#what if Tumblr posts

  • wildermouse
    19.05.2021 - 4 minutes ago

    holy shit i am not having a good time !!!

    #i’m really trying to complain less but oh my god #last week i had some good moments and felt such a weight off my shoulders and felt good about working on my shop and taking my time #now i feel so much fucking anxiety and i’m stressed and i can’t be at ease i have such strong anticipation anxiety except idk what i’m antic #anticipating!!!! #i guess just what the outcome of this shitfuckery is gonna be and if i’m gonna have to find somewhere else to live #i know i need to keep working on my shop and advertising and try to grow it bigger so i make more sales and can afford to live #but i don’t feel capable of creating rn i keep crying and i feel like i need to beat the shit out of my walls just to let some anxious #energy out #i don’t like this current phase of my life #GOD i wish i had a girlfriend this would be so much easier #i could just move in with her or we could buy a van together and i wouldn’t have to do it all fucking alone #i feel so fucking alone
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  • lucigucci
    19.05.2021 - 10 minutes ago

    1.2k followers aaaaaaaa

    THANK YOU FOR JOINING THIS FOOLISH BOY ON HIS ARCANA / FICTIF JOURNEY

    a year ago i had never been involved in any fandom communities so this ongoing support has been such a gift, especially during quarantine. i’m so glad you enjoy what i make and repost!

    #tea with guc #i feel like we should celebrate but idk what to do so if anybody has any ideas
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  • avocadomin
    19.05.2021 - 10 minutes ago

    man glee is not a show that ages well

    #i gave up i think half way through the series or sometime after season 2 maybe #decided to watch a few episodes to see if it was what i remember and uhhhhh......it's so bad ;_;
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  • catgirlsoul
    19.05.2021 - 10 minutes ago
    #I dont want to get too preachy but when the butterflies you get after you change your pronouns or tell some people you trust wear off #you might start to compare yourself to a lot of the very hot transwomen on this site but please dont #you may look completely different than the ideal 'passable' woman or you may find it hard to get to that point if you want #so just know that if being a girl is really what you want then you have already achieved it and you are beautiful <3333 #ily anon#ask
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  • fleurite
    19.05.2021 - 11 minutes ago

    been feeling kinda blue today...

    #leafy.txt #idk if it's the weather or what
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  • 73ghosts
    19.05.2021 - 11 minutes ago

    I had a grueling day at work today, and I am so horribly exhausted  

    #My boss bought us all tacos and horchata for lunch #and he's getting us pizza for dinner #I'm still full from the tacos but I've been wanting pizza so bad #Pizza was over budget but he said we all worked so hard that it was fine #I cry when I'm like really exhausted even if I'm not sad or anything #So I'm tearing up lol #Youtube is down rn I think so idk what I'm going to go with myself until pizza comes
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  • pleasemymel0dy
    19.05.2021 - 14 minutes ago
    #my art#my melody #|| what is My Melody for? If not making off-model expressions #doodle #DO NOT REPOST PLEASE GOD DO NOT REPOST
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  • statesenemy
    19.05.2021 - 15 minutes ago

    doesn’t really apply to just this blog, but do y’all ever hesitate when it comes to shipping? most of the time i really do want to ship, but i always take care to leave things up... a little loose and open for interpretation and not downright shippy, because i'm always a little hesitant about it / wary i might be the only one feeling some type of way, you know? and i know people generally say they’re open to shipping, but also........ *squints* i don’t do well with just implied things, i need it to be explicitly outlined because i’m an anxious little gremlin.

    #* ooc. / sharon carter enthusiast #these are just THOUGHTS #gosh i rly like shipping no cap no lie no shame sorry #not really any *more* than other types of dynamic bc i love those too #it's just smth i enjoy #but i don't want to come on too strong #and if ur writing w me anyhow u know that i don't broach the topic to ppl #i just wait for it to happen organically #but sometimes even if like... the thread is OBVIOUSLY going that way i'm still thinking #HELLO??? is this okay???? is this okay to do??? #you know what i mean #me to me: don't over think this #dark me: but what if i do
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  • capfalcon
    19.05.2021 - 15 minutes ago

    maine, i will soon be in you

    #if youve ever wondered what state i live in. its not maine #but i might someday! we shall see. test run #i think the last time i checked ive been to? 30 states? maybe 25 #there is debate where im allowed to say if i have 'been' to hawaii #i was in the womb when i went to hawaii #i think that counts #like yes i was a fetus and yes i wasnt alive yet #but parts of my body like my heart were there and its still in me and so i think it counts #i wasnt alive THEN but im alive now #i think it fuckin counts #jordan rambles
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  • grem-lin
    19.05.2021 - 17 minutes ago

    sorry more venting in the tags, dont read it might be guilt trippy

    #personal post#just venting #.. #.... #....... #......... .. #its just hard....feeling unloved most of your life #having a braim that focuses on the negative spaces #i dont have a family thats outwardly affectionate and ive spent over half my life feeling like i cant make friends #and maybe a third of my life feeling like every relationship i have is just one little pebble drop away from disappearing #so that my brain puts more focus on the times when no one is around #versus the times when people are around... #so when i say dont tell me to get help or go talk to my therapist i mean like #i just...i am seeing a therapist #but what i want in the moment is my friends...i want genuine love... #not just someone whos paid to help with my problems and help me learn to cope and get better #i want to feel like the people in my life want me #even in my darkest times #but my brain says maybe im not deserving of that #especially if yall feel like im just manipulating and hurting you
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  • char-lotteral
    19.05.2021 - 21 minutes ago

    I just remembered this really random event in my life where I was walking home with my friend in a crowded, confined alleyway until I felt my backpack rustle. I turned around and saw that there was in fact a man holding my wallet in his hand and the first thing that I did was ASK him if that wallet was mine. Now get this, I knew it was mine, I knew the color of my wallet, my back pocket was widely opened but I was so fucking nervous that my introverted instincts told me to ask the thief if that wallet was mine. I shit you not, he just stared at me motherfuckerly and RETURNED my wallet then proceeded to walk away as if nothing happened. WHAT'S FUNNIER WAS THAT I WAS SO SCARED AND NERVOUS that I checked my bag then turned to him and asked him yet again if he stole anything else from my bag. He ignored me then disappeared into the crowd like a casual citizen.

    #not all heroes wear capes #shout out to that thief who probably felt bad for me becauze i was a blubbering mess #when i got home i told my story to the mom amd the first thing she said was youre lucky he didnt have a knife with him #and i ran these different scenarios in my head of what WOULDVE happened if he did have a weapon with him #and my only way of fighting back was to ask the thied if he stole from me #i am such a mess i fucking love my teenage self so much #i still chuckle at this story
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  • frogstiel
    19.05.2021 - 21 minutes ago
    #I LOVE to think I’m funny and then people actually think I’m funny and I’m like 😳😳😳 What. #i would get gay brunch with u so fast if u wanted (and if no pandemic) <3 I lov u ur so funny and sweet #frog.asks #davyperez #also killer url I’m so happy u got it <3
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  • irradiatedsnakes
    19.05.2021 - 24 minutes ago
    #from what it seems like to me. spreading such posts publicly- at least without tagging for unreality and the like- does more harm than good #but. anyways id appreciate if this discussion here were 2 come 2 a close now #Anonymous
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  • cherryvoicenote
    19.05.2021 - 27 minutes ago
    #there’s still some fic stuff on lj like timelines and faqs and playlists if you’re really looking to get into it #but the actual fic itself in on ao3! #i have the physical copies though alshakdhk #if you end up reading it please come back and give us updates!!! i would love to know what the experience of reading it for the first time #in 2021 is like!!! #ask#anon
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  • enhaii
    19.05.2021 - 27 minutes ago

    3 likes in 14 minutes... slow day huh

    #p: neo#kidding#kind of #in my flop era #maybe#who knows #waif leg me not bc what if i jinx mhself #i take it bsck im kidding #Just Kidding
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  • aleximedicus
    19.05.2021 - 28 minutes ago
    thinkin a lot today about how lewis really struggled with accepting himself as gay initially, not because of religious sentiment or societal pressure, but because he felt it was unnatural. he’s so focused on the logic of things that he just had such trouble seeing homosexuality as anything but a bad deviation from what’s ‘natural’ or ‘normal,’ on a biological level — in his mind, men are supposed to desire women for procreation and vice versa, and that’s that. he knew he couldn’t change it, but he still saw it as something wrong with him. 
    and peter helped him a lot through that, long before they were together. there were two big things that i want to talk about w that. first off, there was a point where they got on the topic of marriage / heirs, and lewis admitted that he didn’t ever want to take a wife and didn’t really feel anything towards women. he also remarked, self-deprecatingly, that it was probably unnatural of him not to desire women that way. that got them on the topic of sexual desire in humans vs in animals, since they’re both nerd idiots and this discussion was happening in the midst of a discussion on peter’s moth research. he pointed out that for certain types of moths, what’s natural for them is to exist in extremely short periods just to mate and die. not everything ‘natural’ is something to strive for, and sometimes mankind is above what’s natural, and that’s okay. 
    what stuck with lewis a lot more, however, was when peter smiled at him and asked, ‘would you like to see something truly unnatural, mr anwyl?’ and he took him out to the greenhouse. he showed him all the plants that could grow inside there that could never grow outside in england. it’s the very definition of unnatural. they only grow and exist there because of the human cultivation and care — it’s something that couldn’t happen just in nature. 
    that stuck with lewis. the example of the moths helped him think about the fact that ‘natural’ means different things and it’s not something universal to strive for, and the greenhouse helped him realise that even if he is unnatural, that’s not a bad thing. a greenhouse is unnatural and beautiful — he could be too.
    #( * headcanon. ) #internalised homophobia // #not discussed in depth but just to be safe #i just!! yeah #the greenhouse has a lot of meaning for lewis #it takes a lot for him to finally accept that 1) maybe he's not unnatural and 2) even if he is — so what #growing tropical plants in england isn't natural but it's still beautiful
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  • mite75
    19.05.2021 - 29 minutes ago

    Am I pretty?

    #not expecting a reply ^^; #i just wonder how people other than myself precive me >>; #i dont really mind how i look and thats what matters #but im still curious #actually maybe its better if i dont know ^^; i dont think my self esteem could take it if someone was like #for real you look bad #id be like wow thanks :) i feel bad too dont tell me anything else please
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  • dekirukoto
    19.05.2021 - 30 minutes ago

       i just think it’d be very cool if one day someone realized how dangerous Makoto could possibly be because of just how insanely far he’s willing to go to follow what he believes in

    #— is there someone behind the mask?  ( out of character. ) #its not immediately evident ever because of makoto's general vibes #(high school student exasperated w/ his weird friends with little backbone who falls asleep in class every now and then) #same w/ his determination and intelligence or even how he's capable of bonding with almost anyone #but if ppl connected the dots and looked at Makoto from a different way he looks entirely different #he doesn't consider himself good or evil and moves forward according to what he believes in #in a way you could say that it's only that what he does and believes in fits with the general definition of 'good'? idk how to explain it #properly #it's why he can fight a big villain then come to understand them and then turn around and defend them without hesitation #(there's a lot more nuance to that point but i dont have the brain capacity to talk abt it. makoto doesn't just go 'ok you're blameless #everything is ok' he WILL make the villain take responsibility for their crimes and atone he just won't cut them off or abandon them #you feel me) #i had another comment to make but i forgot what it was and im peabrained i apologize
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  • bestfrienemies
    19.05.2021 - 33 minutes ago

    .

    #cant find my credit card again #:// #get your shit together already #it should be fine...i shouldnt be spending money anyway #there's nothing i need and be wasting it if i was using it so ig its fine #it just sucks bc what if i actually do need it and i dont have it #shut up sunset
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  • sewersceneredux
    19.05.2021 - 34 minutes ago

    aki and angel devil are getting to me again

    #unrelated what if i read tokyo ghoul again #lime.txt
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