#withdrawal Tumblr posts

  • 2nd day of Quetiapine withdrawal.

    Slept 6h out of the last 34h.

    Near constant nausea and headache.

    Can barely walk.

    My top says “I can’t adult today” but really it should say “I can’t human today”

    #meds#quetiapine#withdrawal#bipolar disorder#mental illness #dont stop your meds #dont be like me #make sure you renew them in time
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  • Do you remember being fragile wondrous things? Cherry milk teeth, honey suckle bones, accomplice of secrets hidden under stones? This summer marks the anniversary of a memory without a date. Was it two years, five years or ten since I last rested all my troubles on your head?

    When I spoke your name and you turned in glee enraptured in delight and said to me – this is the way I want to die, with your gaping mouth frozen still – a frame stored in my mind for always. Your happiness has been my drug. Honey, I linger in a withdrawal state missing you.

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  • Day 2 without kratom after going through 4 kilos in 4 months:

    I feel perfectly fine. Other than mild-moderate cravings, I can safely say that for me personally, kratom is basically just like coffee or cannabis when it comes to almost complete lack of physical withdrawal. This break will be good for my tolerance so I don’t have to use so much, but withdrawal wise… it’s basically non-existent. I know some people get pretty bad caffeine and kratom withdrawal, but that’s not the case for me.

    Sidenote: I also don’t get withdrawal from benzodiazepines. Only drug withdrawals I’ve ever got that I noticed:

    • SSRIs, specifically Paxil
    • Morphine
    • Alcohol
    • Phenibut

    The worst withdrawal I’ve ever felt from a drug has definitely been alcohol and phenibut. They get NASTY. Morphine and Paxil were very similar to each other, and in fact similar to caffeine overdose: a feeling of having a fever and just all around shit, as opposed to alcohol and phenibut withdrawal which feels more like PLEASE KILL ME.

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  • I started journalling, and giving myself some rules such as; no phone after midnight. It didn’t work last night, but it’s worked better other nights. I don’t know if I can call it yoga, but I’ve definitely been getting back into doing some stretches.

    This has come after the antidepressants withdrawal has passed. The boat isn’t rocking anymore. I only feel incapable of life when I’m having an emotional flashback, which really supports what my new therapist said over the phone about why my antidepressants weren’t working for me.

    With that knowledge, and the knowledge I picked up doing my psychology degree all helped. You see, I learnt a few startling truths about the pharmaceutical industry and the reliability of their stats, and ever since I’d been eyeballing my Sertraline packet.

    I’m really glad I opted to go cold turkey. I really had to trust myself to get through the suicidal thoughts. It could probably be deemed irresponsible, since I have a child, but it’s because I have a child that I trusted myself to get through the withdrawal period.

    The withdrawal period is also something I’d learnt about so I didn’t feel like I was going to feel suicidal forever. Suicide ideation is something that comes and goes, I’ve been experiencing it for over ten years. I understand the feeling of wanting to die will pass. It’s really hard but I just have to kind of anchor myself. If anything, I hate how guilty it makes me feel. I hate that I could even consider it. I look at my son and I’m like “no, never, I’ll never leave you behind”.

    So now, I’m changing other things. I have realised the important of taking care of my physical and mental well-being. Writing in my journal, not neglecting my dietary intolerances, not staying on my phone all night, stretching, getting out more, and also, trying to keep our home clean? Yes, it’s all part of how I’m planning to re-parent myself.

    I’m hoping that learning how to do these things will help me when I start my EMDR therapy later this year (hopefully… it depends on covid).

    - noon, Monday 22nd June 2020.

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  • image
    #i need space #withdrawal
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  • im going to call my doctor. ive been telling my friend how much i want to stop drinking and he said that if i quit cold turkey then there’s a fair chance that i could have seizures, which could literally kill me. that scared the fuck out of me. but i need to stop. the last thing i wanted to do was bring doctors into this, i wanted to do this on my own so badly. but they can give me medications to prevent me from fucking dying, so i dont think i have a choice.

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  • (6-15-20) You both like politics.

    Stranger: Hi

    You: hi

    Stranger: what up

    You: mhm nothing that interesting I guess

    You: just feeling meh overlal

    Stranger: wow thats quite something

    You: is it?

    Stranger: oh my yes

    Stranger: O'shea Jackson is the name

    You: your name?

    Stranger: yep

    You: okay…

    Stranger: You know how we do it

    You: how do we?

    Stranger: check yourself

    You: dunno how to

    Stranger: now this is a young mans summer vacation, no chance for rehabilitation cause look at the mother fucking years that im facin!

    You: is that a song lyric?

    Stranger: Ya man

    Stranger: By o'shea Jackson

    You: ahh okay

    You: thanks

    Stranger: lol its ice cube

    You: yeah I googled him

    You: I don’t know his songs though

    Stranger: Lol happy birthday cube

    Stranger: np man im just douchin around

    You: np it’s omegle anyways

    You: you seem chill

    Stranger: ya i could be a lot worse…

    Stranger: you too

    You: so on the worseness scale, how bad can you go?

    Stranger: i cany beat the racists but im down with abortion, a lot of people here hate that but idk how bad you think it is

    Stranger: cant

    You: huh for me I’m pretty flexible I guess

    You: I like listening to what other people think

    Stranger: because you have reasoning and understanding

    Stranger: and arent an asshole

    You: idk it doesn’t feel like I’m thinking much lol

    Stranger: Lol i didnt say thinking, but you have the ability to see things from more than one angle,

    You: lol

    Stranger: i love ya boyo

    Stranger: dont you ever change you hear me

    You: okay thanks

    Stranger: you gotta big penis?

    You: nope

    You: you?

    Stranger: Hey 3 inches is a lot for some women

    Stranger: just not my woman

    Stranger: :(

    You: you’re dating?

    Stranger: ya

    You: that’s nice

    Stranger: y…

    You: for long?

    Stranger: 3 years

    You: good for you!

    You: are you happy?

    Stranger: thanks dogg

    Stranger: with her sure

    Stranger: not always so happy with myself

    You: ahh

    You: relationship problems or something else in general?

    Stranger: im just trying to get through this weed withdrawal im going through

    You: mhmm good luck

    Stranger: Thanks

    You: did you try to give it up recently?

    Stranger: i did 11 days ago

    You: when does it get worst

    Stranger: when you smoke everyday all day for 7 years

    You: right

    You: like was it the worst the day after you stopped or has it just been bad the entire time?

    Stranger: its just the same amount of shittyness for about 2 weeks im hoping

    You: is it supposed to last for 2 weeks?

    Stranger: ya, probably longer for me

    You: mhm okay

    Stranger: thats the way she goes right there

    You: what way?

    Stranger: thats just what happens is what i mean

    You: ahh okay

    You: did she quit recently too?

    Stranger: na she dont smoke. I literally was not able to stop, i had to have a reason, and now im trying to donate my liver and they dont want me to smoke so thats the only motivation i hate

    Stranger: have

    You: mhmm

    You: what are you donating your liver for?

    Stranger: my cousin needs one

    You: oh no

    You: what do they have?

    Stranger: Diabetes

    You: I didn’t know diabetes affected the liver

    You: kidney?

    Stranger: Na i think shes good on those

    You: oh okay

    Stranger: and ya i guess it does, shes been sick for so long. She dont deserve none of that

    You: right… I hope she is okay

    Stranger: thanks man

    You: I think it’s really considerate of you to want to donate

    You: I’m not very close to my cousins

    Stranger: I feel ya, im not that close to her, but close enough, i mean she is family

    You: right, that’s really nice

    Stranger: i wish theyd just open me up and do it already

    You: mhm yeah I really hope she’ll be okay

    Stranger: me too, right on dogg

    You: is your cousin around your age?

    Stranger: shes a little bit older but not too much to where i cant donate

    You: it sounds like you’re very close with your family

    Stranger: not really

    Stranger: My gf is home thanks for being so nice

    You: sure have a nice day

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  • I miss her terribly

    But I was terrible at showing her my love

    #angst#breakup#heartache#sapphic#gay #i broke it off #and its bittersweet #i want to be friends #but i also want to kiss her #and hold her while we fall asleep #fml#withdrawal
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  • day 3 of meds change… what a headache i have rn. the first couple days i woke up super groggy. maybe 20min after taking the med before bed my body felt super heavy but i didn’t necessarily sleep better (i wake up a ton at night and sometimes have a hard time falling back asleep so even though i’m in bed for hours, my sleep isn’t great).

    last night i actually fell asleep faster each time i woke up. the headache is big, though. coffeeeee

    so i’m no longer on citalopram and the doc was like “your withdrawal symptoms might include electric shocks in your head” and i’m all, WHAT.

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  • OK I was joking. Ill keep taking meds. The withdrawal syntoms are too much a pain in the ass.

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  • Quitting meds again.

    I feel like I’m on drugs but actually it’s the opposite I guess? Withdrawal syntoms are always shit.

    Also, my estranged ass is thinking who needs a family? Not me. Thank you very much.

    Bye

    image
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  • I haven’t been able to get my meds refilled for a few days now, and I am feeling the withdrawal, holy shit.

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  • “i’ll never get addicted to heroin” “i don’t do it everyday, so i don’t need it” but when you started waking up feeling groggy, with a headache, and sore muscles you still believed that you were fine. because as soon as you did that line of heroin, all of that ceased, and you were okay again. you believed that you were fine until you woke up with cold sweats, your head throbbing, your hands shaking, your whole body ached, your stomach uneasy— “i didn’t realize it had been this long” “i didn’t mean to”

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  • The hunger of addiction calls

    There’s nothing romantic about going through withdrawals

    You’re craving a sample, while here’s just a taste

    Picking and scratching the scabs on your face

    Your life support system’s a syringe

    Killing a piece of your soul every time you binge

    Praying to god and begging for forgiveness

    Knowing damn well you can’t keep living like this

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  • #music#max frost#withdrawal #max frost withdrawal
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