not having a good time !!!
THANK YOU FOR JOINING THIS FOOLISH BOY ON HIS ARCANA / FICTIF JOURNEY
a year ago i had never been involved in any fandom communities so this ongoing support has been such a gift, especially during quarantine. i’m so glad you enjoy what i make and repost!
man glee is not a show that ages well
been feeling kinda blue today...
I had a grueling day at work today, and I am so horribly exhausted
doesn’t really apply to just this blog, but do y’all ever hesitate when it comes to shipping? most of the time i really do want to ship, but i always take care to leave things up... a little loose and open for interpretation and not downright shippy, because i'm always a little hesitant about it / wary i might be the only one feeling some type of way, you know? and i know people generally say they’re open to shipping, but also........ *squints* i don’t do well with just implied things, i need it to be explicitly outlined because i’m an anxious little gremlin.
maine, i will soon be in you
sorry more venting in the tags, dont read it might be guilt trippy
I just remembered this really random event in my life where I was walking home with my friend in a crowded, confined alleyway until I felt my backpack rustle. I turned around and saw that there was in fact a man holding my wallet in his hand and the first thing that I did was ASK him if that wallet was mine. Now get this, I knew it was mine, I knew the color of my wallet, my back pocket was widely opened but I was so fucking nervous that my introverted instincts told me to ask the thief if that wallet was mine. I shit you not, he just stared at me motherfuckerly and RETURNED my wallet then proceeded to walk away as if nothing happened. WHAT'S FUNNIER WAS THAT I WAS SO SCARED AND NERVOUS that I checked my bag then turned to him and asked him yet again if he stole anything else from my bag. He ignored me then disappeared into the crowd like a casual citizen.
3 likes in 14 minutes... slow day huh
thinkin a lot today about how lewis really struggled with accepting himself as gay initially, not because of religious sentiment or societal pressure, but because he felt it was unnatural. he’s so focused on the logic of things that he just had such trouble seeing homosexuality as anything but a bad deviation from what’s ‘natural’ or ‘normal,’ on a biological level — in his mind, men are supposed to desire women for procreation and vice versa, and that’s that. he knew he couldn’t change it, but he still saw it as something wrong with him.
and peter helped him a lot through that, long before they were together. there were two big things that i want to talk about w that. first off, there was a point where they got on the topic of marriage / heirs, and lewis admitted that he didn’t ever want to take a wife and didn’t really feel anything towards women. he also remarked, self-deprecatingly, that it was probably unnatural of him not to desire women that way. that got them on the topic of sexual desire in humans vs in animals, since they’re both nerd idiots and this discussion was happening in the midst of a discussion on peter’s moth research. he pointed out that for certain types of moths, what’s natural for them is to exist in extremely short periods just to mate and die. not everything ‘natural’ is something to strive for, and sometimes mankind is above what’s natural, and that’s okay.
what stuck with lewis a lot more, however, was when peter smiled at him and asked, ‘would you like to see something truly unnatural, mr anwyl?’ and he took him out to the greenhouse. he showed him all the plants that could grow inside there that could never grow outside in england. it’s the very definition of unnatural. they only grow and exist there because of the human cultivation and care — it’s something that couldn’t happen just in nature.
that stuck with lewis. the example of the moths helped him think about the fact that ‘natural’ means different things and it’s not something universal to strive for, and the greenhouse helped him realise that even if he is unnatural, that’s not a bad thing. a greenhouse is unnatural and beautiful — he could be too.
Am I pretty?
i just think it’d be very cool if one day someone realized how dangerous Makoto could possibly be because of just how insanely far he’s willing to go to follow what he believes in
aki and angel devil are getting to me again