When your best friend is a Kaeya main and you’re a Diluc main.
When your best friend is a Kaeya main and you’re a Diluc main.
*Chanting* tiny crab tiny crab tiny crab tiny crab tiny cr
my brain has like, been spinning around in a weird orbit when I think abt consumption of media & cringe culture & fan content and whatever and it s like MAN I rely a lot on fiction for entertainment but i wish I didnt feel so weird or judgemental on other people for also relying on it
Do you guys have comfort videos/vods? If so what are they?
mine are the George colour correcting glasses, the sbi or Dream team MCC vods, and Quackity’s jackbox stuff
im kind of really sad today. pls come chat and plot with me :'
Just two bros being best friends :)
I just gotta say... the wet teddy bear commercial is funny. I like it.
but nothing will ever beat liberty biberty
Or the geico commercial with the basketball player who knocks things out of the way and goes “NOT IN MY HOUSE” “NOT TODAY” “*finger wag*” “OH HO HO!”
Or the geico commercial with the wad of cash that has eyeballs and it has the song (I always feel like) somebody’s watching me. (My sister went as that for halloween one year. My dad made the costume and then followed her around with a boombox playing the song💀)
Or the geico commercial where they have an ant problem and it’s a bunch of AUNTS in their house criticizing the food in their fridge, etc.
Or the geico commercial where it’s this guy on a motorcycle singing build me up buttercup and then it cuts to him painting the white lines on a baseball field but he was so distracted by his savings daydream that he got the white paint everywhere and he turns to some guy on a ladder and asks “do you think anyone will notice?” And the guy just goes “...YES.” And i think he goes “ugh. Carl.” But that might be another commercial.
Or the original jake from state farm commercial “What are you wearing ‘jake from state farm’?” “Uh... khakis?”
Or the one they did for the super bowl with the clever “DRAKE from state farm”
OR THE ONE WHERE IT’S LIKE “CAN I GET A HOT TUBBBBB”
and then there’s one where he asks for a bare naked lady but it cuts off at “bear naked-“ so it’s a giant fucking bear😭
And isn’t there one where he asks for a literal sandwich like just a fucking turkey sandwich or am i tripping?😭😭😭
And then there’s one where the guy wants to replace his wife or something idek that might’ve been a movie or an snl skit tho idk
But that reminded me of the vine that goes “like a good neighbor, all state is there!” And this guy pops up and looks at the guy’s shitty car and says “shit! You better buy a BICYCLE!” And his voice cracks and it’s the funniest thing
That also reminds me of the vine where it’s like “GOOD CREDIT, BAD CREDIT, NO CREDIT, NO PROBLEM! ARE YOU DEAD? FUCK IT, GHOST CREDIT!” And then it cuts to the same guy but with a white sheet over hid head and he says “IM GONN GE TA SUBARU” AND ITS JUST FUCKINT HILARIOUS.
I feel like i could make a vine compilation with jatp as vines that have ghosts involved bc there’s that one (^^^^) the one where the guy slips on the hardwood floor in a sheet and it cuts to the person saying “who’s there?!” And the ghost shouts from the floor “nobody, fuck off!”
And then the one where the little kid tries to scare their dad but running up to them wearing a sheet and the dad opens a pantry door and knocks them over and doesnt seem them bc they’re so short that he looks over them😭
And julie is the girl in the vine where it’s like “if there are any spirits with us here tonight, tell me, does this sound like shakira? Leh leh loh leh loh leh”
And then the ORIGINAL set of flo from progressive commercials before jamie/jaime, before the bundle. Back when it was just the name your price tool and it was the hip hop happening halloween costume of the late 2000s...😌
GUYS IM GONNA CRY
I LOOKED IT UP AND IT’S TRUE.
HERMIT CRABS HAVE TUPPERWARE PARTIES BUT WITH THE HOMES🥺😭
Ok, I kinda wish they did outtakes of Simpsons episodes like they did with Disney movies.
Tbh the only "celebrity" social media account that may pass is Joel McKinnon Millers (Scully from Brooklyn 99) Instagram, where he just posts pictures of himself with puzzles he solved
If anyone has any good, whumpy Dadgil fics to recommend, please send them my way. I have a need for some Nero h/c
Tell me Sun doesn’t look like he’s getting starry eyes at his wife and kid. Tell me Gesun don’t look like they’re Proud Parents (tm).
WHOLESOME CONTENT ON THE GOGY STREAM OMG
Everyone is being v. polite
Why do rainbows have that Moon Energy? Like they always look better in real life than in their pics
(in which Azul is confronted with his worst fear and realizes how much he values the two people closest to him...)
a fic with a lot of angst, but also with a fluffy ending. I hope you enjoy! Ps: 🐙 🐬 🦈 Octavinelle is love, Octavinelle is life 🐙 🐬 🦈
Azul looked up from his paperwork.
“What do you mean 'done'? Your shift isn't over yet.”
“'M done, can't'cha see? I'm quitting this boring job.”
Floyd carelessly dropped his fedora right onto the document Azul had been working on a mere moment ago.
The dorm head of Octavinelle clicked his tongue in mild annoyance. “Your mood swings are getting sillier and sillier, Floyd. Perhaps you should ask your brother for some advice to keep a calmer mind.”
“Dunno what's so hard to understand 'bout that.” Floyd muttered. “I'm done cuz I hate getting orders from you. Always have. I've only been so nice to ya and all that shit for Jade's sake, but I've had enough.”
Tch, so childish.
Azul shook his head at Floyd's antics and was ready to reprimand him for using such a rude tone with him when the door to the VIP room opened with a creak.
“Jade, thank goodness. Your brother is acting even more insufferable than usual, please take care of him, would you? I can't deal with him right now, I'm a very busy man.”
The other Leech twin strided silently through the room and placed his fedora neatly next to his brother's on Azul's table.
Azul quirked an eyebrow at that strange gesture. “Jade?”
“I am hereby resigning my position as vice dorm leader of Octavinelle.”
Azul practically jumped up from his seat, his glasses askew from the sudden movement. His head whipped from Jade to Floyd and back in disbelief at what he was hearing.
“Jade, what...what is the meaning of this? Have you two lost your mind?!”, he asked with a voice quivering in anger.
The twins stared down at their smaller companion, neither of them saying a word.
Mismatched eyes of coal and gold pierced through Azul like a barbed hook.
“Floyd's behavior I can dismiss as one of his childish whims, but you, Jade...I expected better from you! This is no laughing matter!”
“I agree. It is nothing to joke about. You're already the biggest laughing stock there is, Azul.”
Jade explained calmly, finishing his sentence with a cold smirk.
Azul's eyes widened in shock.
“We've had enough of you, Azul. You've become sooooo boring ever since you had your stupid Overblot. I'm tired of working here and getting commands from you as if I'm your pet.”
“May I remind you that we aren't your servants?”, Jade added to his brother's complaint. “Pleasure and fun are the only waves moving us forward. We could never accept someone as dull as you as our leader.”
Words shouldn't hurt on a physical level, yet he reclined as if he had pricked his skin on the sharpest coral.
“Jade, Floyd...I don't....I don't understand.”, Azul stammered.
Was this a cruel joke of sorts? It wasn't the first of April, was it?
No, no, this couldn't be real.
This wasn't happening.
Azul could feel his world slowly crumbling down.
“How many times should we say it? Azul, we're leaving. Jade an' I already had a talk with the Crow and we'll be transferring to a different dorm next week.”
“Transferring?”, Azul repeated. His throat felt coarse like sandpaper and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.
It felt as if the potion he used to turn himself human had lost its potency, rendering him like a fish out of water.
“Frankly, I couldn't stand spending my time in a dormitory together with a weakling like you any longer, Azul.”
“Sea snakey and the Otter are so funny~ Hey, maybe we should join their dorm. Whaddaya think, Jade?”
“What a wonderful idea, Floyd. Although I'm not all too sure if the heat of the desert does our sensitive skin any favors. Heartslabyul also sounds like an interesting option, don't you think so?”
“Ahaha, then I'd be in the same dorm as the Goldfishie~!”
“I won't let you.”
The twins' planning came to an abrupt halt. Both of their heads tilted towards their ex-dorm head, faces devoid of any sympathy.
“Huh? Did the lil' octopus say somethin'?”
Azul swallowed down a traitorous sob and glared upwards into the twin's eyes.
“You two are students of Octavinelle, there's no better place for you in this entire school. Ridiculous. Why would you want to change dormitories? No, why are you behaving like that all of a sudden!? Jade, Floyd, it's really not funny. You had your way with me, but it's over now. Please, return back to-”
An involuntary gasp escaped Azul's mouth.
Jade's words had an unusual edge to it, harsh and merciless.
Azul felt paralyzed under that gaze. As if any further movement would lead him into the deep unknown.
Finally, the worst shock had subsided and he allowed himself to talk again.
“Can't we talk? A-about why you want to leave?”
“It's you, Azul. You're the only reason.”, came the answer.
He couldn't tell anymore which twin said it to him.
“We are sick of you.”
Of course it had all been just an act.
They had never been anything more than business partners in the first place.
Azul was a fool. The same stupid, dumb, little octopus like back then, holding onto a ridiculous light of hope that the relationship he had with the Leech twins was some sort of friendship.
Clearly it had only been a form of mutualism like any other under the sea.
Yet he had indulged in that beautiful dream for so long now.
He was addicted to feeling that way. Feeling like he finally belonged somewhere.
A place between two people that he could call home.
People who would accept him and love him unconditionally.
All had turned into seafoam fleeting through his hands.
Azul took a wobbly step forward.
His legs didn't obey anymore. Similar to how it felt when he first started walking on land, unsure and anxious.
Now it felt like the floor was collapsing underneath his feet with every cruel word that left their mouths.
Floyd crossed his arms behind his head, not the smallest glimpse of pity in his eyes. “Our deal's over, Azul.”
Another step forward.
Azul could barely keep himself above the ground.
Everything is over.
Nobody wants to stay.
“I'll do anything!”
A chocked sob.
The burning ache in his chest like swallowing saltwater.
“But please, don't leave me. Don't leave me behind!”
Jade shook his head. For once, he didn't wear his fake smile, but a completely blank expression.
“Please, spare us the drama, Azul. There's nothing of interest you could offer us.”
This is the end, isn't it?
If they won't stay with him, then who will?
“I-is it money? I can give you more money, I'll double your payment! No? Is...is it power? Do you want to make a c-contract? I'll give you one of the collaterals I received, any one! Jade, Floyd, please! Please, I'll...I'll become YOUR servant, is that it? I'll do anything you wish for! Do you want that? What is it? Please, tell me what it is!”
Azul was on his knees now, his body uncontrollably shaking with heavy sobs. Tears mixed with jetblack ink and spilled down his face.
“Please! Just don't leave me...DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!”
His crying was raw and ugly. He hadn't cried like this ever since he was a child.
Jade looked down his nose at the weeping dorm head crawling at his feet. The once so proud leader of Octavinelle, reduced to a trembling lump of sorrow at the perspective of being left alone.
“Azul, you've always been such a wimp. You act all high and mighty, but in reality you're nothing than a little, weak crybaby.”
Floyd tapped his shoe against Azul's shivering form, eliciting an even louder cry.
“Just take a look at yourself. Is this really what a respectable dorm leader looks like? Disgusting.”, Jade sneered.
His twin brother shrugged. “Eh, you don't even make a good snack in the end. All inky and dirty 'n snotty like that, ewww. My appetite's gone.”
Colors and shapes blurred in between his tears.
The only thing he could see anymore were two aquamarine dots with streaks of black that slowly but surely grew smaller and smaller until he heard the door opening.
“D-don't...Don't go! I NEED YOU!”
With outstretched arm, his hand grasping into emptiness, Azul was left alone in his office with the slamming of the door.
Eventually, everybody would leave him behind.
Not even the twins wanted to put up with him.
Damned to live unwanted and hated.
Left alone to wail in his loneliness like the poor, unfortunate soul that he was.
- - -
Azul awoke, eyes wide opened and staring at the dark ceiling of his room.
Wet streaks coated his cheeks and he tightened the grip around his blanket until his knuckles ached as he took deep breaths to calm his beating heart.
It had only been a dream.
Meaning that the twins hadn't left, they were still at his side and had no intention of abandoning him anytime soon.
With the back of his hand Azul wiped a trail of cold sweat off his forehead.
Had it truly been just a dream? Wasn't there perhaps a grain of truth embedded in there?
That thought stuck in Azul's head and no matter how hard he tried to disperse it, the fear of it being a harsh reality kept him fidgety and awake.
No dice. The only thing he could do was...
Their door wasn't locked. There really was no need, nobody in their right mind would try and enter the Leeches room if they valued their life.
Nobody, but the boy who had stuck around the two eels for what felt to him like an eternity.
As he stood in the dark room, Azul was wondering what exactly he had come for in the first place.
It was the middle of the night, what an egoistical thing to go and disturb their sleep.
Yet Azul knew that he would never be able to rest easy if he couldn't immediately get an answer to the question burning in his mind.
Slowly, he tiptoed further into their room, still mulling over about how exactly he should proceed.
No, this was a dumb idea after all.
What was he even doing? Creeping around like a madman, just because of a silly nightmare...
The dorm head flinched, barely being able to hold back a surprised squeak.
He saw a shadow moving and as his eyes adjusted more and more to the darkness, it was clear that Jade was sitting up in his bed. His one golden eye gleamed through the dark like an anglerfish's lure.
“I...I'm sorry, but...I-...well, it's...”, Azul stammered.
Goodness, why had he even gone to their room if he couldn't form a coherent sentence anymore!?
It wasn't like him to not think things through. Acting purely on emotions was a thing Floyd did, but not him.
Azul felt a surge of desperation at his own helplessness, felt repulsed by his inability to outright voice the storm of anxiety and panic in his head.
“Is something the matter, Azul?”
Jade's voice was calm as always, an anchor in the stormy sea and Azul held onto it like a shipwrecked sailor.
Just say it. He simply had to ask one question and finally be done with it.
Octavinelle's dorm head took a shuddering breath before he continued: “You...you two wouldn't leave me without a reason, would you?”
There was a moment of silence, but Azul could practically feel the eel raising an eyebrow in question.
“Where does this come from?”
“Just tell me, please. You and Floyd wouldn't just abandon m-...wouldn't just leave the dorm all of a sudden, right? For another one, I mean.”
Bed sheets rustled, accompanied by a sleepy yawn.
“Eh, Azul? Waz' wrong?”, came from Floyd's side of the room as another golden eye opened.
Azul swallowed. This was getting harder and harder by the second. For a little moment he pondered over excusing himself and returning back to his room.
No, he was knee-deep in this mess now, he couldn't back down until he got his answer.
“Azul asked if we had plans to leave his side.”, Jade explained.
“Eh? That's all?”
The mattress creaked as Floyd straightened and finally got up from his bed.
Before realization could even properly kick in, Azul found himself pushed by Floyd towards his twin, who held out a hand for the smaller boy to take.
Azul blinked a few times before he hesitantly took the offer, leading him to slide beneath the covers of Jade's bed.
“Move, Jade! It's too tight in here, I can barely squeeze in!”
Jade pressed his back into the wall as Floyd joined the other two on his twin's bed, immediately slinging one arm around Azul's waist.
It was tight and narrow and a wild tangle of limbs.
In short: It was perfect.
Azul immediately felt the safety that only a small octopus pot under the sea could grant him. He could easily find the same kind of comfort in between the two people that knew him the best.
Snuggled in tightly like a puzzle piece.
He bent his knees, pulling them closer to his body like he would with his tentacles to make himself even smaller.
“Why would we leave ya without sayin' a thing, lil' octopus? You make us work a lot, but it's also so much fun hanging around you~”
“It would be foolish to leave the side of someone as interesting as you, Azul. I don't think there is anyone quite like you out there, not on land and neither under the sea.”
A sniffing rang out, making the twins shift a little.
“Azul? Why are you cryin'?”
The dorm head of Octavinelle rubbed one hand over his eyes, stiffing another sob.
This was the last coherent word leaving Azul's mouth before he nestled in even closer to the two eels around him.